God's Gift (19 page)

They were both wrong.

He just had to convince her of that.

Somehow he had to find a way to get her to trust him again, risk a relationship, despite her limitations, despite his.

It took all the faith he had to hold on to that hope.

Kevin knocked out the wall.

“Rae, can I come in?”

James saw her move to rise from where she lay on the couch. “No, don’t get up.”

He joined her in her living room, took a seat across from her, lowered his cane to the floor. Rae did not look pleased to see him. James chose to ignore it. Justin came over to greet him. He reached down to gently tug the puppy’s ears. “Hard day?”

She ran her hand through her hair. “Lace and I went grocery shopping. I don’t think I’ll do that again soon.”

James could see the tremor in her hand from the fatigue. “Some days you will have more energy than others. It will improve with time.”

“I called it quits before we got to the ice cream. Now I wish we had started at the frozen foods and worked toward the vegetables, rather than the other way around.”

James understood exactly what she meant. “I was going to see if you wanted to go out this evening, but I’ll ask that another night. I’ll fix us dinner here.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

Interesting tone. He hadn’t heard this one before. “I’m going to anyway,” he replied, his voice neutral but determined. “Would it help to nap for a couple hours, shake the fatigue?”

“Probably. I don’t want to.”

James grinned, he couldn’t help it. “Rebellion. This is good.”

Rae laughed against her will.

James walked into her kitchen only to find it was a mess. It made him stop, rather stunned; he turned and looked back to the other room, frowning heavily. She was hurting a lot more than she was willing to let on. The rebellion must
have begun earlier in the day. Lace would have instinctively moved to clean the kitchen for her. It was not like Rae to toss her best friend out of the house and it would have taken that to get Lace to leave.

James poured her a glass of juice and brought it to her. “Want me to dial Lace so you can apologize?”

She looked rather mutinous as she took the glass. “It’s a private fight.”

He didn’t move from his position standing beside the couch. She felt miserable, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to see that; miserable and close to tears, and angry at the entire world. “Her work, home or cell phone number?”

“Home,” Rae finally said softly.

James found the cordless phone on the third step of the staircase, and also brought her a box of tissues.

“Lace? It’s James. Rae would like to talk to you.”

Lace sounded as if she had been crying, a fact that made James all the more troubled. James handed Rae the phone, set the tissue box within her reach, and left the room to give her some privacy.

It took about twenty minutes to get the kitchen back in shape. After an inspection of the refrigerator contents, he settled on broiled fish for dinner.

He heard her come to the doorway and quietly set the phone down on the counter. He gave her a moment before he looked up from the asparagus he was cutting. She looked awful after she had been crying. “Everything okay now?” he asked softly, hurting for her.

She nodded. Sniffed. “What did you find?” Her voice was husky.

“Broiled trout, baked potato, asparagus. Sound okay?”

“Yes.”

She sounded so incredibly…sad. Everything wasn’t okay, she was just stuffing the pain. He set down the knife and dried his hands. She was resting against the doorjamb, her hand cradling her ribs, her energy spent. He tipped her chin up, studied her face, saw so much pain in her eyes. He put his arms around her and pulled her gently against him, taking her weight, easing her head down against his chest. He held her stiff frame and gently rubbed her back. Her body finally softened against him.

He felt the first sob ripple through her. “You must hate me!”

The emotion coming from her made him flinch even though he had known it was likely. “I don’t hate you. I love you,” he said calmly. “You’re just tired, honey, that’s all,” he reassured quietly, threading his fingers through her hair. She was exhausted way past the point she could function.

It took a focused effort of all his own reserves, but he leaned down and picked her up. Upstairs was out of his possibility, so he carried her into the living room. He held her through the bout of tears, until the emotion ran its course and she finally cried herself to sleep.

He made her as comfortable on the couch as he could, quietly reassured Justin, and went to fix himself a sandwich. He wasn’t going anywhere.

The phone rang. James caught it before the second ring, checking carefully to see if it had woken Rae. It was Dave. James carried the phone with him to the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“I’m at Lace’s place. How’s Rae doing, James?”

“She’ll be fine,” James assured him with a confidence he didn’t totally feel. “She just got overtired and her ribs are really hurting.”

