How to Build a Fire: And Other Handy Things Your Grandfather Knew (11 page)

Pocket Cash
•  •  •

“You’ve got to save for a rainy day. I’m happy if I got no worries and no bills to pay.”

—A
L
S
ULKA

H
OW TO
S
AVE
M
ONEY

Step 1:
Open a new savings account. You should aim to have three to six months’ worth of savings socked away in case of emergency. Choose an account that carries FDIC insurance, no minimum fees, and, if you can, at least a 4 percent interest rate.

Step 2:
Divert funds. Whenever you receive a paycheck, ask your bank to automatically transfer 10 percent to your new account. Chances are, if you never see it, you’ll hardly even miss it. And if you do, well, then learn to make do. Tiny budgetary adjustments—like making your own coffee at home rather than splurging for a latte every day, or inflating your tires to get better gas mileage—make a big difference.

Step 3:
Revel in your success. Check in on your savings a few times a year to ensure adequate growth.

More Handy Tips

• If you’re planning to start a family, switch careers, travel to Italy, or buy a house, open a separate savings account for the venture and give it a name that means something to you. For example, “Money for my honey,” “My big chance at my dream job,” “Viva Italia!” or “No more couch surfing.” That’ll help you tap into it for its designated purpose only.
  
• Charge yourself interest. Vow never to dip into your SOS fund before you deposit the funds, but if you must, require yourself to pay it back, plus 10 percent.
  
• Hey you, wake up! This money stuff is totally boring but very important. Step it up!
  
• Every night before jumping into your PJs, empty the pockets of your trousers. Any loose change you find should go into a designated jar. Once the jar is full (and you’ll be surprised how quickly it fills up), roll the coins or take the jar to a bank to tally it. Stock this away with your savings, or if you can swing it, designate it as your very own “tip jar” and treat yourself to something fun.
  

Work Well
•  •  •

“People respect you based on your actions and what you do to help others. Work hard and have good ethics. Then if you have a problem, you’ll always have a friend.”

—A
NGEL
R
ODRIGUEZ

H
OW TO
N
AVIGATE
O
FFICE
P
OLITICS

Step 1:
Keep your eyes and ears open. Whether you like it or not, workplaces can often resemble
Survivor
island, minus the torch-snuffing ceremonies. Keep your head down (and mouth shut) and work hard, but also try to understand the relationships around you. Is it coincidence that the new hire has the same last name as the CEO? Probably not. Does everyone play on the company softball team, or is it just the slackers? Which person is revered by all? Know the dynamics of your office. They can help or hinder your career.

Step 2:
Stay positive by being stingy with your criticism and generous with your praise. Gossiping, tearing people down, or whining by the watercooler, even if everybody else is doing it, will always come back to haunt you in one way or another. Instead, find common ground with each person and connect. Maybe you’ll find other soccer players, or
Parenthood
fans, or Penn Staters. There are so many ways to build relationships. Do some digging and mine that gold. You’ll be happier for it.

Step 3:
Work it. Once you’ve built a strong network of allies—and ideally every single person in your office will be your ally—you’ll be able to tap into it whenever you need extra support.

More Handy Tips

• Save the drama for your mama. In fact, spare your mama, too. Nobody likes drama. If you see something going down—tongues wagging, people complaining, plots hatching—stay out of it. Forget about the petty stuff, and work toward your own big vision with passion.
  
• Listen to office gossips, but never participate. They
  will
  repeat everything you say to someone else.
  
• As with all relationships, the more you give, the more you get. Always give credit where it’s due and support your colleagues when you can. When you share your power, it’ll only grow.
  

Command a Room
•  •  •

“If you’re going to make a speech, make sure you know what you’re going to talk about before you get up there. Print it, memorize it, and practice out loud.”

—P
HILIP
S
POONER

H
OW TO
G
IVE A
S
PEECH

Step 1:
Prepare yourself. Know your topic inside and out, and once you’ve researched and memorized all of your points, do the same for the opposing viewpoint. If you’ve done your homework, you can take the stage feeling confident in your expertise.

Step 2:
Have an opinion. Even if you are incredibly brilliant and interesting—and surely you are—no one wants to hear you talk for the sake of talking. Make a point. Prove something. State your case early on and then build it.

Step 3:
Know your audience. While you may make the same argument in your speech anywhere, tailor your jokes and stories to each specific crowd. That means no Lady Gaga references at the retirement home. No Lady Gaga costume at the retirement home, either. Your demeanor and dress should match the audience and occasion.

Step 4:
Take notes. If you don’t have the luxury of a teleprompter, for goodness’ sake, don’t write your talking points on your hand. Instead, practice reading your speech word for word. Then transfer it to an outline and practice reading it from that. Once you’ve got your points polished, transfer them to index cards.

Step 5:
Rehearse. Do it until you have your speech down pat and are able to make eye contact throughout. Deliver it in front of the mirror, your Flip camera, your friends, even your dog, if she’s a good listener. Practice it in different locations, so that you’ll be comfortable anywhere (and won’t be surprised on the big day when you’re not standing in your bedroom). The more you rehearse, the more natural you’ll be in front of a crowd.

More Handy Tips

• Speak to your audience as if you were speaking one-on-one to any person in the audience.
  
• Don’t race through your points. Allow time for them to sink in.
  
• Use plain language. Unnecessary, highfalutin vocabulary words will only make you sound pretentious, not smart.
  
• Make eye contact with your audience, but for heaven’s sake, don’t just stare at one person. That would be so embarrassing for him and you. Move your eyes around the room.
  
• High school government races, sales pitches, and presidential elections have been won—and lost—based upon the ability to give a good speech. Being a good public speaker can alter your entire career. If you, like most people, fear public speaking, you may find help from Toastmasters International or another local group where folks get together to practice.
  
