Hotshot (33 page)

“What are you doing? How can you be on your phone with all this excitement?” She waves a hand in front of his face and points to the hockey game going on.

“I happen to have four football players who had games today, including my brother. It’s my job to review their performance. I also have two other hockey players on the ice tonight.”

“Jeez! You’re a buzz kill.”

I pinch her arm until she squeals. “Remember who got you these seats and who’s going to introduce you to Perry later. If I were you, I’d be a little nicer.”

“Sorry, oh Master Shaw, I didn’t mean to make fun of you for being a serious dud.” She winks at him playfully, and he grumbles beside me.

There’s a loud boom, and I jolt in my seat as two players smash up against the glass in a scuffle, sending our entire section in an uproar.

“Come on, you two. Can you at least act like you’re here to have fun?”

“I am having fun!” I defend myself.

“Then have a few beers, jump up and cheer, let loose. It’s only a few hours until you can crawl back into your sex cave.”

I suck in a deep breath and look around to see who heard her, and start to blush when many of the people around us are eyeing me. Shaw chuckles, clearly not caring then leans over to kiss my head. “I’ll go grab us a few beers. I need to make a call anyway. Try to keep the hyena from publically declaring our entire sex life, okay?”

He gets up to leave, and I turn my glare to Claire. “I can’t believe you said that,” I hiss.

“It’s true!”

“But I don’t want the entire world to know. Have a little class.”

She starts to laugh and plops in her seat, turning to me. “You’re the color of a tomato.”

“I’m mortified.”

“That makes me happy.”

“My embarrassment makes you happy?”

“No, the fact that you’re showing signs of being back to yourself. I’ll stop with the comments, but I needed to see for myself you still had some of the old you.”

The buzzer sounds, and the players skate off the ice for intermission. The seats around us start to empty, and we have a small amount of privacy.

“I’m getting better. Having him here with me makes me feel whole again. The two weeks away gave me some clarity, but overall, I realized I don’t want to be without him.”

“Was that even an option?” She sits back and looks at me, stunned.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “A part of me thought, if I got out of the way, he’d find a way to have a cohesive relationship with Sasha. But he’s made it clear that’s not the case.”

“You’d better never, ever let him know you even thought about those things. He’ll go insane. He’s proven time and time again you’re the most important person to him. Damn, I didn’t realize how fucked up your thinking was.”

“I know, but the time away helped me. Now, I have a brighter outlook on our future. She’s going to be a problem. There’s no way around that, but loving him is worth all of it.”

“Absolutely, and she knows, Bizzy. I saw it on her face the day in the hospital when you walked away. She knows it’s real between you two. She’s desperate.”

I don’t want to think about her, so I change the subject. “You sure you’re okay living with us?”

“Of course. Our schedules are so crazy, I doubt it’ll be any kind of problem. Besides, if you think I’m giving up a swank apartment to live in a hotel, you’re crazy.”

“He’d get you a place of your own.”

Her eyes grow wide in disbelief then start to dance with humor. “He really does have more money than sense, doesn’t he?”

“He wants to take care of you, too. He knows how close we are.”

“Well, how about we see how it goes. It’s only another six weeks. I’m sure we can handle it.”

She looks over my shoulder and back to me with a slight head jerk. Shaw sits down, handing us each a beer, and brushes his fingertips down my cheek before giving me a sweet kiss.

The amount of love I have for this man grows with every touch. I know we’re going to make it.

Now, we need to figure out how to deal with Sasha.

Shaw

The last two weeks have been better than I deserve. Bizzy is thriving in her position, helping wherever she’s needed, and even giving input on the policies and procedures being implemented. I haven’t seen her this happy since she found out about Sasha.

We didn’t spend much time apart in Miami, but living together is totally different. I fucking love it. Surprisingly, Claire is fun to have around. I’ll be glad when we get back to my condo, and it’s the two of us, but for now, Claire is a great roommate. Even if she wasn’t, Bizzy wants her here, so I’d deal with it.

My phone rings, flashing Sasha’s name, and I lean back in my chair, preparing for our daily call. Since our family lunch, she calls every day, and as promised, I take the call or make sure to call her back. Typically, she tries to steer our conversation to my work, what exactly I’m doing, and when I’ll be back in Miami. But I dodge her by redirecting the conversation to her. That usually makes her forget her interrogation, and I listen to her drone on for at least half an hour about her life, her work, and her upcoming social engagements.

The phone rings for the third time, and I know if I don’t answer now, she’ll start sending text messages, so I reluctantly pick up.

“Sasha.”

“Ren! You won’t believe what’s happened!” For the first time in my life, I hear cheerful excitement from her.

“What?”

“The baby has moved!”

“I thought the baby had been moving for weeks.”

“But it really moved! I was up all night as he or she kicked and turned. Some of it was uncomfortable, but things were different when I got up this morning.”

“Is everything okay?” Alarm bells ring in my head.

“Yes! I called the doctor’s office, and they explained it was normal, but there’s a chance with the new position we can tell the gender. So I upped my appointment to tomorrow afternoon! They’re going to fit us in late in the day, so you have time to come home.”

Tomorrow? She needs me there tomorrow? Tomorrow is Friday, and Bizzy’s birthday is Saturday. I have a huge surprise planned, which will hopefully end up with her agreeing to marry me.

