Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) (27 page)

Shaking my head, I felt the tears burning my eyes. “No…no. I can’t… I won’t believe it.”

Pointing at me, I could feel the adrenaline coursing through him. “Believe it, Arianne. I would never lie to you. This has happened, and Alexander will pay. Plans are already in motion to send him to earth. He is to roam the land alone, suffering the consequences of his actions. It was about time it was done. He will bring with him his memories so he can feel the pain of his actions. I won’t be completely harsh with him, though. Once he has shown mercy, once he has rehabilitated himself, he can come back. But it will take time, Arianne. It will take years.”

No, this can’t be happening. The pain of hearing Alexander had admitted he slept with Elizabeth overwhelmed me. I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe he would betray me like that. I thought he loved me. I thought he wanted to be with me and only me.

“This is a good thing though, Arianne. With Alexander out of the way, you can make time for Simeon. Spend time with him. Get to know him. I’m sure, with time, you will come to love him.”

Gripping my hand to my chest, I shook my head. I looked up at my mother and saw the anguish in her eyes. She knew I was suffering. She knew I was in pain. However, my father was oblivious. He didn’t care. I bet he was glad Alexander had done the one thing my father always expected of him. It would make him even more determined to show me he was right all along. I couldn’t let that happen. I
wouldn’t
let that happen. I wasn’t going to be pushed into the arms of another when I had shared my soul with Alexander. He had my soul now. It was crushed and lifeless after being beaten by his betrayal.

“I want the mission,” I whispered.

“Sorry. What was that?” my father asked.

“That mission all the Archangels have been discussing lately. I want to be touched. I want to live my life on earth.” I didn’t want to remember what had happened here. I wanted the pain to be gone. If I couldn’t have Alexander, I didn’t want anyone else. I would rather be alone on earth. I would rather live in ignorance. Sweet, blissful, heavenly ignorance. I knew I wouldn’t be able to heal otherwise. I knew I would never be able to get over him.

It was the lesser of the two evils. I refused to be mated with his twin, Simeon. I’d never liked him and I never would. I would rather spend eternity in limbo than let him anywhere near me.

“Arianne, do you realise the decision you’re making? Do you realise you will give up your seat here and be mortal on earth? Your memory of us and who you are will be lost in your human life.”

Nodding my head, I smiled, thinking I wouldn’t want anything more right now. I was angry at Alexander. The betrayal of it was coursing through my veins. I wanted out…the sooner, the better.

“I want to do this. It is for the greater good, isn’t it, Father? I will make you proud. I know I will.” I was smiling on the outside, but I felt sick on the inside. I was desperate to just crawl into a hole and never resurface.

My father closed the gap between us. His smile was wide as he grabbed my hand. “I know you will, Arianne. What you are giving up is truly selfless. I’m very proud of you.”

My heart constricted at his words. I wasn’t being selfless. I was being one hundred percent selfish. I wanted it gone, all of it—the agony, the pain, the anguish.

“Are you sure about this, my child?”

Smiling sweetly at my father, I turned to see my mother’s face. She looked troubled. I didn’t know if she knew about what had happened or not. The way she looked at me, had me faltering. Was my decision causing her pain? Could I really do this to her? What if she didn’t want me gone?

But then her face lit up with the most breathtaking smile. My mother was stunning. She was giving me her permission, her acceptance.

“I’m sure, Father,” I finally said. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

With a quick nod, he patted my shoulder. “Then it is done. I will set the wheels in motion. May you make a world of difference, Arianne. And your mother will be there as your spirit guardian. Even though you will never know she is actually there, she will be watching over her beloved daughter.”

Smiling, we all had our last embrace. I was going and I couldn’t be happier. Soon, I wouldn’t feel the pain anymore. I was going to be a baby. A sweet, innocent baby girl who would grow up with a new family and make new friends. I was ready. More ready than ever before.

Let the sweet ignorance begin.

The memory faded, leaving me heartbroken and alone. I now knew that Alexander had never betrayed me. But I couldn’t understand why he took the blame for what his brother did.

“I did it to protect you.”

My head snapped up to find my Alexander—my Stephen. The door was shut and I knew I didn’t need to open it again.

Rising from the floor, I faced Stephen. “What do you mean?”

“The same night we were together was the same night Simeon was with Elizabeth. He followed me and knew what we were about to do. To get me out of the way, he went to Elizabeth. He had always known that Elizabeth held a torch for me. He used the fact he was my twin to his advantage. He wanted me punished. He wanted me out of the way so he could get to you. He knew that if I denied being with her, I would have to prove where I was. I couldn’t do that to you. I had to protect you, Cassie. I had to make sure you were safe from any harm, any punishment your father would unleash. I took the punishment he gave me because it meant our secret would be safe. Your honour needed to be shielded. You had mated with me and he never would have forgiven you for that.”

