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It was 2AM. Helicopters kept drowning out the usual night time sounds of crickets and birds. Everyone was tense, even before we started hearing distant explosions and gunfire.

Nobody could sleep. Captain sat with his back against a wall of sandbags, flicking the radio between Rebel and Government stations. The Rebel station claimed their forces were re-grouping for a big advance. The government station barely mentioned the war. The main news was the story that the President had won a fifth term in office, with 98.6% of the vote. Rebel radio claimed the President’s victory was made easier by the mysterious disappearance of both opposition party leaders in the weeks before the election.

I cuddled Sami in the dark as the explosions got louder. Captain flicked orange embers off his glowing cigar. ‘What do you think Dad?’ Sami asked. ‘Is it the rebels or the army?’ Captain took a long puff before he answered: ‘For better or worse, we’re not going to be sitting here this time tomorrow.’

I recognised the sound of a Nissan coming down the road. It was on the undefended side of the roadblock. Me, Captain and Sami ran over, guns ready to fire. The Nissan stopped a couple of hundred yards short of our blockade and flicked it’s headlights three times, which was our prearranged signal for friendly traffic. Captain raised his thumb in the air. The Nissan winked it’s lights again and rolled forward.

Two fat women jumped out, the same two who’d half snogged me to death the day we found Grandma. They spoke to Captain.

‘It’s not good,’ one of the women huffed, all stressed out. ‘Casino got a message that the government is winning. The rebels at the front are in retreat. The army has sent back a convoy of tanks and APC’s to reopen these roads and get their supplies moving. We barely got the news before we came under attack.’ ‘We got buzzed by a helicopter this afternoon,’ Captain said. ‘Did you put up a fight?’ ‘You couldn’t really call it that,’ the woman said. ‘The army had fifty vehicles, half of them tanks.’ ‘What’s Casino saying?’ Captain asked. ‘Casino was killed, at least we think. Maybe a few people made it back to our base, but not many.

Dozens of mercenaries jumped out the APCs and chased after us.’ ‘I think we all got too big for our boots,’ Captain said. ‘We should have stuck with raids and ambushes.’ ‘How long before the tanks get here?’ Sami asked. ‘We know the shortcuts,’ the woman said. ‘And tanks are not that fast, but I’d be surprised if you’ve got more than half an hour.’

Captain ran off and started shouting orders, ‘It’s over everybody. We can’t fight fifty tanks and APCs. Grab what you can. I want everyone and back to camp, fast.’

Me and Sami got our packs and one of the heavy machine guns. We chucked them in the back of a truck. Desi got the engine running. The others passed up more equipment, then a whole bunch of us clambered on top of it. Captain got in the Nissan with the two women. The drive to the camp entrance only took about five minutes, but knowing we were in a race with a column of tanks made it feel longer.

When we got to the hidden road, everyone jumped out and helped move the logs and branches. You could hear the tank tracks roaring in the distance. ‘Showtime,’ Captain shouted. ‘Move it.’ It was hard to tell if the army was minutes or seconds away in the darkness. Our two trucks and Casino’s Nissan raced through the gap, leaving me, Sami, David and Beck to replace everything. The noise of the tanks got crazy and the ground started vibrating. The four of us dropped down low and watched the first tanks roll past.

There’s something horrifying about a tank going at full pelt. The tracks crash and squeal. The roof mounted exhausts belch out choking, black, fumes and the whole things just bristle with power. I imagined what it must have been like for Casino’s men as tanks crashed through their blockade, smashing down trees and pounding their positions with shells.

After about twenty tanks, came a big line of APCs. Then three helicopters buzzed past, flooding the road with beams of light. I hoped our trucks were far enough up the road to camp not to get spotted. ‘Come on,’ Sami said. ‘They need our help disguising the trucks and carrying the equipment.’ The four of us got off the ground and started up the hill. Sami looked at me, ‘You can say goodbye to our easy ride home.’

