I Love You Twice (Falling For Him Contemporary Romance Series Book 7) (5 page)

Melissa nervously walked along the path around the lake at 4:30 a.m. the next morning. After thinking about Dean’s early pick-up call, she’d called him back and offered to meet him somewhere so he wouldn’t have to come get here so early.

He’d insisted to pick her up because he hated for her to be out on her own at that hour. How sweet and caring of him! But Melissa had been insistent herself and finally convinced him to meet her at the lake. Now she was pleased to see him already waiting for her.

“Good morning,” she offered softly as she stopped next to him.

“Good morning, angel. Thanks again for the offer to meet me here. It saved me a lot of time this morning.”

“No problem. So what are you looking for today?” she queried.

“That dragonfly I showed you in the diner the other day. I brought my telescoping lens and would love to get some close-up shots for my study. This could be the missing link I’ve been looking for.”

“How long have you been searching for something like this?” she asked, falling into step with him.

“A few years. I’ve felt for a while now that there was at least one species I was missing, and this could be it!” he told her excitedly.

Melissa smiled at how happy he sounded. He did love his work. And she loved to observe his enthusiasm. They walked along the riverside, passing beyond the guard rail that instructed normal tourists to stay out. Lake Perry was home to a natural preserve and only scientists with special permits were allowed to enter the protected area. Since Dean didn’t even pause at the warning sign, she assumed he had one of the coveted permits.

She was so absorbed in watching him and his every move, that she didn’t pay close attention to the trail. Suddenly her feet slipped out from underneath her and she saw herself in slow motion as she fell to the soggy ground. She sat on the ground for a moment, staring up at Dean, who’d quickly come towards her, a worried expression on his face.

“Melissa! Are you okay?”

Melissa blushed, grateful it wasn’t very bright outside. “I’m fine.” She laughed a bit, “I don’t know what happened.”

“Here, let me help you up.” Dean reached down and pulled her to her feet.

Once she was back on her feet, she realized the ground had not only been wet, but muddy as well. She was wearing shorts, awaiting another hot summer day, and now her bare legs and the backside of her shorts were covered in mud!

Looking down at herself, she said, “I’m a mess!”

Dean looked at her and for a moment she spotted disappointment in his face. It quickly faded into worry. “You sure you’re ok? We can leave. You have to be horribly uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be silly! So I’m a little wet and dirty. Haven’t you been waiting for years to find that missing link?”

Deans face lit up; “Well yes, but if you want to get changed, I can go some other day.”

She shook her head; “And take the risk of not spotting that elusive dragonfly? No way. Or do you think I’ll scare it away looking like that?”

He laughed at her in surprise, “You look gorgeous, Mel. Even covered in mud. It’s just, that any other woman I know would be making a scene and demanding to go back.”

“I’m used to playing in the sand and mud with Happy, remember?” The fall had broken the ice and Melissa was excited about the rest of the morning and suddenly wanted to talk.

“Where are we going?”

Dean looked at her in that loving way again that turned her stomach upside down. “Mel, please don’t be offended, but we need to remain silent throughout the walk. Otherwise we do scare the insects away.”

She nodded her head without saying another word.

He smiled at her and continued walking. They trod on in silence, keeping pace beside each other, until he softly grabbed her arm and gestured over to the reeds. Melissa looked to where he was pointing and barely stopped from gasping out loud. There, amongst the reeds, were half a dozen dragonflies!

She was taken aback by the sheer beauty of them.
They look like fairies. Good fairies
. Should she make a wish, just in case? What would she wish for? They dazzled in all the colors of the rainbow, reflecting the rising sun over the like. She listened closely and could hear a slight humming noise as their wings fluttered back and forth.

Dean took out his camera and patiently lied down. Melissa slowly lowered herself to sit beside him and watched. Click. Click. Click. He took dozens or even hundreds of pictures. He was enthralled with what he was doing, and as the time passed, Melissa had lots of time to think.

She looked around and marveled at the fantastic scenery. The sun coming up over the lake, being reflected in all its yellows, oranges, and reds. The dazzling insects she’d never before stopped to appreciate. And the man she loved lying next to her in the mud.
Loves? Do I really love him? How can I know after just a few days?

When he’d finished snapping pictures, after what seemed like an eternity, he turned his head and looked at Melissa. She watched his eyes stare at her, unseeing for several minutes, before he blinked and the light of recognition lit his eyes.

