Authors: Lisa de Jong
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Coming of Age, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College
The club quickly starts to fill up and I busy myself taking order after order. It’s not quite as busy as it is during the school year, but the place is still pretty full which means the tips are good, and the night goes fast.
Most of my orders tonight have gone to Jay. Dane’s been busy, or talking to people seated at the bar. Besides, with the mood he’s been in lately, I don’t really care to hear him bark at me every time I give him a drink order. Kara asked me what was up with him earlier after he chewed her out for taking too many orders for blended drinks. I just shrugged; it’s not any of her business what’s going on with Dane.
As I’m walking toward the bar with my latest order, I notice Dane chatting with two attractive women at the bar. They’re leaning in on their elbows, gazing at him like he’s the best thing that ever walked the planet. I clench my fists as I walk toward them, ready to pull hair if I have to.
I’m two steps from making a complete fool out of myself when Dane looks up and winks at me. It feels like someone just threw cold water over my head; he’s only doing his job, chatting with customers at the bar. He can act cold and distant, but at the end of the day, I’m the only one he wants.
I put a smile on my face and go around the bar to stand at his side. I’m not supposed to be behind here, but screw it. The only person who’s going to say anything is Reid, and he’s locked in his office.
The women pay no attention to me standing there; their eyes are focused on my boyfriend. I’m both flattered and annoyed at the attention he’s getting from them. I move behind him, tapping on his shoulder until he turns around. As soon as he’s facing me, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him like I haven’t seen him in days. He seems shocked at first, but quickly responds to me, cupping my ass in his hands. Yeah, I’m being ridiculous and stupid, but I don’t care. I can hear people hooting and hollering as I continue to move my lips against his. The kiss is so full of passion, I’ll be feeling the aftershocks in my body for days.
Someone yells, “bartender!” from the other side of the bar, breaking our kiss. I take a quick peek at the ladies who were eyeing my boyfriend earlier to see them staring in our direction, mouths hanging open. I grin at them before turning to go back to my side of the bar.
“Alex, I need to see you in my office. Now.”
Crap.
It’s Reid and he doesn’t look happy. I’m pretty sure he just saw my attempt at claiming my man in his bar. Yeah, maybe not my best moment, but I don’t regret it.
I glance over at Dane who doesn’t seem to notice my exchange with Reid, so I head into the boss’s office without saying a word. I’m the one who caused this anyway.
As soon as I walk in, I know he’s pissed. He’s standing behind his desk with his palms resting on the edge, staring straight at me. “Close the door,” he demands. The tone of his voice is not an inviting one. In fact, I consider turning around and ignoring him all together.
Instead, I close the door and stand still, hand resting on the knob. “Are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand there?” he asks, clenching his jaw.
I let go of the doorknob, but stay back, standing against the wall. “I’m okay right here,” I reply. I can feel the pressure building in my chest, and it weighs on me like a ton of bricks.
“What the fuck was that out there?” he yells, making me flinch. I’ve heard things about him, but I’ve never seen him like this. I’m not used to being yelled at. Degraded and humiliated, yes, but nothing quite like this.
“I was just helping Dane,” I say meekly, staring at the floor. I wonder if he would fire me if I just walked out the door right now.
“Helping? The ladies at the bar looked pretty disgusted. You probably cost him some tips tonight. How is that helping, Alex?” He moves to the front of his desk, sitting on the edge with his arms crossed over his chest.
I try not to panic. I will not let Reid Murphy see me as weak. I felt on top of the world when I was out there with my arms wrapped around Dane, but now I think I’ve fallen from the top of the roof into a sinkhole. “I was –”
“Just stop!” he yells as he starts walking toward me. “You remind me of her, you know? You’re both so weak.” I have no idea what he’s talking about, but as he moves closer, I can smell scotch on his breath. He’s drunk. As he steps a little closer, I notice his eyes are blood shot. I definitely should have left when I had the chance.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I whisper. For some reason, I’m afraid that if I talk too loud, he’ll get even angrier. I’m really regretting coming in here alone now. I can handle sober Reid, but this one is so different from that one.
