Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg, Special Collector's Edition (34 page)

It was around this time that I was writing Growing Up Brady. I
invited Bob to write the foreword, a task that he took on gladly
and conscientiously. I went to his home in Pasadena to interview
him, where he spent the better part of a day knocking me out of
my chair with a lot of the stories you read here. He also dug
through his attic, unexpectedly presenting me with all of the original "poison-typewriter" memos that he circulated throughout the
offices of Paramount and ABC. I will never forget how much fun
we had together that day; reminiscing, laughing and recounting
the history we shared as people and as Bradys. Sadly, it was the last
time I saw him alive.

Over the course of the next year, I was starring in the national
tour of City of Angels. As Bob's condition worsened and his treatment became more intensive, we kept in touch via the telephone;
he wasn't too keen on visitors at that point. I also kept in close
contact with his good friend Anne Haney, who had been taking
care of him. I asked her if Bob had a chance to read the book. She
said he had and that he'd enjoyed it immensely, but he had one
question: Had he really been that difficult? Anne assured him that
he had.

I spoke with Bob two days before he passed away and, thankfully, had a chance to say good-bye to him. I was talking with Anne,
via phone from Chicago, when a call came from the hospital with
the news of Bob's passing. That was the evening of May 12, 1992. I
spent the better part of that night calling the Bunch to let them
know the sad news.

Perhaps the most difficult aspect of dealing with the loss of Bob
was the miserable way the tabloids chose to report on it. Here was
a man who was a classically trained actor, highly talented and
hugely respected by his peers, an Emmy Award nominee with a list
of credits as long as my arm. The private life he had so carefully guarded was now being distorted by dramatized headlines.
Headlines like "Brady Dad Dies of AIDS" set the tone for stories
that ignored his life's accomplishments but brought forth the very
things he sought to keep to himself. It was very hurtful to have his
public obituary reduced to a few lines of sensationalized fodder in
order to sell papers. I guess that's show biz.

Bob's passing left a void in our group. It seemed natural for me
to step in and attempt to pick up the slack. While I was traveling
on my Broadway and Growing Up Brady tours, I made the arrangements for Bob's memorial service.

It was the first time most of us had seen each other since "The
Bradys" almost two years earlier, and it was a difficult day to deal
with. The memorial was held at an Episcopal church near Bob's
home in Pasadena. Florence had graciously offered to sing, which
was especially touching, considering how much Bob liked
Florence's voice. To our dismay, we were told that singing was
against church policy and no exceptions were to be made.

This was an emotional reunion for all of us. We chose not to sit
together at the service, though we were all joined spiritually. I
spoke to the gathering of family and friends, sharing memories
and experiences that showed how much we all appreciated Bob.
Later, we met across the street for a reception at the Pasadena
Playhouse, a fitting location, away from the peeping lenses of the
tabloid cameras. Brady reunions had always been happy ones,
spurred on by a wedding, talk show appearance, or work. In this
case, there was an unfamiliar sorrow as the reality of the situation
sunk in. However, it felt good to share our feelings, to laugh a little
and to cry.

We were reminded of a couple of things that day: how much
we cared for Bob, and how much we all cared for each other.

y now you undoubtedly realize that the five prime-time
seasons of "The Brady Bunch" were just the tip of a massive, far-out iceberg. When all is added up, the Bradys hit
the airwaves with five different television series, two
reunion movies, and five TV specials devoted to exploring the
underbelly of the beast (and its cast, creators, and characters). We
Bradys have the unique distinction of having been on each of the
three major networks in prime time. And, in addition to television,
we've been represented on the stage as well as in print, feature
films, animation and on record albums. There are toys, games,
comic books, and bubble-gum cards and-for the hard-core collector, anatomically incorrect Greg and Marcia dolls as well as the
obligatory Brady lunchpail.

The coveted
Brady Bunch
lunchpail
(Courtesy of
Wendy Winans)

The big screen
"Bunch"
(© Paramount
Pictures)

"The Brady Bunch" has been the source of countless references
in music, comedy, pop culture, and politics; the term "Brady
Bunch" has entered the American vernacular as a metaphor for
"square and wholesome." Additionally, in some circles, the phrase
"have a very Brady day" is uttered more frequently than the '70s
mantra, "have a nice day." Will Smith rapped about "bell-bottom,
Brady Bunch trousers" in his hit "Parents Just Don't Understand";
Christina Ricci had a Brady Bunch LP on her dresser in the movie
Now and Then, and Former President George Bush reported, in
1992, that "the last time interest rates were this low, `The Brady
Bunch' wasn't even in reruns yet.