“Lace said Rae tripped on the stairs when she was carry
ing in the groceries. That was what triggered the argument, apparently. I gather she’s still refusing to see the doctor?”

James’s hand tightened on the phone. “Rae didn’t mention she fell,” he replied. His voice was level, but he could feel the anger building inside him. That lovable, crazy, irresponsible lady. She could be really hurt and she hadn’t said anything.

He left the phone on the counter after saying goodbye to Dave and strode with purpose back into the living room.

“Rae, there are times I really regret you are so stubborn,” he whispered softly, tucking the afghan around her. He sighed and debated what he should do.

Let it go. It wasn’t worth a fight.

She stirred shortly after 10:00 p.m. Without being asked, he handed her two aspirin.

“Thank you.”

He sat down beside her on the couch and gently brushed her hair back from her face. “You need to eat something, Rae. Feel up to it?”

She seemed surprised when she nodded. “I’m hungry.”

He smiled. “Good.”

She moved to get up, winced.

“Ribs hurt?” he asked.

She looked up at him sharply and reluctantly nodded. She wanted to know if he knew about her fall but she wasn’t going to ask him. He slid a hand under her elbow and carefully helped her sit up.

“I’m sorry it’s so late.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve been reading a good book.”

She looked over to the chair he had been sitting in, looked back at him. He had been reading her recently written chapters of the manuscript.

“Are they any good?”

He smiled. “Yes.”

He resumed fixing the dinner that had been interrupted hours before. He soon heard her move through the house, and then he heard water running in the bathroom.

She came back with her face washed, her hair brushed. She helped him set the table.

He broiled the trout to the point it flaked apart, found sour cream and chives for the baked potatoes. It was a quiet meal, Rae asking only a few questions about his day. James was content to sit and watch her when he finished his dinner before her. He was glad to see she had meant it when she said she was hungry, and especially glad to see she ate a decent amount.

She helped him carry dishes from the dining room back to the kitchen when they were done eating.

He was reaching for the dish soap to clean the broiler when she paused his movements, resting her hand against his forearm. “Thank you, James.”

He studied the serious expression in her eyes, then he smiled. The mood needed to be lightened around here. He ruffled her hair. “You’re welcome.”

He hummed softly as he washed the pans and she cleared the rest of the table.

“I didn’t crack a rib, I’m sure of it.”

He looked up from the pan he was rinsing off. “An X ray could tell you that for certain.” He didn’t know what he wanted to do, accept her opinion or push the matter.

She shrugged. “I’m clumsy these days, I pick up bruises.”

He understood instantly, the moment he saw that shrug.

She was embarrassed.

She was embarrassed about the fact she was not as steady on her feet as she had been before.

“I’ll buy you a cane,” he replied lightly. “What’s your favorite color?”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “Remind me not to come to you for sympathy.”

He tugged her over with one hand. “You’ll get sympathy, even empathy. Just not pity.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Deal?”

She kissed him back, her arm sliding around his waist. “Deal.”

She adapted to limitations better than he did.

James watched Rae carry in her briefcase from the car, noticed the way she moved, using the cane he had bought her to keep her balance as she came up the steps. The unsteadiness was not improving with time, was still made worse with fatigue. James was worried about her going back to work, but also dreading the options she was considering.

They had spent the morning installing a second handrail for her staircase, then she had gone to meet Gary, Dave and York for lunch, while he painted the trim.

He held open the front door for her.

She smiled as she got to the top of the stairs, slightly out of breath. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

She paused at the bottom of the stairs. “This looks nice, James.”

James agreed. The fresh coat of paint looked good. “I was just cleaning the brushes,” he remarked, moving back to the kitchen. Rae joined him. “How did the lunch go?” he asked, turning back on the water.

Rae found a cold soda on the bottom shelf of the fridge
and offered him one also. When he nodded, she opened it for him, then set it down on the counter beside him. She leaned against the cabinets beside him. “Will you really be upset with me if I sell the business?”

James didn’t know how to answer that question. He hated the idea, but he certainly understood why she was considering it. “I wouldn’t want you to do it because of me, Rae,” he finally said.