Walking towards him, I held my hand out to touch his face. “You took all this pain for me? How could I ever repay you for that, Stephen? How could I ever begin to make up for all the hurt I’ve caused?”

Taking my hand, he pulled me close to him. “Don’t you understand that you already have? You remembered, Cassie. You were so strong and determined to fight for us, you remembered everything. Knowing you’ve done that is all I need.”

Finding his lips, I desperately wanted the release of our pain. We were like two star-crossed lovers doomed to fail, doomed to be apart. We defied everything and everyone in our path, refusing to give in. We could be together now, couldn’t we?

Pulling away, I looked into his eyes. “Why aren’t you with me? I’m still dreaming, aren’t I?”

Nodding, he searched my face and stroked my hair. “I will have to go to the Council now and await their decision. We just have to be patient one more time, Twinkles.” He winked.

“I love you more than words can say,” I whispered.

Stroking a strand of hair behind my ear, he leaned down and kissed my hand. “I know you do.”

Feeling the tears burn, I had to say it. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Stephen. I’m so sorry I ever doubted—”

“Shh,” he uttered, placing a finger on my lips. “You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I’d do it all over again if I had to.”

We grew silent for a while, just staring into each other’s eyes. A low murmur of a song could be heard in the distance. It was the sounds of Taylor Swift’s and Ed Sheeran’s voices echoing all around us.

Pulling back, I smiled at Stephen. “Even in my dreams you can play me this song?”

“It’s not in your dream, Twinkles. You’re waking up. You’re radio alarm is playing our song.”

Feeling him being yanked from me, I panicked. “Stephen!” I screamed, not wanting to wake up yet. I was being pulled further and further away from him, and the pain grew faster and harder.

“Don’t worry, Twinkles. Just remember—you are all my yesterdays.”

Waking up with a jolt, I heard those words being played back to me. “All I know since yesterday is everything has changed.” I let the words sink in as the tears fell down my face.

“And you’re all my tomorrows,” I said, smiling.

Chapter 23

Stretching, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt a new lease on life today, and I knew the reason was because of Stephen. My phone chimed next to me and my smile grew wider as my uncle’s name popped up on the screen.

“Good morning, and Merry Christmas,” I chirped.

“Well, I never would have thought you would answer the phone in such a chipper mood.”

If Billy could see me now, he’d have a hernia. I had the biggest grin I think I have ever mustered in my life. “I have a reason to be chipper. Two people I love are getting married today. I can’t believe it’s in a phone box, of all places…but, hey, whatever.”

“You were the one who suggested it, Cassie.”

It still bewildered me how Billy and Chris could have taken me so seriously. “I know I did, but I said it as a joke. I never thought you would take it literally.”

“We like the element of surprise.”

Still grinning, I sighed. “Well, you’ve certainly surprised me.”

“Stop deviating from my observation. Spill it. Why are you so damned cheery?”

I wanted to tell him. I really did. But I didn’t think today was the day to reveal everything. It was Billy and Chris’ day, and I didn’t want anything to ruin it. “I told you. I have a wedding to attend, and—”

“I know, but that’s not it. There’s something different about you. I can hear it in your voice.”

“Billy, it’s not about me today. It’s about you, and—”

“Stop beating around the bush and tell me, woman!”

Chuckling in the phone, I couldn’t help the euphoria. I was on cloud nine, and was stupid to think I could keep something as huge as this to myself. “I opened the door, Uncle Billy. I know who I am. It means Stephen can come back.”

I heard his intake of breath as he screeched into the phone. “Oh, my god, Cassie! I’m so happy for you. Do you think he’ll come to the wedding? I really hope he comes to the wedding.”

Laughing, I thought how much I would want that more than anything. He asked me to be patient, though, so I’d have to be patient.

“I don’t know, Billy. I hope so.”

“Well, at least you’ve got Simeon with you until then.”

My heart lurched into my throat. I felt the nausea burn my stomach as I frantically swallowed over and over again to keep it from piling up.

“Cassie?”

“Yes, sorry. Just felt a bit queasy then.” Closing my eyes, I remembered the feeling of having Simeon’s hands all over me.

“Oh, so we haven’t completely escaped the drinking wrath?”

Hearing Billy’s voice snapped me out of it. “No, I haven’t. What about you?”

