Husband by the Hour (26 page)

Without words, he begged her to find her release. She stopped, suspended by a connection so strong that nothing could sever it. His fingers danced over her center, moving gently on slick flesh. She saw the promise, closed her eyes and abandoned herself to her fate. His fingers moved in counterpoint to the thrusting. For the second time, she found paradise in his touch.

While she fought for breath and spasms of pleasure rippled through her, he stiffened and called out her name. Her body clenched tightly, bringing him the same release she had known.

* * *

When they'd caught their breath, she slid off him and settled next to him on the bed. Aftershocks swept through him, making a leg tremble, an arm jerk. Nick settled her head on his shoulder and stroked her hair. Her breasts nestled against his side; her knee rode his thigh.

"Amazing," he said, knowing he'd expected good and instead been blown away.

"I agree."

He wondered if she had any regrets. She didn't act like it. Maybe they would show up later. Maybe he should quit borrowing trouble and just enjoy the moment.

"To think I wasted a year resisting you," she said. "We could have been doing this all along."

The thought of it made him want to make love to her again. It also terrified him. "Hey, I said you were pretty. I never said you were bright." She pinched the lean skin around his waist and he twisted away. "Okay, okay, you're pretty and bright. Happy?"

She sighed. "Very."

He continued to stroke her hair, playing with the strands, twisting them around his fingers, then releasing them. "So how long have you had a thing for my butt?" he asked, remembering her earlier confession.

She turned toward him, resting her chin on his shoulder. "Since the first day I watched you walk away."

He winked. "I suspected that."

"Really?"

He kissed her forehead. "No, not really. You were very circumspect. I bet you thought I was a life-form slightly lower than a cockroach."

"Sometimes I did," she admitted. "At first I thought you were coming on to all the female officers. Then I figured out it was only me. I just never knew why."

They were treading very close to dangerous territory. As he often had with her before, he decided the truth would be the easiest answer.

"I liked you."

She studied him for a long time. "As simple as that?"

"Why make it complicated?"

"I don't think many people have liked me. I'm not sure I'm a likable person."

"Trust me, you have some wonderful qualities." He stroked the side of her breast.

She snuggled closer and relaxed her head. Silence filled the room. He stared at the ceiling and tried to convince himself he hadn't made a huge mistake. Even as he fought the panic at the back of his mind, he told himself he didn't actually feel emotionally connected to Hannah. They hadn't done more than make love. Okay, so maybe they'd become lovers, which was a little more, but it wasn't a permanent affiliation. When their time was up, he would walk away. As planned.

Lies and truth. Always lies and truth. If he walked he would be leaving a part of himself right here. He belonged in Hannah's arms. He felt it as surely as he felt the effects of gravity.

Belonging. Caring. Were they love?

Hell of a statement on his life. He was thirty-four years old and he didn't know what it meant to be in love. He couldn't define it and probably wouldn't recognize it if it came up and bit him.

He was sure of one thing. He didn't want to leave her. Make that two things. When their time together was up, he was out of here.

Better for both of them. He couldn't be what she wanted. He didn't know how. So he would walk away with nothing but the memory of how it
could
have been.

* * *

Hannah had finally grown used to dining with a large group of people. She realized she'd been truly accepted when one of the children pointed to the icing she'd left on her plate and asked if she was going to finish it.

Hannah laughed. "Help yourself," she said, passing the plate.

The routine was familiar. The children set the table, the women cooked and served, the men cleaned up. Once the bulk of the dishes were done, everyone came back to the table and ate dessert.

Tonight they were at
Jordan
's house. Holly led the way into the living room, where the adults settled in on the sofas. The children raced upstairs to play games.

Sandy
flopped into a wing chair. "Can I leave my four with you, Holly? You could practice being a mother and give me the night off."

"Sure. I'd love it."

"Ha. That's because they'd be on their best behavior for you."
Sandy
shook her head. "I hate the last few weeks of school. The kids are getting excited about the summer holidays and having trouble concentrating on their classes. And I get to think about all that time at home with nothing for them to do but say 'We're bored. What can we do?'"

Holly looked at her. "Surely it's not that bad."

Elizabeth
laughed. "It's worse."

As the conversation flowed around the room, Hannah was aware that Nick was still in the kitchen helping Louise with the dessert plates. Just thinking about him brought a smile to her lips. Had everyone been able to tell that they'd made love that afternoon? She'd felt sure her happiness was showing on her face. She hadn't been able to stop smiling all evening.

After she'd napped for about an hour, she awakened to find Nick nibbling his way up from her ankles. When he'd shown her that the first two times hadn't been a fluke, she'd gotten her own back by torturing him the same way. She'd never done that to a man before, had never taken him in her mouth and pleasured him. When she'd confessed her inadequacies, he'd told her he wouldn't mind being her first. She'd felt awkward in the beginning, then had relished the thrill of power as she'd driven him mad and led him to ecstasy.

So much had changed in only a few days. Nick had become a part of her life. How could she have survived without him?

The need to see him was too intense. She rose to her feet and headed for the kitchen. The door was partway open. She was about to enter when she heard Louise mention her name.

"Have you and Hannah given any thought to moving up here?" Louise laughed. "I know, I know. I'm being the cliché of a pushy mother-in-law. You both have careers. But it would be lovely to have you close by. There's plenty of family."

