How to Fall in Love (41 page)

I rattle them off.

“Do you remember what happened?”

I close my eyes and it all comes flooding back. I was talking to Rainer on the phone when a car came onto my side of the road. I was in a car accident.

“I had a car accident,” I choke out, my voice thick with emotion.

“Yes, you did. You had to have some surgery because there was a little internal damage, so you’re going to be sore for a few weeks. Everything is looking good; you’re very lucky to be alive. The doctor will be in momentarily.”

“How long have I been in here?” I whisper.

“Only one night. You have friends waiting outside. Should I send them in?”

Friends?

“Who?” I ask.

“Jemimah and Rainer?”

My heart clenches. “Yes, please.”

She pats my hand and walks out, and I shift my aching body. I sit up as best I can and see there are tubes coming from my hand and one from my stomach. I flinch and cover it with the blanket, not wanting to see it. The door creaks, distracting me, and I turn to see Mimi and Rainer walking in. Mimi sees me and runs forward, gently throwing her arms around my neck. “You scared me, oh God. Mali, don’t you ever do that again.”

“It wasn’t intentional, I promise,” I croak into her hair.

“How are you feeling? Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m sore and yes, apparently so.”

Her eyes scan my face. “I was so afraid.”

I reach over and take her hand. “I’m okay, I promise.”

She turns and glances at Rainer. “He’s desperate to talk to you. I’ll get some juice, okay?”

I nod and she leans down, kissing my cheek before turning and rushing out. Rainer steps forward, and he looks tired and worried. He stops at the edge of my bed and stares down at me, his eyes pained. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice raspy.

“I’m okay,” I say, meeting his brown eyes.

“You scared me. Fuck, Emy . . .”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on it happening.”

“If I didn’t call you so many fucking times . . .”

“Rainer, don’t,” I whisper. “Please don’t. I answered the phone; you didn’t make me.”

“I kept calling, probably driving you crazy. It’s not a wonder you lost control.”

“Please,” I say, reaching over and taking his hand. “Don’t.”

“I’m so sorry, Emalie, for everything.”

I sigh and smile at him. “So am I.”

“I know you think I don’t care about you, but I do, fuck I do . . . I didn’t realize how much until tonight.”

I stare at him, and I can see he’s telling the truth, but it still doesn’t solve my problems. I know Mimi is right; I have to ask him to make a choice. I don’t want to be that girl, but I need to know where I stand. I need to know if he’s going to be able to love me the way I want, or if we’re always going to have this argument, because that’s not fair on either of us.

“Rainer, I need to ask something of you.”

He squeezes my hand. “Anything.”

“I need you to make a choice. I don’t want you just picking me because of this accident and a temporary fear of losing me. I need you to go, take a few days, a few weeks, whatever it is, and really think about what you need and want. I need you to choose, and until you do I can’t be with you.”

“You’re asking me to choose between you and Pippa?”

My heart clenches, and I nod.

“But I’m not with Pip and never will be.”

“But you love her, and even though I get it, I’ll never be able to live with coming second best. I can’t, Rai. First it was you telling her I was nothing, and then you ran out when she got jealous, leaving me with a black eye. I don’t want to feel like that, and I don’t think I have to. I’m not asking you not to be her friend—I like Pippa. What I’m asking is for you to decide which is more important—having her as a normal friend and putting me first as your girlfriend, or having her the way you have her now, and losing me.”

“That isn’t making things easy,” he murmurs.

“No, but I deserve an answer, don’t you think?”

He sighs, running his hands through his hair.

“I’m not trying to make your life hard. You know how I feel about you, and I’m not asking for much, just a choice. If you can’t make that choice, I understand too, but this has to be the end for us. I can’t keep falling harder in love with you only to keep feeling like I don’t matter and never will.”

He leans down, cupping my cheek. “You’ll always matter to me, Emalie. You have to know that.”

“I know I matter, but how much?”

He closes his eyes, keeping his hand curled around my cheek. After a moment, he presses a kiss to my forehead and stands, looking down at me. “Okay. If that’s what you need then I’ll do it.”

He turns towards the door, and I call out his name. He stops and looks back at me.

