Heart Waves (5 page)

“You looked for me,” he grinned with the delight and satisfaction you’d find on a mountain climber after topping Mt. Kilimanjaro. “Don’t be shy,” he laughed. “I’m flattered.”   

“And I’m mortified.” If anyone died of embarrassment ever, I would have, at that moment. “I was curious. Obviously I’m not very good with computers.”

“Don’t feel bad. I know enough about how things follow you around to stay hidden in plain sight. But, have no fear,” he smirked. “If you need any help of a technical nature, I’m just a call away,” he patted his chest proudly.

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Which would you prefer?” He teased, before he began an onslaught of tickles, and once again brought his body dangerously close to mine.

“Whichever one gets you off me!” I said giggling, clearly no longer freaked out, even though I put up a faux struggle.

“Is that the best you can do?” he teased.

“Stop!”
I shrieked through my laughter, “Who’s supposed to save me from you?”

“No one can save you now.”

He was right. Even if it were my will, no one could save me from him. From the way my heart leapt at the sight of him. How already the bright, white electricity generated between us made the physical attraction impossible to deny, and the emotional attraction almost lethal.

I was falling fast. I knew I should make it stop, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to wrap myself up in the manic feeling. I welcomed the sudden fluttering of my insides as I hung on to every word, every movement of his face, his eyes, his lips, as he spoke and laughed. I wanted to give in to impulse, to the part of my brain screaming for me to meet his lips beneath the stars.

As if he could read my mind, a serious look crossed his perfectly shaped face. He stared at my mouth, and then at my eyes. He leaned in just a bit closer.

“You don’t know how much I want to kiss you.”

My heart raced in an erratic rhythm. I closed my eyes for a second trying to decide what to do. As much as I wanted to kiss him, I didn’t reply. Fear paralyzed me.

“I need to know you want it, too. Just say it.”

I didn’t understand why he wanted to torture me. Of course I wanted to kiss him, but I couldn’t tell him to kiss me. That would be humiliating.

He dipped his lips ever so slightly, and he was closer this time, so close, when his nose brushed mine I thought I imagined it.

“I don’t want you to be frightened or uncomfortable,” he prodded gently. “Whatever you’re feeling is okay. Just tell me.”

If I took the chance and believed him, I’d be putting my heart on the line. I couldn’t do that. Not with a friend of Mike’s. Not with someone currently residing in enemy headquarters.

I inhaled deeply and summoned all my strength to turn my head and close my eyes. I needed to pretend his image wasn’t scorched into the underside of my lids and that every time I closed my eyes I would hate myself for chickening out of kissing him.

“It’s getting late.” I bit my bottom lip hoping he wouldn’t ask why I freaked out.
             

“I’ll walk you to your door.” He got to his feet and extended a hand for me.

“You don’t have to.”

His eyes bore into mine. “I’m not leaving until you are back in your house safe and sound.”

I knew I needed to heed the warning. The romantic moonlight made it difficult for me to keep in control. His eyes danced and sparkled like diamonds. If I didn’t go now, things could heat up, and I didn’t think I could stop myself again.

I accepted his gesture and placed my hand in his. His hand covered mine completely. Just this simple act sent a flash of heat though my body that singed my spine.

On top of my four-step landing, with my hand still in his, Reece cleared his throat and warmed me up with a sly look. “Are you busy tomorrow night? Maybe we can catch a movie or dinner or something.”

I shook my head. How much easier to keep him at a distance so close to my house, where I knew I could just bolt inside. I knew I wouldn’t have to make a run for it though. The fact he backed off the kiss, didn’t force his mouth on mine - no matter how certain he felt I wanted it - I knew he would respect my wishes.

“I have plans with Grace for tomorrow.” I answered.

He narrowed his eyes, “You know this is easy to check.”

“Go ahead. We really do have plans.” 

Reece kissed my hand and moved on.

Inside, the silence thundered as I snuck in as quietly as I’d left, not wanting to disturb anyone. Up until I mentioned my plans for the next evening, I forgot all about Grace and that she was spending the night. She had to be asleep or else she would’ve come out to get me.

The moonlight spilled in through the windows, as if a flashlight illuminated a path to my bedroom. I cracked open the door a bit to find Grace sleeping peacefully in the dark. Glad for that, I climbed into my bed and pulled the covers to my chest.

Not having to explain my much longer than anticipated absence to Grace had its advantages. It meant I could lie in bed and think of Reece, until sleep fell upon me. I thought it would come immediately, but it didn’t. I hoped it would come before the fear and trepidation reared their ugly head.

No such luck.      

I hated the feelings he brought out in me. I hated feeling so wonderful. I hated feeling so unsure about him. I kept my heart hidden, buried away. I hadn’t let anyone in yet, and if I had any ounce of control I wouldn’t now, not if I could help it.

The night air was sticky, suffocating. I couldn’t wait to go home, kick off my shoes and relieve my aching feet. The heavy humidity kept my skin damp, causing my hair and sundress to cling to me.

Livid with Grace for leaving me alone, I pulled my phone out to check the time. It was almost an hour since she disappeared with Mike for a quick trip through the fun house.
Funhouse, my foot!
I didn’t for a minute believe she didn’t know he would be at the boardwalk, since coming had been her idea. I shoved my phone back into my purse.

I offered other suggestions for the evening, like the movies. But Grace declined, claiming to have her heart set on being out in the nighttime air, so I let her pick the venue. As we’re getting ready to leave, her cell phone rang, and it just happened to be Mike.

Coincidence.
Yeah, right!