"Hannah could always go to work for her brothers," he said. "I'm not sure what I'd do."

Hannah felt as if she'd been stabbed. The lies continued. She could move if there was a job opening. But Nick wouldn't be coming with her. Their marriage was a sham. Worse, he was involved in criminal activities.

"Day care," Louise said. "The way this family has babies, you'd have clients for life."

"Maybe. There is something I've always wanted to do."

"What?"

He hesitated. Hannah moved closer to the partially open door. She could see Nick's back and part of his profile. Louise was at the sink and out of view.

"You'll laugh," he said.

"I won't. I swear."

Hannah cringed. What was he going to say?

"I've always wanted a bed-and-breakfast inn. You know, one of those old restored houses. Sort of like this one. Very upscale, very comfortable."

"I think it's a wonderful idea. There are plenty of houses like that around here. I'll tell you what. You run the bed-and-breakfast and I'll take care of the kitchen. We'll go into business together."

"Sounds like a great idea."

"Hannah can work for Travis. There. It's all settled."

Hannah bit her lower lip. It was a wonderful dream. If only it could come true.

"Louise, there's something I have to tell you about Hannah," Nick said.

Hannah held her breath, wondering what he would say.

"What is it? You sound serious."

"I am. She's a wonderful woman. I know you think you've already learned that about her, but there's more. She can be prickly on the outside. If she gets scared or threatened, she holds herself apart and is distant. Just when she needs a good hug, she takes off running."

"Instead of risking the pain of rejection," Louise said softly.

"Exactly. It comes from how she grew up. Hannah didn't have a lot of love in her life and she's not sure she believes in it. Of course, that's just for herself. She believes in it for others."

Hannah blinked several times before she realized she was holding back tears.

"She volunteers at the county hospital," he continued. "She goes in a couple of times a week and cuddles babies. The abandoned ones. Those born addicted to drugs, or AIDS babies. She loves them all when no one else will bother."

The tears fell and she was too stunned to brush them away. How did he know?

"You won't find anyone more kindhearted than your daughter. But she's put a wall between herself and the world. You're going to have to break that down. Whatever happens, no matter how long it takes, don't give up on her."

Hannah heard a dish
thunking
as it hit the bottom of the sink "Dammit, Nick, you've made me cry and my mascara is running." Louise sniffed. "I know she's a wonderful woman."

"Yes, she is. Don't let her resist you."

"Why are you telling me this? It sounds like you're not expecting to be here when this happens."

Hannah had to clamp her lips together to keep from crying out. Nick was doing this for her because he wasn't going to be around.

"I'll be here. I just wanted you to know the truth about her."

Hannah took a step back, determined to get away before they caught her listening.

"She's lucky to have you," Louise said.

Hannah turned in the hall and ducked into the small guest bathroom tucked under the stairs. Her mother was right. She was lucky to have Nick in her life.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. Tears rolled down her cheeks. How had he known? Who'd told him her secrets?

She didn't have any answers.

She continued to cry softly. For the truth he spoke, for the kindness in his words and for the realization that he'd been wrong about one thing. There was no wall. He'd already torn that down. She hadn't even noticed while it was happening.

There was nothing to hide behind. No escape from the knowledge that whoever he might be, whatever he might have done in the past, whatever he might yet do – she loved him.

Chapter 14

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N
ick walked into the kitchen and poured a glass of water he didn't really want. As he stood there sipping it, he told himself he was acting like a fool. Or worse. He felt as nervous as a kid on his first date.

He and Hannah had become lovers that afternoon. He'd touched her and tasted her and taken them both to paradise. What happened now?

Had their time together been a one-shot deal? Had it meant anything to her? He placed the glass on the counter and closed his eyes. He wasn't being fair. Although he wanted their lovemaking to mean everything to her, he wasn't willing to make the same kind of statement himself. He didn't want to take the risk.

Even as he told himself it was a bad idea, even as he warned himself she could easily blow him out of the water, even as he prepared himself to fail, he turned and started for the bedroom.

He paused in the doorway. She sat on the edge of the bed staring at her hands.

"Hannah?"

She raised her head and looked at him. Her long, dark hair hung loosely around her face and shoulders. Her mouth twisted slightly and there were questions in her eyes.

His heart sank. She was having second thoughts. More than that, she didn't want him and didn't know how to tell him. He wasn't even aware he'd been anticipating being with her until disappointment flooded him. It was all he could do to keep from groaning aloud.

"I overheard you talking to Louise," she said softly. "You never told me."

He tried to remember what he'd said to her mother. "You mean about the bed-and-breakfast?"

"Yes, but that's not what I mean. How did you know about my work at the hospital?"

He leaned against the door frame and folded his arms over his chest. "A friend had a sick kid a few months ago. I went to visit and I saw you getting off another elevator on the same floor." He shrugged, feeling faintly self-conscious. "I couldn't imagine what you were doing there, so I asked a nurse. She told me."

She nodded. "That makes sense. I didn't understand how you'd know unless you'd followed me, but that's not really your style. You don't sneak around in the dark. You come out and say who and what you are."

Ouch. She might be paying him a compliment, but it stung like the lash of a whip. He
was
hiding in the dark – hiding who he really was. In the process, he was forcing her to question her beliefs. He had no right … and no choice.