Hold Me Never (Holding Never) (25 page)

“
No, oh God, please...help her,” I wheeze.
“Please help her...”

My pleas continue tumbling from my lips, but who am I
begging?

The Emperor?

The heavens?

Myself?

“
Save her,” I croak. “J-just save
her!”

“
Oh yes.” The Emperor rises from the bed.
“I have been saving her. You'll see,” he says
cheerfully.

“
No, please, please help her. S-she's alive! And
she's in pain. Please...you can't do this...” I beseech.
“Please let her go...”

The Emperor pivots round. “I...can't...do...this?”
he repeats slowly.

I shake my head mutely.

“
Is that what you said?”

I start to shake my head again but without warning, his
hand flies out and slaps me hard across the face.

“
You lie!”

I spit out the blood from my mouth and raise my face to
him. “Please...let her go...I beg you...”

He laughs uproariously.

“
Oh, do that again, won't you? Beg! Go on. Beg.
Beg me, bitch!”

I try to jerk forward, but the shackle and ropes hold me
back. “I beg you, Your Majesty...”

The Emperor stares at me, his lips curling in revolt and
triumph. Abruptly, he marches over to the bed and looks down at the
girl who is more dead than alive. Holding up her leg with one hand
to spread her wide open, he grabs the end of what looks like a broken
bottle neck and pulls it out. Smiling coldly, he rams it forcefully
into her body again. And again, and again.

“
No! No, no, no! Stop! Stop! You monster!
No!” My scream and my garbled words sound so distant and
foreign, like they are coming from someone else, someone far away.

Saliva hangs from my open mouth, as I continue screaming
in silence. My agony stabs through me, the pain as sharp and
tormenting as a broken bottle in my gut.

“
Every time you tell me no, I will do it to her.
Every time you tell me to stop, I will carry on for far longer.”
The Emperor releases the girl's legs from between his two fingers
and throws the covers down in disgust.

“
Every time you say I can't do it, I most
definitely will do it,” he huffs, like a petulant child. “So
there!”

With a snap of his fingers, all the lights in the room
extinguish. Only the chandelier remains flickering, casting an
ominous, blinking light around the room. I turn instinctively
towards the tall arched window and catch a glimpse of the moon just
before it recedes behind the clouds. Even the moon has abandoned me,
hiding its face from me.

The Emperor yanks the thick velvet curtains shut and
strolls over to me. He has taken off his cloak and his mockery of a
military uniform, which had been unabashedly embellished with medals
he did not earn.

Still, he is covered from the neck right down to his
ankles. He is dressed in a white union suit. With his pallid
complexion and gangly frame, he looks like a walking skeleton. One
could almost feel pity for him. Almost.

He strolls over and drags the covers over the tortured
girl, covering her from my eyes but not my mind.

I keep staring at the top of her head, where I can still
see her shiny blond hair. I don't even know her name. Rocking
myself to and fro, I close my eyes against the horror.

“
I'm here,” I whisper in her direction.
“You are not alone. Not alone. Don't be afraid...”

Someone once said that we all die alone.

But not like this. Never like this.

No, no one should have to suffer like this.

“
You are not alone,” I repeat in a broken
whisper. “Never alone.”

A finger taps the side of my face. “Open your
eyes.”

I obey. He has shown me the consequences of courting
his displeasure.

Humming to himself, the Emperor stands before me and
critically looks me up and down. Every piece of my candied clothing
have been eaten or groped away. When he runs a finger between my
breasts, it squeaks down my skin. My body is sticky and gooey with
leftover chocolate and melted sugar. The Emperor sticks his finger
in his mouth and sucks loudly.

“
Interesting...” He smacks his lips.

He leans in and runs his tongue in slow circles down my
neck and shoulder, making a big show of tasting all the sugar on my
body. I shudder in revulsion at the sensation of his rough, sloppy
tongue moving down my chest.

When he reaches my breasts, he licks between them and
continues down to my navel and hips. Moving lower, his tongue
scrapes down my hips and thighs, down my legs right down to my toes.

His disgusting, sticky saliva oozes down my body, and
the wet, dripping sensation is nauseating. I almost retch but I
force the nausea down.

I glance down at his ridiculous long underwear to his
crotch. To my surprise and immense relief, I don't see his erection.
There is no bulge between his legs, even though his union suit is
form fitting.

My eyes widen a fraction as the realization dawns on me.
No wonder the Empress has to force Owen and other young men to her
bed. And no wonder he is covered in a long union suit. He has got
something to hide. My breathing quickens and I find myself observing
the Emperor's bodily reactions with a kind of morbid, suicidal
curiosity and contempt.

I let my eyes dart around, so that my frequent glances
at his flat crotch don't look so obvious. Even after putting his
hands on me and fondling me all over, I don't detect any signs of
male arousal from the Emperor.

And I know from my limited but unforgettable experience
how a man is when he is aroused. Jaxon was so huge and hard, and he
was hard just by looking at me. I remember the passion and fire in
his eyes, his ragged breathing, his parted lips. But despite his
tormenting hunger for me, he was gentle and tender with me. Loving
and careful.

The Emperor is circling me slowly. But there is no
sensuality to his slowness. He seems to be carefully delaying
something. His slowness is not to comfort or benefit me. It is to
mask his own self-consciousness and ineptitude.

While Jaxon was assured and skilled in his touch, the
Emperor's movements are rough, cruel and exaggerated. Like Owen's, I
recall with a shudder. Only without the desperate desire.

The Emperor reaches out and grabs my breasts suddenly.
I gasp as he squeezes them roughly, tweaking my nipples and pinching
my flesh. Tears spring to my eyes, but I blink them back. This
seems to enrage him, and he delivers a stinging slap to my right
cheek.

