Give Me a Reason (50 page)

“So, you made it, eh?” Laura said, eyeing her extremely
pregnant cousin. “I thought in your condition, you’d stay close to home.”

“In a few weeks, he’s not going to let me go anywhere, so
when Mum came up with this idea, I jumped at the chance to be without the kids
for a day.”

“Where are they?”

“Stephen’s parents have them. We pick them up tonight.”
Leaning in, Peggy gave Laura a kiss on the cheek, and glancing over her
cousin’s shoulder, she smiled. “Hiya, Toni.”

“Peggy, nice to see you again,” Toni said, finding it
impossible not to smile at the familiar greeting Laura had used so many times.

Pointing to the man standing next to her, Peggy said, “Toni,
this is my husband, Stephen.”

Peggy had taken it upon herself to let Stephen know that
Laura’s partner was nervous around strangers, so displaying the friendliest
smile he owned, Stephen Wallace held out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you,
Toni.”

Thankful she had taken Abby’s advice, Toni had prepared
herself to meet the man Laura had described as tall and muscular, but when his
sleeve tightened around his bulging bicep, she hesitated for a few seconds
before managing to find her voice. Extending her hand to the blond, blue-eyed
man, Toni said, “Likewise...um...nice to meet you, too.”

The handshake came to an end, but when Toni relaxed her grip,
Stephen didn’t do the same. Her first instinct was to yank her hand away, but
something in his eyes made her stop. Although she tensed as he leaned in
closer, she held her ground and then heard him chuckle. “And I hear you put old
Nancy in her place about you two having children. Good for you!”

“Stephen!” Peggy scolded, playfully slapping him on the arm.
“I told you to behave.”

“What? What did I say?” he asked. “Peg, you know I adore your
mum, but she can be a bit opinionated at times, and when she’s not, she’s
quoting chapter and verse from
The Weekly Sun.”

“Oh, I forgot about that,” Laura said with a groan. “But I
don’t see any around, so maybe she gave up reading it.”

Peggy jerked back her head as she stared at her cousin. “Not
on your life. She probably just stashed them away so we wouldn’t make fun of
her.”

“Well, best go say hello and all that,” Stephen said, taking
his wife’s hand. “You two joining us?”

“In a minute,” Laura said.

Waiting until Peggy and Stephen were down the hall, Laura
turned to Toni. “Sorry, I didn’t know Stephen was going to be here today. Are
you all right?”

“Yeah, but if you hadn’t told me what he looked like, I would
have definitely had a problem. Christ, he’s like one big walking muscle.”

“That he is,” Laura said, nodding in agreement.

“But you know what?”

“What?”

“I’m doing okay.”

“Are you?”

“I think I’ve finally convinced myself that where your
family’s concerned, there’s nothing to fear.”

“Well, you may want to reserve judgment until you see the
lounge.”

“It can’t possibly be worse than what you’ve already shown
me.”

“You wanna bet?” Laura said as she ambled over and opened the
doors leading into the lounge. Looking over her shoulder, she burst out
laughing when Toni’s jaw hit the floor.

It took only two strides for the entire room to come into
view, but when it did, Toni was shell-shocked. Standing in the doorway, she
tried to wrap her head around a room erupting in every shade of pink known to
man, woman...and beast.

If the lounge had been decorated in muted pastels or soft
earth tones, it would have been a warm and comfortable space, but with walls of
medicinal pink and drapes of bright raspberry, comfortable it was
not
.

The two large sofas sitting opposite one another in front of
the fireplace and the three high-backed chairs near the windows along the front
wall were upholstered in matching material. However, the soft white background
of the fabric had been lost behind a design of pink, violet and rose flowers
woven into the cloth, all of which had brilliant blue-green stems pointing in
every direction. The shag area rug was striped in bands of fuchsia and puce,
and the pillows scattered about were in a shade of magenta so vibrant Toni
found herself blinking to clear the spots from her eyes.

Something about the Christmas tree in the corner caught
Toni’s eye, and when she went over and looked closely at the baubles filling
the boughs, she fought to suppress a laugh. Never believing that Christmas
ornaments could come in so many shades of pink, as Toni stood in front of the
Fraser fir, she made a mental note to never buy anything in the color of
cerise.

***

Standing in the conservatory just off the kitchen, Laura
watched through the window as Toni and Bill stood in the snow feeding their
nicotine habits.

After ending their tour at the lounge, Laura and Toni
returned to the kitchen where they found everyone gathered around the center
island, nibbling on biscuits. Chatting about the weather and the plans for
Christmas Day, it wasn’t until Nancy began to talk about an article she had
recently read in her favorite tabloid when everyone got the same idea.

