Hard to Love (8 page)

I could also tell she was too prim and proper to let herself act
on
her unbidden desires. I knew her type
—
diamond
-
studded earrings, an expensive watch, and too
-
high expectations. Girls like that didn’t go for guys like me. No, they wanted some douche bag named Scott who was well-mannered and sat behind a desk all day, doing fuck knows what, but pulling in a nice
fat
paycheck every week.

She had the face of an angel
.
I hadn’t been able to resist brushing my fingers past her skin to see if she felt as soft as she looked. And when her eyes fluttered closed at my touch, my cock jerked in my jeans. I was twenty-two, not fifteen, but damn if my dick knew it. 

*****

“Mollie’s here. You’re going to fucking love her,” Rick assured me.

A
tall
,
thin
girl enter
ed
the room. She was built for sin
,
dressed in
a black garter belt, stockings, black lace bra and sky
-
high heels. Long red hair cascaded over her shoulders
and
down her back.

“Sebastian?” she asked
as she approached
.

“Nice to meet you.”
I offered her my hand.
I couldn’t believe I was actually going through
with it. But I had to
—
f
or my own stubborn male pride, not to mention the money.

She
looked wryly at my proffered hand and stepped in closer, sepa
rating any distance between us and
patted my naked chest.
“
Oh, you are fucking gorgeous, honey. This is going to be fun.”

I chuckled as a wave of shyness crested through me. I didn’t even know this girl’s real name
—
assuming it wasn’t Mollie
—
and I was about to fuck her
. But I figured
it
wasn’t much different than the
few
times I’d taken girls home from the bar without even knowing their last names. M
aybe
it felt different because I was sober. Oh, and because the
re was a
room full of people watching us.

“
Rick told me it’s your first time on film. Don’t worry about trying t
o
o hard. Just have fun. And
I
won’t
get off
with
all these people watching me, s
o don’t worry about that. It’ll still feel good to me, so just do your thing. Okay?”

I nodded. “You got it.” 
I liked her already.
From what I’d seen, she was going to be easy to work with
.

Rick’s production company prided itself on exploring the intimate side of sex, rather than being typical hard-core porn. In this scene, we were lovers who’d been separated for a long time. I was arriving home from a business trip
to find her waiting for me in lingerie.
I was
now
dressed in dress slacks, a shirt and tie to complete the scene. We bega
n
at
the front door, where the film crew captured a few initial scenes of us kissing.

Once
we’d filmed that
brief scene,
we
moved to the
bedroom, with full
-
on lights
and
sound crew
.
C
ameras
were
stationed around the room
, all pointing
directly
at the bed
.

Rick
busied
himself with the crew making sure everything was set the way he wanted it and then came back to stand in front of me and Mollie.
“We’re set to start rolling, so you two
going ahead and get started when you’re ready. We’re just here to capture your lovemaking as it happen
s. So let it be natural,”
he
told us.

I heard the telltale click of the
camera
recording and I moved
toward Mollie, then hesitated and
glanced down at my pants and the absence of
any bulge.
Not again. Th
e
fucker
had
better cooperate
this time
.

Noticing my
scowl
,
Mollie
followed my gaze
. Without a word, she
reached down and began rubbing me over the material of my
slacks
. “Sh.
No need to be nervous
,” she said softly.
“
Just relax. This is my job.” She leaned in to kiss me and I felt myse
lf relax. And even better, I fel
t my
dick
stir
to life
.
I kissed her back, adding some tongue until we were enthusiastically making out and the line between work and pleasure
was
definitely being
crossed
.

I moved her to the bed, un
hooking
her bra and tugging down her panties
as
we kissed.

And a few moments later, I was sinking inside her, all the standard foreplay I typically excelled at rendered unnecessary.
Mollie rode me like the
g
oddamn pro that she was, tossing her
hair
back and gripping my thighs as she
lifted
herself up and down on my cock.

I kept my
eyes trained on her,
needing to stay in
the
scene
and not look at the crew
who were glued to our performance. The strangeness of the whole situation ensured I wasn’t going to blow too soon
,
something I’d been a little
worried about
.