“I’m fine. I sobered up pretty quickly when I had my niece to worry about. I wondered whether to call and see if you were okay. You seemed convinced that Simeon was Stephen.”

His name was like a battering ram to my head. I wouldn’t care if I never heard that name again. Hopefully, he is back there now and hopefully, my father will give him the suitable punishment he sorely needs.

“I’m fine. Honestly. He’s not here anymore, Billy. I sent him away.”

“He didn’t hurt you, did he? He promised me he would take care of you.”

Unlike Stephen’s promises, Simeon liked to break his. He
did
hurt me, more than anyone would know, but if it wasn’t for the cataclysmic events of last night, I may never have remembered.

“I’m fine, Billy. He’s gone and I’m happy. What I want to do now is concentrate on your day. Let’s see to it that we make it as special as we can.”

“I’m sure it will be, Cassie.”

I felt my heart swell with absolute pride. “I’m sure it will be, too.”

“When will you come over?”

It couldn’t be soon enough because I was eager to see my uncle. “As soon as I get off the phone with you, I will hop in the shower and get ready. Once I’m done, I will be right over.”

“Good because, frankly, I’m a bundle of nerves.”

Feeling guilty, I closed my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because talking about you helped ease it a little. It was a bit selfish of me, really.”

“You could never be that. I need to go because the sooner I get ready, the sooner I can be there to hold your hand.” And I truly meant it. It was almost like I had had my engine replaced with a brand new one and I was just raring to go.

“Good. I think I need your calming presence now. You always know how to make people calm.” I thought about the feeling I get whenever I’m around an angel.

I didn’t know what this meant now. Does knowing change things? When I die, would I earn my seat back with the Archangels? I wasn’t sure of the answers. What I was certain of was wherever Stephen went, I went.

“Okay then,” I said with a happy sigh. “I shall gear up all my calming energy and bring it with me.”

“Thank you, Cassie. You know I love you, don’t you?”

I felt the tears well up. “Of course I do, Billy. I love you, too. You’re my hero.” And he was. He was there for me when I was conflicted about my emotions for Michael and Stephen. He was there for me when I needed advice on the door in my dream. He offered me solutions every time and I was eternally in his debt.

We said our goodbyes because we both knew we’d end up emotional wrecks otherwise. I hauled myself out of bed, opened the curtains, and was surprised to find this Christmas morning was a beautiful sea of white. The sun was shining, adding to its picturesque beauty. At the park in the distance, I could already see the children out playing in their brand new toys. It was a marvel to watch.

With a smile, I went to work taking a shower and getting ready for the day. I was as high as a kite, singing and dancing as I went. I didn’t quite know what came over me.

As my sheets were in the wash, I set about throwing away all the clothes Simeon wore. I placed his things in a plastic bag, then threw them inside the bin. I still felt dirty and violated after what he did, but my mind was focused on something much more important now and, quite frankly, if it wasn’t for everything that happened, I may never have remembered. It was almost as if it took the events of last night to finally make me see.

With a sigh, I got on with the rest of my chores as quickly and efficiently as possible, and once I had completed the washing and drying of the sheets, I put on my dress and stood there in front of the mirror again, inspecting it. This one was black-and-white sequined. The top part was shaped like a Basque, hugging my body in just the right way. It was beautiful and I couldn’t wait to get out there and celebrate.

Grabbing my bag and presents, I walk out of my flat, closing the door behind me. On the way, I texted Lisa-Marie. She said she would come around in about an hour. All was set, all was ready. Now all that needed to happen was for my Stephen to show up.

When I got to my uncle’s door, I knocked and waited. Once the door swung open, his eyes opened wide. “Oh, my god, Cassie. That dress was made for you. You look absolutely stunning.”

“As do you,” I said, admiring his attire. Billy always knew how to look good. He was like a fashionista. Chris always talked about how he liked to have everything new. Whatever the latest look was, Billy was sure to be wearing it.

“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you in a suit, Billy.”

Adjusting his tie, I knew he was feeling flustered. “This is not the most comfortable of suits, I must say.”

Walking through the door, I offered to help. “Why don’t you take it off for now? The wedding isn’t for another two hours yet.”

“After the length of time it took me to tie this thing around my neck? I don’t think so.”

Laughing, I placed all my things down by the sofa and went over to calm him down. I placed my arms on his shoulders and forced him to look at me. “This is your day. Here is where you are meant to be.”

Seeing the calm radiating all over him, I now realised I must possess the natural gift of being able to relax people. If it helped my uncle, I was all for it.

“Deep breaths, Billy. You can do this.”