Announcing he needed a smoke, Bill headed outside as fast as
his feet would carry him, and giving Laura an apologetic shrug, Toni grabbed
her coat and quickly followed suit. Volunteering to ready the hearth in the
lounge for a fire, both Eleanor and Stephen also escaped the conversation,
which left Laura and Peggy standing with frozen stares of interest as Nancy
chattered on about unexplained disappearances and aliens. Finally, in need of
the bathroom Nancy sashayed up the hall, leaving both Peggy and Laura thankful
that she had consumed so much tea.

“How’s Toni doing?”

“She’s okay,” Laura said, watching as her cousin lowered her
very pregnant body into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. “But how are
you doing?”

“Me? I’m fine. After you’ve had two, you become accustomed to
feeling fat.”

“Well, you look great.”

“Thanks. I feel great.”

“So, are you planning to stop at three or are you going to
round up to the next even number?” Laura asked as she sat down.

“I think we’re going to try for a girl.”

“You said that the last time.”

“I know, but Stephen apparently wasn’t listening,” Peggy
said, giggling as she rubbed her belly. Watching as her cousin’s attention was
again drawn to the patio, Peggy rolled her eyes. “Laura?”

“Yeah?” Laura said, turning back around.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you were gay? I mean, we used to
tell each other everything.”

“I didn’t know I was.”

“What?”

“It’s true. Before I met Toni, women didn’t interest me...at
least not in that way, but then I fell in love with her. I was...I was as
stunned as anyone, but in a way, I think love transcends everything else. It
made the fact that she’s a woman inconsequential, at least to me. I don’t know
if I’m gay or straight or somewhere in between, all I know is that I’m in love.
She does it for me, Peggy. She truly, truly does.”

“Well, you won’t get an argument from me. I think she’s
beautiful, and as long as you two are happy that’s all that really matters.”

“What about Dot and Alice? How do you think they’ll handle
it?”

Thinking for a moment, Peggy said, “Alice won’t care. She’s
pretty much like me when it comes to things like this. Live and let live and
all of that, and Ron has never struck me as being homophobic, so I doubt that
there will be any issue there. Dorothy, on the other hand, will undoubtedly be
shocked, but being politically correct, she won’t show it. If I know Dot,
she’ll toss playful innuendo in your direction in hopes she’ll get answers
without having to actually
ask
the questions
she so desperately wants to ask. And as far as Bernard is concerned, as long as
it doesn’t get in the way of his career, he really won’t care. He can’t see it
from his house, so therefore, it doesn’t matter.”

“Is he really becoming that...that—”

“Pompous?”

“Yes.”

“Unfortunately, he is. You know I really don’t understand why
he ever became a doctor. He just doesn’t seem to have that type of personality.
If you ask me, he’s much more suited for a desk job, and he’s even getting a
little administrative belly on him from all those business lunches.”

“And the children?”

“Oh, Laura, the kids are much too young to understand, except
maybe for Emma, but stop worrying. It’ll be fine.”

“I’m not the one worrying.”

“Oh? Toni?”

“Yeah.”

“This may be none of my business, but can I ask what happened
to her? Why is she so nervous around people, and those scars on her back...how
she’d get them?”

The room got quiet for a moment as Laura played with a loose
thread on the tablecloth, and then raising her eyes to meet Peggy’s, she said,
“Toni was…she was put in prison for something she didn’t do. She was there for
four years, and the guards brutalized her. They beat her...lied to her...and
very nearly destroyed her.”

“Oh, dear God, how in the world did she ever cope?”

“I didn’t,” Toni said, taking off her coat.

Startled, both women looked up to find Bill and Toni standing
just inside the back door. Taking Toni’s coat from her hand, Bill offered a
smile to the two women sitting at the table, before walking from the room.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Laura said, getting her feet.

“I know. Filling Peggy in on all the gory details, were you?”

Seeing the gleam in Toni’s eye, Laura placed a quick kiss on
her cheek. “Not all of them, and your nose is cold.”

“That’s because it’s freezing out there.”

“Well, if you’d quit smoking, that wouldn’t be a problem.”

“One habit at a time, remember? I promise, as soon as I’ve
beaten all the other issues, I’ll work on my one with nicotine. All right?”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

Sitting at the table, Peggy watched the exchange and smiled.
Laura and Toni exuded happiness, and while she didn’t know all of Toni’s
problems, Peggy knew her cousin, and that made her smile grow even wider.

“What are you grinning about?” Laura asked.

“What? Oh…um…nothing. I’m just really happy for both of you.
I think you make a marvelous pair.”

