Graceful Ashes (8 page)

Hendrix hand cupped my face and I turned into the warmth of his palm. My eyes shut from the feel of his touch.

“Zoey…” Hendrix groaned.

“What?” Slowly, I lifted my lashes and my gaze dropped to his lips. I watched his tongue sweep across his plump bottom lip.

“Tell me to leave.”

I couldn’t respond. Having him with me, even if he was under the influence, made me feel less alone…and as much as I knew I should tell him to leave, I didn’t think I could.

“Tell me to leave, Zoey.” He narrowed his eyes.

I squeezed my eyes shut and whispered, “I can’t.” My voice was so quiet that I thought he didn’t hear it until I felt his lips press against mine.

Hendrix hands gripped my hips as he deepened the kiss, and I obliged. A soft moan rolled up my throat as he ground his pelvis into mine. The situation was escalating quickly, and my body was on
fire
.

My leg hooked around his waist as he rolled his hips against me once again and I cried out with need. I had never felt so turned on. The urge to throw away my morals and clothes was fierce, but I knew I would regret it if I did.

“Hendrix…” I breathlessly called out his name as his lips dropped from mine to the curve of my neck.

My eyes fluttered from his teeth nipping at the sensitive skin just below my ear.

He sucked my earlobe into his mouth and gently bit down.

The leg wrapped around his waist gave out and slid down his thigh.

Hendrix caught it and hiked both legs around his waist. He gripped my backside and pressed me against the door.

A shiver rolled through my body as he lifted me from the door and carried me over to my bed. Our lips met once again once I was flush with the soft material of my comforter. My mind was telling me to put a halt to the situation at hand, whereas my body was screaming for it to continue. Never in my life had I felt the sensations that were rolling through me. The want and need was so intense that every little sweep of his finger tips against my skin, every little nibble of his teeth, and every groan that was coming from deep within his chest made me want to fall apart beneath him. My mind was clouded by his actions, and my core cried out for the release my body had never been granted.

Like a bucket of cold water being thrown on me, my inner self echoed in my head…

You’re a virgin, Zoey.

I gripped Hendrix shoulder as he placed kisses down my collarbone. “Hendrix we have to stop.”

His lips stopped moving as he placed a soft kiss against my skin and leaned back enough to look me in the eyes. His deep stormy hues told me that he was feeling everything I had been.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know what come over me.” His forehead dropped against mine as his eyes shut.

“Don’t be sorry, because I’m not.” I managed to build up the strength to say what I truly felt.

Hendrix chuckled as he placed a kiss against my cheek before rolling onto the mattress beside me. We both lied there staring up at the ceiling in silence. My heart finally slowed and my breathing approached normal when he broke the silence.

“I don’t know what it is about you yet, Zoey. But you bring out a side of me I haven’t seen in a long ass time.” His laugh filled the pause after his admittance. “As fucked up as this sounds, I feel like being a better person when you’re around…and I’ve only been around you a handful of times. How the hell is that possible?” Another chuckle passed his lips.

I couldn’t hide the huge grin that spread across my face. “I have no idea. But I do know I’ve never let a stranger in my apartment until you.”

Apparently he thought what I said was hilarious because his laughter picked up to the point of him holding his sides, and boy was it infectious.

“What?” I giggled as I looked at him.

Hendrix shook his head as his laughter went from bellowing to the silent kind that causes tears and pain in your stomach that leaves you sore afterwards. Seeing him smiling and happy had my own laughter erupting while my heart fluttered.

“Stop. It.” I rolled onto my side and gently pushed him.

Hendrix took a few deep breaths and finally gained composure. He sighed as a smile settled on his face and his stormy eyes cleared with a haze of happiness in them.

“I want to show you something,” he said.

“Okay…” I nibbled my bottom lip.

Hendrix quickly stood from the bed and tucked his black long sleeved shirt into the front of his dark wash jeans, showcasing a thick black belt.

“You’ll have to change.”

“We’re leaving?” I sat up.

“Yes. Now, come on.” Hendrix snapped his fingers twice at me.

I scoffed. “Don’t be pushy.” I hopped up from the bed and shoved his chest playfully.

