Heller's Punishment (17 page)

There was no
one else in the office when I returned. I didn’t have much to do,
not having been allocated any assignment since Felicia. So I
Facebooked, read the news online, re-cleaned the already sparkling
kitchenette and bathroom, watered the pot plants, dusted every flat
surface.

Niq strolled in
and sat at his desk. I thought he’d grown during the night, so made
him stand up against the wall where I was keeping a record. He’d
definitely shot up since I’d measured him the previous month, news
that made him grin with pride. In a business full of tall, muscled
men, he was painfully conscious of his small build. And though he’d
recently turned fifteen, he hadn’t grown much since I’d known him.
I wasn’t sure that he’d accepted the obvious fact that he’d never
be as big as Heller, one of his secret dreams.

Daniel returned
to the office with a huge smile on his face. I raised my eyebrows
at him and he gave me two thumbs up, a faint blush creeping across
his face.

“It’s on for
Saturday evening,” he divulged shyly but happily.

I ran over and
threw myself on him in joy, but I was a little over-enthusiastic
and he staggered backwards under my weight until we hit a wall. At
least it felt like a wall. But it turned out to be Heller, who’d
just walked into the office.

He untangled
Daniel and me and stalked past us, not saying a word. But the icy
look he shot me in passing could have frozen a furnace.
Oh dear,
I was still in trouble.

It was an
unusual sensation for me to be in Heller’s bad books – normally I
was the one angry with him. It made me uncomfortable and I couldn’t
settle back to work. I soon realised there was only one thing I
could do, and that was to go and talk to him. So I plucked up my
courage and approached his office, knocking softly on the door. He
swung his chair around from his computer to face the door and
contemplated me coldly.

“Go away,
Matilda. I don’t wish to speak to you.” He swung back to his
computer screen and started tapping away on the keyboard, ignoring
me.

I guess he
needed a bit more time to calm down. I returned to my desk
obediently and forced myself to concentrate on my work. I’d try him
again later.

When it was
time for our regular staff meeting, and despite being the closest
to Heller’s office, I waited until Daniel, Sid and Clive all went
in before I dared to show my face in there again. The meeting
progressed as normal, until Heller spoke.

“I had an
enquiry this morning regarding a new assignment. It will require a
staff member to be onsite for a period of about four weeks. I’m
thinking of sending you, Matilda. We’ll meet with the client
tomorrow.”

“Heller, don’t
send me away for a month –” I started complaining, but shut up
quickly when he turned his ferocious glare on me.

“You’ll do what
I tell you to,” he snapped, and I knew then I was being
punished.

I sat in sullen
silence for the rest of the meeting until we were dismissed. It
wasn’t fair. He hadn’t even given me a chance to explain why I’d
decided to sleep with Will again. And he knew I hated being away
from Niq and Daniel for long periods.

Bastard!
I thought angrily to myself as I banged on my keyboard in fury. I
continued to mutter obscenities about him under my breath for the
rest of the day. Heller looked at me curiously as he walked past,
but wisely didn’t approach me.

After work, I
was still steaming, so headed straight upstairs to enjoy a solitary
peaceful hour and a glass of wine in the hot tub. As I leaned back,
the hot water soothed my anger and relaxed my tense muscles. Or
maybe it was the alcohol. Whatever. It made me feel better.

I’d just
finished my second glass of wine and was feeling a bit pissed,
lazily thinking about getting out and preparing some dinner when
Heller walked out from the stairwell. That made up my mind for me
and I clamoured to exit the hot tub as fast as possible. He pushed
me back in the water with a strong hand on my shoulder. I sat there
sulkily.

“You wanted to
talk to me?” he asked, climbing in opposite me. He appeared to have
cooled off a little.

“I
did
want to talk to you, but now I don’t.”

“It’s not a
punishment, Matilda.”

“Then why does
it feel like one? I want to know why I should be punished anyway. I
haven’t done anything wrong. Not to anybody. You’re the one who’s
done something wrong. You’ve broken my wall. And my lamp and clock.
I liked that clock!” I said indignantly.

“You have done
something wrong. You’ve harmed the fiancee of that man.”