He whispered, “Mel, I totally forgot about you. When I’m working I tend to shut down everything else.”

“It was a pleasure to watch you. You looked like a kid eager to learn something new. You have that enthusiasm all over your face.”

Dean smiled lovingly at her, “Nobody has ever said that to me. Most people think I’m weird. They don’t understand my emotional connection towards those animals. Their beauty and airiness. Usually people are just ‘Oh, insects?’ But not you. You are different.”

“I had that same attitude towards insects. But when you showed the dragonfly to me, it was so beautiful, and it reminded me of the fairy in Peter Pan.
Tinkerbell
. Beautiful, elusive, and magical. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had a little magic wand and asked me to make three wishes.”

Dean got to his feet and reached down to help her up. He stowed his camera around and then pulled her into his arms. Looking into her eyes, he asked, “What would you wish for?”

Melissa stared into his warm blue gaze and felt like he was trying to see into her soul! Normally, she’d have been reluctant to tell something so personal aloud. Because her wish was so personal, she normally would have kept it hidden away, burying the hurt and events that had caused her so much grief! But not with him. When he pulled her into his arms, she suddenly had a desire to tell him everything.

“For a family.” Melissa felt the tears fill her eyes and tried to stem them by sniffing several times. “A family full of love”

Dean could see the hurt in her eyes and quickly pulled her closer to his chest, “You’re safe with me. Do you want to tell me about it?”

She nodded, sobbing openly now as she gave up being strong for the moment and gave herself permission to let her emotions out. She buried her head into his shoulder and cried in his arms.

After a long while, the sobbing slowly faded away and she found her voice. “I’m not sure my parents ever loved me. I’m not sure they even loved each other. They were always fighting and screaming at each other. And I never could do anything right. I wanted so desperately to have them love me. But they never gave me so much as a word of praise.

It grew worse when my father started drinking. He started to hit me when he was drunk. It could be for anything. I was too noisy. I came home too late. The food was too cold. It didn’t really have to be anything. Whenever he became enraged, he beat me up. I learned to tell his moods pretty quickly and would do my best to disappear without a noise when he was in a rage.”

Dean clenched his fist next to his side. He wanted to hit her father in his face!
How could he beat up his defenseless daughter!

Melissa noticed the tension in his shoulders and looked up at him. She could see the rage in his face. The clenched jaws. His inability to relax. She slightly brushed his clenched fist with her finger. “That was a long time ago.”

Dean looked at her, brushed her tender face with his hand, “I promise that I won’t let anyone harm you or Happy ever again.”

Melissa was moved by his words.
If only the story ended there.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “Please I’m not finished yet. I have to tell you everything, because you need to know it all. I want to be honest with you. And tell you what I’ve never told anyone else so far. Not even Annie and Hugh.”

“My angel. I don’t want you to cry again. But if it helps, tell me, I’m listening.”

She nodded and continued, “I started spending more and more time away from home when school was out. I was so hungry for acceptance and trying to find love that I thought attraction and lust was the same as love. I met a boy who was year ahead of me in school named Ric. He paid me a lot of attention in the beginning and made me feel loved. I’d never felt that way before.”

The memories were painful. But she knew she had to come clear. To wipe the slate clean. To have a future with Dean, based on trust and honesty.

“Now I understand he wasn’t looking for love. He was too young. Just like me. He had a crush on me and wanted sex. Like most teenagers do.”

Dean rocked her in his arms to comfort her and it felt so good. Safe. Loved.

“I used him as an escape from my parents and pinned all of my hopes on him. We were both enamored teenagers, and he wasn’t looking at forever.” She paused for a moment.

The pain of the past was overwhelming. It ran through her body and stopped right in her heart. It’s been a long time since she’d permitted herself to think about her “life before”. And the first time, she’d ever voiced the happenings.

“He pushed me to have sex with him. I didn’t want to at first, but I was afraid to lose him. He was the only person who’d ever said something nice to me. I finally gave in to his persuasion and he convinced me we didn’t need to use protection. He told me he’d be careful. This is how I ended up pregnant. It was a shock. I was scared to death.”

She now sobbed uncontrollably and needed a few minutes before she could continue her story. The whole time, Dean held her in his arms, giving her as much strength and support as he could. His worried face and the loving look in his eyes gave her the strength to continue.