Hendrix caught my arm before I could walk away and gently tugged me back to him. I squealed at the sudden movement, but as soon as my eyes connected with his my stomach fluttered. His eyes were fixated on my lips as he lowered his head to mine connecting our lips in a sweet, yet sexy kiss.

“Get your pretty ass ready, please.” He said against my damp lips before he swatted my ass.

“Yes, sir.” I giggled and collected an arm full of clothes from my dresser and escaped to the bathroom to change.

When we left my apartment, I couldn’t believe he had talked me into going somewhere at such a late hour, but I was sure Hendrix could talk me into just about anything.

“Where are we headed?” I wrapped my arms around myself when the chilly breeze hit me. The dark grey Juilliard hoodie was warm, but not warm enough. I flipped the hood up to keep my ears from falling off.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a secret, now would it?” he teased.

Always the jokester with his answers…his smart-assness drove me mad, but also made me smile. He was a giant contradiction: Sweet yet direct, truthful yet evasive.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” My nerves kicked up a notch at the thought of him driving us to wherever we were going on his motorcycle while under the influence of marijuana. I’d heard it wasn’t a dangerous drug, that it only slowed your reflexes, but how much was that the truth? I’d never been around it until Hendrix, much less smoked it. But the thought of something happening to either of us freaked me out.

“I’m fine.”

“I think it’s best if you didn’t drive. Especially your bike.” I nibbled on my bottom lip as I awaited his reply.

Hendrix stopped walking, and I ran into his back, but before I could get angry about it he spun and cupped my face.

“If you don’t want me to drive, I won’t. But it’s going to be a cold walk to the train stop.” His eyes searched mine.

I ignored the desire to crash my lips to his so I could form a coherent response. “I’ll be fine,” I breathlessly replied. “I’d rather be safe than sorry.” My cheeks heated at my admittance.

Hendrix momentarily closed his eyes then opened them and said, “Train it is then.”

His hands quickly left my face and the warmth that had been surrounding me disappeared.

I officially hated when he wasn’t touching me.

Chapter Eight

Hendrix stayed close to my side as we walked in a sketchy part of the city. I’d never been one to venture to places I knew weren’t safe, and now I was wishing I hadn’t let Hendrix convince me into coming with him. Homeless people slept along the alleyway we walked through. Some looked better than others, but each one still broke my heart.

“Come on, Zoey.” Hendrix hooked his arm around mine as he picked up the pace. “We’re almost there.”

I didn’t respond, but I moved faster as we rounded the corner onto another back street that looked even sketchier. My flight instinct was on high as my heart thundered at an erratic pace. I wasn’t as terrified as the day the attack happened in Graceful Moves when I was a young girl, but I was close.

“I—I think we should go back.” I gripped Hendrix’s bicep tightly and my teeth chattered from not only the cold wind whipping between the tall buildings, but from the sight of three rough looking guys heading toward us. The last thing I wanted to do was find out whether or not they were friendly. 

One of the guys bellowed with laughter that sounded more terrifying than comical and I jumped from the unexpected sound.

Hendrix pulled me closer to his side. “Don’t worry about them. You’ll be fine.”

We came to a stop next to a rusty metal door of a small two story brick building that had seen better days.

“Look who it is.” One of the guys announced.

“Hendrix! My man!” The taller blond clamped a hand on Hendrix shoulder.

I took a few deep breaths to try and keep the horror pulsing through me at bay.

They know his name. This can’t be good…can it?

The other two guys wore black ball caps, which hid their faces and left me guessing at their intentions. However I could feel their eyes penetrating me like I something they wanted to devour. I shivered, and fought my instinct to run as I’d never outrun one let alone all three.

“What’s up fellas,” Hendrix finally spoke up as he nudged me behind him.

“Who’s the chick?” One of the ball cap wearing creeps asked.

Hendrix’s body stiffened and I trembled.

Not good…

“She’s looking at’ some of my work,”

Hendrix had that “don’t fuck with me” tone in his voice like that night at the party with Eli.

“I’d like to show her some of
my
work all right.” The other ball-capped guy thrust his hips forward sexually as the three of them laughed.

The muscles in Hendrix arm tightened as he flexed his fist, and I knew where the situation was about to go if I didn’t do damage control fast. But my heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and I knew my voice would crack if I tried to speak. So I slid my hand up his back and made small circles, hoping to calm him down. It was the only option I could come up with, even if it was shitty.

