Harvesting Acorns (10 page)

He
burst out of the room and ran to her mother. He showed her the picture and
swore it wasn’t true. She was as shocked as he was, she had not seen the
picture before, and Grace had not told her anything. She believed Joel, she had
known him most of his life and she knew how much he loved Grace. She had not
agreed with Grace when she had told her that she didn’t want to see him until
he had finished studying. She told Joel to calm down. She would get in touch
with Grace and explain to her. She would reason with her and get her to contact
him and hear his side of the story. She told him not to worry. She knew her
daughter loved him.

Nevertheless,
it was hard not to worry. He felt like such a fool. He should never have agreed
for them not to have contact for so long. He should have been persistent, should
have constantly reminded her that she was the only one for him. He went back to
campus feeling empty and lost. He exploded when he saw Dana and told her to
stay as far away from him as possible. She saw how angry he was and knew it was
hopeless even to attempt to make him understand what she had done. It was not
long and she had moved on to someone else.

He
wrote to Grace’s mom and waited anxiously for her response. Eventually it came.
Grace believed him, but she had been through so much pain over that photograph
and realised she needed to find herself before she could see him again. All she
had ever known was her and Joel. She didn’t know who she was without him, and
now she needed to explore that. She was going to stay in New York and was
performing with a large orchestra now. Each step she took in her music career
was one step closer to realising her dream. She promised she would write to him
when she was ready. Joel replied that he would respect that, but he would never
give up on her or their love. He knew with all his heart that they were meant
to be. He signed off as always ‘no matter what.’

He
was now in his final year of study. He decided to make peace with the situation
with Grace and give all of himself to his studies. He had a bit more free time
as well and so he got involved with a local craftsman and began building the
boat he had always dreamed of building. He spent many hours sawing and
hammering and sanding. Pouring the love he held for Grace into crafting his
sailboat. He started to feel that old forgotten wanderlust that had been with
him since his childhood. He had been so gripped by his pain and turmoil over
Grace that he had forgotten his own dream and now it was stirring from
somewhere deep inside. The ocean called to him, faraway lands begged to be
explored. The throbbing of his own heart as he imagined his adventures beat a climactic
rhythm, drawing him deeper and deeper into the dream realm until nothing else
mattered but finishing his boat and setting sail for the horizon.

The
next spring full moon arrived, but he knew it was Grace’s turn and so he
decided not to go home this year. He was preparing for his final exams and his
boat still needed a lot of work.

He
breezed through his exams and finally, after many years of hard work and
sacrifice, was awarded his Master’s degree as a marine biologist. He organised
to have his boat transported back to his home town where he could take some
much deserved time off from everything and just focus on his boat. He moved
into his parents’ cabin at the sea and erected a boathouse where he could
continue constructing his boat. He signed up for sailing lessons and soon got
his
licence
.

He
also met another young sailor, Simon, who was eager for adventure but didn’t
have his own boat or a crew to join. They decided that they would plan a trip
together. They would use Joel’s boat when it was complete and Simon would
contribute funding for food and supplies.  They planned to leave at the
beginning of summer so that they would have pleasant weather for at least three
months at sea. They worked on the boat together and attended any courses they
could find to prepare them for an extended period at sea.

Spring
full moon arrived and Joel felt drawn to honour the ritual established so many
years ago. He was now twenty-six years old, but the childhood promise was still
a force within him that he could not deny. It had been three years since he had
last seen Grace. That night, he laid a picnic blanket beneath the tree, lay on
his back, closed his eyes and just let all the memories flood him.

When
he opened his eyes he felt he had stepped through a mythical orb because Grace
stood above him, staring softly into his face. She smiled shyly as disbelief
morphed into elation and then back to shock and finally love across Joel’s
face. He got up quickly and stood staring at her, words refusing to form. She
had taken his hand in hers and stepped slowly into his arms, wrapping hers
around him. Time stood still and the years evaporated as they saw each other
again for the first time. Nothing forgotten, no emotion lost. They stood there
quietly, arms wrapped around each other, silently, for what seemed like
eternity. Neither wanted to break contact or say anything that may have ruined
the moment. There were no words. Anything said would have been hollow compared
to the sparks flickering between them and all around, their breaths fanning the
sparks into the giant flames of love and passion they had been denying for so
long.

Joel
picked her up and carried her to his car. He drove her back to his cabin,
neither of them saying a word, just melting into each other as they got through
the door, just loving each other with honesty and absolute surrender to each
other and their love that had no space for words or explanation or thought.

When
they woke in the morning, they lay entwined together, the fear of separation
after just finding each other again causing them to cling to each other
throughout the night in their sweet sleep. Grace woke first. She buried her
face in the curve of Joel’s neck and curled her fingers through his. He roused,
turned slightly, and brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed her fingertips
gently. They stayed there the whole morning, neither wanting to leave the
other’s side for a moment in case breaking contact would whisk them away from
each other again. It had been so long, but the fire between them burned as
brightly as it had the last time they had seen each other. It was as if they
had never been apart. Eventually they got up and went for a walk on the beach
together, as they had done so many times before in the past. They talked, and
laughed, and caught up on each other’s lives of the past few years. Joel told
her all about his studies and his thesis on how the giant blue whale could
survive on tiny plankton. Grace told him all about her travels and her
experience playing with the orchestra. They briefly discussed Dana and the
misunderstanding between them over her conniving prank.

