Her Forbidden Rockstar: A Forbidden Rockers Novel (19 page)

“What makes you think that I’m not in love with Turner or can’t be with Turner, and only Turner, for the rest of my life?”

“Jackie, don’t answer that,” Aralia interrupted. “Caroline, we cannot answer that for you. You already know how you feel.”

Caroline was silent for a moment, finishing her bagel. She sighed and picked up her phone, switching it off speaker phone, and holding it up to her ear.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, girls, I really need to think this through,” Caroline told them and then said her goodbyes before hanging up.

After she hung up the phone, she popped back into her bedroom and opened up the ring box that Turner had given her, snapped a quick picture with her cell phone, and texted it to both girls. She then finished cleaning up after her breakfast and headed out the door for work. She decided to skip the coffee shop today, she wasn’t sure why.

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Monday went by uneventfully and fell quickly into Tuesday. Turner had worked late last night and Caroline had gone to bed early, both trying to avoid each other, feeling awkward around one another. Tuesday was the same way, except Caroline worked late and Turner went out with some of his friends to watch a sports game at a nearby bar.

Both nights ,the two only were around each other when they were asleep and one of them was always gone before the other in the morning. Wednesday morning was Caroline’s turn and she was gone at least forty five minutes before Turner’s alarm clock went off. She headed straight to the coffee shop, because she was exhausted getting up so early and had begged Aralia to meet her there.

Caroline had spent time over the last two days thinking about Turner’s marriage proposal, but had not been able to get any further in the decision making process. She was hoping that another talk with Aralia might help her.

She loved Jackie, but Jackie had never been able to understand her the same way that Aralia could. The cousins were very different personalities and Caroline tended to be more like Aralia, which was ironic since the two lived extremely different lifestyles.

After a ten minute subway ride, Caroline arrived down the block from the shop, and walked the rest of the way. She opened the front door and immediately smiled, when the smell of coffee beans hit her nose.

Nothing could wipe away the stress that clouded up her mind like the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee, which was one of the reasons why she loved the Java Jolt so much.

“Hey, Caroline! Want your usual? We started selling holiday drinks though, want a pumpkin latte or peppermint?” George asked her.

“Ooh, that actually sounds great! Let’s go with peppermint. Has Aralia gotten here yet?”

“Yeah, she got the pumpkin and is already over there on the couch in the corner.” George nodded his head in that direction and Caroline turned to see Aralia sipping her drink and flipping through a magazine.

She waved to her and then finished paying for her drink with George.

“Hey, girl,” Aralia said as Caroline walked up and sat down across from her in a stuffed chair.

“So, I’m going to tell Turner that I’ll marry him,” Caroline said, taking a big gulp of her freshly hot drink and then coughing when she realized how hot it was.

Aralia looked up from the paper, alarmed. Caroline hadn’t been sure what she was going to say, until she saw Aralia, but when she did, she knew what she should do.

“Wow. What made you decide that?” Aralia asked, putting down the magazine on a low table between them. 

“I just think it’s the best thing to do. I mean my parents love Turner, he is the kind of guy they always wanted me with. He has a good and steady job and we live together already. He loves me and takes care of me. He’s fun and I enjoy being around him. It just seems to make sense,” Caroline explained.

“What about Logan?” Aralia asked cautiously, picking up a scone she had purchased earlier, and taking a big bite.

“What about him? He picked Gina, Aralia. He didn’t pick me. He can’t just go try her on for six months, then decide to come back to me just because it didn’t work out with her. Hell, I don’t even know if that’s true. He wasn’t exactly forthcoming about her when we first met. He could still be with her for all I know.” Caroline shrugged as she explained herself.

“Caroline, they’re definitely over. You can Google it, she is working with some other band now,” Aralia said.

“She is? You looked her up? Why?” Caroline asked, furrowing her brow and crossing her legs.