“Ren? Are you there?”

“Yes, sorry, I’m just surprised.”

“Well, isn’t it exciting? We’ve been waiting for this forever.”

“Tomorrow’s a little sudden. I need to reschedule some things. Is there any way we can do this next week?”

“Next week? Are you kidding me? I had to reschedule things, too, but this is more important. I actually had a chance to go in today, but arranged for later to help give you notice. I figured you’d be heading home anyway since Thanksgiving is next week and Nick has a game on Sunday. This will give us a chance to talk as well. You’ve been gone a while.”

She’s prying, and I close my eyes, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself. She did this on purpose. Even without actually confirming with words, she knows I am with Bizzy. This is an attempt to make me lose my cool, so she can use it against me in front of a judge, if it comes to that.

“You’re right, Sasha. That was insensitive. You caught me off-guard, working on an endorsement deal. I’ll see what I can do. What time?”

“Four-thirty. Do you want to pick me up?”

“No, I’ll meet you at the doctor’s office. I’ll work on a flight now.”

“Should we invite your parents?”

“No!” I say a little too harshly and fight to calm back down. “What I mean is, I don’t want to get their hopes up in case it doesn’t work out. We’ll do this alone, then share the news.”

“Okay, that’s probably wise. Although, I’m sure my mom will still come.”

“That’s understandable.”

“I’m so excited to get this step out of the way, so I can finally set up a proper registry. It’s been frustrating, trying to decide on baby gift items not knowing the sex.” She goes back to her obnoxious self and shows exactly why she’s ready to find out.

“I was under the impression that gender neutral was mainstream nowadays,” I stupidly reply. Why I try to reason with her is beyond me.

“Ren! Where’d you hear that? One of your ridiculous baby books? For some people, it’s fine. But for people like us, it’s expected to know the gender, so we can plan accordingly.”

“Christ, Sasha.”

“Look, I don’t want to fight with you. I’m too ready to get the ball rolling.”

There’s nothing left to say but appease her enough to get off the phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the appointment.”

“If you get in early, I’d really appreciate it if you’d pick me up for once. We can do this fully together.”

“I’ll let you know,” I lie and hang up, throwing my phone across the desk.

How the hell am I going to do this? For the first time in months, I’m at a loss. Usually, I’d take the priority approach and choose my client meetings and games based on importance. But choosing between my unborn child and Bizzy isn’t a choice. Both need me.

I break down and do something I haven’t done in years.

Call my mom for advice.

“I’d expect nothing less than this. You know that, right?” Bizzy mumbles into my neck as I squeeze her tighter.

“It doesn’t make it any better, baby. I’m dying inside.”

“Stop dying. This is really important.” She tries to step away, but I can’t let go, kissing along her head. My chest tightens at the disappointment in her voice.

“I love you. I’ll call as soon as I can and be on the first plane back here. I’m not missing your birthday.”

“It’s only a birthday. They happen every year.”

“Bizzy, I’m going to do everything in my power to be back.”

She stays quiet, and I get a sinking feeling in my gut. “What’s on your mind? What aren’t you telling me?”

When her eyes meet mine, it takes all my strength to remain standing. There’s so much fear and sadness written on her face. “I can’t shake this feeling that everything’s about to change. That our life together is an illusion, and after the appointment today, things will be different.”

“That’s bullshit. Wipe those thoughts from your mind. I love you and nothing is going to change that.”

She doesn’t reply, but kisses me quickly and physically spins me toward the security line. Her statement replays in my head, and an uneasy feeling settles in my gut. It wasn’t only the look on her face or the tone in her words; it was the fear of it all.

The entire process through security, getting to my gate, and boarding are all a blur as I try to think of a way to ease her anxiety. A million things come to mind, but none of them will work until I get back to Charlotte and put that ring on her finger.

When the plane lands in Miami, I get a reminder text from Gail that a car is waiting to take me straight to the hospital. I also see several texts from Sasha, asking about my arrival and picking her up, the last one saying she’ll meet me. Gail explained I was in-flight.

The whole ride, I remember my conversation with my mom as I stare out the window.

“Shaw, you’re juggling a lot of balls in the air right now. At some point, they will fall. You have to figure out exactly how you plan to move forward.”

“I have a plan in place.”

“No, what you have is an idea of a plan. You have no idea how much your life is about to change. Your plan will go to shit. You’ve been living in a realm of denial.”

“How can you say that? Since the day I found out I was the father, I’ve taken steps to ensure my responsibility. I haven’t denied anything. And my plan is evolving.”

“Do you really think shuffling a newborn back and forth is the best thing for the baby? What about if Sasha chooses to breastfeed, or God forbid, there are any complications? I saw it that day at lunch. You’re checked out on this, Shaw. You’re assuming responsibility, but you’re not truly understanding. For pete’s sake, you can hardly look the mother of your child in the eye.”

“I can’t stand her! You know what she did to Bizzy. You saw how callous and self-absorbed she is. Her whole life is about entitlement. There’s not one good thing I can say about her.”

“That’s a problem, a big problem, and only defends my statement about not truly understanding. You tell us how ashamed you are, how hard you’ve been on yourself… All of that’s fine and good, but you have to find somewhere in yourself to gain some sort of kindness toward Sasha. That’s the only way this will ever work.”