Graceful Ashes (11 page)

As I washed my hands I caught a glimpse of myself in the horribly lit mirror. My eyes were bloodshot from the alcohol and a frown pulled my lips opposite their usual direction.

I dried my hands and tossed the paper towels into the trashcan beside the door as I exited. The sound of a familiar voice stopped me dead in my tracks. Hendrix.

With my back against the door, I eased forward so it would shut without a sound while as All I could make out through the crack in the door marked private was Hendrix’s profile. My heart was thumped wildly within its cage in my chest as I slouched against the door and listened to the conversation.

A man I couldn’t see asked, “If we front you more product, how long will it take for you to move it?”

Hendrix scratched his five o’clock shadowed chin then leaned back in his chair where I could no longer see him.

“I’d say a couple weeks at the most. Some guys were asking about being hooked up a couple days back. I’d say they would jump on the chance to get their hands dirty.”

He came into view again as he leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs. What I’d heard wasn’t meant for my ears…probably no one’s except whoever was in that room, but I couldn’t force myself to take my ass back to the table where my drink and Clara were waiting.

“What information did you give them?” the faceless man asked.

“The bare minimum. I told them I’d be in contact whenever I had it in my possession.”

“Good.”

His stern one word response sent chills down my spine.

I wasn’t dumb. From the sounds of the conversation, Hendrix was deeper into drugs than just marijuana, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about finding out by overhearing a conversation between him and a man I didn’t know.

My foot slipped and I fell back against the bathroom door, causing it to rock against its frame. Hendrix’s gaze narrowed on the crack in the door then connected with mine. I stood there wide-eyed as he took me in. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to explode. I heard chair squeak in the now silent room, but Hendrix wasn’t moving. My flight instinct kicked in, but I was frozen where I stood.

Hendrix lifted his chin slightly which I read to either run or hide in the restroom. I took off in the direction of the party. The sound of heavy footsteps behind me sent me into a panic and when I reached the table where Clara was perched I collided with her chair. My chest heaved from the exertion and I grabbed my drink and chugged it.

“We need to go.” I spoke so that only Clara could hear me as my gaze searched the room.

“What?”

Clara looked confused by my sudden outburst of what she must think was insanity.

“Hendrix!” she said.

Strong hands gripped my waist.

“We need to talk.”

Hendrix’s deep voice vibrated against the shell of my ear, forcing my eyes to close, and I sighed from a mixture of the alcohol pulsing through my veins and his close proximity.

“Okay.” My sudden dry throat made the word sound raw.

“Yeah, we need to talk!” Clara piped up.

He meant only me and him, but before he spoke before I could.

“I need to talk to Zoey alone.” Hendrix clarified.

I focused on Clara, not wanting to risk looking at him.

“Oh.” Clara’s eyebrows dipped low as her gaze connected with mine.

She was trying to read me, to see what had happened during my restroom trip. I couldn’t tell her unless she was damn good at reading minds. Last I knew that wasn’t one of her strong suits.

Hendrix breath blew against my ear as he spoke quietly. “Follow me.” His hand grazed down my arm until his fingers threaded through mine and I followed slightly behind him as we wove through the dancing crowd and passed the orgy couches.

“Where are we going?”

Hendrix didn’t bother answering as he pulled me along to an area behind the staircase. He opened a door and motioned for me to go inside. The room was tiny with metal racks lining the three walls. Each one was filled with containers of supplies.

He peeked out the door then shut it.

The room was pitch dark and I reached for the string I had seen hanging from the single light bulb. I clicked on the light to find. Hendrix standing directly in front of me with his eyes squeezed shut. Worry was displayed on his face and his hands rested on his hips like an upset woman.

His chest rose as he sucked in a deep breath. He held it for a few seconds before slowly exhaling.

I didn’t dare speak as I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to say something…anything. But the seconds seemed like hours as they ticked by. Finally, I couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“Hendrix?”

His eyes snapped open as if the sound of his name had pulled him back to the situation at hand. The intensity of his gaze had me sucking in a sharp breath. He ran a hand through his disheveled curls and let out a frustrated groan.

“I—” He was silent for a brief moment. “What you heard.” He shook his head and huffed. “Fuck.” His gaze dropped from mine to the concrete floor.

I could only imagine his internal battle over what to say to me. I hated that I’d put him in such a predicament, but I also hated that he hadn’t been one hundred percent honest with me. Being told that he smoked marijuana and even sold it occasionally was one thing, but what I’d heard led me to believe he was dealing a lot more than occasionally and something other than marijuana. “Just tell me.” I whispered.

Hendrix’s stormy eyes connected with mine again as his hands dropped to his sides. “You can’t repeat what I’m about to tell you…or what you heard back by the bathrooms.”

“I won’t.”

“I mean it, Zoey. I can’t—the thought of you being pulled into this.” He paused and ran a hand through his hair, fisting a handful of curls as he groaned.

I took a step forward and placed a hand on his fist, hoping he would release his hair and calm down. “It’ll be okay.” I spoke softly, knowing I couldn’t be hundred percent sure of that because whatever he needed to tell me might be a deal breaker, but I had to say something so he would talk to me.

Hendrix let go of his hair and linked our hands. “I survive by selling drugs.”

I jerked like he had slapped me. Hearing him say what I had assumed was a lot harder than I had anticipated. My lungs burned from the breath leaving me. I dropped his hand and stepped back until I was flush with the metal rack.

“Zoey…,” he said softly as he took a step forward.