A brilliant parody of "The Brady Bunch" on the short-lived sitcom "Day By Day" had everyone who saw it in stitches. (Was that
really Courtney Thorne-Smith and Julia Louie Dreyfuss doing the
"Bears" cheer?) A stage play called The Real Live Brady Bunch
brought closet Bunchies out in droves to see word-for-word reenactments of their favorite Brady episodes live, on stage. When
actress Melanie Hutsel, who played Jan Brady in The Real Live
Brady Bunch, joined the cast of "Saturday Night Live," she brought
a new model of Jan Brady into the public eye. Catch phrases like
"Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" were suddenly and permanently on the
lips of everyone from housewives and college students to commentators at the O.J. Simpson trial. No joke!

Another major milestone in our story was the production of
two Brady Bunch feature films. As you may expect, I'm often asked
my opinion of both The Brady Bunch Movie and its not-too-cleverly titled follow-up, A Very Brady Sequel. So let's go to the movies.

If I'm going to say anything good about them, I'll have to con fine my comments to the first film because, in my never-so-humble
opinion, the sequel sucked. The Brady Bunch Movie is watchable,
and there's a good chance you might like the fish-out-of-water storyline without the benefit of much Brady knowledge. You won't
get the multitudinous references to the series, but it works, and it
is kinda funny.

Like most motion pictures based on TV shows (remember
when it was the other way around?), The Brady Bunch Movie
vaguely resembles the original series-there are still six kids, two
parents, a maid, and a familiar-looking house, but that's about it. I
think that Sherwood Schwartz's worst nightmare came true
regarding the treatment of his characters. Sherwood had gone out
of his way to let Greg, Jan, Marcia and the rest be reasonably real
people in somewhat contrived circumstances. For these movies,
they were reduced to one-dimensional, cardboard cutouts with
exaggerated, buffoon-like qualities. (Gee... am I starting to sound
like Robert Reed?)

Sherwood has described his involvement in the development
and production of the movies (or lack thereof) as the worst experience of his professional career. The studio decision-makers had
their own ideas about the direction that the scripts and characters
would take, which had little to do with Sherwood's vision. In the
end, he essentially had only veto power.

It's fun to imagine "what if..." when it comes to the movies.
There were a number of variations considered up front, like
Goldie Hawn as Mom and Charles Grodin as Dad. Or, better yet,
what about yours truly as Mike Brady? How about Gwyneth
Paltrow as Marcia? Calista Flockhart as Jan? Reese Witherspoon as
Cindy? Janeane Garofalo as Alice? In the end, despite all the possibilities, the "new and improved" Bradys were neither. Sherwood
was given a big, fat, producer credit along with his big, fat, paycheck, but virtually no creative input. Ah, the wisdom of
Hollywood movie executives.

The movie was made on a modest budget, under $20 million.
What that means in this era of hugely inflated production costs is
that everyone got their own dressing room and everyone got fed,
but not much more. Producers did prove wise in hiring "Hill Street
Blues" veteran Betty Thomas to direct. She had a clear grasp of the
project, and created a lighthearted '70s-as-seen-through-the-eyes-
of-the-'90s farce. Her casting choices were good: Shelley Long
made a fine Carol and Gary Cole, while not looking a heck of a lot
like Mike Brady, sure sounded like him. Personally, I thought it
was the delicious portrayal of Marcia by Christine Taylor that stole
the show. I guess for me it's still "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia." But,
when it came to Greg, I have to say I'm still a bit miffed. It's entire ly possible that I am too close to make a fair judgment, but I always
thought of Greg as at least kind of cool. After watching The Brady
Bunch Movie, I'm not so sure. I thought Greg was always pretty
suave and lived up to his "Casanova of Clinton Avenue" rep. This
new Greg was scripted as a clueless geek. Ouch! I think I'd rather
live in the past!