Why did he have
to say that? I looked down at the bubbling water, my shame painful
inside me.

“And you intend
to keep harming her.”

I looked up.
“What do you care about her? Don’t pretend that you do.”

“Of course I
don’t care about her, Matilda. I care about you. That man will hurt
you. He’s not trustworthy.”

“I’m not seeing
him again. Not because you told me not to, but because that’s the
right thing to do. I should never have slept with him. It was wrong
of me.”

“Yes, it was. I
only hope that you’ll listen to me next time when I tell you not to
do something.”

“You can’t tell
me what to do. Not about my personal life.”

His eyes were
cold as they rested on my face. “I will tell you what to do if I
think you’re making a mistake. If I think you need to be protected
from your own bad decisions.”

I sighed with
exasperation. “You can’t protect me from life, Heller. I’m
twenty-five. I need to be free to make bad decisions. I need to
make mistakes and do stupid things. It’s the only way that I’ll
learn about myself, that I’ll grow as a person. How will I ever
know what’s right and wrong for me if you’re always trying to
protect me from my own mistakes?” He remained silent. “Do you
understand what I’m trying to say?”

“No. You ought
to be grateful that I’m trying to protect you from life.”

“You try to
wrap us all in cotton wool and maybe that’s the right thing to do
for Niq and Daniel. But I don’t
want
to be protected from
life. I want to live life and experience all of its ups and downs,
all its happiness and sadness, its triumphs and failures. Why can’t
you understand that?”

“You’re an
attractive, trusting, friendly young woman and you have no real
knowledge of just how ugly and vicious the world can be. I do. You
don’t know how many predators are out there waiting with hunger for
someone like you to fall into their hands. I do.”

“You treat me
like I’m a helpless idiot.”

“You’re
ungrateful, Matilda.”

That was it.
Angered, I climbed out of the tub, glaring at him.

“I made the
right decision to send you away for a while,” he said, his blue
eyes frosty. “It might help you appreciate more what you have.”

“And what’s
that
supposed to mean?” I demanded angrily.

“Work it out
for yourself,” he snapped, and closed his eyes, ignoring me. I
flounced back to my flat and spent the rest of the evening
fuming.

The next day,
aware that we were meeting a new client, I dressed in one of my
power suits and plastered on some makeup, aiming for feminine but
professional. I hoped it would impress the client. I adjusted my
blouse to expose just a touch more cleavage. You’d be surprised
what it can achieve with some clients.

As soon as I
arrived at work, Heller yelled out for me to come to his office
immediately.
Uh-oh
, I thought,
I was in trouble
again
. He then proceeded to shout at me for entering the
restricted surveillance section without his authorisation. I
received the full lecture on how there was confidential sensitive
data held there, how restricted meant just that, and how it wasn’t
up to me to decide where I could go in this office,
blah, blah,
blah
. I tuned out after the first few minutes.

When he paused
to take a breath, I quickly jumped in to assure him I’d been too
busy worrying about my butt to notice anything confidential,
thinking that might make him smile. It didn’t. Instead, he
commenced on the second half of the castigation, which mostly
involved him pointing out all my many flaws as an employee.
Fortunately Daniel rescued me from the volcano by ushering the new
client into the office, introducing us all.

I checked out
the client with little enthusiasm. His name was Jye Rendell and he
looked like a baby-boomer still yearning for the heady days of
Woodstock. His long greying hair was plaited neatly but his
tie-dyed t-shirt, baggy off-white cotton pants and sandals weren’t
the usual business attire Heller’s clients normally sported. He was
one of the few clients who came to us at the Warehouse as we
normally did outcalls. But he explained that as he was crashing on
the lounge at a friend’s house, he didn’t have anywhere suitable
for us to meet.

I examined him
with curiosity, because he didn’t strike me as someone with the
means to pay for Heller’s exorbitant rates, especially for a
month-long live-in stint. But I presumed Heller had confirmed his
financials before agreeing to take on the assignment. He wasn’t a
successful businessman for nothing.