“I was curious when he did the whole sit in front of the coffee shop thing all day last week. I think it’s pretty clear that he publicly claimed his affections for you with that whole thing,” she said.

“Not really, it was explained off as a promotion for his new art gallery.”

“Well that was his agency that said that, not him.” she defended Logan to Caroline.

She nodded in agreement, knowing Aralia was right.

“Caroline, tell me one thing. Do you love Logan? Not just love, but are you in love with Logan?” Aralia leaned forward. Caroline sighed and slumped back in her chair, crossing her arms.

“Aralia, what kind of question is that? I just told you that I am going to say yes to Turner’s proposal.”

“I know, but in that whole explanation you gave me earlier about why you’re going to say yes, not once did you mention love. Not once did you say you loved Turner. We both know that you love, or at least did love, Logan. If I can be honest, I think that you still are.”

Caroline was silent, listening to her, and squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter. I can’t marry a rock star and run away with him, I mean I have built a life here that my family worked hard to give me. Turner is stable, kind, funny, and he makes me happy. What more can a girl ask for than that?”

“Okay, Caroline, but I want to go on record saying I don’t think you’re thinking this through correctly.” Aralia put her hands up in surrender.

Caroline nodded, knowing she should take Aralia’s advice more seriously. They finished up their coffee and said goodbye, walking each other out of the shop, and then parting ways. Aralia was heading back home, since she didn’t have to go into the bar for work until later tonight.

Once Aralia got around the corner of the block and out of sight, she quickly pulled out her phone and flipped through her contacts until she found the number that she wanted. She clicked on it and held the phone up to her ear quickly.

“Hey, it’s Aralia. I need you to come by the bar tonight. I have to talk to you. It has to be tonight, it’s really important. Okay, see you shortly,” Aralia said and then hung up the phone and headed back to her apartment.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“So, what’s the emergency?” Logan said as Aralia picked up a glass and tossed some ice into it, glancing up at him.

“Let me guess, scotch on the rocks kind of guy? Nothing but top shelf?” Aralia asked him, ignoring his question.

“Bingo. You certainly know your way around a bar,” he told her, smiling.

“Hey, got to love what you do. I have a talent for guessing people’s favorite drinks, hazard of the profession. Here you go.” Aralia finished pouring the glass and slid it across the bar to him.

He took a few small sips and nodded in approval.

“So, talk to me, Aralia.” Putting down his glass and propping his elbows up on the edge of the bar, leaning against it to listen to her. Aralia sighed and leaned against the other side of the bar, over the ice chest, so that she could get closer. She glanced around the bar and then lowered her voice.

“Logan, I don’t know any other way to tell you this except to just flat out rip off the band-aid.” Aralia sighed and then continued, “Turner proposed to Caroline and she’s going to say yes.”

The handsome rock star sat back in his chair, pushing off the bar, and stared at her for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out if what he had just heard could be true. He breathed out, loudly, and pushed his hair back with his hand, then gulped down the rest of his drink and pushed the glass back toward Aralia.

Aralia grabbed it and emptied it out, refilled the ice and scotch, and then handed it back to him. He took another gulp.

“She’s going to say yes?” He knew the answer, but had to say it out loud anyway. He was staring at Aralia, but looking past her into space as well.

“She doesn’t want to. I know she says she wants to, but she really doesn’t. I know she’s still in love with you. You need to win her back.” Aralia said, wiping some glasses clean.

“You don’t think I tried?” Logan said incredulously, tossing his hands up in the air and then taking another few swigs from his glass.

“I know, but try again. She’s been my best friend for longer than I can remember and I like Turner, but he doesn’t make her light up the way she does when she talks about you. When she would talk about you, even when she was upset, there was a passion and excitement in her eyes that I only ever saw before when she is drawing in her sketch book.”

Logan felt a stirring in his gut at that look he’d seen a few times in Caroline’s eyes. 

