Hard to Love (3 page)

I wasn’t about to fuck some girl
who
was terrified of me. Sorry, not a turn
-
on. Rick had assumed it was a performance issue, and stupidly I’d accepted the pills from him
rather than explaining
why
I didn’t want to go through with it
.
E
ventually
I
had to
man up and explain
the situation
to him
, but not before the damage was done
.

“So, you’re a porn star?”
Alexa
asked, her eyes flicking up to mine briefly before darting away again.

She was as nervous as a field mouse in a stampede. “
Does
that
bother
you?” I bluffed. She didn’t need to know that this was my first ever film and I hadn’t even followed through. Besides, she’d already judged me
.
N
o sense in trying to defend my honor.

Her eyes met mine again and held. “No.” Her voice sounded sure, but I couldn’t help
noticing
the blush
creeping
up her neck
to
color
her cheeks.
I wouldn’t be all that surprised to learn she was a virgin
,
with how self-conscious and unsure
of herself
she was.
All the more reason to stay the hell away from her.

Watching her work, her small hands moving about to care for me stirred something inside. It’d been a long time sin
ce
someone
had taken care of me.

The doctor
strode into the room
—
male, late-forties, and strait
-
laced, which put me at ease.

After covering the basics
—
that I’d taken two of little blue pills
even though
only
one
was recommended and yes, I’d been fully erect going on four and half hou
rs now
—
t
he doctor, thankfully, got right down to business
, opening my robe.
The swollen appendage jutted out in front of m
e
, proudly saluting the doctor and
Alexa
.

“There he is!” Rick beamed proudly. This dude was twisted. Why the
hell
was he so interested in my cock? Sure it was above average, I knew that much. After Rick had approached me about starring in one of his movies, I’d looked up the statistics online and measured myself, just out of
curiosity. It was much larger than average
according to what I’d read online.
But still, his interest was creepy. I reminded myself
that he dealt with the human body all day long and
that he was just thinking about the money I could make him when he looked at it,
b
ut
that
didn’t
mean I
like
d
another man eyeing my dick
with such enthusiasm
.

My eyes flicked up to watch Alexa’s expression.
Bad fucking idea.
Her mouth had dropped open, and her chest was heaving with shallow breaths. I practically felt her gaze caressing me.

“Is he family?”
the doctor asked, gingerly inspecting me.

“Nope.”

The doctor tipped his head to the door
, motioning to Rick
. “Would you mind stepping out of the room, sir?”

“Sure thing, Doc.”
Rick nodded. “I’m out of here just as soon as you tell me the
re
’ll be no permanent damage to the money maker.”

The doctor looked up at him, not amused. “He’ll live
. N
ow please go.”

Apparently satisfied by the doctor’s answer, Rick gave me a wink, patted my shoulder and exited the room
.

“So
how exactly do you treat this
?” I was almost afraid to ask.

Alexa
’s eyes shifted to the floor, like she knew
I wasn’t going to like the answer.
Not good.

“I’m going to give you a dose of
medicine
—
a combination of a steroid and a muscle relaxant to see if that will
return things to normal
. You’ll take these orally and we’ll wait about thirty minutes. If that doesn’t work, I may have to insert a thin needle into the shaft and extract blood manually.”
The doctor made a few notes in my file and left the room.

I swallowed down a lump in my throat. Th
e
fucking pills
had to
work. I
wouldn’t
be able to
handle
him bringing a needle anywhere near my dick without
punching
the poor guy
in the face
. 

Alexa
returned a few minutes later with a tiny plastic cup containing two pills and a cup of water for me. I downed the p
ills and water in a single gulp.
Once again, s
he arranged the ice pack on my lap
,
her hand brushing against my dick, which made it jump.
I saw her bite
her lip to avoid smiling
.

“Thanks,” I muttered, passing the cup back to her.

“You’re welcome.
Sit tight and I’ll be back to check your progress in a little while.
”

I’d never been so happy to go soft in my entire life, but twenty minutes later my erection slackened
and
I hop
p
ed down from the
exam
table and began dress
ing
. Just as I was pulling
on
my jeans,
Alexa
came back to check on me.

The look of surprise on her face stopped me short.

“I think I’m good to go,” I explained.