“I—I’m sorry.” I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

His eyebrows furrowed. “What are you sorry for?”

The pleading in his eyes pierced my very soul.

“What do you sale, Hendrix?” I went straight to the point.

His face contorted like I was torturing him. He didn’t want to give me that information, but I we weren’t leaving the storage room until he did.

“Cocaine.”

If I hadn’t been paying attention, I wouldn’t have heard his admission because of how quietly he said it. My heart squeezing in my chest at the look of disappointment on his face had. He was just as hurt by admitting what he does for a living, as I was hearing it.

I took a step forward and cupped his face. “Why would you waste your talent by selling cocaine and other drugs, Hendrix? You’re so much better than that.”

Thick emotions wrapped around my throat. Hendrix was an outlaw. Did he think he wasn’t good enough to make an honest living? That he had turn to living outside the law to survive? Someone needed to show him that wasn’t the case.

Maybe I could be that someone.

“It’s not that simple.” Hendrix jerked his head from my hands and turned away.

“It
is
that simple,” I argued.

A humorless laugh erupted from him as he turned and stalked toward me.

I backed up until I knocked against the metal rack.

“You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, Zoey. You haven’t had to live a life like mine. You were handed a silver spoon from a young age, I wasn’t!” he spat. “It’s easy for someone like
you
to say that it’s simple to walk away from doing what I do, but it’s not!”

“Someone like
me
?” My voice shook from the abundance of emotions pulsing through my body. “What does that even mean!”

“Your entire life was laid out before you could even drive. Most aren’t that lucky.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Hendrix was acting like my life had been rainbows and Care Bears when in reality I’d dealt with so much pain growing up. Yes, I had been fortunate enough to get a scholarship to attend the college of my dreams and perform in front of hundreds of people doing the thing I loved the most, dancing. But that didn’t give him the right to act like I was handed an easier life than he was. That didn’t give him the right to talk down to me like I was someone who walked around with a chip on my shoulder, and portrayed myself to be better than anyone else because I sure as hell didn’t.

I’d spent most of my life being alone. Yeah, I had friends when I was younger, but as the years passed those people faded out of my life. Dancing was the only thing that kept me grounded and held a spot within me where I didn’t have to worry about fading away like my friendships had. And over the years I learned that friends weren’t meant to be a part of my life. I had my brother Talon and his wife Tegan to turn to if need be, I didn’t need anyone else. No matter how much I yearned for a close girlfriend to confide in, or a boyfriend who would love me unconditionally. But those things had never happened, and from the looks of things…they might not ever happen. What I hoped was a relationship blossoming between me and Hendrix was actually something on the verge of crashing and burning before the wild fire could even spark a flame.

I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back so that I could reach the door. “I need to get out of here.”

As soon as my hand touched the doorknob, the door was jerked open. I almost face planted the concrete floor, but whoever had yanked open the door caught me in the midst of my fall. My gaze connected with the dark green eyes of the guy Clara and I had been calling Fabio all night.

“Easy there.”

The intensity of his deep voice stretched my already ran nerves.

“S—sorry. I was just leaving.” I stood tall and swooped a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Getting a piece of ass in the storage room are we, Drix?” Fabio drug his eyes down the length of my body and back up again.

“You know me.”

Hendrix’s reply knocked me for a loop. I shot him a look that would’ve slayed him if looks could kill. But his eyes weren’t fixated on me; they were locked on Fabio with an intense glare.

“Excuse me,” I spat as I moved past Fabio without giving Hendrix the chance to say another word.

My head was foggy from the alcohol and my nerves raw from the argument with Hendrix. An aching set up in my chest at his words and thoughts about me. I had seen a side of him I didn’t know existed. What if these were his true colors shining through the wool he’d pulled over my eyes?

I spotted Clara standing by the staircase smiling widely at something a tall shaggy auburn haired guy was saying. Of course she’d found a guy to chat up, I wouldn’t have expected anything less from her. A smile tipped up the corners of my lips and I shook away my troubling thoughts as I stopped beside her.

“There you are!” she said.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be gone so long.”

Clara’s smile faded as a crease formed between her eyebrows. “Everything okay?”

I shrugged, hoping she would understand that I didn’t want to talk about it.

She gave me a small nod, her eyes saying we’d talk later and waved to the man beside her.

“Zoey, this is Adam. He’s new to the area and friends with one of the guys who runs this place.”

I gave Adam a smile that didn’t quite touch my eyes. “Nice to meet you.”

He extended his hand. “You too.”

A mega-watt perfectly straight pearly white smile spread across his chiseled face.

He looked like someone who stepped out of a fitness catalog. Strong shoulders with bulging muscles covered by a thin navy blue shirt, thick legs that were covered in dark wash jeans hanging perfectly on his hips. If Hendrix hadn’t already had my heart, I would’ve jumped on him in a heartbeat, and that wasn’t my usual style. Who was I kidding…I didn’t have any kind of usual style when it came to men. Hendrix had come into my life out of nowhere and thrown everything off kilter.

“Zoey?”

Concern filled Clara’s features as she watched me.

“What?” I asked.

“I asked if Hendrix was going to be joining us.” She took a sip of her drink.

“I’m actually ready to head out. If you’re not, that’s fine. I can catch a cab.”

The frown that reversed her smile made me feel bad for wanting to leave. I knew how much Clara lived for parties, and the fact that she had met a guy while I was off arguing with Hendrix only made it harder for her to leave.

“Not having fun?” Adam asked.