• Never tap a microphone and say, “Is this thing on?” or “Check 1–2, check 1–2.” Just start talking, and you’ll find out soon enough.
  

Aim High
•  •  •

“The benefit of setting goals and achieving them is getting that feeling. To strike out somebody, to drive in a run, to kick a field goal, that feeling you get is better than any high you can get from any drug. That’s about having a goal, having something set in front of you, and searching for it and reaching for it and having it happen. It’s unimaginable.”

—B
OB
K
ELLY

H
OW TO
S
ET
G
OALS

Step 1:
Put them in ink. Grab a pen and paper and write down your long-term dreams, however you define
long-term
. (Depending on your outlook, that may mean ten years from now or ten weeks from now.) And be specific. Rather than say, “I want to be powerful,” say “I want to own my own business.” Or rather than “I want to look great naked,” try “I want to lose ten pounds this summer.”

Step 2:
Make an action plan. Now that you know your long-term goal, write down your short-term goals, or what you need to do today, this week, this month, or this year to achieve your dream. Set yourself up for success by being realistic and starting small. Let’s say your goal is to lose ten pounds this summer (not that you need to, Muscles Malone, but it’s just an easy example). You might jot down: “Today: Find my sneakers. This weekend: Walk two miles a day. Next month: Jog a mile and do twenty-five push-ups every day.” The more you succeed early on, the more likely you’ll enjoy your journey and stick with it.

Step 3:
Reinforce it. As hippie-dippie as this may sound, visualize yourself achieving the goal. Or turn it into your daily mantra. It’ll make it that much easier to reach. So if losing weight is your goal, picture yourself running on the beach in your bathing suit, proud of your body and totally carefree. Or whisper to yourself whenever you have a moment, “I will lose ten pounds this summer.” If someone hears you, and asks “Wha—?” cover yourself. Say, “Oh, it’s a lovely day, and feels like summer.”

Step 4:
Enjoy the process. Frame your goal positively by thinking of it as something you get to do, not something you have to do. Don’t think,
I can’t sit on my couch and eat a pizza while watching reruns of
The Office. Instead, think,
I
get
to run four miles tonight
. Awesome!

More Handy Tips

• Set goals based on what you want for yourself, not what others want for you.
  
• Take counsel from your friends and mentors, but never let others talk you out of your dreams. Believe in yourself, and trust yourself first.
  

Go Places
•  •  •

“Oh, I remember my first car. It was a 1947 Buick super convertible. I walked in the dealership with cash in my pocket. The showman told me how much he wanted. I told him how much I’d pay, and I pulled these hundred-dollar bills out of my pocket, set them on the table, and said take it or leave it. I had all the girls chasing my car down the street. I thought they were chasing me!”

—B
ILL
H
OLLOMAN

H
OW TO
B
UY A
C
AR

Step 1:
Determine the right car for you. First, consider your budget. Not only will you have to pay for the car, but you’ll also have to pony up for the insurance, gas money, any future repairs, and any parking fees. (Your wheels should never cost you more than 10 percent of your take-home pay.) Then consider what you’ll use it for. If you plan on using it to go hiking in the mountains every weekend or to drop your three kids off at school every day, a little red Corvette doesn’t sound like the right fit. Likewise, if you plan on just driving short distances in your sunny, warm neighborhood, you probably don’t need a huge gas-guzzling SUV. Your wants may be different from your needs, but you’ve got to address your needs first.

Step 2:
Get educated. Whether you’re buying your car new or used, it’s important to know the going prices. Luckily, thanks to the Internet, you no longer have to subject yourself to a dealer’s tap-dancing to get some real numbers. Just check the local dealers’ going prices at Edmunds (
www.edmunds.com
) or Kelley Blue Book (
www.kbb.com
), or call or email them directly. However you get in touch, state the year, make, model, miles, condition, and warranty of the car you’re interested in, and ask for the going price. You’ll get a sneak peak at not only the price tag of the car, but also the personality of the seller. Buy only from someone who makes you feel comfortable. If a salesman insults you, intimidates you, or condescends to you, don’t give him your business.

Step 3:
Take a test drive. Once you’ve chosen a car you like, take it out for a spin, and drive it more like Mario Andretti than your old uncle Mario. Really put the car through its paces. Hit bumps, climb hills, take sharp curves, drive fast on the highway, and test the brakes on the side streets. Don’t forget to try all the bells and whistles (sunroof, radio, heated seats), too, before returning the car to the dealer. Then, however much you love this set of wheels, keep it to yourself, hand over the keys, thank the seller, and walk away. Test-drive more cars, if you want.

Step 4:
Negotiate a deal. Once you know exactly the car you want, call around and get a real price from three dealers, letting each one know that you’re ready to buy and are shopping around. Then leverage whatever power you’ve got. Do you have competing offers? Do you have five kids and plan on buying them all cars when they turn sixteen? Do you have the luxury of waiting for a year-end special instead? Be nice but firm, and don’t get suckered into paying for things you don’t want or need.

Step 5:
Seal the deal, always knowing you can walk away at any moment. You’ve got to be equally prepared to do either.

More Handy Tips

• The best time to buy a car is on the last Monday or Tuesday of the month. Not only will the lot likely be less crowded, giving you the salesman’s undivided attention, but many salesmen try to meet a monthly sales quota to earn a bonus. If they’re short, you might get a better deal.
  
• Before buying any used car, get the vehicle’s history at
  www.carfax.com
  , if the dealer hasn’t already done it for you. It costs thirty-five bucks, but it’ll tell you if it’s ever been in any major accidents.
  
• Be as flexible as you can on the extras, and you’ll be more likely to get a better price.
  
• If you don’t have the bucks to buy a car right now, consider leasing one instead.
  
• Always trust your gut.