Her eyes travelled down the length of my body, stopping once they reached the
no-longer
-
straining
bulge in my jeans. “Oh.”

“Thanks for everything.” I grabbed my jacket from the chair, and started past her. Her hands darted out and pressed against my chest. “You can’t just leave. Dr. Chancellor wanted to um…talk with you, about your, um, lifestyle. And see if we could
offer
STD testing.”

I laughed. “Thanks
anyway
, but I’m good.” I
barely
had time to date, let alone have sex,
but when I did
I always used a condom.
Not to mention that Rick insisted I get tested as an agreement to work for him.
All I wanted to do
now
was get home, check on
Lily
, and forget this whole night
ever happened
.
“Okay. Be safe,” she sa
id
, and stepped out of the way as I
fled past her, ready to
put
the whole experience
behind me.

Chapter 2

Alexa

When I
woke
and fumble
d for my cell phone
to check the time
, I was
shocked to discover it
wa
s already four in the afternoon.  I stretch
ed
and fl
u
ng back my duvet, sighing because despite the late hour, my body
wa
s
so
not ready to leave my heavenly soft
pillowtop
.

Working the mid
night shift was
wreaking havoc
with my system.
Each night I
worked t
he late shift, I wo
ke later and later in the afternoon. At least I
had
tonight off
—
it
was
my twenty-first birthday, and I
was g
o
ing
out with friends
later
.
I
could
only imagine what
MacKenzie
ha
d
plan
ned. That girl,
though
I
consider
ed
her my best
friend
in nursing school, was
trouble with a capital T.

I s
a
t down at my vanity and brush
ed
out my hair. The bags under my eyes need
ed
attention too, so I do
t
t
ed
on
some eye cream before securing my hair back in
a
ponytail.

My parents didn’t understand why I worked so hard. Money certainly wasn’t the motivator—my family had more than we’d ever spend in a lifetime
—
but I wanted something more for myself. Something I was good at and kept me busy. Their only goal for me was to meet a wealthy
,
well-bred man and become some sort of
Stepford
Wife, a desire we did not share.
A life like that
sounded incredibly boring to me. And if my mother’s afternoon combination of happy pills and wine-spritzers were any indication, it was a life spent unfulfilled. No thanks.

Once in the kitchen,
I slid a
coffee
pod
into the one-cup maker,
the
most used
appliance
in my kitchen since I rarely bothered to cook for one.
I c
ouldn’t help but think
back to
the previous
night, or more specifically, about
Cade. Well, I was
actually thinking of a certain p
art of his anatomy more than I was
anything else, and giggle
d
to myself. I’
d
seen a lot of strange things working the midnight shift in the emergency room, but that was one of the
more
memorable.

He was undeniably attractive,
and that was
even before I saw the python he was packing in his pants. He was tall and
ridiculously toned
from head to toe,
with a rugged face and strong jaw line. His nose had a slight ridge that indicated it had probably been broken at some point, and those rich chocolate eyes of his had been surrounded by thick, dark lashes.

He’d had the strangest effect on me. I’d never been attracted to a patient.
Ever.
It was my job, and I rarely noticed details about the actual person.
That statement sounded harsh
, but I saw
the people who came in and out of the hospital
as clinical objects
.
I only noticed the details I needed to do my job
—
like where there best vein line was to start an IV or draw blood, or calculating meds based on weight
—
standard things like that. But with him, I couldn’t focus on what I needed to
.
Instead,
I noticed how his dark eyes followed my every movement, the thick
ness of the
vein running up the length of his shaft, and
the tension in his body at his
obvious discomfort. I
also
noticed the tattoo peeking
out
from
the collar of
his T-shirt as if crawling up his neck. I wanted to see the rest of it,
even if the mere thought of that made my tummy erupt in nerves
. And I knew he could tell how frazzled I was with that
annoying
amused smirk tugging at his lips.

*****

When the doorbell chime
d
, I jog
ged
to the intercom panel to buzz
in
MacKenzie
and Tyson. I open
ed
my apartment door and f
ou
nd
MacKenzie
marching up the stairs, a brown paper sack f
illed with liquor bottles
in one hand
and
a
plastic
container
in
the other
. Tyson
wa
s carrying
a bouquet of pink roses.
Tyson was like a brother to me, but I wasn’t sure we were always on the same page.