Hendrix inhaled deeply then let the breath out slowly. “Is there something I can do for you?” His attention was back on the tall blonde man.

“Yeah, actually there is.”

The blonde’s attitude was thick. He thought he was something special, and he was making a point with the way he acted toward us.

“And that might be?”

Hendrix countered with his own tone of authority.

The blond man leaned closer. “We need some product.”

“Not gonna’ happen tonight.”

The man stood tall. “Why the hell not?” he growled.

Hendrix fisted the man’s sweatshirt and pinned him against the wall. “Because I don’t do business in front of clients you dumb son of a bitch.”

I cringed at Hendrix’s low and menacing tone. I didn’t realize I was backing away until Hendrix pinned me with his gaze. I stopped. My lip was quivering from not only the cold, but at the fear that I was officially screwed. No taxi was coming down the streets anytime soon and if I ran I’d be caught by one of those men or Hendrix…and both terrified me.

Hendrix shoved the man toward his companions. “Get the fuck out of here before I call Rizzo.”

“O—Okay man. We’re good.” The blonde held his hands up then turned away. “Let’s go.”

Without another word they disappeared down the alley.

Hendrix rested his arms against the wall and dropped his head between them.

A low growl rumbled his chest as a few words left his mouth that I couldn’t quite make out. But I assumed they were colorful ones.

Slowly, he turned his head and our eyes connected.

I stood like a statue, reluctant to move after what had happened. My lip quivered violently and the first round of tears slipped from my eyes and his hard gaze soften.

“Come here.” He pushed away from the wall and opened his arms.

I didn’t move.

The street lights illuminated the surroundings just enough for me to see the pain that settled on Hendrix face, but I stood there staring at him. I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my cheeks.

Unexpectedly, Hendrix closed the space between us and gently pulled me into his chest.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that. I shouldn’t have brought you down here; it’s not a place for someone like you.”

His words were soft and gentle as he spoke against the shell of my ear.

“Let’s go inside so we aren’t standing here freezing to death any longer, okay?”

I nodded as I sniffled.

His hands made soothing circles against my back as he hugged me tightly once more before he reached for the door.

After everything that had transpired, I was nervous about what lay on the other side of the door. Visions of the place being a torture house, crack house, and whore house bounced around in my head. Even if the thought of Hendrix taking me to any of those places didn’t make sense, there was still a lot more to him than the person I knew. Barely knew actually. Slowly I was getting a glimpse at these other sides of him, but what I really needed was a full on look into his world.

The door opened to a long dimly lit hallway that was ten kinds of creepy. The once white paint was yellowing and peeling from the walls. Hanging in the center of the hallway was a single, naked light bulb—like one you see in horror movies that flicker off and on at the worst times. I was silently praying it wouldn’t do that.

Oddly enough, there weren’t very many doors throughout the hallway, only two on the left side at the end and a set of double doors on the right. Hendrix stopped at the double doors and gave me a small nervous smile before opening one of them. The room was huge, but dark, as we stepped inside. I could see bulking odd shaped objects sitting all around the room, but couldn’t tell what they were. He flipped two switches, bringing track lights to life throughout the large space.

I was reminded me of an old warehouse littered with worn-out and broken items. Dingy painting sheets covered another assortment of oddly shaped items.

He pulled a dusty sheet off of one of the hulking objects close to the entrance.

I pushed my hoodie off my head and focused on fused pieces of shattered glass and buttons. I stepped back to look at the object as whole and realized I was looking at a work of art. Things other people would call trash had been arranged to create a uniquely beautiful butterfly with its wings spread wide.

“What is this place?” I asked in awe.

“My studio.”

I gasped and spun to face Hendrix. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

His deep voice sent a shiver down my spine.

He grinned and pulled another sheet free.

I feathered my fingers across an old cracked window frame splattered with dark blue and orange paint. What made me catch my breath were the large white feathers arranged like angel wings with one black feather stuck in the midst of them. I barely had time to take this equally stunning piece before he revealed another…and another.