“I need you to know that I’ll love you for the rest of my life, Rainer. Our connection is different, but it’s there. I need you to know that, but I need you to really think about your choice, because if you choose me, I want you to
choose
me . . .”

“I get you, kid.”

“Okay.”

He smiles a little. “Okay.”

Then he walks out, and I honestly don’t know if it’s the last time I’ll have a chance to be in his life.

Because I really have no idea who he’ll choose.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

NOW – MALI

I haven’t seen or heard from Rainer for two weeks. I know he went away for a bit to clear his head, and I understand that. I came out of hospital two days after my accident and then spent a few days at my parents’, out with them and my sister. It was nice, because they took good care of me, but I’m glad to be home now. I don’t go back to work until next week, so it’s been a good chance for me to get my head together.

Tonight I’m in a moping mood, and have decided to watch movies and eat an abundance of chocolate. Not hearing from Rainer scares me—call it injuries from the past. I wonder what he’s doing—hell, I wonder if he’ll even come back. What if he decided it’s just not worth it? What if he picks neither of us? There’s a solid chance that’ll happen. It kind of feels like déjà vu, and the fear that he won’t return is killing me.

I flop down onto the couch and stare blankly at the movie playing. I’m halfway through when I hear someone calling my name. It takes me a few moments to realize it’s Rainer’s voice, and I leap up from the couch, heart racing, and run to the front door. I fling it open and what I see has tears instantly pouring down my cheeks. I press a hand to my mouth and joy floods my chest.

Rainer is standing on my front lawn, boom box held in the air, “Highway to the Danger Zone” playing loudly from the speakers. He’s got a big grin on his face, and I can’t help the sob that’s ripped from my throat. He walks towards me, boom box still held high, and when he reaches me he carefully lowers it to the ground, flicking the sound off.

“What’re you doing with that?” I choke through sobs.

“I thought of so many ways I could tell you what you meant to me, and nothing seemed right. Then I remember the night you did this for me, and I knew, I fucking knew it was how I could do it.”

“Rainer,” I choke, pressing a hand to my heart.

“Emalie, I know I’ve been off and on. I know I’ve made things hard for you, but something hit me hard when I was away. I love Pippa, I do, but it’s not in the way I love you. She saved me during a hard time, and I thought it was the real deal, but the truth is, when I thought about the love I had for you back then, I knew it was different.”

I make a hiccupping sound and more tears flow.

“I’ve had so much shit in my life, but the moment you stepped into it again, even before I knew it was you, something eased inside me. You made me smile, and laugh, and fuck, you are so gorgeous it hurt. The more time I spent with you, the more I realized that you could change me. When you told me who you were, you did change me. Don’t you know that?”

I shake my head, pressing a hand to my mouth.

“Pippa saved me. I’ll love her for that until the day I die. I’ll always be her friend and I know you’re okay with that, but I should have put you first. I should have chased you; I should have given you what you deserved. Truth is, I was afraid to let Pippa go because I was terrified of taking a step out of myself and changing my life.”

More tears flow and he steps forward, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“Here’s the funny thing about it all. You owned my heart first, Emalie. She came in, she held onto it, but in the end she gave it back to you because it was always yours to begin with. She was just taking care of it until you could come back.”

“Rainer,” I rasp, cupping his jaw in my hands. “I love you.”

“And I fucking love you.”

He brings his lips down over mine, and he kisses me, long and sweet. It feels amazing, so fucking perfect, and this time . . . so damned real.

He picked me.

Oh God, he picked me.

EPILOGUE

I throw a towel over my shoulder and smile at the customers as they approach the bar. Rainer is working down the other end, giving me a sexy grin every now and then. It’s my first week working with him, and so far it’s been amazing. We’ve been dating for six months now, and each day just gets better and better. Last week he asked me to work with him, and I jumped at the chance.

“What can I get you?” I grin at the handsome, tall man sitting at the bar.

“Whiskey, neat.” He smiles.

I prepare it and slide it across to him. He takes it and hands me some cash, and I run it through the till before continuing on. Rainer and I work perfectly together, smoothly, perfectly. We move around each other with little grins and gentle caresses, and we don’t clash. Well, at least we don’t right now.