He did as he was told and, after a couple of breaths, he looked at me and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Moving away, I went into his kitchen to make him some tea. “Lisa-Marie and Catherine should be around soon.”

“Oh, good,” I heard him shout. “It will be nice to see them again. It wasn’t under the best of circumstances last time, was it?”

Thinking back to the funeral made the sadness come back. I never knew Lisa in the physical world, but it still hurt. I couldn’t even imagine how it would feel for a parent to bury their child. It wasn’t the way the world should work. Parents first, then the children. Nothing could change the fact that a person was going to die. It was the one thing in life of which everyone could be certain.

But today wasn’t about dying. Today was about reliving. Today was about celebrating a true love that I was sure would last this lifetime, and maybe even future lifetimes.

“No, it wasn’t, Billy, but today is different. Today is going to be special. I can feel it. Even with you getting married in a phone box of all places.”

“Sometimes you come up with the most genius of ideas. What can I say?”

“That’s your department, not mine. You’ve been there for me every time, Billy. You got me to see it was Stephen I truly loved and not Michael. You got me to find my head when I was in that dream trying so hard to open a door that wouldn’t open. So simple a solution, but
you
thought of it all. Not me.”

“Anyone could have thought it, Cassie. You just needed someone on the outside looking in. It’s so easy to get clouded with thoughts when it’s your own problems you’re having to deal with. That’s why sometimes it’s so nice to have someone around with whom you can share your burdens. Someone who can listen without judgment and offer a solution.”

I cringed, thinking about my argument with Simeon only a few hours ago. He pretended to be all those things when he was plotting and scheming the whole time. Another angel who thought he was above everyone else. I just couldn’t understand how he could be brought up to love unconditionally, yet he seemed so consumed with hate.

With a smile plastered on my face, I walked over to Billy and straightened his tie. “You’re one in a million, Uncle Billy.”

Shrugging, he waved his hands in the air. “Well, you know, sometimes the world needs a ‘Billy’.”

I laughed at that. How true he was. The world definitely needed a Billy. “Are you feeling more relaxed now?”

He pursed his lips a little in thought. “You know what? I really am.”

Patting his shoulder, I sighed with a smile. “Good.”

The doorbell rang, interrupting any further conversation. “That must be Lisa-Marie and Catherine.” I virtually skipped to the door to answer it. I didn’t know what was quite wrong with me this morning. I had a definite spring in my step. Who was I kidding? I was in love and loving every minute of it. What I had before was a glimpse at the tiniest bit of hope for Stephen and me. Now it blossomed so wonderfully, I thought my heart would burst with pride. I didn’t know what the future held for Stephen and me, but I could go away with the knowledge that I had been strong enough for us. I had broken down those barriers and remembered something no other angel had ever achieved. I could be a little bit proud of myself for that at least. And, okay, a little bit smug.

All I knew was I hoped my father would honour his side of the deal and finally let Stephen and I have our time. Unfortunately, though, I still had this little seed of doubt in my mind that he would let Stephen go quietly. Because I now knew who I was, I also knew just how against our matching he was. No one could help falling in love with one another. I just couldn’t understand how, as a father, he couldn’t see it in him to respect and trust my judgment. I was his daughter, and I had never given him just cause to warrant his ferocity against our being together.

I could only sit and wait, hope, and pray he would let Stephen be with me. Surely my father could see the good in him by now. Surely, by now, he had realised he saw the bad in the wrong brother. I knew my father was a very proud man. I knew him admitting anything of the sort would be like prying candy from a baby.

Whatever worries and doubts I was feeling now had to be pushed aside for today. It was Billy and Chris’ day, and I had to concentrate on them. It still didn’t damp down the hope that maybe Stephen would turn up for the wedding. If I had him there to hold my hand, it would complete the day.

Answering the door for Lisa-Marie and Catherine, I was met by two very excitable girls. Lisa-Marie looked stunning with her auburn locks, light brown eyes, and cream floral dress. Catherine looked equally as stunning with her long blonde hair up in a bun, her cheeks flushed a healthy pink, and a beautiful off-the-shoulder lilac dress.

“Wow, you both look stunning. Merry Christmas.” The hugs began and the shrills of excitement rang throughout the hallway.

“Merry Christmas, Cassie. You look beautiful, too. Where’s Stephen?”

Oh shit. I wasn’t prepared for that. Of course everyone would want to know, but how did I explain? They could both tell there was something wrong.

Stuttering, I managed to get out something that was conceivable. “He…he has really bad stomach flu. He’s been up all night. He feels really bad he can’t make it, but he’s too sick to come. Besides, he doesn’t want to infect anybody else.”