I tried to talk Grace out of meeting him, or at least doing it after she dropped me off at home, but she couldn’t see the harm in spending a few minutes with Mike before we left. That was over an hour ago. And I got stuck trying to not look like a friendless loser amongst droves of people.  

I wasn’t sure where they went after the funhouse, but they had to go somewhere. Probably making out on the beach and lost track of time. Boy was she in for it. She wasn’t going to hear the end of this for months, if I ever spoke to her again.

The blizzard of people combing the boardwalk began to thin. I made the decision to leave. I wanted to send Grace a text telling her how sick with worry I was over her disappearance and how desperately I was searching for her. That should ensure she’d feel guilty for the rest of her life if something terrible happened to me.

I reached in my over-stuffed bag for my phone, expecting to find it easily. My hand found a brush and my wallet before resting on the phone. I really needed to clean out my purse. I looked around one last time before calling her, getting more frustrated with every passing breath. 

I saw him.

Walking straight toward me Reece had his arm around a petite, redheaded girl. My stomach tumbled and twisted. I squeezed my eyes closed, hoping I’d seen wrong or imagined him. My thundering heartbeat assured me I didn’t.

Regret swooshed through me. I’d lost him.
Before I ever had him.
I thought back to our conversation the previous night and knew there was no one else to blame. I wanted to kick myself for turning him down. At that moment I would have given my right kidney for another chance with him.

Far worse than him finding some random date for the evening was the thought he’d taken my advice and reconnected with his ex. For the briefest of moments, I hoped the girl was a relative, a cousin or a sister maybe. But the manner in which she nibbled at his neck wasn’t very sibling-like.

I couldn’t help but gawk. What a sight I must have been, standing there open-mouthed and drooling. I took in every detail of this girl, from her flat chest and boyish figure in skin-tight shorts, and a way too-low-cut-because-she-had-no-cleavage-shirt, to the short straight hair, framing her tiny face. The girl was stunning, and I hated her.

Passionately.

I wanted to pick a ketchup bottle off a nearby concession stand and squirt it all over her.

Self-loathing, an emotion I wasn’t at all accustomed to, surged through my veins. It felt like someone reached a fist through my chest and pulled my heart out from it. I tried to focus my negative feelings, especially the hate and jealousy blinding me, on Grace. If not for her romantic rendezvous with Mike, I’d be able to sleep peacefully tonight, hoping to have sweet dreams of Reece. Now they were sure to be tainted.

“Hey, Jenna.”

I couldn’t believe with Red glued to his side and only a foot in front of me, he had the nerve to flash me a dazzling smile. I wondered if my eyes betrayed the jealous fit I struggled to keep from having, at least in front of him.    

“Hi,” I forced a smile.

“I’d like you to meet my friend, Lisa,” he introduced us.

I couldn’t help notice how he stressed the word “friend.” Was that for my benefit? Did he think I was blind to how friendly she was?

“What are you doing here all alone?” he asked.

“I’m not alone,” I answered defensively, uncertain of why I felt compelled to lie.

“Sorry. It looked like Grace left you to fend for yourself.”

I’d forgotten I told him I had plans with Grace tonight. I bit my lip trying to find a coherent retort. “Well, that’s because I am technically alone out here.” I dragged the words out until I could come up with a plausible story. “And it has nothing to do with Grace. I’m waiting for my date, he’s busy,” I motioned toward the bath house not too far away.

I wanted to hit my head with a heavy mallet. What was I doing? Trying to make him jealous? How ridiculous. Once he spoke to Mike, Reece would know for certain I lied. And clearly he moved on. The living, breathing, sample of flesh clinging to him was proof of that.

Ridiculous or not, I hoped it worked.

Reece raised an eyebrow, almost as if he didn’t believe me. “It’s getting late, why don’t we wait with you?” he suggested, a smile playing on the corners of his lips and the twinkling of his eyes. “Maybe we can go grab a bite together, or have a few drinks.”

Great, I thought, wondering how to get out of the uncomfortable predicament I so effortlessly put
myself
into. I smiled, stalling, and noticed a slight roll of Lisa’s eyes. Little witch.

“Nah, I think your ‘friend’ has other plans for you tonight.” On cue, Lisa moved in closer to Reece, moving her hand under his shirt and across his back territorially. I had to control the urge to rip her hair out!  “Go on, I’m fine,” I tried to convince him.

Reece looked around, then down at Lisa, and nodded his head. “Alright then,” together they slinked off, just as cozily as they came.

As I watched them walk away I forced a smile on my face, in case Reece looked back. Again regret flooded my mind. I regretted every decision I made about him since the moment we met.

In a flash, resentment replaced regret. How dare he act so concerned! I resented his kindness. He had no right. Not when he could parade another girl right in front of me.

I chided myself for letting him get to me, as my eyes clouded over with tears. No one else ever made my blood boil quite the way he could. And he couldn’t’ possibly have any sort of real feelings for me if he could turn his attention to someone else so easily.

Once I lost sight of them I made my way over to a bench and sent Grace a quick text message.

I’m leaving. I walk in 5

I figured I had time to play a quick game of
Angry Birds
while I waited. This was the last time I let Grace drive. She’d never been this flighty or irresponsible. Leave it to Mike to find one more way to make me miserable.

“Hey Baby.”

A strange voice startled me. I looked up. A boulder formed in my stomach as a guy I’d never seen towered over me. He smiled. An overconfident, inviting smile, sending forth a blast of his alcohol masked breath.

I shot to my feet.

“Want to party?” he asked raising his eyebrows in a perverse manner, as his eyes fell from my face to my chest.

I stepped to the side, away from him, before responding, “Why don’t you go to wherever it is you go at night, and leave me alone.”