Hold On to Me (32 page)

Stella stopped. She held her chin high and checked his reaction. Luca had sucked in a deep breath, which flared his nostrils and expanded his chest. But he kept listening, his eyes never leaving hers.

‘As for what happened out there just now? I recognised this street because …' Stella dug deep and found every last bit of strength she had. ‘I was here twenty-five years ago at the Supreme Court when my father was sentenced to jail for dealing drugs.'

‘Jesus Christ.' Luca lowered his eyes and squeezed the words out between pursed lips. He reached across the table and rested his hand there, palm up, offering it to her.

She wasn't ready to accept his comfort just yet. ‘Not long after that, I was taken away from my mother and put into foster care. You see, she'd tried to overdose. Almost managed to.'

‘Stella,' Luca whispered fiercely. ‘Give me your hand.'

His eyes were shining with unshed tears and she was almost broken by the sight of such emotion in him.

‘I can't …'

‘I need to hold your hand. Please.' She did as he asked and he lifted it to his mouth, pressing his lips to the back of it. He held it there for a long while.

‘I didn't know what was going to happen to me. Both my parents had come from dysfunctional families themselves and there was no one on either side who wanted me, until a social worker tracked down Auntie Karen. She came down from Queensland and I went to live with her.'

‘At the Middle Point Caravan Park,' Luca said.

Stella stilled. ‘How did you know that?'

‘Ry told me. At Christmas time at Anna and Joe's place. After I'd … You know how wrong I was. I couldn't be more sorry about what I said.'

‘I know you are.'

‘Was she good to you, your auntie?'

Stella let a smile curve her lips. ‘She was eccentric and wonderful and she loved me. I'd finally found someone who did.'

Their plates of food arrived but neither felt hungry any more. Luca called the waiter back and asked him to pack it up for takeaway.

Stella continued. ‘I got to go to school instead of staying home to look after my parents. Auntie Karen saved my life. When she died of cancer, she left me a little money and I'd saved some myself, so I went someplace nobody knew me.'

‘Sydney, right?'

‘Yeah.' Stella stopped there. She felt exhausted and sick. That was enough for one day. Her story was enough for any person to digest, much less one who cared for her as much as Luca did. He knew the bare bones of what had happened with Sully, anyway.

Their food arrived, packed up in takeaway containers. Luca stood, grabbed the bottle of wine and said, ‘Let's go.'

Luca was silent on the walk back to his house, which was just twenty minutes away from the restaurant, and Stella didn't mind. She felt talked out. When he opened the door and ushered her inside, it was twilight, the evening birdsong from the square gentle in the city hustle and bustle. They went directly upstairs and he led her to the bed. He opened the French doors to let the cool breeze in and they climbed on top of the sheets. Fully clothed, Luca wrapped Stella in his arms so tight she almost couldn't breathe. She rested her head against him, felt his pounding heartbeat against her cheek, so steady and true.

‘You take it all for granted when you come from a family like mine,' he finally said, whispering the words into her hair. ‘If there's such a thing as too much love, that's what I had. My parents, two sisters, my nonna and nonno, when he was alive. Aunties and uncles and cousins and second cousins. So many I sometimes forget who's who. That's what I had growing up. That's what I've still got now.'

‘You're lucky.'

‘I never thought about it that way until today.' He let go of her and sat on the edge of the bed. When he stood up and kicked off his shoes, undid the buttons on his shirt, unzipped his jeans and his jocks, Stella realised he wanted to comfort her the only way he knew how.

And when she too was naked, she took him in her arms and accepted the solace of his beautiful body on hers, the consolation of his lips and the support of his heart. They made love in the twilight with a tenderness they hadn't shown each other before. It wasn't just fun. They weren't giving in to a fierce physical lust. This was something else. Something Stella didn't dare put a name to.

Because she knew that calling it love and then losing it would break her for good.

Stella woke the next morning to takeaway coffee and muffins on a tray next to the bed. The delicious aromas helped her wake up and she sat up, still feeling tired, wrung out, cautious. She pulled the sheet up for warmth—she could smell rain outside and the air was cool.