Jye revealed
the reason why he was seeking a security presence. He told us that
he lived with like-minded individuals in a self-sustaining,
collectively-organised, agriculturally-based community known as The
Farm.
Oh God, its a commune
, I thought in horror. Besides
their common belief in sustainable organic agricultural practices,
the members of The Farm, known as ‘Farmers’, also shared a
pantheistic belief of God’s presence in the bountiful harvest, or
some rubbish like that. To be honest, I drifted off during Jye’s
passionate five minute spiel about their beliefs.
Oh God, even
worse, a religious commune
, I moaned silently in utter despair,
casting a meaningful but wretched glance in Heller’s direction. He
didn’t respond, keeping his eyes firmly on the client.

“So, yeah,
like, we try to live in harmony with our surrounding neighbours,
but we’ve been getting some threatening letters lately. Yeah. We
want to expand our bountiful harvest and have been in discussion
with our nearest neighbour about buying several of his fields that
border The Farm. That’s the only thing we can think of that would
cause someone to become upset enough to threaten us. We just want a
bit of protection, but nothing too heavy, until the deal goes
through. Just to have a presence, but nothing obvious. Yeah. The
neighbours would notice if a big man suddenly joined us.” He turned
his gray eyes to me, lingering on my cleavage.

“I’m sure
Matilda will blend in perfectly at your . . . er . . . The Farm,”
Heller promised smoothly, careful to avoid any eye contact with
me.

“Yeah. Cool.
Yeah,” Jye said. “Might be best if I introduce you as a new
recruit. Yeah. Don’t want to freak anyone out. Not many people know
the real reason I’ve come to the city today. Didn’t want the other
Farmers to know how concerned we are about the threats. Yeah. Been
trying to laugh them off as harmless.”

I smiled grimly
at him – he was giving me the shits already. “So you’re not wanting
me in uniform then, Mr Rendell?” I enquired politely.

“No, that would
be too heavy. Just jeans, normal clothes. Yeah. We’ll give you some
clothes to wear to help you fit in. I’m driving back after this
meeting, so you can come with me. Yeah.”

I groaned to
myself. It was too soon. It also meant I was going to miss out on
personally hearing all about Daniel’s date. Thank the heavens for
mobile phones and email though. I forced myself to muster up a
charming smile. Heller suggested I pack while he and Jye sorted out
the paperwork. I stood and looked at him sadly.

“Quickly
please, Matilda. I’m sure Mr Rendell wishes to return home as soon
as possible,” he said brusquely, noticing my hesitance.

I reluctantly
dragged my feet upstairs and threw some clothes, toiletries and
makeup haphazardly into my suitcase. After hesitating, I also
pushed my electronic tablet into the zippered compartment at the
bottom of my suitcase, then piled the clothes back on top again. I
changed into some jeans and a casual t-shirt, exchanging my high
heels for a pair of runners, scrubbing off my makeup and tying my
hair into a ponytail.

Back in the
office, I hugged and kissed Niq and Daniel goodbye, making Niq
promise to attend to his schoolwork, wishing Daniel all the best
for his upcoming date with Anton, and reminding them to text, ring
and email me regularly. That’s all I had time to say before Jye and
Heller left his office, Heller handing Daniel the signed paperwork.
Jye was keen to depart.

“I’ll be in
contact, Matilda,” was all Heller said, not offering me a hug or
even a quick peck on my cheek in goodbye. Forlorn, I was about to
move to him to kiss him goodbye, when he turned on his heel and
strode back to his office. I was devastated, hating to go away for
so long with Heller still angry with me. I followed Jye down the
stairs, lugging my suitcase, Daniel’s and Niq’s farewells ringing
in my ear.

Jye’s wheels
were parked on the street outside the Warehouse. Hugely
embarrassed, I climbed into the front bench seat of his ancient,
battered, snot-green Kombi van, decorated with virulent fluorescent
flowers. It started in a cloud of black exhaust smoke, the engine
sounding weaker than a sewing machine. Jye clashed the gears and
pulled out of the parking spot with a couple of kangaroo jumps. I
did up my seat belt and clutched the safety strap nervously. Ever
since Niq and I had been involved in that terrible car accident, I
was exceedingly anxious in a vehicle with a bad driver. It was
going to be a nerve-wracking journey for me.