It took a couple of hours to carry all our stuff up to camp. The army would want to know how all the rebels manning the blockade had managed to disappear so quickly. Captain reckoned there would be mercenaries out searching. We ringed camp with heavy machine guns and kept them all manned.

Adam was in our hut, sobbing. The burns, followed by news of our defeat was a bit more than he could cope with. He looked half dead. ‘Does it still hurt?’ I asked. ‘The one on my arm’s not bad, but my head really stings and I’ve got a headache.’ I scooped Adam onto my lap and gave him a cuddle, carefully avoiding the tender patches of bandaged

skin. ‘How are we going to get home now?’ Adam asked. ‘I don’t really know. I suppose we’ll have to go west and try to make it back to the capital. The cash

Captain gave us should help.’ ‘It’s sad Amin died,’ Adam said. I looked at him, shocked. There had been so much going on I hadn’t heard anything. ‘Did he?’ I asked. ‘How?’ ‘Amo thinks he had a heart attack. She says it happens sometimes after you get badly burned and bleed

a lot.’ ‘Oh,’ I said. ‘It won’t happen to me though,’ Adam said. ‘Amo says my burns aren’t bad at all… If I’d listened when

you asked me to run into the trees, he wouldn’t have got burned trying to save me. It’s my fault he’s dead.’ ‘None of what’s happened is our fault,’ I said. ‘I blame it all on that bird.’ Adam gave me a curious look, ‘What bird?’ ‘The bird that hit our plane. If it hadn’t been stupid enough to fly into the propeller, we never would

have crashed.’ Adam smiled a bit, ‘Yeah… Stupid bloody bird.’ ‘I still think we can make it home. It’s just going to make everything more difficult.’ ‘I was thinking,’ Adam said. ‘If we get home, I bet Mum will feel really sorry for us and get us loads of

presents. Plus, I’m already owed nine weeks pocket money. That’s £54.’ ‘Cool,’ I said. ‘I’ll get £90.’ ‘But I lost my Gameboy, so I’ll have to replace that.’ ‘We can probably claim it on the travel insurance.’

I spent all night wide awake behind a machine gun, twitching every time something moved in the undergrowth. Maybe there were hundreds of men out there searching for us, or maybe they demolished our blockade and didn’t even stop.

Captain needed accurate information. At first light he started sending us out on reconnaissance missions. Me and Sami got the easiest job, a trip down the path to see if there were any troops by the road. ‘Can I come?’ Adam asked. I knew he’d drive everyone crazy stuck in camp all day and we were only going down the path. ‘OK,’ I said. ‘What about my gun?’ I shrugged, ‘I suppose.’ I didn’t have the energy to argue. I was pretty depressed. There’s nothing worse than being tired as hell and knowing you’ve got to stay awake for twelve more hours. There was no sign of any footprints on the path and our trucks hadn’t been disturbed, but when we got down to the road all the branches and stuff were gone. ‘The log’s still there,’ Sami said. ‘And there’s no tyre tracks.’ All three of us clicked our rifles onto automatic. Half the branches were up in the trees. ‘What happened?’ I asked. ‘Helicopters,’ Adam said. Sami nodded, ‘He’s right. If one of them flew low enough, all the branches would get blown

everywhere.’ ‘Shall we put them back?’ I asked. ‘The pilots wouldn’t even see the branches move at night,’ Sami said. ‘But if it happens again in

daylight, it’s gonna look well suspicious.’ ‘But without them, anyone could just drive up this road.’ ‘We can deal with the odd lost truck,’ Sami said. ‘We can’t if the road looks dodgy and the army sends

up a few tanks to investigate.’ I was about to turn around and congratulate Adam for working out it that a helicopter did it, when his

gun went off. He fired three rounds into the bushes. ‘Jesus,’ I shouted. ‘What was that for?’ ‘I saw a man,’ Adam said. ‘He ran when he saw me.’ Me and Sami poked our guns into the bushes where Adam was pointing. ‘Nothing,’ Sami said. ‘Are you sure it wasn’t a leopard or something?’ I gave Adam a filthy look, ‘Everyone within five kilometres heard that, you idiot.’