“Thanks,” Laura said, sliding her arm around Toni’s waist.
“We do, too.”

“I hate to break this up,” Bill said, coming back into the
room. “Nancy thought you’d want to come up front. Dorothy and Alice just pulled
up.”

“Okay, Da...um...Bill, we’ll be right there.”

Toni and Peggy locked eyes for a moment, both secretly amused
by Laura’s struggle not to call the man by his fatherly title. Pressing her
lips together to hide her mirth, Peggy pushed herself out of her chair, and a
minute later, all three were heading toward the lounge.

“I’m going to hit the loo,” Toni said, stopping at the powder
room.

“You okay?” Laura said, touching Toni on the arm.

Seeing the worry on Laura’s face, Toni sighed. “Laura, I’ve
been drinking tea and was just outside standing in the cold. I’ve got to pee.
That’s all.” Moving her face to within an inch of Laura’s, she added, “Would
you like to watch?”

Toni’s playfulness told Laura all she needed to know, and
letting go of Toni’s arm, she said, “Sorry, sweetheart. I’ll meet you in the
lounge.”

After spending a moment watching Laura’s hips sway as she
walked up the hall, Toni went into the bathroom to empty her bladder, and as
she washed her hands, she heard the doorbell ring. Looking into the mirror, she
straightened a few windblown locks and then shut off the light.

Stepping into the hall, she grinned at the commotion by the front
door as excited family members rushed to meet others walking into the house.
Taking a deep breath, Toni continued toward the hubbub, but a second later, she
stopped dead in her tracks when she heard a voice. A voice she knew. A voice
she told herself years before...she would never,
ever
forget.

Chapter Forty-Eight

Toni was paralyzed. Incapacitated by fear, she couldn’t move.
She couldn’t breathe. Was this her imagination, or was it her nerves getting
the better of her...again? Had she wound herself so tightly that even a hint of
foul prison familiar became reality? Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes, and
cocking her head to the side, she listened. A chorus of voices chattered in
unison, but with intent, she pulled out the sopranos, separated the altos and
concentrated on those low and masculine, and then she heard him again…and her
hands turned into fists.

Terror-stricken, her eyes flew open. With the front hall a
flurry of activity, it took several seconds before she finally saw him. A bit heavier
perhaps, and a bit older, but there was no mistake…it
was
him.

Like a snake, the smells and sounds of Thornbridge wrapped
themselves around her, and as Toni’s nostrils filled with the acrid odor of
death and damage, her ears were deafened by the sounds of barred doors clanging
shut down the wing. In the blink of an eye, she was transported back to hell.

Having greeted everyone, Eleanor had stepped back into the
doorway of the lounge, and noticing Toni standing in the hallway, she was about
to motion for her to join them when she saw the woman’s face. Distorted in
fear, Toni’s skin had gone white and lines of terror were etched into her
forehead.

Keeping one eye on Toni, Eleanor reached over and tugged
Laura’s sleeve, and when her daughter turned around, Eleanor whispered,
“There’s something wrong with Toni.”

Laura glanced down the hall at her partner. Believing it was
just Toni’s anxiety kicking in, Laura’s cheerful expression remained for a few
moments before it slowly melted away. The look on Toni’s face spoke volumes,
and Laura’s heart skipped a beat. When she had visited Toni’s flat for the very
first time, she had seen the look of terror, but this was different. This was
far worse.

“Toni?” Laura said softly, taking one step in her direction.

“No,” Toni said, shaking her head.

“Toni…sweetheart.”

“No,” Toni said again, holding up her hand. “Stay away.”

“Sweetheart, it’s me. Laura.”

“
Stay the fuck away from me
!”
Toni shouted.

The decibel level of the room went to zero as everyone
stopped talking and stared at the woman in the hallway. Most were confused, but
Eleanor and Bill were not. Holding their breath, they prayed their daughter
could help the woman who was crumbling in front of them.

Nervously, Laura chewed on her lip, her eyes locked on the
woman whose face seemed to be getting paler by the second. Taking a hesitant
step toward Toni, she said, “Toni, it’s me, Laura. You can trust me. You know
you can trust me.” Reaching out to her, Laura said, “Take my hand, Toni. Come
on, sweetheart. You can do it.”

Toni looked at the hand extended to her and saw nothing but
handcuffs. Shackles, shiny and bright, they would be clamped around her wrists
and secured so tightly that the thump of her pulse would cause pain.
Never again
. She took a step backward.
Never again
.

“Toni, please…you’re scaring me.”