The
sun began to set and they found their favourite dune perch to watch it dip into
the ocean. There was an air of expectancy between them. Each had something to
tell the other that they couldn’t quite find the words to say. They both had
uncertainties about what came next after finding each other again.

Grace
broke the tension. She apologised to Joel for not wanting to see him those last
few years. She realised a lot of heartache and misunderstanding could have been
avoided if she had just kept her usual cool grasp of the situation. Having said
that, she felt that the time away had allowed her the focus she had needed to
find who she was as an individual – someone other than her parents’ daughter,
or Joel’s girlfriend. She had needed to meet Grace alone and independent. She
also had a surprise. Her dream had come true – she had performed at Carnegie
Hall, a month ago. This was why she had returned. Her goal had been accomplished
and now all she wanted was to be with Joel and honour the promise she had made
all those years ago. She knew who she was and had no other rainbows to chase
other than her love for Joel.

Joel
sat quietly, head bowed over hers, throughout her explanations. She was sitting
in front of him with her back against his chest, and so she had not noticed his
expressions and the deep sadness that shadowed his face. When she looked up at
him she saw his eyes were filled with tears and fear gripped her heart. She
knew whatever he said was not going to be what she had hoped to hear. She had
dreamed of this moment, when they were finished with their studies and could be
together. Joel held her and told her how he too had dreamed of this moment. He
went on to explain that he had finally made himself accept that she was gone
and that he had to move on. He explained how he had attempted to do so by
building his boat, and now, how he had committed to sailing the world with
Simon and all that they had both invested. He so wished he could sail the world
with her, but this trip had already been planned and finalised and as it was
his boat’s maiden voyage, he would never put her at risk by taking her with on
this arduous trip. He would leave in three months, at the start of summer.

Again,
the anguish erupted, spewing the scalding lava of heartache over their souls
and darkening their sky with ashes of despair. Grace understood but that didn’t
take the hurt away. She had just found him again, and was about to lose him again.
He told her it was only for three months; that he would be back for her in no
time. This time they agreed they would spend every moment together that they
had until he left.

C
hapter Seven

The
next three months were a rollercoaster of emotions. They experienced great
highs in their moments together, but the briefest separations sent them into
the depths of panic and foreboding. Grace noticed the change in Joel since the
last time she saw him. She saw that fire that had burned in him his whole life
that he had tempered for her. She knew she would never stand in his way of
living his dream – she had already lived hers – but she was terrified. She did
not know if she could stand watching him walk out of her life again, but she
knew she had no choice.

The
day of departure arrived and Grace met Joel and Simon at the harbour. They were
securing their supplies and checking their emergency equipment, chatting with
fellow sailors here and running about organising there. There were two other
boats heading out with them, they would sail out of the harbour until the
village was just a horizon and then they would part ways. Joel and Simon were
heading north first, towards the Mediterranean, while the other two had
Madagascar in mind as their destination.

A
large sheet covered the hull and Joel told Grace that he had a surprise for
her. His boat had not yet been christened – he had given her a name, but he
wanted Grace to break the bottle of champagne and make it official before they
set sail. He handed her the bottle, and then pulled on the rope to release the
sheet. Grace gasped as she read the boat’s name: Amazing Grace. She ran into
his arms and held on with all she had until it was time to say goodbye.

As
Joel sailed out of the harbour Grace stood and waved, when he was around the
bend and out of sight, she ran down to the beach, tears streaming down her
cheeks and almost blinding her. She stood on the beach and watched him sail
towards the horizon. The man she loved sailing out of her life. She walked into
the sea, wanting to be drenched in the same waters that were carrying her heart
away from her and she had a powerful realisation. The power and beauty of the
sea were in its freedom. If she wanted to enjoy it, she needed to meet it in
its element. She could try to take some of it away with her, in a jar, or a
bucket, or fill a swimming pool – but it would be just water - and water that
was of no use or sustenance. Its very nature would be altered and its power
lost. No, if she wanted the sea, she had to go into it. Either it could leave
her refreshed and invigorated, or it could toss her wildly. That was the chance
she would need to take. And would take – every moment for as long as she
breathed – she would love Joel.

Grace
waited patiently. After three months she began running down to the beach every
afternoon hoping to see Joel sailing back into the harbour. After two weeks of
this, and no sign of Joel, she started to feel a little anxious. Another two
weeks passed, and she told herself not to worry. It had been a planned
adventure, but she was sure there were many exciting things to see and so they
were probably delayed. Joel would come back to her. He would never abandon her.
Another month passed and something started to scratch away at her logical
thought patterns. She had taken up teaching music to the local primary school
children to keep herself occupied until Joel returned.

One
afternoon, while going through scales with a timid little nine-year-old girl,
there had been a knock at her door. The captain of the Sea Rescue Institute,
Ethan, was standing there, looking stricken. They had known each other most of
their lives, he was about ten years older than she and Joel, but they had spent
so much time at the sea they had got to know everyone at the institute really
well. The news he told her shattered them both.

They
had received news that a boat fitting the description of Joel’s boat had run
into a storm and capsized about four weeks ago. A passing cruise liner had
witnessed it but had been unable to offer any assistance during their own
predicament in the storm. They had radioed for help and sent up flairs. By the
time the storm had calmed there was no sign of the boat or crew. A search had
been going on up until a week ago for remnants of the boat and its crew.
Nothing had been found, but they were not getting any signal from Joel’s boat.
No-one had been in contact with them since just before the storm.