Good Greek Girls Don't (35 page)

My mother is going to kill me if I'm pregnant. This is not how her children do things. Her children get married first so no one count's the months on their fingers. Her children don't have sex before marriage because she raised her children properly. Sex is not something to be enjoyed, sex is something done only for reproductive purposes. As far as my mother is concerned I will be a good little virgin bride on my wedding night. If I'm pregnant then how the hell am I going to explain this to her? I don't even know if I am ready to be a mother. I can barely look after myself, let alone a baby. I know I look after Effie's kids, Tas's child and my godson whenever I can, but that's different; it's not the same when it's your own because when it belongs to someone else, you can always hand the kid back when it gets too hard or when the gift they have left in their nappy is too stinky. You can't hand back your own baby, it gets handed back to you. God, I should have listened to my mother. I should have stayed a virgin until I got married.

‘I wasn't sure you'd come back.'

Where else would I go? Despite everything, there is nowhere else I could not come back to, with all of this going on.

‘I had to clear my head.'

‘Can you get past this, Des? Tell me that you still love me.'

‘Of course I love you. God, Chris, that won't ever change.' I don't have a choice in the matter. My heart has a mind of its own when it comes to Chris. ‘It's just so hard to believe the things you told me are true. That's not the person I fell in love with.'

‘That's not me, Des. That was me a long time ago. Long before you.'

I know that everyone makes mistakes. I've made my own share of mistakes.

‘Des, I didn't mean to hurt anyone but I thought –'

‘I know what you thought. You don't have to tell me again. I get it. Different time, different people.' He thought that he and Danielle were on the same page, that it was just about sex, and I know that Chris and I are not just about sex. We never were. I know that Chris and I never discussed exclusivity, it was just a given –for both of us. Plus, everyone has something in their past they are not too proud of. And Chris is not the same person he was then because if he was, he wouldn't have held me while I fell apart. If he was the same person he would have walked away when he found out about Denny. The old Chris may have walked away and not looked back, but not my Chris. That much I know is true.

‘So, we're okay?'

I can't believe we're both crying. Actually, I can believe that I'm crying, but Chris? He's the sane, strong, logic one. He should have known that I could never walk away. Not after everything we've been though.

‘We're okay, babe.' I just want to kiss away his tears.

Take his fears and scatter them in the wind. ‘I couldn't walk away even if I tried.'

‘I love you, Des.'

‘I love you, too, Chris.'

‘You know, there's something else we need to sort out.'

Oh, God, what now? Please, no more deep dark secrets coming to the surface. I think I've had just about all I can handle with those.

‘You owe me a test.'

Oh, yeah, I can't believe I forgot about that. How do I tell him?

‘I'm not taking the test, Chris.' I realised our fate while I was sitting on the pier.

‘Des, please, you have to. We have to know what's going on.'

Oh, my poor baby. I can't let him suffer anymore. I have to end his torture.

‘I know what's going on. I got my period while I was at the beach. I'm not pregnant.'

Silence.

‘Did you hear me? I'm not pregnant. We can stop stressing now.' Hang on a second, what is that look on his face? ‘Chris, it's okay, I'm not pregnant.' Is the message finally starting to sink in?

‘Are you sure?'

Sure as sure can be. I feel like dancing, like romancing. Hang on, strike that thought – that's what got us into this mess in the first place. No more jiggy jiggy for a while thank you very much. But what the hell is with Chris? After everything we've been through today I thought this would be as much as a relief to him as it is to me.

‘I'm sure.' Definitely not getting the reaction I thought I would. ‘Sweetheart, what's wrong?'

‘Nothing, hon.'

There is no way that I am going to let him get away with this now. Or ever again. The word ‘nothing' will never be an answer to a question for either of us.

‘Chris – spill it.' I am not letting him move from this couch.

‘I guess I'm a little disappointed.'

‘You wanted me to be pregnant?' Why on earth would he want me to get fat and bloated immediately after our wedding? Hell, we've got a whole lifetime for me to become a big fat Greek Mama.

‘It's not that I wanted you to be pregnant.'

Why is he hesitating? Talk to me, Chris.

‘But you know, I didn't want you not to be pregnant either.'

Okay, if Chris is trying to confuse me, he's doing a pretty good job. He doesn't want me to be pregnant, yet he doesn't want me not to be either?

‘Chris?' What am I supposed to say here?

‘It's just that for a few hours I started to picture what it would be like. You know, you, me, and our baby. And I liked what I saw.'

Oh, boy. I know where he's coming from but I didn't expect this reaction. After all, pregnant now? We're just not ready for it. But then again, I wasn't ready to fall in love with Chris and I did, when I least expected it.

‘Honey, I'm sorry.' What am I apologising for? For not being pregnant and throwing our lives into turmoil? Or for shattering a dream that didn't even exist until a few hours ago? ‘You know, when I first realised I was late I started picturing it, too. You, me and the baby. A part of you and me, a little life that would hopefully inherit the best of both of us and not the worst. I could picture the nursery, the pram. Within an hour I had progressed to getting the kid ready for kindergarten and I didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl.' God, for the first few hours all I saw was pink and blue.

‘But then reality hit me.' With a thud I might add. ‘Can you imagine our mothers?' More like my mother. I could just imagine Mum ripping her heart out and giving it to me, telling me I may as well use it as a football.

‘Chris, we're just starting out. We've got plenty of time to make that dream happen. Now just wasn't the time.'

