Heart of Gold (28 page)

On Tuesday morning, Matthew stared at his reflection in the mirror over the bureau. His cheeks and jaw were freshly shaved. His hair was clean, trimmed, and brushed back from his face. Now if there was something he could do about the nerves playing havoc with his gut . . .

Last night’s kiss had convinced him the time was right. What doubts had remained were swept away by the look in Alice’s eyes when he’d checked on her earlier this morning. Her pain was back.

Lord, if this is what You want, would You clear the way? I think Shannon’s willing, and it doesn’t look to me like there’s any other way. Maybe I wouldn’t even want there to be another way
.

He turned away from the mirror and went downstairs. After a quick look around, he found Todd in the parlor, playing with Nugget. The pup had grown a lot, although his head and paws signified how much more he still had to grow before reaching full size. They’d be lucky if the dog didn’t eat them out of house and home.

“Todd, I need you to run an errand for me.”

“Sure, Uncle Matt.” He hopped to his feet. Staying up late last night to see the fireworks hadn’t tired him.

“Run down to the Wells, Fargo office and tell Mr. Washburn I’ve got something to do this morning and I’ll be a bit late to work. When you’ve talked to him, come straight home and sit with your ma.” He wasn’t sure that was the best thing for Alice, but he knew more time with her son was what she would want, nonetheless.

“Can I take Nugget with me?”

“Yes, but you’d better put the leash on him. Don’t want him getting into trouble in town.”

Todd hurried off to obey, Nugget on his heels.

As soon as Sun Ling arrived, Matthew left the house. He was glad Shannon hadn’t come yet. He needed to talk to her father before he saw her again. And just to be sure he wouldn’t run into her, he took the upper road to the parsonage.

Sun Jie answered the door at his knock.

“Good morning, Sun Jie.”

She gave a slight bow of greeting.

“I’d like to speak with the reverend.”

“He go to church.”

“So early?” Apparently the town’s celebration hadn’t wearied the man any more than it had Todd.

When he entered the narthex a few minutes later, he heard the reverend’s voice. “And what does freedom mean to the person who trusts in Christ?”

Matthew moved to the entrance to the sanctuary. Delaney Adair was pacing back and forth across the front of the room, his hands clasped behind his back, his eyes downcast.

“Could you, like Paul, raise your voice in praise and thanksgiving if you were in chains, locked up in a prison?”

Matthew cleared his throat.

The reverend stopped and looked in his direction. His frown of concentration changed to a smile. “Mr. Dubois. It’s good to see you.”

“Sorry to interrupt.”

“Not at all. Not at all. Just putting together my thoughts for Sunday’s sermon. Come in.” He waved him forward with his hand.

Matthew walked down the center aisle. “Sounds like we’re in for another good one.”

“God willing.”

“Would you like to sit?”

“Sure.”

The reverend moved to the front pew, and Matthew followed his lead.

“What can I do for you?”

A flurry of nerves erupted again. Never in his adult life had he imagined this particular situation. He had no idea how a man was supposed to go about it. If there was a proper way, he hadn’t learned it while driving stage for Wells, Fargo.

He drew a deep breath and began. “It’s about your daughter, sir.”

“Yes?”

“Well . . . You see . . . I’d like your permission to . . . to ask her to marry me.”

The reverend’s eyes widened a little. “Marry?”

“Yes, sir. I’ve learned to . . . to care for her these past weeks.”

“Young man, that’s been obvious to me. I believe she cares for you as well. But I hadn’t expected you would ask for her hand so soon. No one should rush into marriage. It’s a serious step.”

Matthew nodded but said, “I’m not rushing, sir.”

Delaney looked toward the altar, his expression pensive.

“If she’ll have me, Reverend, I’ll be good to her. She’ll never do without. I don’t know that we’ll always have a house as nice as the one I live in now, but I’ll do my best to provide for her.”

Shannon’s father looked at him again. “I believe that, Matthew.

But I have one question for you.”

“Sir?”

“When we talked that morning in Polly’s Restaurant, that morning after we all arrived in Grand Coeur, you said you had no intention of settling down. That you would be returning to driving stage when you were no longer needed here. Has that changed?”

What should he say? He didn’t want to lie to the reverend, but he didn’t want to admit that he intended to return to driving stage. He would have to if he wanted to provide well for Shannon and Todd, as he’d just promised. He cleared his throat. “I didn’t know Alice was dying when I said that. And I hadn’t come to care for your daughter.”