He steps even closer. Now I can not only smell the liquor, but I can feel his hot breath on my face. My heart is racing, and my legs feel like they might give out at any minute. I think about running past him to the door, but his body is too close.
“Gwen. She was the first and only person I’ve ever really cared about. She lit up my world like the sun one minute, and then burned me with fire the next. You remind me of her, but then again, I would never see her working in this bar, or any bar for that matter.”
My mind starts racing as I look up in his eyes. Everything about him says he’s telling the truth. His eyes are full of sadness, and his mouth is turned down in the corners. This man is bitter over my sister and it shocks the hell out of me. There are things about Gwen I’ve felt for years, but he’s verifying them. She had a relationship with a guy that my parents wouldn’t approve of…they definitely wouldn’t approve of Reid.
“When did you know my sister? She’s married,” I say quietly. She never mentioned Reid Murphy, but I remember her reaction when I mentioned his name on the phone and it all kind of makes sense now.
He lets out a maniacal laugh, leaning his head so that his mouth is right above my ear. “I met her the summer after her senior year in high school. Things were pretty intense, just like you and lover boy out there, but your parents scared her away from me. She pretended like it didn’t bother her, but I know it did. I saw her a few times afterward, and she was only a shell of who she was when she was with me.” He rests his forearms on the wall on either side of my head, caging me in before leaning even closer. I feel suffocated by his stare and would give anything to get out of here.
I wonder if Reid was the guy who showed her true love. I know without a doubt she’s felt it, or she wouldn’t be giving me the advice that she does. I wonder if Reid Murphy was her Dane Wright. There are so many questions I want to ask her.
I feel his nose against the skin of my neck. “You even smell like her.”
“Stop! You’re my boss, Reid, and I need to get back to work,” I say, needing to get as far away from here as possible. I push on his chest, but he doesn’t budge. Panic starts to run through my veins as I squeeze my eyes shut.
He moves one of his arms away from the wall, using his hand to caress my cheek. “You have the most beautiful eyes,” he whispers. I turn my head away from his touch while trying to push against his chest again. He’s too close, and I can’t get any leverage.
“Please, Reid. Just let me get back to work.” I’m fighting the tears that want to spill from my eyes.
I hear the door click open just as Reid’s lips crash onto mine. I try to push him away again, but he buries his head in the crook of my neck. I look towards the door to see Dane standing there with an incredulous stare, hands clenched at his side. The look on his face makes me sick to my stomach. For a moment, I stay motionless, my eyes locked with Dane’s fiery, desperate ones.
“Can I see you after work tonight?” Reid asks, running his nose up my neck, oblivious that someone else has just entered the room.
“Reid, stop!” I yell again, never taking my eyes off Dane. His expression is now scaring the crap out of me, and burning a huge hole in my heart. “Dane, this isn’t what it looks like.”
Reid pulls back and looks right at Dane who quickly connects his fist to Reid’s jaw. The force is so great that the contact rings through my ears and knocks Reid backwards onto the floor.
When my eyes focus back on Dane, the veins in his neck are sticking out. I watch as he walks over to Reid, straddles him, and throws another punch to his face. “Don’t you ever fucking mess with something that isn’t yours, you fucking piece of shit.” His words are harsh, like sandpaper against skin. I step further away from them, wrapping my arms around my stomach.
Dane stands and Reid quickly follows, placing his hand over his battered jaw. “You asshole. Get the fuck out of my bar! Now!”
Dane’s eyes meet mine. My heart sinks when I notice the intense anger and sadness in his expression. “You want Reid, huh?” he asks, swallowing hard. “He can give you all the things I can’t, right?”
I shake my head at him and feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. “He came on to me. He said I remind him of Gwen,” I say. Trying to get through to the anger is almost impossible, though. He’s so pissed that I doubt he’s even processing what I’m saying.
“Don’t give me that shit, Alex. I know he can give you things I can’t. It’s hard to live without nice things, isn’t it? Come on, just admit it; I’m not enough for you, or anyone else for that matter. I’ll never be good enough for anyone to stay.”