‘It a man,’ Adam insisted. I walked over to him, ‘Give me that gun. You’ll be lucky if Captain doesn’t whip you for that.’ Adam backed away from me, ‘I’m telling you, it wasn’t an animal.’ ‘How much of a look did you get?’ Sami asked. ‘Just really quickly,’ Adam said. I shook my head, ‘It was an animal. Give us the gun.’ Adam held it out to me and I grabbed it. ‘I’m not stupid,’ Adam said. ‘Even though you think I am.’ I slung Adam’s rifle strap over my shoulder. We started moving back towards camp to tell captain what was going on. Sami believed Adam slightly more than me, she kept her rifle on automatic with her finger on the trigger. Adam was starting to look scared, ‘Will he really whip me, Sami?’ ‘He has to keep discipline,’ Sami said. He sniffled a bit. ‘It really was a man,’ Adam said. ‘Does whipping hurt bad?’ He never got an answer. ‘Drop your guns,’ a man shouted, in a South African accent. There were two of them behind us, with rifles pointing at me and Sami’s heads. We both dropped the guns in our hands. I started sliding Adam’s gun off my shoulder. Adam jumped into the bushes, the mercenaries didn’t seem bothered about him. ‘Put your hands on your heads and turn slowly.’ We turned round to face them. That’s when we heard Captain and Jesus running down the path. They’d heard Adam’s gun go off and come down to investigate. It ended up with Captain, Jesus and the two mercenaries pointing their guns at each other, with me and Sami standing in-between with our hands on our heads. ‘Put the guns down,’ Captain shouted, more in hope than expectation. The mercenaries backed up a little.

‘Put
your
guns down,’ one mercenary shouted. My head was going at a thousand miles an hour, playing out different scenarios. I could see Captain and Jesus getting out OK. I could see the mercenaries getting away. Whichever way you spun it though, you didn’t want to be standing in the middle with four guns pointing at you.

I saw Adam’s head poke out of the bushes, behind the mercenaries. Part of me wanted him to save himself and clear out, but he was me and Sami’s only chance not to end up filled with holes. I wished I’d not taken his gun off him. I recognised the six inch dagger in his little hand as the one I’d told him never to carry again the day before. He got to his feet, put his free hand to his mouth and coughed deliberately.

They both instinctively looked towards the noise. Adam sank his knife in one mercenary’s back, then ran. Me and Sami hit the deck and grabbed our guns. Captain and Jesus opened fire. The mercenary who hadn’t been stabbed fired a few shots off, but only managed to hit the trees. Sami jumped forward on top of the other one and stuck her knife through his heart. The other mercenary got hit a few times, but he had a bullet proof vest on, so they just knocked him backwards into the dirt. Jesus jumped over me and Sami and shot him in the head from point blank range.

Everything went quiet and I breathed a lungful of gunpowder. Adam stepped out of the bushes and picked his gun off the ground. He was all muddy and the bandage over his forehead was hanging off. He had one corner of his mouth pulled up in a sneer and he looked down at me with total contempt. ‘Do you believe I saw a man now, shit head?

I felt crappy. Glad to be alive, of course. But I hated the fact that Adam saved me. I shouldn’t have let him come down the path with us. I’d never stop him carrying guns and knives now. I didn’t want him to kill like me and Sami. When he stuck the knife in, he had his thinking-hard face on. The same face he has when he’s building Lego and can’t figure out the instructions. Afterwards he was full of himself, but I wanted him to stay like when he was little and he used to climb in my bed in his pyjamas and giggle when he rubbed his freezing toes against my thighs.

I said sorry and gave him a piggyback ride to camp. He put his hands over my eyes and mucked about like he always did. His hands smelled of gun oil and there was dry blood and dirt under his nails. In England, he usually smelled like soap. Mum lobbed him in the shower if he went near a speck of mud.