“When I told him, he abandoned me, leaving me not only to deal with the pregnancy, but also to tell my parents the news. My father went ballistic. I thought he’d kill me. The way he beat me up that day made me question whether the baby was still alive.“

Dean felt horrible and the sound of her tears was tearing him apart. Kissing her eyes, he whispered to her, “Melissa, angel, please…you don’t have to tell me. It hurts you so much.”

Melissa snuggled into his arms and murmured, “I have to, I need you to know. I need to tell someone and get it over with.

Finally my father calmed down and allowed me to stay in their house, if I wouldn’t bother them. My parents didn’t help with doctor’s appointments, child care, or emotional support. On the contrary, they reminded me, every day - more than once, how grateful I should be to them. That I was worthless and had brought shame on them, that I was a slut, sleeping around, that I was a burden, stupid, irresponsible and many more things I don’t want to remember.

Dean clenched his fists. How could anyone be so cruel, let alone a parent? He’d made his share of stupid decisions as a teenager, and while his parents never approved, they always supported him to right the wrong.

Her tears were like a knife to his soul. He held her closer and wished he could magically make her pain disappear. With every word he loved her even more, for the courage to tell him her tragic past. To trust him.

“They urged me many many times to get an abortion. At one point my father even offered to pay for the procedure. But I couldn’t. I loved my baby; almost from the moment I’d found out I was pregnant. There was no way I could even consider an abortion.”

“Darling. I’m so sorry you had to endure all of this.“

“One day, when Happy was about three months old, she was having an especially whiney day. My dad was trying to sleep after having worked night shift that week, and she woke him up. He was more than furious. I was so afraid he was going to hurt her. He grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the front door. Then he kicked us out of the house. Just like that.”

Melissa shuddered and Dean slowly stroked her back. He’d heard those things happened, but he’d never actually know someone who came from an abusive family. He vowed to himself – once more – to protect that woman from now one. Forever. Always.

“He wouldn’t even allow me to get back and pack our things. I barely managed to grab my purse and a jacket as he physically pushed me and Happy out the front door and closed it in our faces.

It was only a few days before Christmas. My worst and best Christmas ever.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “How that?”

“After wandering in the cold for a few days, I stumbled across an abandoned barn. When it had started to snow moments later, I broke in. It was so cold. Happy hadn’t eaten much and I could tell by her cry that she was weakening. I was so afraid, but by the time we were in that barn, I was done. I’d lost any and all hope and the only thing I wished for was a painless death for Happy and myself. I hugged my sweet baby close to my chest, wondering why the fates would allow me to save her from my father’s terrible temper, only to allow us to freeze to death days later.

So we were lying there, hungry, freezing, and waiting for the inevitable to happen, when suddenly I heard steps and the door opened.

When two friendly strangers, a man and a woman, entered the barn, I was scared but also didn’t trust my eyes. I wasn’t sure if I was already dead or maybe dreaming. Maybe they were angels who’d been sent to get me? They took us with them and saved us. It was the night before Christmas and we had truly received a miracle that special night!”

Dean brushed with his fingers over her hair. The woman in his arms had endured so much angst and pain.
She’ll never suffer that way again! I’m going to protect her with all my might!
He felt so much love for her and he knew it was forever.

“That’s how I came to live with Grandma Annie and Grandpa Hugh.”

As Melissa finished her story, he was so moved.
She’s had so many horrible experiences in her past. No wonder she had mentioned trust the night I kissed her!
Dean hugged her close and vowed to help her learn to trust again.
I’ll help her learn to trust me!

He smelled the sweet scent of her hair and felt the soft texture of it against his cheek. He loved her auburn hair that shimmered golden in the sunlight.

“I promise I’ll never hurt you,” he whispered in her ear.

Melissa looked up at him with her deep brown eyes and he felt his heart trip in his chest.
I’m sure I love her!
Even after knowing her just a few days! And he was determined to protect her from everything.

“We should leave, It’s already past seven. Are you hungry?”

Melissa laughed, “Yes. Starving.”

He grinned down at her, “What if we go to my house? I can fix a fast breakfast for us?”

She snuggled up at him, “Sounds great. And maybe a shower to get rid of the mud?”

Dean almost gasped at her innocent words.
Melissa! Taking a shower in his bathroom?
It was almost more than he could bear. Just the thought of Melissa naked in his shower made him hard, and he went right back to wanting her intensely.