Going Solo (New Song) (12 page)

"Are they still together?" Alice asked rubbing her head.

"No." Carson was responding to her as if she was slow witted. "I would never send Mia to their place if that was the case. He went to prison because he's a pedophile. Something that you know quite well."

"Does Emilia still live in Norwood?" Alice asked. She was feeling almost feverish.

"No." Carson was still cautiously answering her. "She lives in Brighton.  It's a nice neighborhood, garbage is collected on Wednesdays, all the houses have garage receptacles, and there are nice clean streets to walk on. It's very different from our neck of the woods back in the day. She... er... got married shortly after Blue went to jail. Her new husband is a music teacher. His name is Bernard."

"Why did she lose her job at the school canteen?" Alice was processing the information one piece at a time.

Carson sighed, he sounded like he was settling in for a long question and answer session. "They were cutting staff. It was about four years ago when we moved to Sunrise Drive, so I hired her."

"Why did you keep in touch with her?" Alice gritted out.

"Because," Carson said patiently, "I don't know why you suddenly hated her and stopped seeing her. You have never told me and she breaks down and cries every time your name is mentioned. I thought that it would have been the opposite reaction. She helped send Blue to jail. I thought you'd have been pleased about that."

Alice squeezed her eyes shut. "Carson, there are things about '97 that I haven't told you."

"I know that," Carson grimaced into the phone, "and ‘98 too. Remember the day by the water tank? The scariest day of my life to date."

"I will tell you," Alice said, on a sob, remembering the absolute despair of that day so vividly that for a second she gasped. "I swear. I'll tell you, okay?"

"Okay," Carson said concerned. "Want me to come over?"

Alice sniffed. "I wanted you to take me to see Emilia but I don't think I'll do that today."

"I have a hammock at the back of my house. It's under an almond tree. It's in a really pretty private spot. You can use it if you want."

"I think I need to be alone," Alice said after a pause. "Wait," she asked hoarsely, "How is Friya?"

"Friya is a nurse at the hospital. She was Mia's baby sitter too. I had to use all the help I could get back then. Both your brothers are in college."

"You found a way to make it work," Alice said chokingly. "I can't be mad about anything. I'll call you later, okay?" 

"Oh, Alice," Carson said, clutching the phone, feeling the helplessness of a few years ago creeping up on him. Alice was like this all the time before she suddenly disappeared from his life: unhappy and depressed. He felt panicky. What if she went back to New York and closed him and Mia out of her life again?

He heard the click of the phone when she finally hung up and found that his heart was racing as if he had just done a sprint.

*****

Alice hung out with Mia on Monday, and she had enjoyed her chatter and her views on life so much that she made a date for the two of them to go for a spa treatment on Tuesday. She had so much tension in her bones that she thought it was a good way to release them. She also knew that this tension was not going away until she made a move to face the past and reconcile the turmoil in her mind.

The spa treatment and massage offered a temporary relief for her and it certainly excited Mia. She was so on top of the world that Alice felt guilty. Mia was acting like a plant that had been watered after days of neglect. She was drinking up Alice's attention like she was starving.

It shamed her into going to the garage on Wednesday evening to ask Mia and Carson out for dinner. She had only glimpsed him briefly when she picked up Mia on Monday and Tuesday but she understood that he was taking a step back, not wanting to intrude on their time together. She missed him so much that she ached. This did not bode well for when she had to leave at the end of June.

She drove up to the auto store and really got the chance to take it in, unlike when she had arrived the first day. It was a spacious place. It had an auto supplies store, a food mart, and a garage area where car washing, wheel alignment, and detailing were done.

There also was a huge, square warehouse that had an office sign at the front and a rock garden with blooming cactus plants. Carson had really done what he had always intended to do in the first place—make a go at Petey's and offer add on services. Obviously, the area was vastly improved since those early days.

She pressed the buzzer at the office door and went inside when it opened with a click. It was a plain reception area with a young lady sitting at a desk in the corner; her fingers flying fast over the computer keyboard.

"May I help you?" she asked Alice politely.

"I am here to see Carson Bell."

"Mr. Bell is at band practice now," she said, "It's on the other side of the warehouse. Just turn left around the corner and walk up the flight of stairs. It's the big red door."

"Thanks." Alice said going through the door and smiling. She remembered the days when they practiced in the church hall as often as they allowed. It was only at that time that they could use the church's equipment. She walked around the building and up the flight of stairs and pressed the buzzer.

"State your name, age and vocal range." A voice came over the system. It sounded like Ian's.

Alice laughed. "My name is Alice Bell. Age: 29. Vocal range: soprano."

The door buzzed open and she pushed in and was pleasantly surprised to see the space that she walked into. She was expecting a dark warehouse space with a lot of junk scattered in the place and the band occupying a small space with just a few pieces of equipment jammed into a corner.

Instead, where she entered was a small patio like space that even had an umbrella stand and a place for hanging up raincoats. She could see into a spacious reception area with a stage, where all the musical instruments were. They even had stage lighting and microphones. It was set up like a small concert hall, except that there were comfortable chairs strewn around where one would expect to find seating for the audience. When she advanced further into the room, she spotted a small kitchenette and a large television mounted on a wall.

The door swung shut behind her and made a clicking sound. The guys were sitting around and staring at her. She stopped looking around and looked at them one by one. Carson was looking at her with surprise and the rest of them—Ian, Aaron, Logan, and Jayce—looked as if they were frozen in place, as if nobody dared to blink.

A lady came around the corner, holding a piece of paper. She was petite and pretty, and wore a curly pixie haircut. "Guys I don't think I can sing this…" She stopped too and stared at Alice.