The other recon parties weren’t all back, but Captain knew enough to make his decision. He called me and Sami into his office. ‘It’s time for you three to leave,’ Captain said. ‘But Dad,’ Sami said. ‘This whole area is crawling with troops and hardware. It’s more dangerous now

than ever.’ ‘We’re no longer secure,’ Captain said. ‘We can’t hide the road into camp with helicopters around, which means it’s only a matter of time before more soldiers wander up here. We can kill the first lot, but they’ll come back with more men. It’s not a battle we can win. We have to set up a new camp.’ ‘We could come with you,’ Sami said. ‘If you know where the new camp is, you’re a security risk if you get captured. From the unit’s point of view, this is the best time for you to leave. It’s going to be dangerous for a while. If I was you, I’d try and hold up somewhere for a week until things calm down. Then you can make your journey west to the capital.’ ‘I’m just not sure this is the right time,’ Sami said. ‘When’s it ever going to be the right time?’ Captain asked. ‘Do you want to wait for the next rebel advance? Or maybe until the war is over? That could be years away. What are the chances all three of you will survive that long? About nil I’d say.’ ‘Maybe we could stay with Billy Mango,’ I said. ‘It’s in the right direction.’ Captain raised his hand in front of his face, ‘From now on, it’s not in our interests to know each other’s

business. Keep your plans to yourselves.’ Sami sat in one of the chairs and started to sob. ‘You could come with us, Dad,’ Sami said. ‘What have you got to stay here for?’ ‘No,’ Captain said. ‘There’s a price on my head. Plenty of people in the capital know who I am.

Besides, this lot will be a shambles without me around.’ ‘There’s millions of people in the capital,’ Sami said. ‘I bet nobody will even notice you.’ Captain became a little firmer, ‘Sami, I prayed for god to let one of my children live a full life. This is

your chance and I want you to take it.’ Captain got up and went in one of the drawers of his filing cabinet. He put three big piles of banknotes

on the desk and a stack of papers. ‘What are these?’ Sami asked. ‘I’ve been working on notes for your journey,’ Captain said. ‘I’ve not got a map of your whole route, but I’ve written up everything I can remember. I’ve made a map, with most of the big towns and roads drawn on. Most importantly, you need these:’ Captain pulled three sheets of A5 paper out of the bottom of the pile of notes. ‘Identity papers,’ Captain said. ‘Casino got them off one of his sources for me, before he was killed. They’re the latest design. The only thing is, Adam’s one is for a boy of twelve. It was either that or one for a baby. They’ll help if you get stopped by the army, but they won’t explain what you’re doing out here in bandit country. If you hand them over with a few dollars, you should get through most road blocks and checkpoints.’ Sami put her chin in her hands and let out a loud sob. ‘When should we go?’ Sami asked. ‘Tonight,’ Captain said. ‘Or stay here overnight and leave in the morning. The rest of us will get

moving as soon as everyone gets back.’ ‘I’ll never see you again,’ Sami sobbed. Captain walked around the table and put his arm across his daughter’s back. ‘We’re on separate paths now,’ Captain said. ‘It’s better for all of us.’ ‘Tell Jake about the blood,’ Sami said. ‘What blood?’ Captain asked. ‘On the floor.’ Captain smiled at me, he had a tear down his face. ‘It’s not human blood,’ Captain said. ‘We cut a chicken’s head off and let it run around so the place

looked a bit sinister.’ ‘It’s just to scare people,’ Sami said. ‘Nobody ever died in here.’ I smiled a tiny bit, ‘Certainly worked on me.’ Captain went in his drawer, unrolled the pouch of torture stuff and pulled out the tooth. He lifted his

top lip and held the tooth up to a gap in his jaw. ‘Used to slot in there,’ Captain explained. ‘Have it Jake. Something to remind you of your beloved

father in law.’ ‘Great,’ I said, staring at the brown tooth and feeling sad. ‘In England, your in laws usually get you a

waffle maker or something, but I’m sure this will come in handy.’ ‘Well,’ Captain said. ‘No use standing here getting all slushy. There’s too much to do.’ ‘I’ll give you my phone number in England,’ I said. ‘You never know, you might be able to give us a

call some day.’ I read Catcher In The Rye at school the term before summer holidays. It was OK: miles shorter than the book we did the term before. There was a bit where the mopey kid is going on about how you don’t know you’re going to miss stuff until you’re about to leave. I understood it when I walked around camp.