“She has spent all her life trying to be the person she thinks she is supposed to be, based on other people’s opinions, like her parents. But even her mom was talking to me a while ago, after they first met Turner, and said she was worried Caroline was making a mistake, all they really want is for her to be truly happy. I don’t know why she thinks she has to fit a specific mold, but she really needs to just let go and follow her heart instead,” Aralia told him, continuing to clean glasses and lining them up on the bar shelf.

“She lights up when she talks about me?” Logan asked, smiling at the thought of her beautiful smile just for him.

Aralia nodded. “Unbelievably.”

“Thanks, Aralia. You’re a great friend to her,” Logan said and pulled some cash out of his pocket, dropping it on the bar.

Aralia handed him a piece of paper with Caroline’s address on it, he read it, then tucked it into his pocket. He smiled at her and headed out, leaving the bar. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning, ear to ear, almost skipping down the Manhattan streets.

He felt like his whole body was jittery with adrenaline. It was strange that he was in such a good mood for having just heard that the woman he loves was planning on marrying someone else, but his heart was telling him something else. He had no doubts about what he was going to do next. 

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“Hey, have you seen my green t-shirt with the signet on it?” Turner stuck his head out of the bedroom and called to Caroline. She was sitting on the couch, watching one of the prime time drama television series that she loved.

“Yeah, I just folded it. It’s in the pile of laundry in the white bin. I haven’t put them away in the drawers yet. Sorry,” Caroline responded, then went back to watching her show.

Turner went back into the bedroom.

Caroline looked back at the bedroom door and bit her lip. She had another day before the big talk with Turner. She knew she had told Aralia she’d made up her mind, but now she felt like she was even further from a decision than ever. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands and sighed, leaning into the couch and trying to get comfortable.

Her whole body felt tense and stressed, her chest was tight, and her throat felt closed. Sometimes she had to catch herself from letting a tear slip out, because the stress was just overwhelming her.

Her television program clicked off and went to a commercial break just as Caroline heard a knock on their front door. Caroline looked over toward the hallway to see if Turner was going to answer it, but didn’t hear any movement from the bedroom.

She sighed and stood up, smoothing out her baggy t-shirt and fluffing her hair a bit, wondering who would be visiting at such a late hour. She trotted over to the front door in her small shorts and ankle socks, opening it wide and pausing in mid-motion.

“Caroline,” Logan said softly, standing in her doorway.

He was wearing a leather jacket over a thin t-shirt and tight jeans, looking her straight in the eyes with such an intensity that she almost fell over. She took a deep breath, trying to regain her thoughts, and then turned around to look and see if Turner was around.

She didn’t see him, so she quickly stepped out into the hallway, made sure the door was unlocked, and gently closed it behind her.  She was terrified that Turner might have seen him. She wasn’t sure how she would ever explain this to him.

After closing the door, Caroline turned around and looked up at Logan. She tried to say something, but no words came out of her mouth. Logan took a step toward her and placed his hands on either side of her face, leaning down and kissing her.

She didn’t try to stop him, not even the smallest amount of resistance.

Instead, she slipped her hands around his waist and leaned into him, deepening their kiss. A few quiet moments went past with the two locked in the tangles of intimacy until Logan finally pulled back slightly from her, breaking their kiss.

“Caroline, I love you,” he whispered softly, inches from her face, still holding her cheeks in his large hands.

Caroline looked deeply into his eyes and burst into tears. His fingers wiped away her tears gently. He leaned down again and kissed each of her cheeks where her tears were. She let him for a moment, then pushed him away, wiping her face with her sleeve and trying to calm down.

“Logan, you can’t be here. I have a boyfriend, we live together and he is right inside. I already told you that there’s nothing left between us,” she whispered to him, pushing him back further away.

“You know that’s not true, Caroline.”

Logan looked down at the ground and then back at her, slipping his hands into his pockets. He pulled out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket and handed it to her. She took it and saw that it was an invitation for his art gallery opening party.