Goodbye Secrets (The Lost & Found Series book #2) (52 page)

Hazel hits her glass with her fork once everyone is settled at the tables.

“If you all look in front of you, you’ll see a large foil package, a candy-wrapper-looking item. This is called a Christmas cracker, for those who aren’t familiar with it. You need the help of the person next to you to pull it open. Inside, you should find some treats as well as a crown—which you must wear—and a piece of paper that has a motto, joke, or riddle on it. Have fun!” She smiles. Everyone starts pulling. Within minutes we hear chuckling around the room. More and more crowns. I turn to Grayson with my cracker. He pulls with me and I search through my treasure after I place my paper crown on my head. I open the piece of paper.

“You are the author of your life. Only you can control the drama, mystery, suspense, love, patience, tolerance, and characters you allow in your story to complement you,” I read aloud, losing my smile slightly as I really take in the message and its meaning.

“Pretty relevant, isn’t it, darling?” Grayson whispers in my ear. I just stare at him and swallow hard.

“What did you get?” I finally ask.

“Knock-knock joke.” He shrugs. I decide to dive into my ham, wishing it was turkey instead. Too much work, though, for so many people.

Within half an hour or so, dinner is done and everyone is clearing up. It’s only four in the evening. This day is lasting forever, though I think I’d feel differently if there weren’t so many people here. I feel so on edge. Who wouldn’t, with so much security around? Who could relax? Well, Charlie can—apparently. I study him, amazed at the octave he can reach with his snoring. He’s in the armchair, glasses down to the tip of his nose, the magazine he was reading almost falling out of his hand. His mouth hangs open crookedly—to allow the awkwardly loud sounds, of course.

“Should we videotape this, sweetheart, for blackmail or proof?” Grayson asks with a chuckle from behind me. Just then, Hazel walks in to find us studying her man.

“Oh, Hazel, you must’ve had him praying really hard last night.” I giggle.

“Stop, sweetheart! That’s my aunt, for Christ’s sake!” Grayson says, wiggling off an obvious, uncomfortable chill. Hazel walks away, shaking her head as her face turns a deep red.

“Speaking of praying hard, love, it’s time for bible study.” He kisses my ear and grabs my hand to lead me upstairs.

“We have to be back downstairs at six o’clock, sweetie.”

“Yes, of course, love—Christmas tea.” He smiles as he hangs his arm around my lower waist. I do the same and slide my hand into his back pocket as we down the hall to our room. “It really means a lot to me that you followed all of my Christmas traditions growing up. I know I haven’t been easy to be around these past few days, and yet, you’ve kept right on schedule. Thank you, sweetheart.” He stops at our door and pulls me to him.

“Grayson, things will get a lot easier for both of us once we leave tomorrow. Maybe not at first, for me at least, but they will.” I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince more, Grayson or myself.

“Come, love, let me remind you what a magnificent creature you are marrying.” He opens the door and pulls me through, unable to wipe the boyish grin off of his face.

As Grayson and I wrap ourselves up in post-coital bliss, I can’t help thinking about how amazing we are together.

“Mmm,” I sigh.

“Sleepy, sweetheart?” He nuzzles my neck from behind.

“Yeah, ridiculously ... why am I so tired?”

Grayson softly caresses my stomach to remind me.

“Oh, yeah.” I smile.

“Go ahead, darling, take a nap. I think I’ll join you.” He pulls me closer.

“Mmm, okay,” I say around a yawn, and give into the soporific spell I’m under.

I’m at the ranch in Calabasas, California. As I walk slowly down the hall, I notice an eerie silence throughout the house—except for the TV, which is blaring loudly from the family room. I head in to find no one there. I smile and sit on the couch when I realize mine and Grayson’s wedding video is playing. Oh, it looks like we get married at the house here, outside. I love the gown! I am quite surprised that I’m not showing yet in the video. Huh ... odd. Grayson and I are beaming at each other. I start to say my vows but I can’t hear myself, because “My Immortal” by Evanescence is playing loudly instead of the TV. I watch Grayson laugh. I do the same when he says his. We kiss and run happily through a crowd of people.

The TV picture fades, then comes back to show me lying up against Grayson’s chest on the beach. He’s rubbing my growing belly and we’re laughing. The TV fades again. Now we’re in the delivery room and I’m giving birth. It’s a girl! The doctor holds her up. She looks just like Morgan did when she was born. Grayson kisses us both a million times. I wipe the tears from my eyes. He’s going to be a great dad.

The TV goes through its routine again. Grayson and I are walking with the baby around the yard, swinging her up every so often to make her laugh. The TV fades and comes back again. We’re at Disneyland. The baby looks about two, maybe almost three. We’re taking a picture with Mickey Mouse. God, she looks exactly like Morgan! A rise of panic and grief come over me all at once. I feel as if I may be sick.

The music stops playing and the TV goes dark. It returns to a newscaster on Channel Seven.

“We have breaking news. Grayson James, young bestselling author, has died in a plane crash. He was thirty-one years old and leaves his wife, Becca, twenty-eight, and their daughter, Morgan, three, behind.” I change the channel quickly, only to hear another reporter.

“Rich ... sources say he was scheduled on a later flight today, but booked the private jet to get home to his family in time for Christmas. There has been no statement from his wife yet. What a tragedy for this very young family,” Sharon Nevins reports. I stand up, trying to turn the TV off. I glance up at the large portrait of Grayson and me with Morgan when she was two.

“No ... No ... No!” I scream and jerk awake in bed. Grayson is there, sitting up and staring at me. I grasp him to me and plant kisses all over his face.