She nodded, staring at the soda can for a long time. “The business doesn’t leave time for a relationship, James. That’s the bottom line of it. I have seen you more since the accident than I did for all the months before it.”

She sighed and turned so she could touch his arm. “You still want to be a builder, but the illness says you can’t right now. For the first time, I’m facing a limitation that says the business may not be the best thing for me to do. I want to sell the business so I can avoid the fatigue, so I can continue to have time to write. But I have to be honest, our relationship is also one of the reasons I want to sell. I don’t want to give up my time with you.”

James dried his hands, reached over and pulled her into a hug, careful of her healing ribs. “Rae, forget what I said in the past about your schedule and my energy. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. Do you really want to sell the business? Are you going to regret it in six months?”

Her hands slipped up to his shoulders. “I really want to sell the business.”

“Then sell it.” He leaned down and kissed her. “It
will
make a honeymoon easier to schedule,” he offered. James watched her blush and found it endearing. He tipped her chin up with one finger, unable to contain his soft laughter. “Rae, I’ve just been waiting for you to recover before I
hit you with my timetable. Marry me. I’ve got the chapel reserved for the twenty-fifth.”

She pushed away from him. “Four weeks?”

“See any reason to wait?”

“Besides a dress, invitations, flowers and the rest…no.”

He leaned down and kissed her again, felt her hands curl into his shirt as she leaned into him. He reluctantly broke the kiss so they could breathe. “Good. Lace, Patricia and my mom will help with the arrangements.”

Her arms slid around his waist so she could carefully hug him. “I can’t believe you already reserved the chapel.”

He chuckled. “I reserved it for the last Saturday of every month for the rest of the year,” he assured her. “You’re going to marry me.”

He felt her laughter. “Were you nervous I would say no?”

“With Lace and Dave around? It was never a possibility.” He smiled as he brushed her hair back from her face. “But Dave figured you might play hard to get.”

She leaned back. “Did he?”

“Now Rae, go gentle with him. I figure his turn is coming with Lace.”

“Absolutely.”

“I love you, Rae. I’m sorry it took an accident to make me realize what I was walking away from.”

She gently traced his face with her hand, her expression serious. “It’s okay. I understand better what it is like to have good days and bad days. If you can put up with my cooking, I can adapt to a slower pace of life and quiet evenings.”

“You’re being kind.”

“No, I’m not. I love you.”

James kissed her. “Not as much as I love you.”

Rae grinned and rested her hands on his chest. “How much do you love me, on a scale of one to a hundred?”

James considered the question, smiling at her. “Maybe…about ninety-nine.”

“What?”

She giggled as he teased her with another kiss.

“I still love Africa,” he replied, being fair.

“Would you show it to me someday? Your clinics and your kids?”

James took his time with the next kiss. “It would be my pleasure.”

1. James Graham’s life plan was thrown off course and he doubted his next steps. In what ways have plans you’ve envisioned differed from where God has ultimately led you? How did you open your heart to God’s leading?
   
2. Rachel allowed work to fill the gaps in her life after Leo died. In what ways do people use work, hobbies or other activities to distract them from emotional pain? What advice would you give to those people?
   
3. We see James deciding not to “burden” Rachel by discussing with her the pain his injuries is causing him. Have you acted in a similar way toward your spouse or a family member? How did you overcome that reticence?
   
4. Rae finds her day job conflicts with her writing time. In what ways have you been forced to choose between hobbies and job commitments? How do you balance your time? What advice would you give to someone in this position?
   
5. The book’s theme verse is Psalms 37:4-5—how can you “commit your way to the Lord”?
   
6. Rachel’s accident helped crystallize James’s feelings for her. At what moment did you know you loved your spouse or boyfriend? If you haven’t reached that point yet, how do you envision that happening?
   
7. Puppies play a significant secondary role in this story—how do pets help people through grief? How was Rachel helped?
   
8. Rachel prayed that her friends Dave and Lace would find each other. Have you helped a friend find love? How?
   
9. What did chronic pain teach James about God’s love? What lessons can you take from that?
   
10. Rachel loves to write, even though she believes she’ll never be published. Do you have any hobbies you simply do for fun? What got you into them?