‘I know, Des. I just couldn't help wondering.'

‘Me, too, but next time we take this test it'll be different. It'll be right.' Next time there won't be all this madness going on around us. ‘I love you, Chris, and I want to have a baby with you. Just not yet.' I do love him, more than I ever expected to, and I hope the kisses I am planting on him are getting my point across. ‘I just want it to be you and me for a little bit longer.'

‘That sounds pretty good to me.'

Uh-oh, Chris is nibbling my neck … I know where this is heading. Oh, no, this can't happen right now. No matter how appealing Chris is when he is all sensitive and mushy.

‘Chris, stop.' No more rudie nudies for us for a while I'm afraid.

‘What is it?'

He's going to hate me for this one. ‘Babe, one pre-wedding pregnancy scare is enough. This ain't going to happen again until you've got that ring on my finger.' Even I don't like the sound of my own suggestion.

‘Huh?' Shock and disbelief are written all over his face.

‘Sorry, babe, but the next time we make love, we'll be wearing matching wedding bands and I'll be dressed in white for the occasion.'

‘You've got to be kidding. Des, get back here.'

‘Hey, this isn't easy for me either you know.' Half the time, it takes all my energy not to jump Chris while we're sitting at Sunday lunch with my family or dinner with his. ‘Just imagine how good our wedding night will be.' And I can just imagine how painful the next two months are going to be.

‘Forget it.' No way, no chance, not in a million years. There is no way that they are going to do this to me.

‘Give it up, Des. You have to have a hen's night.'

I wish Ricki would shut up. I mean, this is supposed to be a relaxing night with the girls to finalise last minute wedding details and help Ricki pack up for the big move, and instead I've got the Three Female Greek Stooges. With Ricki, Katerina and Effie ganging up on me, I'm going to end up with a migraine. A hen's night? How eighties can you get?

‘I do not want one.' And besides, if I've banned Evan from throwing Chris a buck's party then I don't think it will go down too well if all of sudden I have a hen's. I banned Evan because I know what he is capable of. And I know what these three stooges are capable of; put these collective minds together and all you will end up with is trouble.

‘I don't need one and I don't want one.' How many other ways can I say it so the message sinks into their thick heads? ‘Besides, Rick, you'll be too busy with your move.'

I can't believe Ricki is going to be back home within a week. She's got the packing boxes, she's hired the removalists and she's ready to go. She's moving into her own place – a place she bought years ago but never got to enjoy because she was always being sent here, there and everywhere. She will definitely not have time to organise a hen's night.

‘But it's tradition!' Shut up, Katerina. ‘Besides, when you organised mine I promised that I would give you one when the time came.'

And that is what I am worried about. Katerina is gearing up for revenge. Her hen's night was a scream. We threw it at a friend's house; a stripper arrived every hour for five hours. Each one was a different theme: a cop, a sailor, a flame thrower, a Gene Simmons Kiss look-a-like and, finally, a hairy gorilla-gram. We had waiters who wore nothing but G-strings feeding us and delivering our drinks. I think the last person passed out at about eight in the morning, a few hours after the guys joined us from the buck's night. I can just imagine what Katerina has planned for me. Not a fucking chance. I think I shall have to go into hiding.

‘That's very sweet of you, Kat, but no thank you. You can throw me a bridal shower instead and explain how it is different to the stock standard kitchen tea that all the wogs expect.' There you go, perfect solution. A bridal shower. That should satisfy Katerina.

‘Come on, Des!'

Great, now Effie's getting in on the act.

‘Do it for me. I couldn't have one, so let me live through you.'

I am not going to fall for a guilt trip. They should know me well enough by now to know that it simply will not work. Although, I suppose I got myself into this whole mess after I fell for Katerina's guilt trip and went to her barbecue that fateful night. Who the hell am I kidding? I'm a sucker for a guilt trip.

Time to start negotiating. ‘How about a compromise? How about a girlie weekend away before the wedding?' This is definitely one of my better ideas. ‘We could find a spa resort somewhere, have massages, facials, aromatherapy and all that stuff. Kati – your mum can help George with the kids for a couple of days, couldn't she? Ef – you can just dump the kids with Mum.' Effie really toned down her babysitting demands after she decided to divorce Andreas and sold the shop. She only left them at home with Mum when she was meeting with her lawyer. I think Mum actually misses having them around all the time. ‘Ricki – I don't think Ari will mind if you disappear for a couple of days.'

I can tell that they're actually considering this as an acceptable alternative to a traditional tacky hen's party. Maybe I have succeeded in getting them to forget about their ridiculous ideas! Actually, now that I think about it, Ricki hasn't mentioned Ari a lot lately. I wonder if everything is okay there? She's been avoiding the topic for a couple of weeks now. I think we need to have a deep and meaningful once Effie and Katerina leave Ricki's place tonight.

‘That's a cop out, Des. That's not a hen's night.' Ricki, shut up! The other two are seriously thinking about this. After all, it will give them a child-free weekend; I think it'll be the first time ever for Katerina. I just have their best interests at heart.

‘What do you guys think? Ef? Kati?' Please say yes, please say yes. If they agree, then Ricki won't have any choice but to go along with it all.

‘Gotta admit, a weekend without George and the three terrors sounds pretty good.'

Thank you, Katerina, we have success. It will be like the domino effect – now that one has fallen the others will follow.