My mind drifted unconsciously to Alexa and the way she looked in that
little
sundress. Her sweet innocence coupled with that feisty mouth of hers left me
both
turned on
and confused
.
But I knew if I channeled my desire for Alexa into this performance, I would lose it. I opened my eyes and refocused on the girl in front of me.

Mollie moaned and gasped out h
igh
-
pitched screeches that sounded
incredibly
fake
. I was typically
qui
et during sex, preferring to hear the sounds of pleasure from the girl I was with, but her fake-sounding
,
over-the-top moans were
grating
on my nerves. Her screams built louder and I knew she was faking her orgasm. When
her screams
quieted
to soft cries, her fake
climax
complete
,
all
without any of the pleasure of feeling her pussy pulse around me
, I
pulled out and rolled her onto her stomach so I could
fuck her from behind
and finish this
in relative peace
.

Chapter 6

Alexa

Over the next several days,
I couldn’t get Cade out of my head no matter how hard I tried.
I
t didn’t help that I’
d visited
the porn website several times
after finding he now had a
video
clip
posted. I’d watched it numerous times, studying the ways his hands explored the girl’s body, and the rocking motion of his hips thrusting inside her
, and the expressions of pleasure on his chiseled features
. Each time
I’d
felt so dirty afterwards I’d had to scrub myself pink in the shower and bring some relief to my throbbing sexual need
,
all the while
promising
myself
I wouldn’t watch it again.

R
emember
ing
his
gentle nature with his sister
made me feel even worse
about
using him for my viewing pleasure. Yet I
still
couldn’t keep my promise
to myself
about not watching the video. It was becoming a nightly routine
, and had begun haunting my dreams
.
He still only had the one video
clip
, and I’d watched it so many times I now had it memorized. After realizing how silent Cade was, I watched it on mute from then on, not wanting to ruin it by listening to the girl’s annoying screams.

In the days that
follow
ed, my thoughts drift
ed
repeatedly
to Cade’s sweet little sister and the fierce determination that burned in her eyes. It broke my heart to realize they couldn’t afford physical therapy, and I inadvertently found myself visiting the
physical therapy wing to ask a few questions of the therapist. It turned out that the severity of
Lily’s
impairment could
range
from minor and not requiring much ongoing care
,
to severe
,
requiring
lifelong physical therapy
to
help with flexibility and discomfort.

I didn’t know which his sister had, but I had a pretty good notion that it was of the more serious nature, since she couldn’t walk unassisted. I’d watched as the therapist worked with another child on one of those giant exercise ball
s
and an idea planted itself firmly in my mind.

*****

“Are you
insane
?” MacKenzie thrust
the
third
paper cup of
vending-machine
coffee
of the night
at me. It was how we stayed awake and alert on the midnight shift.

I accepted the cup and dumped in a hefty dose of sugar, knowing
the beverage
needed it to make it drinkable. “
So s
ays the woman
who
thought
sleeping with him was
a good idea
.
That
would have been insane. I’m just talking about going to see him again. I can’t stop thinking about that little girl,
Kenz
.
And
about how
maybe I could help.”

She shook her head. “Is this like the time you went to drop off groceries to the homeless people under the bridge and nearly got abducted, or the time you volunteered at the animal shelter and
almost
got eaten by that pit bull?”

“No,” I grumbled. “This is nothing like that. I just want to drop by, check on them
—
I mean
her
—
and see how I
can
help. He said he couldn’t afford her physical therapy,
Kenz
. She deserves better.”

“News flash, you’re not a physical therapist
.
Y
ou’re a nursing student
,
Alexa.”

I tried a sip of the coffee, needing to get
the caffeine
in my system before my ten
-
minute break was over. Damn, still too hot. “Close enough. I’ll have to do. That is
,
if he’ll even accept the help.”

“And this has nothing to do with seeing Cade again?” She cocked an eyebrow up at me suspiciously.

I focused on my coffee, stirring in another spoonful of sugar just for good measure.

“Because all
that crap
about sleeping with him
?
I
was kidding
,
babe. You’re sweet and beautiful. You deserve someone
freakin
’
amazeballs
. Not some animal who sells his body for money.”

“
Amazeballs
?”
I questioned, looking up from my coffee.

“Ah-maze-balls,” she confirmed
with a straight face
.