For an instant, Toni thought she knew the voice. The accent
was sweet and soothing, and she found herself wanting to listen to it. She
wanted to believe it…but then it was gone. Like an evil nymph, terror whispered
in her ear and blocked out everything else.
Trust no
one and you will survive. Trust anyone...and you will die.

Glaring at the stranger, Toni shook her head, silently
warning the woman not to take another step, and when Laura did, Toni spun
around and bolted down the hallway. For a split-second, Laura stared in
disbelief, but when she heard the sound of glass breaking, she made a mad dash
toward the back of the house.

The temperature in the room had already begun to drop when
Laura reached the kitchen, the winter storm whipping in through the open back
door. Rushing over, she paled when she spotted blood on the broken panes of
glass, and narrowing her eyes, she peered through the whiteness of the blizzard
to see Toni charging through the trees to the meadows beyond.

There was no time to think. No time to concern herself with
the snow or the wind or the cold, there was only time to react, and darting out
of the house, Laura gave chase.

Mindless of the weather, Toni ran through the snow with only
one thought in her mind…escape. The bastards would not get her again. She had
made sure of it. She had trained for it. Years of running on a treadmill had
given her strength and stamina, and gulping in icy air, she high-stepped it
through drifts as she ran over frozen fields covered in white. More than once
she stumbled and fell, but growling at her misstep, she pushed herself up and
started again. Behind her, she could hear someone calling her name, pleading
for her to stop, but Toni no longer recognized the voice. To her, it was one of
them. One who would promise safety and then cause pain.
Never again
. She ran faster.

Try as she might, Laura could not gain any ground on the
long-legged woman in front of her, but stubbornly, she pushed herself to keep
running. Her hands were freezing and her face was chafed by the harsh, cold
air, and even though her lungs screamed with every breath she took, Laura could
not stop...she would
not
stop.

Falling head-first into a deep drift, Laura wiped the snow
from her face. “Get up, goddamn it,” she grumbled, scrambling to her feet.
Seeing that the distance between them was growing, Laura drew in as much air as
her lungs would hold and forced herself to run again, but after only a few
minutes, she knew she had lost the battle. Slowing to a jog, she tried her best
to stay in Toni’s footprints, and then something in the distance caught her
attention...and her heart stopped.

Calling on every ounce of energy she had left, Laura broke
into a run, but within seconds she fell again. Dissolving into tears, she
pounded her fists in the snow, berating herself for being so weak. Again and
again she struggled to rise, but her body refused to listen. Spent, her lungs
burning and her limbs shaking, she looked toward the heavens and howled, “
Toni
!”

The wind swirled around Laura as she knelt in the snow. The
sound of her ragged sobs and desperate gasps were muffled by the whiteness
surrounding her, and for an instant, the world turned deathly quiet...but then
she heard a noise. It was a thudding, breathing noise that seemed to grow
louder by the second, and looking over her shoulder, Laura saw Stephen running
toward her.

“Laura! Jesus! Are you all right,” he said, falling to his
knees by her side.

“Stephen! Oh, thank God! Stop her. Please, stop her! There’s
a bridge,” Laura said, pointing across the field. “There’s a bridge, Stephen.
Oh, dear God....please....please, you’ve got to stop her. You’ve got to stop
her!”

Following Laura’s line of sight, Stephen saw the small bridge
in the distance, and looking back at Laura for only a moment, he rose to his
feet and took off running as fast as he could.

Between the physical demands of his job and those that he put
on himself, Stephen Wallace had always kept himself in shape. Hours in the
weight room at the station and long bicycle rides on the weekends afforded him
not only muscle, but also discipline. When he set his mind to do something, it
would be done, so when he noticed Toni had begun to slow, he knew she was
running out of steam, and he was not. In a few minutes, she would be his...or
so he thought.

Toni’s body was no longer hers. She told it to step. She told
it to run, and she told it to breathe, but frozen and stiff, her body refused
to listen any longer...and then the earth ended.

Somersaulting down the hillside, Toni grunted as she tumbled
over the uneven ground until her fall finally came to an end at a downed tree
drifted over with snow. Sitting in the cold, her jaw dropped open as she gasped
for air, but when she heard a man’s voice behind her, she struggled to her feet
once more. Commanding her body to obey, Toni ignored the pain and plodded
through the snow. One step, two steps, three steps...
never
again
. Four steps, five steps, six steps...
never
again
.

Delirious, Toni smiled at the cadence as it repeated in her
mind...and then suddenly, she was on fire. Her feet, ankles, calves and thighs
burst into flames, and as she opened her mouth to scream at the pain, water
rushed in to silence her.