At least she hoped that was what was giving her the chills.

That morning, things between her and Luca were in a very different place. They'd jumped some kind of hurdle into a future together. The thought that she'd opened herself up to a man after so many years was still slightly terrifying.

She reached for the coffee and sipped it. A strong double espresso. The apple muffin was warm and she ate it ravenously.

There was a thudding on the stairs and then Luca was in the doorway. Wet hair, a sheen of moisture on his chest, a towel wrapped around his hips. When he met her eyes, there was a sheen of moisture there too.

‘Morning. I see you noticed the coffee.'

‘It's just what I needed. Thank you, Morelli Constructions.'

‘You're welcome, Boss. You like the breakfast?'

‘I could have got something on the way home. Although it's not half bad.'

Luca walked to her and sat on the edge of the bed. He gazed at her as if he were taking in every detail of her face, and when he met her eyes they stared at each other for the longest while. When she smiled at him and sighed, he kissed her. He tasted like toothpaste and she was sure she tasted like morning breath and coffee but it didn't seem to put him off: he let his mouth linger on hers.

‘I wish you didn't have to leave,' he said, resting his forehead on hers.

She shrugged her shoulders, pulled another piece from the muffin and popped it in her mouth. ‘It's Monday morning. I need to open the shop at ten o'clock.' She checked the time on his watch. ‘Which gives me two hours to get home and change.'

‘My bed will feel empty without you in it.'

Her heart picked up a beat. Should she say it? Did she need to? ‘Well, don't go finding someone else to fill my spot.'

He stiffened. ‘You really think I'd do that? Now?'

‘I don't know. Would you?'

He leant over, lifted the cup from her hands and set it on the bedside table next to the half-eaten muffin. Then he moved closer, running a finger along the edge of the sheet covering her breasts as he brought his lips close to her mouth. The sheet fell away and he cupped her in the palm of his hand, running his thumb back and forth over her nipple. It ached and tensed into a hard bud.

‘The only woman I want in my bed is you, Stella. For now and …' He caught himself and rubbed a palm against his jaw. Then he stood, flicked off his towel and began drying himself.

Stella laid her head back on the pillow, threw an arm above her head and watched.

He grinned at her and she basked in the easy familiarity of the moment.

‘I'll come down Friday night as soon as I can. I'll be there for dinner and we'll have the whole weekend together.' It wasn't a question.

‘Are you sure? Don't you have work to do on this place?'

Luca stopped drying himself and dropped the towel to the floor. ‘I'm coming on Friday.'

‘Luca …'

He climbed onto the bed, planted a hand on the pillow on either side of her head and looked down at her. ‘I'm coming on Friday. Unless you don't want me.' His gentle smile was a tease and then his eyes darkened and that smile disappeared. ‘Tell me you don't want me, Stella.'

She knew what he was asking. He was asking her to say it out loud, to admit what they had. To give in to it, to really open her heart to him. So she decided to say it, to give him the words he wanted to hear, even if the tiniest doubt, those dark voices from her past, still nagged at her.

She looped her arms around his neck and pulled him onto her. His weight, or maybe it was her fear, squeezed the air from her lungs. ‘I do want you, Luca.'

And she was so scared that she didn't just mean for that moment. She felt herself fighting with the part of her that meant forever.

‘You got me,' he said.

Luca was lucky to have survived most of the week with all his fingers intact. He'd been seriously distracted and a seriously distracted man with a nail gun was not a good look. As he drove off the main road and turned the corner into Anna's street in the city's north-eastern suburbs, he stifled a yawn. He felt bone-tired. He'd finished the small job building the pool deck, and had spent the rest of the time tearing out his old kitchen and laundry, hoping the physical labour would stop him thinking about Stella.

Only one more day, and he would see her again.

He'd been thinking, over and over, about what she'd told him of her life. And every time he thought about her parents, two kids with messed-up lives, from the sounds of things, the anger rose in his throat. How could that happen these days? Why wasn't there more help for them so their child hadn't had to suffer? Of course he knew it went on, he wasn't naïve, but he'd never been exposed to it this closely, this personally, before. Not in his family, not in his world.