“Becca ... sweetheart.” He holds me at arm’s length.

“I’m so glad it’s not real!” I cry.

“It is, sweetheart ... it is real.” He’s stern. “I’ve been gone for seven years.” I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. “Becca?” He asks after a few moments.

“What?” I ask calmly.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m patiently waiting to wake up from this crazy dream.” I sigh.

“Becca ... Christ, it’s not a dream! Well, slightly, I suppose. Search your memories, sweetheart. We met at Barnes & Noble when I had a book signing. I’m not a songwriter, I’m an author.” The more he talks, the more I don’t want to listen.

“How is this possible, then? We’ve been together for three months.” I open my eyes.

“Yes, but Becca ... you’re not really dreaming. You’re in a coma.” He grabs my hands.

“What? How?”

“The morning Ray drove you, you two were arguing. You got into a terrible accident.”

I put my hand up, remembering the spinning of Ray’s truck.

“Grayson ... this is ... I ... what ...” My hyperventilating gets in the way of my words.

“Deep breaths, sweetheart, deep breaths. That’s it.” He rubs my arms as I take his advice. I lie back on the pillows. Grayson lies next to me. I look over at him and it really, truly, finally hits me. I throw my arms around him and bury my face into his neck.

“I’ve missed you. I love you, Grayson—I love you, baby!” I kiss him all over his face again. “I didn’t get to say goodbye. You were just ripped from us ... no warning.” I rest my forehead against his. “I could barely function that first year. How could you leave us? How could you leave me? You impossible, impatient bastard!” I half yell at him, half sob. If only he had kept his regular flight—he would’ve been home safe.

“If I could go back and change anything, darling, I would change that decision. I wanted to be home with you and Morgy so badly. I thought I would surprise you. That plan backfired, aye?” He tries to make light of it.

“So, how’s this possible? Are you here to bring me with you? Oh no, Gray ... I can’t leave Morgan!” I widen my eyes in panic and grab at my chest.

“No, sweetheart. I came to help you figure things out.” His knuckles graze my cheek.

“Don’t get mad, please ... but ... is Ray ...” I can’t even finish my sentence.

“Ray is fine, as far as repercussions from the accident. I’m not going to get mad. He’s the reason I’m here, in more ways than one,” he says. I laugh lightly at him. “What?”

“You’re doing one of your frowny smiles ... not sure which to go with, so you do both. I miss that, and your Morse-code eyelids. I miss everything.” I lean forward and kiss his beauty mark, then his lips.

“Even my arrogance?”

“Everything.” I kiss him again.

“Ready to talk about it? I’m sure you have a million questions.” His index finger strums along my bottom lip.

“How much time do we have?” I ask.

“We have until tomorrow morning, love.”

“That’s it?”
Why couldn’t he tell me all of this sooner?

“I didn’t tell you sooner because you weren’t ready, sweetheart. I’m telling you earlier than I planned—you were starting to get memories about us, and you were becoming increasingly aware of your feelings for Ray. I didn’t want our last day to be like this.” He sighs.

“Can you hear my thoughts?”

“Yes, most of them.”

“Well, that explains it!” I laugh. He joins me.

“You can hear most of mine, too.”

I stop and think about that. Oh my God, he’s right! Why didn’t I realize that?

“So, would you like me to start from the beginning?” He turns on his side, toward me, and I follow suit.

“From the beginning, baby, like every good story starts.” I kiss him again.

“Okay. Well the first thing I need to tell you is that while seven years have gone by for you, it’s only felt like several weeks for me. Time moves a lot quicker on the other side. So, needless to say, it’s been quite difficult for me to watch you fall in love with another man. So some of my ‘purple pants’ moments have definitely been my own.” He closes his eyes and exhales forcefully.

“I’m sorry, Grayson. I didn’t mean for it to happen. You have to know, it would’ve never happened if you were still here.” I am overwhelmed by my guilt.

“No ... no, sweetheart, please. I want you to be with Ray. I’m not telling you all of this to make you feel guilty. I’m just explaining what I’ve been going through.” He shakes my hip a bit.

“You ... you want me to be with Ray?” I ask, confused.

“Yes, sweetheart, that’s why I’m here. If you quiet that lovely mouth of yours, I will tell you everything.” He taps my lips with his fingers.

“Yes, sir.” I smile, then gasp when Grayson swats my ass.

“Oh, I will have that again before the night is through.” He rubs it and squeezes.

“So, wait, you have felt everything we’ve done?” I’m actually surprised by this.

“Oh yes! Haven’t you?” He smiles, then furrows his brow.

“Well, yes I have,” I say, a bit impressed.

“I thought so, because you’re driving your doctors crazy.” He chuckles. “Every time we have sex, your heart rate goes through the roof. They can’t figure it out.”

“Well, you’ve always made my heart race.” I touch his face. God ... he is still so beautiful. “
People
’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive,’ huh?” I giggle.

“You nominated me every year. I thought it was a good touch.” He laughs. “C’mon now, love, we’re getting sidetracked.” He plants a big dramatic one on my lips. I clear my throat and give him my best “listening” face. “So, naturally when I realized what had happened to me, I went immediately to the Research Department to watch you and Morgan. It hurt to see you cry so much. You’ve struggled terribly, darling, and while that speaks volumes about your love for me, it just smashed my heart into a million pieces. I watched you slowly put your life back into some semblance of order. I was pleasantly surprised when you bought the inn and started up your business. Proud, actually. I was glad to see Mum come out and stay with you and Morgy.”

“Hazel’s your mum!” I say excitedly, like I’ve just uncovered a mystery we were both pining over.