Hotshot (31 page)

I kiss Claire on the cheek and whisper I’ll call her later then head to for the stairs.

Her words ring in my ears, but I stay strong until I get into my car. Then I scream every nasty thing I want to say to her until I’m hoarse. It feels good to let it out, but I wish I could yell these things to her face.

The whole drive to the marina, the same thought keeps replaying in my mind.

What has happened to me? How did my life get this out of control?

Shaw

Bizzy- First session went amazing! Everyone was nice, and when it was over, I got so many compliments. This is a top rate crew! A few of us are going out for a drink. Love you, talk to you soon.

I read the text twice, smiling at her excitement. I’m not surprised; I knew she’d nail it. She’s perfect for this. Two weeks of preparation, hours of phone calls going over her presentation, and one last minute freak out, but she’s done it. Undoubtedly winning over the admiration and trust of everyone on the floor.

My computer alerts me that I need to be at the doctor’s office in an hour. I sigh and pick up a contract for a new athletic brand that wants four of my clients to advertise. It’s a huge deal, and I can demand more money in negotiations than ever before. But I can’t find the thrill.

I want her here.

In the two weeks since Bizzy left, I’ve gone back to my workaholic ways and am only sleeping at home for a few hours at night. The condo is too empty without her. Gail is about to crawl out of her skin in irritation. I’ve been a cranky bastard.

Our weekend alone on the boat seems like months ago, not weeks. I needed more time. More time to show her how much she means to me. Once she told me about her run-in with Sasha, I couldn’t hold her close enough. I watched her attentively for any signs of regret or uncertainty, but there were none. She was more relaxed and at ease than in the last several months. Playful, loving, kind, gentle, her entire attitude was back to the old Bizzy. The one I knew before I fucked up our lives.

My chest aches as I eye the bottle of scotch and wish I could drink the entire thing. I’ll need it to deal with Sasha, but it’s not my style to show up to a business engagement drunk.

That’s what this has become in my mind, a business engagement. It sounds cold, heartless, and bastardly, but it is what it is. The only consolation is the baby.

I pick up the baby book Bizzy bought and make a few notes with questions for the doctor. This is my attempt at having civilized conversations with Sasha to learn exactly what’s happening with both of them.

Today, we may actually get to find out the sex… which scares me to death. I think back to Bizzy’s question and remember the conversation on the boat.

“Shaw, have you really thought about if you want a boy or a girl?” She nuzzles close, her arms lying on my chest.

“Yes, I’ve thought about it a lot. I want a boy.”

She stills and tension fills her body.

“It’s not about ego or namesake. It’s because I can handle a boy, I can guide him, educate him, and teach him right from wrong. I’ll be gentle, but he’ll be raised the way I was. That’s all I know to do.”

“What if it’s a girl?”

“I’m scared shitless. I know nothing about girls, and her mother will fill her mind with superficial and meaningless things. Not to mention, how she will teach her to be toward other girls. From her past discretions, I’m scared Sasha will be a terrible influence on a daughter.”

“It’s so sad.”

“Bizzy, hear me when I say this. I mean it to the bottom of my soul. If this was us we were talking about, I’d pray for a little girl, because you will be the best influence I could ever ask for in my daughter. I’d want her to be exactly like you. When you and I start our family, we won’t stop having kids until I have that little girl.”

“Shaw—”

“No,” I stop her. “It’s going to happen. Have faith.”

She snuggles into me and kisses my chest. “Okay, Shaw, I’ll have faith.”

Why I didn’t propose in that second is beyond me. It was perfect.

My cell phone rings, and I see it’s Perry. “You calling to brag, or to tell me tonight’s going to be better?”

I refer to his performance last night on the ice. He was on fire, scoring two goals.

“You bet your ass I’m going to fucking kill them. Last night was a warm up.”

“There’s the cocky attitude all the ladies love.” I laugh with him.

“Yeah, speaking of ladies, that’s why I’m calling.”

“Tell me this isn’t going to become a PR nightmare.”

“This isn’t about me. This is about you.”

All laughter stops, and a chill shoots up my spine. “What about me?”

“You and Bizzy break up? I ask, because I respect the hell out of you. Is Bizzy fair game?”

“Hell fucking no! Why would you even say that?”

“Chill, I’m only asking because a few of the players came to a bar for a low-key dinner. Imagine my surprise when she walked up and hugged me. Guys are fighting left and right to get to her.”

Crenshaw Bennett, the sports agent, wants to scream at him for leaving the hotel hours before a game and remind him he needs to be in the zone. Crenshaw Bennett, the boyfriend, wants to know exactly what is happening in this bar in Charlotte.

Guess which one wins out?

“I will kill any fucker who touches her. You need to relay that message.”

He chuckles and I no longer find his cockiness appealing. “I’m serious, Perry.”

“Okay, man, I’ll take care of it. But she’s with some hot chicks. You going to rip my head off if I offer them tickets to the game tonight or Sunday?”

“No, she’d probably love to go.”

“What’s so different about her? Something’s changed since we met. Not just her looks, but her whole attitude.”

I’ve put her through hell
is the first thing that comes to mind.

“Her looks aren’t that different at all. But did she tell you what she’s doing there?”

“Yeah, she mentioned it.”

“Not sure how much she explained, but she’s had a lot on her plate these last few weeks. They lost a patient, and it hit her whole department hard. Today, she had a great presentation, so I’m sure she’s riding that high.”