Beck, Amo, Becky, Desi, Jesus, David, Grandma, Joseph, Ghina and the others: I asked myself questions about them. Would Amo ever find her husband? When would Beck get his first girlfriend? What would Desi get up to if the war ended? But the worst part was, I knew most of them wouldn’t see the end of the war. Mostly, I wondered when they would die.

The road’s weren’t safe with all the tanks and mercenaries around. Everyone could only take what they could carry on their backs: food and drinking water, pistols, guns, grenades and ammunition. The store room had quite a few sets of new boots and camouflage. It was too much to carry spares, so most of us threw our old sets away. The shining boots and clean camouflage looked like everyone was getting ready for a parade.

Captain sent me and Sami down to perform our final duty for the unit. The path was no longer safe, so we stood guard while Desi and Jesus packed the trucks and 4x4s with explosives and ammunition. They rigged it up so they would blow up if anyone touched them.

When we got back to the top everyone was waiting to leave. It doesn’t take much time to fill a pack with and every minute we stuck around was another minute when some bad guys might turn up.

I think Captain had a plan for the unit, though it was best for everyone if me and Sami didn’t know. Sami reckoned he’d take them to a temporary camp deep in the jungle and go to ground for a month. Then they’d move again, to a camp nearer to a road. They’d start doing small ambushes. Get hold of a truck or a four wheel drive, build up a stock of heavy weapons and hopefully make a few recruits out of army deserters. In a few months, Captain’s unit would probably be back to full strength, with some new faces holding the guns.

We all got upset saying goodbye. Adam was crying and hugging Beck and David. I melted when I picked Becky up. She asked if I could take her swimming tomorrow. She was too little to understand I was going away. She smiled and smudged out my tear with her tiny thumb. Sami went along the line hugging everyone. I couldn’t even look when she got to her Dad. Finally Captain came over to me. His face was a wet mess. He reached out to shake my hand. ‘You’ll always be good to Sami, won’t you?’ Captain asked. I nodded, ‘You know how much I love her.’ ‘Have a safe journey. I’ll pray for all three of you, every day.’ ‘You can come and visit us when the war’s over,’ I said. ‘You can baby sit all our kids.’ I realised I hadn’t given him the phone number. He opened up his backpack and jotted it on a corner

of his folded up map. Captain smiled, ‘Do you know, I haven’t used a phone for nearly seven years?’ ‘I’m sure you’ll manage.’ Grandma walked over and looked at Captain. ‘I’m not coming,’ Grandma said. ‘I’ll slow all of you down.’ Amo overheard and came rushing over. Now I think about it, Amo must be the kindest person I’ve ever

met. She did everything for everyone and never asked for anything back. ‘Of course you’re coming,’ Amo said gently. ‘We’ll help with your things. You’re no slower than some

of the children.’ ‘You’ve given me some nice days,’ Grandma said. ‘I’ve enjoyed watching the children. I’ll wander down

to the road and see where it takes me.’ ‘Don’t be silly,’ Amo said. Grandma picked up her pack. All she had was a few pieces of fruit and a bottle of water, but she still

had a struggle getting it over her shoulder. ‘I was here when the war started,’ Grandma said. ‘I’ll do my best to be here when it ends.’ She began taking tiny steps towards the little guard shelter at the top of the path. Amo wanted to plead with her, but Captain held her back. You could tell Grandma’s mind was set.