When he yanks my head back by my hair, I swallow my cry
and blink at him furiously.

“
Pretending, are we? Pretending to be so brave,”
he coos in my ear.

Who is the one who is pretending, you monstrous freak!

Without warning, he backhands me across my left cheek.
This time I let out a scream and start sobbing.

Immediately, he strokes my hair and tilts my head up by
my chin. “My dear, are you...are you crying?” He sounds
delighted.

“
Y-yes,” I sob even louder, making ragged,
hiccuping sounds. “Y-y-yes!”

He smiles and steps away from me. My eyes flick down.
He is still not hard. Even violence doesn't do it for him.

I squeeze my eyes shut and brace myself. A desperate
man will seek desperate measures. The Emperor will be desperate to
hide the fact that he does not and cannot have an erection.

The way to hide it from me would be to pummel me
senseless. Beat me and torture me, to distract me. And to vent his
shame and frustration.

He has vented his impotent rage on the girl, using
things, instead of his flaccid cock, to pierce her.

I feel the ropes loosening around my wrist. Wriggling
free, I bring my arms down and try to rub away those ugly discolored
marks around my wrists.

“
Th-thank you,” I stammer. “Thank
you, Your Majesty.”

I glance over my shoulder at the girl, the screaming
pain pounding in my head and my heart. How can I help her? Is it
too late?

“
Y-your Majesty...”

He doesn't seem to have heard me. He is standing at the
black curtain, stroking the folds with a pensive look on his face.

I have a bad feeling, a very bad feeling indeed.
Whatever lies behind that ominous curtain cannot be good.

Just as I am about to squeak out a plea, the Emperor
pulls a lever by his side and the curtain gradually draws apart.

My eyes grow round and wide at what is revealed. I
clamp my hands to my mouth too late to stop the strangled scream that
bursts from my throat.

Snakes!

So many, too many of them!

Behind a panel of glass extending from one end of the
room to the other are snakes of all lengths and colors. Writhing,
hissing live snakes slithering across the glass panel, rearing their
heads and flicking out their forked tongues. The glass enclosure is
about three times the size of my cell in the dungeon, the cell I had
shared with Hani.

“
Ah, I see that I've got you all excited now. You
look really pretty when you scream. Are you scared? That's good.
That's very good.” The Emperor smiles indulgently at me.

“
No, no...” I shake my head and try to
scramble away, but the shackle bites hard into my ankle, preventing
me from going anywhere.

The Emperor advances towards me, that cold smile frozen
on his face.

“
Ah.” He tilts his head slowly. “You
said no.” His eyes flash with annoyance. He stalks towards
me, his smile disappearing. “You. Said. No!” he spits.

I open my mouth and shut it again.

There is nothing I can say or do that will appease him.

“
I...I'll do anything you want...” I stammer
in desperation.

“
Anything...hmmm. Tempting.” He taps his
chin with a thin, manicured finger. He is toying with me.

After a pause, he gives a dramatic sigh.

“
What's your name again?”

I gulp. ''Zoey...”

“
Well, Zoey...I am sorry. I really am. It's not
you. It's just that you are a woman. And women are like snakes.
Hissing. Venomous. Slimy and sneaky. Slithering all over you.
Judging you with their beady little eyes.” The Emperor slams a
fist into one of the carved columns of his four-poster bed. His
narrow eyes are flashing, and his rage rises with his words. “Do
you see how she mocks me? How she insults me? Before my guests, my
generals! Oh, my dear, you can't! I never thought you could do
this, I never thought you had it in you, my dear. Oh, you make me
laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha!” he mimics the Empress, and laughs
angrily, bitterly. “The woman is evil. Pure evil. All women
are! So you, vile creature, will be going in there, with the snakes.
Where you belong!”

He grabs a fistful of my hair and yanks viciously. He
is glaring at me, but he is not seeing me.

I stare into his wild, crazed eyes. Eyes brimming with
hate and revenge.

He is seeing the Empress, and it is the Empress he is
punishing.

I gasp, suddenly seeing with stark clarity the power
play between the Emperor and the Empress. The Emperor's impotence is
just not physical. It is political.

When the Emperor stopped Owen in the Great Hall, he
wasn't saving me. He was trying to save himself. He had sought to
undermine the Empress's authority, to claim some power and respect
back for himself by denying the Empress's pet his reward and claiming
it for himself.

I am just a pawn.

“
Oh tears! Tears are good. But they won't work
on me. You know,” he says casually. “She can turn her
tears on and off, like a tap. Just like that.” He snaps his
fingers. “One second she's crying her heart out, the next
second she's clawing your heart out!”

My skin starts to crawl when he puts his hands on me. I
wonder if the snakes would feel any worse than his cold, slimy hands.

He strolls towards the glass panel and presses his face
and hands to the glass. “My precious darlings haven't been
fed.” He caresses the glass with infinite tenderness. “They
haven't had anything to savor in a long time.” Pushing back
abruptly, he shrugs. “They look hungry, don't you think?
They'll devour a human body in a matter of minutes, though it would
be more enjoyable if they took longer. What was it she said? Food,
like sex, must be enjoyed, and shared. Isn't that right, Zoey?”

“
Show time!” he whispers in my ear. “Relax,
and enjoy the show.”

He moves his hand, and I flinch. He moves his hand down
my body, to my thigh. Frozen and mindless with terror, I simply
blink at him, waiting for the inevitable. I wait for him to
unshackle me and shove me into the glass enclosure to be fed to his
precious snakes. I just hope that the venom works fast so that I
will be well and truly dead when I am being devoured.