Once I reached the open area in the center of the room, I realized what all the cluttered areas were, individual projects. All the items were things most people would throw away—a broken bike, shattered stained glass, a jar full of buttons, cans of paint in different shades, strands of lights, and so on. Amazement settled into my bones as I turned in a circle taking in what was all around me. I hadn’t expected this from Hendrix, not even close.

He stepped up behind me and the warmth from his body enveloped my own.

“Say something,” he said.

His breath danced across my bare neck.

I turned to face Hendrix and the moment our gazes met, something inside of me melted. The unsure and scared little girl disappeared as I drank in the insecurity in his eyes.

“It’s amazing,” I whispered then palmed the back of his neck and brought our lips together in a tangle of emotions that had us both gasping for air once we pulled apart.

Suddenly I realized I had fallen head over heels into an emotional relationship with Hendrix. He was a lonely soul searching for someone to fill the void in his life, and I desperately wanted to be that someone, but I barely knew him. Did that make me wild and reckless? Most likely, but I couldn’t keep my feelings at bay when we were around one another.

To distract myself from my realization, I asked, “Why don’t you put these on display somewhere?”

Hendrix rocked back on his heels and ran a hand through his hair, releasing the curly locks from the bun which secured them. The dark curls fell haphazardly, almost touching his shoulders. I wasn’t one to like long hair on guys, but he pulled it off better than anyone I had ever seen. Maybe it was the mysteriousness about him, or maybe it was the sex appeal he oozed. Whatever it was, I couldn’t get enough.

“Nobody would want this crap.” He sliced his hand through the air.

I suspected he had darkness inside him due to his past, a darkness that needed to be brought to the light. The uneasy and nervous side of him as he showed me around his studio was the part of him that loved and held so much passion. That was the part of Hendrix that needed to be set free, not the stoner he portrayed at parties, but the artist deep in his soul.

He turned away and stared at the large blank canvas near us. I smiled at the clean white board as I thought about how irony of that clean canvas in a room of broken and discarded things. The pristine state of the canvas was like a breath of fresh air in a smoke filled bar, or a single daisy that had bloomed during the chill of the night.

I latched onto his bicep, stopping him from leaving me standing there alone. As he looked over his shoulder, his eyes dropped to my hand.

“This isn’t crap, Hendrix. They’re beauty created from broken and destroyed things. Kind of like a Phoenix being reborn from the ashes of it’s past. This art you’ve created is breathtaking and so different. People should see this!” I smiled widely and cupped his scruffy face.

At the intense look in his eyes, I wondered if I should have said what I did, but I couldn’t take it back, nor would I if I had the chance. He needed a push in the right direction. Away from the drugs and toward the beauty he was creating behind the rusty red door.

Hendrix shook his head as he exhaled. “I swear…” he growled just before his lips found mine.

He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I fisted my hands into his curls. A moan slipped from my mouth only to be swallowed by him.

The ground moved beneath us and I realized he was carrying me toward the back of the studio. But my attention didn’t stay on our movements long because his mouth moved down the column of my neck, nipping as he went. My chest was heaving once he lips found mine again. Our tongues danced with one another, mine rubbing the smooth skin inside his lower lip. The remnants of smoke with a faint hint of spearmint burst onto my taste buds with each roll of my tongue into his mouth and his into mine.

Hendrix lowered me until my body molded to the comfort of the mattress beneath it. I didn’t bother scanning the room to see my surroundings, because all I cared about was the man before me. The deep blue of his eyes swirled with charcoal grey as he hovered over me.

My heart slammed hard within my chest as one of his hands slipped beneath not only the hoodie I was wearing but the T-shirt as well. His warm hand gently smoothed across my stomach, around my ribcage, and up my side stopping just beneath my bra line.

A chill danced across my skin, but I wanted him to touch me.

My body craved his touch so badly that my core pulsed from the anticipation of having him in places I had never had anyone. But was I ready for that? Was I ready to give myself over to someone without being able to take it back if things went south?

I pushed the thoughts from my head as Hendrix rested his forehead against mine, his heavy breaths mimicking my own.

“I want you more than life itself.”

His admittance had me squeezing my thighs against his sides. I felt his arousal pressing against the apex of my thighs and I moaned. I sucked his plump bottom lip into my mouth then scrapped my teeth across it. His hand slipped beneath the cup of my bra and my body bucked from the unexpected feel of his palm against my naked breast.