His comments are breaking my heart and pissing me off. I can tell by the way his nostrils are flaring that this is going to be an uphill battle. “Stop!” I shout. “It’s not what you think. He was upset about our kiss at the bar, and he’s drunk, Dane.” I turn toward Reid who’s still rubbing his hand over his jaw observing us. “Tell him.”
Dane’s eyes flash to Reid and I clasp my hands over my chest as I wait for Reid to say something. Even half a man would be honest right now. I’m not sure if Reid is half a man, but I’m holding my breath hoping he is.
“You hit the nail right on the head, Dane,” Reid smiles. “I can give her things you can’t. I’m better for her than you are…we both know that.”
My heart literally shatters at my feet when I see Dane’s reaction. He’s breathing rapidly and his hair is bunched in fists. His shoulders slump forward as obscenities fly from his mouth. I want to run to him and wrap him in my arms, but I think that’s the last thing he wants right now.
When his head snaps back up to look at me, the look on his face makes me nauseous. “Dane, you have to believe me. Reid’s drunk and delusional!” I cry.
He steps so close to me, I can feel the heat of his body on mine. “Don’t play games with me, Alex. You’ll lose.”
“Why don’t you believe me? How many times do I need to tell you I love you before you believe that you’re all that matters to me?”
He flinches, but quickly recovers, pointing a finger at me. “Other people told me they loved me too, and that didn’t mean jack shit,” he seethes. My heart breaks for him. We’re both broken from our pasts, but Dane is shattered into a few more pieces than I am. He didn’t live in comfort while he suffered. He didn’t have nannies that at least pretended they cared about him. He was alone, and I hate even thinking about it.
“I love you,” I say, searching his eyes for any sign that this will all be okay. I mean every word. I mean those three words more than I’ve ever meant anything.
“You love the idea of me. You love the guy who your parents hate. What is it? Do you like telling everyone about your bad boy, boyfriend? What is it, Alex? Fucking tell me so we can quit wasting our time!” he shouts. With every word, I feel my face heating up.
I move closer to him, too angry to be afraid anymore. “What have I ever done to make you doubt my love for you? I love you so much I can’t see straight most of the time. If I could see straight right now, I’d walk out that door because you’re being an ass!” I shout back. I’ve never been more frustrated in my life and my jaw literally hurts from grinding my teeth.
“Oh, let’s see here. How about the time you wanted to go to your sister’s wedding without even telling me about it? You know, me, your beloved boyfriend. Or, what about the time you fucking left me in the middle of the night because of some stupid threats from your parents? Or maybe, the night you almost screwed Mason Landers…did you love me then? You don’t know what love is! Fuck, I don’t even know if I know what it is!” he yells.
I feel like someone just took my heart out of my chest because it’s not beating. I swear it stopped. I can’t believe he would say such hurtful things to me, not after everything we’ve been through and everything we’ve done to put our relationship back together.
My eyes move away from Dane and stop on Reid who’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest. The smirk on his faces tells me he’s enjoying this and I hate him. I hate him with every cell in my body right now. “Tell him the truth,” I demand, swallowing hard.
“He seems to have it all figured out,” Reid smiles, leaning back on his desk.
I feel hopeless. Dane seems intent on throwing us away over this, but I’m not running. If anyone is going to run this time, it’s going to be him.
I’m going to run right after him, though.
“Dane, maybe we should just go home and talk about this,” I plea, stepping toward him.
“No. Why don’t you go home, pack your shit, and leave? I don’t care who you have to call to make it happen, but I want you out.”
My vision blurs; he’s definitely running. He’s running hard and fast, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop him, no matter how hard I try. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He steps closer to me, pointing his finger in my direction. “I want you to leave. You’ve probably been waiting for your next chance to leave me anyway.”
I feel like I’ve been slapped across the face. Everything I say to try to fix this ends up making it twice as bad. “Do you really want me to leave? If I leave, I may not come back. Is that what you want?” I search his eyes, trying to breathe a little sense into him.
He looks towards the door. “Yes, I want you gone tonight.” He doesn’t bother looking back at me as he walks out the door, slamming it behind him.
I’m stunned speechless. What the hell just happened?
I hear a chuckle and remember Reid is still in the room. “Why did you lie to him?” I scream as I start pacing the office.