“That’s probably it. I’d better go. We need to eat fast and get to the arena. I’ve got some ass to kick tonight.”

“I’ll be watching.”

“How about we make a little wager. If I can get a hat trick, you redo my contract and eliminate that additional ten percent you added when I was a prick?”

I can’t help but smile. He really is an arrogant bastard. “Perry Carver, you are looking at a three million dollar endorsement. Do you really want to antagonize me? How about you get a hat trick, win the series, protect my woman from your douchebag teammates, and I’ll
THINK
about reducing the fee.”

He gives a loud whistle and roars in laughter. “You’re an asshole, but I’ve got your back. See ya.”

I drop the phone and think about calling Bizzy then decide against it. I trust Perry to keep her safe, but even more, I trust Bizzy.

An idea slams into me. I search my calendar and buzz Gail. “Gail, can you come in here for a minute?”

“Don’t you need to get going? The appointment is in forty five minutes,” she reminds me.

“Yes, I’m on my way out, but I need your help. How long will it take to get me set up with a fully operational home office?”

“You already have a home office.”

“I should say, a remote office. I need complete functionality with all accesses.”

“Depending on the equipment you need, it could be done within a week.”

“Do it. You have my permission to sign off on any requests. I’ll get it approved on my end.”

“What’s going on, Shaw?”

“After my lunch tomorrow, I’ll need a one way ticket to Charlotte. I’ll have my laptop, but send all necessary equipment to Bizzy’s apartment.”

An approving smile tugs at her lips as she nods. I grab my things and kiss her lightly on the cheek before leaving. “Don’t know what I’d do without you,” I tell her honestly.

When I get to my car, I send an email to my boss letting him know my plans. As expected, he replies immediately with approval, which is humorous because I didn’t ask for permission. One way or another, I’m going to Charlotte.

My palms are sweaty as I open the restaurant door and usher my parents through. It’s not nerves; it’s a sense of urgency to get this over with. Sasha and her parents are waiting on us by the hostess stand, and I immediately feel the heat in her father’s disapproving stare.

“Sasha, Mr. and Mrs. Crane.” I offer my hand in greeting. “Crenshaw Bennett.”

“Claude and Ann,” he corrects me.

“These are my parents, Seth and Maria Bennett.” I wave between my mom and dad.

Everyone exchanges awkward handshakes. My mom looks straight to Sasha’s stomach, and tears form in her eyes. Sasha notices, too, and makes a point to touch her rounded stomach with a sly grin. She thinks my mom is emotionally overwhelmed with happiness.

I know differently.

The hostess takes us to a large table in the back of the restaurant, and I sit between my parents, noticing more disapproving glances from the Crane family.

“I’m glad we could finally schedule this. It’s way overdue.” Ann tries to sound cheery, but there’s a crisp slip in her tone. Presumably, still angry with me from the scene at the doctor’s office a few months ago.

“Yes, I think so, too,” Mom agrees.

The waitress takes our drink order, and we fall back into an uncomfortable silence. I lean back in my chair, waiting until my mom taps me on the thigh.

“I guess we need to address the elephant in the room. This is difficult for everyone involved.”

“Bet your ass it is,” Claude hisses.

“Claude, feel free to speak freely. I’m a grown man.”

“Man! You call yourself a man? Getting your girlfriend pregnant and abandoning her? Leaving her to go through this alone? That’s not a man in my book. That’s a selfish, spineless, coward. In my day, a real man would take responsibility and marry the mother of his child.”

The waitress returns with our drinks and takes our orders. The whole time, my stomach twists in anger. Sasha has continued to lie to them. I raise an eyebrow at her and catch her smirk.

Wrong fucking move.

“I think you have been misled. I am taking responsibility, one-hundred percent responsibility.” I look her parents in the eye and emphasize my point.

“Misled? How exactly was I misled? My daughter sits here five months pregnant with your child, and I understand you are planning to raise the baby separately? To me, that looks like skirting your responsibilities.”

“Sasha, you want to break in here?”

“No, I think my father is saying what we all feel.”

“With all due respect, Claude, Sasha and I never had a relationship. For you to think I’d abandon my pregnant girlfriend is an insult. I understand you’re upset, so I’ll be lenient, but you need to know, I won’t sit here and be the bad guy. Sasha and I engaged in a very, very brief sexual encounter that resulted in a pregnancy. We barely knew each other and had no contact after that. I’m not proud of my actions.”

Sasha’s smirk disappears, and she pales.

“Jesus.” He looks between Sasha and me in disbelief.

“What’s done is done. No one expected this. We’re not here to rehash the past. We’re here to get to know one another.” My dad takes over, kicking me under the table.

The next half hour is mostly our parents trying to make small talk. Sasha and I don’t speak. When our food is delivered, the table goes back to an uncomfortable silence.

“Ren, tell us a little more about you.” Ann looks pointedly at me.

“I’m a lawyer as well, practicing in the field of Sports Law.”

“Sasha says you’re very well known, very elusive in your field, known around the country as the best. It sounds like you have a privileged clientele. That must be very exciting,” she practically gushes.

My mom’s hand digs into my knee under the table. I’m not sure if she’s more upset about Ann calling me Ren, or the fact that she blatantly has dollar signs written on her face.

“I’ve done very well for myself, but I’ve worked my ass off since I started college. Nothing was given to me. I was lucky enough to land an internship in New York City, where I worked under some of the best lawyers. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’m proud of my accomplishments.”