Delaney was silent for another long spell. When he spoke at last, there was the slightest of smiles on his lips. “You have my permission to ask for my daughter’s hand. If I’d had any objection to you, I would have raised the issue with her before this. But I will remind you: Shannon has a mind and will of her own. I believe she cares for you, but only she knows if it is enough for marriage.”

Relief whooshed through Matthew. It seemed God had answered his prayer to clear the way. Now to convince Shannon. He would ask her tonight, just as soon as he was off work.

While Alice napped late that afternoon, Shannon wrote to Katie. She gave only a brief description of the previous night’s festivities and hoped that what she wrote wouldn’t make Katie see her circumstances in even worse light. Of the kiss she said nothing. She wasn’t ready to share that with anyone else yet. She wanted to savor it, to treasure it in her heart. And even if she wanted to share, how could she tell her dearest friend that she’d fallen in love with a man who had no allegiance to Virginia? If Katie could meet him, she would understand. But with thousands of miles between them . . .

Guilt wrapped around her heart. She’d been so angry with her father for accepting this pastorate in Idaho Territory. She’d declared she would never be happy anywhere but Virginia. She’d been determined to change his mind and eventually convince him to go home, whether or not the war still raged.

But now? Hard though it was to admit, she would rather be near Matthew than back home at Covington House.

She heard the front door open. Her eyes darted toward the mantel clock. It wasn’t yet time for Matthew to be home. Perhaps it was Todd. Only there was no sound of puppy paws on the wood floor.

Matthew appeared in the parlor doorway.

Her heart skittered at the sight of him. “You’re earlier than usual, Mr. Dubois.” She rose from the chair.

“I was hoping we might have time to talk before you go home.”

“Of course.”

“How is Alice?”

She hated to answer the question. “She didn’t have a good day.”

“I was afraid she wouldn’t. She never should have gone to the dance last night. It was too much for her, and she stayed out too long.”

Compassion welled in her chest. “I do not believe staying home would have made any difference. Even not feeling well today, she kept saying what a special time she had last night. It’s good she could have that.”

“I suppose you’re right.” He motioned with his head toward the door. “Might we take a walk while we talk?”

“Of course. If you wish.”

A short while later they set off on foot, up the hillside, heading away from town. Matthew shortened his long stride to accommodate hers. Neither of them spoke for what seemed to Shannon a very long time. She was tempted to fill the silence with mindless chatter. Katie had once declared that no one could keep a conversation going as well and with as little effort as Shannon Adair. And yet something kept her silent now. Waiting. But waiting for what? Why had he wanted to talk?

And if he wanted to talk, why didn’t he?

The memory of the kiss they’d shared last night rushed into her mind, and with her entire being she hoped he would stop, take her into his arms, and do it again.

Alice had heard the deep hum of her brother’s voice when he’d arrived home, although she hadn’t been able to make out his words from up in her room.
It’s time
, she’d wanted to call out to him.

Time for what?

Time for him to ask Shannon to marry him.

Time for Alice to die.

It was time.

How good You have been to me, Father. I never expected to have all these weeks with Matt. I never expected to be cared for so tenderly by the woman I
believe will mother Todd and love him when I can’t be here to do it. Thank You for letting me know her
.

It was time. But she would so like to know that everything was in place.

Not mine, but Thy will be done
.

How should he begin?

Matthew thought it might be easier to face an Indian war party than to fumble his way through a proposal of marriage. He knew something about arrows and gunfire. But when it came to asking Shannon to marry him . . . Well, it wouldn’t get any easier with continued silence.

He stopped walking. She took an extra step, then turned toward him. There was something swirling in her eyes, an emotion that he didn’t understand. When she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, the same way she had last night, words wouldn’t form in his mind. All he could think of was that he wanted to hold her and kiss her and— He stopped the direction of his thoughts. This wasn’t about desire. This was about doing what was right for Todd. He had to remain focused on that.

He cleared his throat. “Miss Adair, I went to see your father this morning. I wanted . . . I went to ask his permission for your hand in marriage. Which he gave.”

There was no doubt what he read in her eyes now—complete surprise.

“Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

She didn’t answer with words. Instead, she nodded. A shallow nod, but a nod all the same. He felt his whole body relax, not until then knowing just how afraid he’d been that she would refuse. And if she’d refused . . . That didn’t bear thinking about.