Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg, Special Collector's Edition (31 page)

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Authors: Barry Williams;Chris Kreski

BOOK: Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg, Special Collector's Edition

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Casting directors refused to see any of us as anything but
Bradys, and that had left us kids just about unemployable.

I think it was Bruce Willis who once said that "television
devours actors at about the same rate whales devour plankton." I
think he lowballed it.

Now every one of us Bradys was squashed between the same
rock and the same hard place. Do you retain your integrity, refuse to re-up as a Brady, and face the future hoping that you can hang
on long enough to exorcise the Brady demons from the soul of
your career? Or do you take advantage of the opportunity laid at
your feet, make a few bucks, and worry about the consequences
later?

Almost unanimously, we chose to sever our ties with the
Bunch. But when Paramount chose to get "persuasive" ($$$),
every one of us caved in and re-enlisted.

The film would mark the one and only time all nine of us original Brady Bunchers would reunite in our entirety. Eve had wisely
steered herself clear of the "Variety Hour"; Susan's honeymoon
would keep her away from Brady Christmas; and Maureen would
later bail out of "The Bradys," saying, "I simply felt it was time to
move on."

But for now, all nine of us were ready to do the big-happyfamily thing one more time. Sherwood Schwartz recollects that
Robert Reed even went so far as to loudly proclaim during contract
talks that "nobody is going to give my Brady girls away but me!"

So now a little older, a little wiser, and a little less enthusiastic,
the Bradys were once again gathered together on a soundstage,
ready to take a stab at reviving the Bunch. The lights came on, the
cameras rolled, Bob Reed grumbled about the lousy script ... it
was just like old times.

Only now the girls were married. The story:

Jan is all set to marry a tight-assed college professor named
Philip Covington III, and Marcia makes it a double when she
decides to marry the fun-loving, irresponsible Wally Logan. All of
the Bradys reunite for the wedding, wish the newlyweds well, and
then blend into the wallpaper as the two couples spend the last
half-hour buying a house ... together. In the end, this "odd
quadruple" buys that dream house, finds that their old pal Alice
lives just down the street, and they've got themselves a sitcom.

It was simple stuff, standard, formulaic, kinda funny, likable, and
it would have made a great TV movie. But that never happened.
Shortly before we began shooting, NBC in its infinite wisdom
decided that they didn't want to marry off the Brady girls in a
ninety-minute blowout, and that three thirty-minute "specials"
would suit their needs much better.

So that's what they did. "The Brady Girls Get Married" aired on
three consecutive Friday nights in 1981, scored very impressively
in the overnights, and quickly became a series. Of course, with the
double wedding behind them, the newlyweds needed a new title.
Thus, "The Brady Brides" was born.

They'd live thirteen weeks before succumbing to bombitis.

So now, the Brady Bunch had gone under a third time, and the clean-cut clan was hovering in a vegetative, brain-dead (so what
else is new?), coma. The end seemed inevitable.

"The Brady
Brides."
(© Paramount
Pictures)

But a Christmas miracle would change all that.

his was a monster.

This was HUGE!

This was the second-highest-rated TV movie of 1988.

A Very Brady Christmas, was the biggest success in
the history of the Brady Bunch, but it sure didn't start out that way.
With the encouragement of Paramount, CBS, and the Schwartzes,
we all screwed on our Brady faces once more and reassembled on
the Paramount lot with the joy of seeing old pals, glowing all over
the place. We were laughing, hugging, joking about the film's
extremely corny storyline, and all over the set there was an air of
pleasant camaraderie. Even Robert Reed and the Schwartzes had
(at least temporarily) buried the hatchet, meeting before production ever began to hammer out any differences they might face in
shooting the Christmas extravaganza.

The only glaring omission to our family reunion was that of
Susan Olsen-our youngest one, no longer in curls. In 1988, Susan
had long since left her teenage years behind, and was a grown-up,
engaged-to-be-married woman.

It has always proved a formidable task to assemble all of the
Bradys for a project, and A Very Brady Christmas was no exception. None of us sits around waiting for the next Brady-related project to arrive. When they do, we listen to the ideas, check our
schedules, and get the wheels of negotiation in motion.

Each of us was approached to be a part of A Very Brady
Christmas. To the studio's credit, a lot of effort was put into bringing all of us on board. At some point, however, we seemed to be
reduced to commodities. It wasn't long before phrases like "as long
as we get five out of six kids," or "seven out of nine will work" were
being bandied about. Offers and counter-offers passed back and
forth, with each representative vying for the highest possible payday.

Admittedly, it was hard enough for the production team to get
those of us who liked the idea to agree. Those who were somewhat reluctant made the process a real challenge. Our three very
lovely girls, Maureen, Eve and Susan, created their own united
front to insure the most profitable end. With all the chipping away
on the part of the studio, eventually something had to give.
Ultimately, Eve and Maureen had their demands met.. .because of
Susan. Here's how Susan tells the story:

"I wasn't too thrilled about being in A Very Brady Christmas. I
had already been planning my honeymoon, and the idea of chasing the spirit of Bob Marley around Jamaica with my new husband
seemed like more fun than another reunion, especially because I
didn't feel the negotiations were fair.

"I understood the studio was treating my TV sisters differently
because of their involvement with "The Brady Brides" series. I
wasn't asking for as much as they were, yet all of us were unhappy
with the offers. They actually came close to my salary demands,
but refused to budge for Eve and Maureen. Sort of as a joke, I said
to my agent `why don't you just tell the studio to take my salary
and split it between the two of them.' To their credit, both Eve and
Maureen called me and offered to back down if it meant I'd do the
show. I told them `we're all adults here, I'll just go after what I
think is fair.'

"So then came the really rotten part. I never heard from the studio again. No final offer. No take it-or-leave-it. Instead, my agent
called with the news that an ad was running in the trades for a
Cindy Brady look alike."

Susan today.
(Courtesy of
Susan Olsen)