Scrambling down the embankment, Stephen jumped through the
broken ice into the inky pool below, and hissing as the frigid river sucked
away his strength, he waved his arms through the water, trying to find her.
Again and again he swooshed through the blackness, and when something soft
brushed against his hand, he yelled to the heavens, “Yes!”

Grabbing Toni by her hair, he brought her to the surface, and
struggling to keep her head above the water, he dragged her to the shore.
Climbing out, he took hold of her arms and with one strong yank, he pulled her
onto the snow-covered earth and fell to his knees. Rolling her over on her
side, he let the water drain from her mouth, and then lowering his ear to her
lips, he held his breath and waited...but there was no sound to be heard. 

“No, you don’t!” he barked. “
No,
you
bloody don’t
!”

Tilting Toni’s head back, Stephen took a deep breath, and
squeezing her nose shut, he placed his mouth over hers. Forcing air into her
lungs in two quick puffs, he listened for only a second before he began chest
compressions. Less than thirty seconds later, he filled his lungs again, and
giving her two more quick breaths, when Toni still didn’t respond, he started
the process all over again.

Stephen lost count as to how many breaths he had given her,
but when he felt the rumble of a cough growing in her throat, he quickly pulled
her to her side. Watching as the water emptied from her lungs, he sat back and
smiled, mindless of the shivers that had taken control of his body.

“Toni!” Laura screamed as she stumbled down the hill. “Oh,
dear God, no!”

“She’s okay. She’s okay,” Stephen shouted back.
“She’s...she’s alive.”

Scrambling to Toni’s side, Laura said, “Oh, Toni. Sweetheart,
talk to me. Please talk to me.”

When Toni didn’t move, Laura looked to Stephen for help, and
with frozen fingers, he felt for a pulse. “She’s alive, Laura. Sh-sh-she’s
hypothermic. W-we all are. We need t-t-to get help. Can you make it b-b-back to
the house?”

“I’m not leaving you here!”

“You’ve got to...got to tell B-Bernard what’s happened. He’ll
know what to do.”

“I am
not
leaving you two
here!”

“D-d-damn it, Laura, listen! I’ll follow. I-I-I promise, I’ll
follow. I-I-I won’t let her die, but the f-f-faster one of us can get back
there to tell them what’s happened, the b-b-better her chances. Laura, she doesn’t
have a lot of time.”

That was all Laura needed to hear. Quickly pressing her
frozen lips against Toni’s icy cheek, she said, “I love you” in a kiss and then
sprinted up the hill.

***

“How’s your back?” Eleanor asked.

Shaking his head in disgust, Bill continued to stare out the
window. Seconds after Laura ran from the house he had tried to follow, but
slipping on some ice on the patio, when he hit the slate, his back gave out.
Defeated, he returned to the house, fixed the window with duct tape and cardboard,
and then waited like all the rest.

“It’s fine now.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“They’ve been gone too long, Ellie,” he said, wrinkling his
brow. “And none of them were dressed properly.”

Taking his hand, Eleanor gave it a squeeze. “I know,
sweetheart, but Laura is smart and Stephen is strong, and God will protect them
all. I know he will.”

After insisting that the rest of the family stay in the
lounge, Nancy strode into the kitchen and shouted, “Now, what the hell is going
on here?”

“Not now, Nancy,” Bill said, peering out the window.

“Yes,
now
,” she said,
placing her hands on her hips. “This is
my
house and
my
afternoon tea. How dare you bring
a crazy woman—”

“
Shut the fuck up
!” Bill
yelled, spinning on his heel to glare at his sister. “You shut your mouth,
woman. You don’t know anything about Toni, and I am not going to allow you to
call her names! When and
if
the time is right,
you may find yourself privy to that information, but right now, I’m worried
about my daughter, her fiancée and
your
son-in-law, so I think it best you shut your mouth and say a prayer…for
all
of them. Do I make myself clear?”

“I’m afraid prayers aren’t all they’re going to need,”
Bernard said, striding into the kitchen with Dorothy, Alice and Peggy in tow.
“I’ve asked Ron to call emergency services and then start the fireplace in the
library. Nancy, I need you to gather as many blankets as you can find and put
them in there, too.”

Rolling her eyes, Nancy said, “Bernard, don’t be ridiculous.
There’s a perfectly good fire burning in the lounge. Why bother starting
another when—”

“Because the lounge is too bloody large, that’s why. We can
close the doors to the library and make it warm quickly, so please stop asking
questions and do what I say, and while you’re at it, find them all some
clothes.”

“Oh, now you’re just being silly,” Nancy said, crossing her
arms across her enormous bosom. “This isn’t a department store. I don’t have
clothes to fit them.”