"Everybody, you remember Alice," Carson said, breaking the charged silence. "Ruby," he turned to the lady, "I don't think you have really met Alice officially."

"Oh yes." Ruby put on a fake bright smile. "Alice. 'The' Alice."

The rest of the guys nodded at her. Alice grimaced. A more unwelcome feeling could not be had anywhere else in the world. They were watching her with various levels of distrust and hostility.

"I can't believe this," Alice said looking around, feeling awkward. "You guys have your own place to practice and it looks good."

"Welcome back, Alice," Aaron said, coming over to her and hugging her. "You took us by surprise with your entrance, that's all. And yes, we have been practicing here for close to five years now."

Aaron the Compassionate.
Alice almost smiled. He was still the same: curly brown hair, light brown eyes, leanly muscular, and almost perfect face. His nickname was "Pretty Boy Aaron" at one time, except nobody could mistake him for a girl now. His personality was as attractive as the rest of him. He was the only one in the band except for Carson who had cried when she was admitted in the hospital under a suicide watch. She remembered him clutching her hands and praying feverishly.

"Actually, shortly after you left, Pastor Keen spazzed out and kicked us out of the church hall," Ian said. He was still looking at her coldly. "We were desperate to find somewhere to go to. We tried Aaron's garage but his neighbors protested, said we were too noisy."

Alice swung around to face Ian. He was casually dressed in jeans and a checkered shirt. His hard body, honed from doing years of construction work, was tense. His hard dark face had a slightly menacing look to it and his unusually light brown eyes were shooting questions at her. Nobody wanted to mess with Ian and he was fiercely loyal to Carson.

Alice had expected a cold response from him. He loved his friends with all he had, and carried their pain like it was his. He saw her leaving as a betrayal.

Jayce coughed, intruding on her perusal of Ian. "I am sorry, I can't stay guys," he croaked, hauling himself from the chair he was sitting in. "I feel like crap."

Alice watched as he shuffled over towards her. Jayce was officially obese. He looked like he weighed over three hundred pounds. She remembered when he was younger and slimmer. Back then, he was one of the most popular band members with the girls. He had what the girls used to call bedroom eyes.

She smiled at him. His face was fuller but he was still handsome.

"Welcome back, Alice," Jayce said hoarsely, "You look lovely, as always. I hope you are here to stay. Carson has not been the same without you." Jayce the Honest, did not mince words.  He was usually the first to say what was on everybody's mind. If he did not have to go he would probably have asked her point blank what had happened and all sorts of pointed questions. She was not sad to see leave now.

Logan was yet to speak. As usual, he was the diplomat—the one who was the pacifier. Logan never got tangled in arguments. He would hear both sides of any story and logically dissected them. Alice glanced at him. He was looking at her seriously, but as usual, he was hard to read, twiddling his thumbs in his lawyerly way. She wondered if he had actually done law. He had always struck her as one, even when they were little. He was also dressed in a suit. He had a suave, professional air about him.

"Have a seat," Carson said, leading her to a chair. "Thanks for stopping by," he whispered to her. He knew what a big deal it was for her to face them all.

Alice sat down. "So what are you guys up to?"

"They have a song to do at the Mayor’s anniversary ball in two weeks," Ruby said.

Alice could detect a slight sneer in her voice. "The mayor requested 'The Prayer', you know the version by Donnie McClurkin and Yolanda Adams, and they," she gestured to the guys, "want me to do the female part. I don't think I can go up to that vocal range. Maybe you can do it, unless of course you are not planning to be around?"

Ruby was watching her, a challenging glint in her eyes.

Alice met that look with one of her own. "I know the song."

Ruby shrugged. "Maybe you can sing it with Carson then. I heard you two were the best duet in these parts when you were around, when you cared to be around."

"Ruby!" Carson said roughly.

"Somebody has to say it!" Ruby said disgustedly. "This poor excuse of a woman left her baby and her husband and waltzes back into their lives as if nothing ever happened."

Alice eyes flashed angrily and she stood up without even thinking. She was prepared to be judged but this was too much from a woman who did not even know her. "Do you see my shoes?" she asked Ruby spiritedly.

Ruby looked at her as if she had lost her senses but she did glance down at Alice's shoes.

"Look at them!" Alice said, pointing at them. They were plain old sandals that she had picked up in a variety store downtown Montego Bay but she had to emphasize her point. "None of you has ever walked in them. Do you hear me? You do not know me! You do not know my journey! You do not know the sheer will I had to muster to take a plane to come back to this place to face my demons! You do not know, and you should not judge."

She picked up her bag. "I am outta here. Nice to see y'all again."

"I think you should do the song. Stay, practice with us," Logan said in the ensuing silence. "Ruby can't sing as well as you can."

"Thanks a lot, Logan," Ruby said chuckling.

Alice felt like laughing even though it was not funny. Here she was, heading out in high dungeon and Logan finally decides to speak. Apparently, her speech proved something to him. She had no idea what. She turned back around. They were all nodding, even Ruby. She had a contrite look on her face as well. She edged back into the room and sat on the chair. "So Logan Sinclair speaks. Are you a lawyer now or what?"

"Guilty," Logan said, still giving her that challenging, assessing look.

"When's the Mayor's ball again?" Alice dragged her eyes from his.

"Third week in June," Ruby said, a more sedate tone to her voice. She was also looking at Alice with a reluctant curiosity.

Alice could see the question in her eyes:
What is your story, Alice?
Alice ignored her eyes. She wanted to answer her verbally but instead she focused on Carson, who was giving her a half smile. No doubt, he was pleased that she had showed some of her old spunk.