How the hell had she survived it to become the woman she was today? His admiration for her had only grown. He'd wanted her before, even loved her, but the way he felt about her was different now. Deeper. Real. His instincts had cranked up a thousand notches and he felt a steely desire to protect her. The idea that she'd been treated so badly … well, it tore at him.

He locked his HiLux and walked across the lawn to see Anna already at the front door with Francesca in her arms. And the sight of that beautiful little girl, giggling and shooting him a beaming smile, had him fighting a rush of emotion all over again. How could people hurt their own children?

How could anyone hurt Stella?

‘Hey, Uncle Luca. You're late.'

Luca shook his head cynically at his sister. ‘You're turning into Mum, you know that?' He held out his hands. ‘Hey, bella. Come to Uncle Luca.' Francesca went willingly into his arms with an excited little kick against his stomach. When he'd engulfed his niece in a hug, his strong arms around her chubby little body, she snuggled into him. He stilled, his heart suddenly pounding, and he waited a moment to see if it was going to burst in his chest. This little one would know love in her life: there was no doubt about that.

What had life been for Stella when she was this young? Who'd held her when she was scared? Who'd lifted her into their arms when she was crying and upset? Who'd tucked her into bed with a lullaby and a kiss?

When he closed his eyes, he saw Stella's face. She'd been still asleep next to him in her bed, one bright morning. Her pale face was bare of make-up, her eyelids fluttered shut, her breathing soft. He'd watched her as she'd slept, not wanting that moment to end, yet wishing she'd wake so they could talk and laugh and make love again.

Because that's all he wanted to do now. Be with Stella Ryan. Love her in the way she deserved to be loved, to make up for all those who hadn't loved her.

‘Luca?' Anna searched his face.

‘What?'

She lifted her chin. ‘You look tired. You've got bags under your eyes. You looking after yourself?'

He shook his head. ‘I was right. You are turning into Mum.'

‘Hey, watch what you're saying there, bella. I have stilettos and I'm not afraid to use them. Follow me. Joe's doing a lamb shoulder in the kettle barbeque and if you listen to him, he's the first man in the history of the world to cook a meal over a flame.'

A few minutes later, the table was laden with way too much food and Francesca was safely strapped into her highchair and tucking into her own dinner of pasta and diced lamb. Luca was sucking on a beer and Joe and Anna were sharing a bottle of red.

Luca leant back in his chair. ‘That was good, Joe.'

‘Thanks, mate,' Joe replied with a grin. ‘It's pretty damn hard to compete with your sister on the cooking front but, you know, I like to give it a red hot go.'

Luca smiled half-heartedly, his mind somewhere else, on someone else.

When Francesca rubbed her eyes, spreading mashed food over her face, Stella stood and manoeuvred her daughter out of the highchair. ‘I'm going to put this bambino to bed.'

Joe got to his feet. ‘I'll take her.'

‘Now that is why I love you.' Anna tilted her head up for a kiss.

‘Night, little bella.' Luca stood and gave the baby a kiss on her cheek. She yawned and Joe took her inside.

The Morelli siblings sat in silence for a moment, listening to the gully breezes sweep through the tall trees in the backyard.

‘Can I ask you something, Anna?'

‘Of course.'

Luca paused, wondering where to start. ‘Have you ever thought of bringing someone else in to your practice? Another doctor, maybe?'

Anna looked at him with a curious expression. ‘Yeah, I have actually. Since Francesca was born, I've been tossing up whether to work fewer hours. I'm just not sure about sharing the practice, though. It could get messy and whoever it is would have to have Grace's approval.' She picked out a piece of feta cheese from the salad bowl and nibbled it. ‘Why do you ask?'

Luca crossed his arms over his chest. ‘I'm thinking about going into partnership with someone.'

‘You mean Morelli Constructions wouldn't just be Morelli Constructions any more?'

Luca waited. ‘What do you think about … Morelli Ryan Constructions. Although she'd probably want Ryan Morelli. Whatever. I don't care which order the names come in.'