“Hey there, you two!”

We look up to see Pippa, Tyke, Belle and Max coming in. They all take a seat at the bar, and I grin at them. “Hey you guys, what’s happening?”

“Just coming in to give you some pressure.” Belle smiles.

“Oh yeah?” I wink. “Bring it on.”

She laughs.

“What can I get you?” I ask as Rainer approaches.

“Vodka for me,” Belle says, and Max gives her a sexy grin. “And whiskey for him.”

I chuckle and look to Pippa and Tyke. Pippa smiles at Rainer and he leans over the bar, hugging her. Their relationship has continued on strong, but now he lets Tyke take care of her instead of running every time there’s a problem. They’re both stronger for it, and I’ve grown close to Pippa. I like her a lot.

“What about you two?” I ask.

“Orange juice for me,” Pippa says, and we all raise our brows.

“Since when do you drink only orange juice?” Rainer asks.

“Since I got pregnant.”

I squeal loudly and Tyke laughs, shaking his head. I practically throw myself over the bar and wrap my arms around her. Belle does the same and we all smother her with love.

“Oh my God, Pippa!” I breathe, cupping her face in my hands. “You’re going to be a mother?”

Her cheeks flush and she smiles. “Yes.”

“I’m so happy for you.”

I turn to Tyke. “Congrats, dude.”

He winks at me. “Thanks.”

Rainer walks around the bar and scoops Pippa into a hug, swinging her around. She laughs softly and hugs him tight when he puts her down. “So fucking happy for you, sweetheart.”

“Thank you. We’re pretty happy about it.”

“When are you due?” Belle asks.

I work, and listen to them talk. I’m happy for Pippa. She deserves a baby more than anyone. I know she’ll make an amazing mother, because she knows what it’s like to live a hard life. I look over to Rainer and he winks at me. My heart swells and I mouth an
I love you
, which he returns.

Yeah, maybe one day that’ll be us.

I can’t wait.

~*~*~*~*~

“S
eriously, where are you taking me?” I laugh, grabbing Rainer’s hands that are sitting over my eyes.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you. Now sit still. Your squirming is making my dick hard.”

“Rainer!” I laugh and he chuckles.

I can feel pavement under my feet and cars zooming past, so I figure we’re somewhere near houses. Rainer keeps walking me and finally, he stops. “Are you ready?” he asks.

“I don’t know.”

He laughs. “You’re ready.”

He lowers his hands and I stare in front of me, confused. We’re at his house, standing in front of the big tree in his front yard, but I don’t get it.

“Huh?”

“Look up, kid.”

I look up and gasp, pressing a hand over my mouth. There, in the tree, is the old tree house we used to sit in together.

“Where did you get that?” I whisper, my eyes burning with tears.

“The people who purchased your parents’ old house still had it, so I paid them and they sold it to me.”

“Oh, Rai Rai.”

“Come on.”

He takes my hand and leads me to the ladder on the other side. I climb up, with him carefully going up behind me. We climb into the tree house and my heart explodes with happiness. I crawl over to the piece of old wood we scratched our names in, and there they are, still there as if it’d only been done yesterday. Rainer and Emalie. Best friends for life.

“Oh God, Rai, it’s still here.”

He crawls over, with a big grin on his face. “What do you know? I guess no one else ever found love in it, like we did.”

“I guess not,” I breathe.

He chuckles and shifts us both so we’re sitting off the side, legs dangling like we used to.

“Hey Emy,” he murmurs, and looks towards me. There’s something in his eyes, something intense.

“What is it?”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box, shifting so he’s fully facing me. “There’s something I want to ask, and I know this isn’t so traditional, considering we’re in a tree house, but I can’t think of a better place for it to happen.”

Oh. God.

“I’ve loved you for a fucking long time, but you know the moment when I fell the most in love with you?”

I shake my head, feeling tears burn under my eyelids.

“It was this moment...”

I’m confused, but it all makes sense as he opens the box and reveals the bracelet he gave to me on my eighteenth birthday. He lifts it out and I choke on  a sob as he wraps it around my wrist. I stare down at the words and my heart swells. Then, Rainer takes my hand and pulls out another box.