If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1) (18 page)

“That’s not what they were saying at all.”

“Well, it sure as hell sounded that way.” He stood and clenched his fists, taking a step closer to Drew.

Drew stepped back and held his hands up in surrender.

“Enlighten me, what did they
really
mean?” Julian moved toward his brother.

Drew stood his ground. “What they said, man. You’re in love with her, but you’re going to fight it. Which is what you’re doing, you big dick.”

“I’m not in love with her.” He avoided Drew’s eyes. His inner voice spoke up.
Tell him, stupid. You already know.

“You’re in love with her, Mom and Dad can see it, I can see it. You see everything clearly when it comes to everyone else, but when it comes to you, you’re clueless.”

“Fuck you.” Julian turned away from his brother. “Stay out of it.”

“Why? So, you can continue to fuck over Liza to get your way? So, you can miss out on being in your child’s life, because you were too stubborn to admit you have feelings?”

“I’m warning you.” Julian fisted his hands.

“Warning me about what? We spent the first twelve years of our life without a father. Is that what you want for your kid? For your son or daughter not to know who the hell you are? Or maybe after twelve years you’ll come into his or her life. How does that sound? Remember how it was when we first had to deal with Mom and Dad?”

“I’m not saying that.” Julian tugged his ear.

“You and Dad fought tooth and nail from the time we were brought home. What part of this is wrong? You told me before she came over you had feelings for her.”

“I do, but—”

“Well then man the fuck up. She didn’t ask you to get married. She thought you should know she was pregnant. Hell, she didn’t ask you for anything,” Drew said. “And what do you do? You accuse her of cheating on you.”

“I didn’t accuse her of cheating on me.” Julian met his brother’s gaze, flipping his hands over.

“Oh really? I was there. How is asking her if the baby’s yours not insinuating she cheated on you?” Drew paced across the room.

Julian wanted to argue with his brother, but the comment hit him in his gut. Drew was right. “Fuck me.” He dropped onto the couch. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am. Liza and the baby can’t be bought, bro.”

Julian put his hand up. “Let me digest the fact I got Liza pregnant. Come on, I’ve been through two ex-wives with not even a missed period and all of a sudden this one comes up pregnant?”

“Well the world works in mysterious ways at time.” Drew put the cigar in Julian’s shirt pocket and patted him on the shoulder. “I know it hasn’t completely sunk in yet, but congratulations. I hope you can pull your head out of your ass and be a father to this child.”

“Gee, thanks.” Julian glared at his brother.

Drew shrugged. “Have fun figuring this one out. I’m outta here.” With those final words, Drew left, leaving Julian alone with his thoughts.

A baby. He looked down at the couch where the pregnancy test rested. A baby. What the hell was he going to do now?

*****

Liza arrived home with a massive headache. The tears stopped half way home. What was she going to do? Five hundred things ran through her head at once. Her insurance was going to go up. She barely made ends meet on her own, let alone adding a baby in the mix. She’d put away the money she saved from her car payment for baby stuff. Forget quitting her job. She would have to work even harder to make sure she could keep it.

Diapers, day care, food, insurance -- the costs kept adding up. Adoption was a possibility, but she doubted Julian would sign the paperwork. No, one way or another she’d find a way to take care of this baby. Even if it was on her own.

She dropped the mail she had been holding and headed for the kitchen. She yanked a bottle of acetaminophen from the cabinet and read the label. ‘Ask healthcare professional before use if pregnant or nursing.’ Liza put the bottle in the cabinet. Was there anything she could take? She wiped her sweaty brow and headed toward the bathroom. Maybe a shower would help. Her phone chimed. She sighed and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She tapped the screen to see it was from Monica.  

We found out what Julian does for a living.

Liza looked at the text in confusion. What the hell was Monica thinking?  

So?
Liza again headed toward the bathroom. This time her phone rang. It was Kaitlyn. She had not talked to either of them, since the break up, but hadn’t told them. Nor had she told them she was pregnant either.

“Hey, Kaitlyn. What’s up with, Monica.” Liza tried to sound cheerful.

“We know how Julian makes his money,” Kaitlyn accused.

“He works for a pharmaceutical company.” Liza chuckled. She turned on the shower, and waited as she adjusted the water temperature.

“He grows marijuana, Liza. He’s a drug dealer,” Kaitlyn responded. “He sells drugs to kids.”

“You and Monica are out of your minds. If this is how you get your jollies, don’t ever contact me again. I’m done. You’re both idiots.” Liza peeked at the phone, wishing Kaitlyn could see the confusion she saw on her face in the bathroom mirror. “And for your information, everything he grows goes straight to the pharmaceutical company. He helps cancer patients going through chemo. Where the fuck did you get the idea he sold drugs to kids?”

“Don’t all drug dealers?” Kaitlyn asked.

“You’re unbelievable. Both of you. He’s not a drug dealer.” Her need to defend him, upset her. She wasn’t even with the man and here she was defending him to her friends. “He has a PhD in Botany. He’s a scientist.”

“I’m telling you, he’s not as innocent as you think he is. If he’s growing marijuana, he’s selling it to kids.”

“I don’t know where you got your facts, but you’re wrong about him.” Liza wanted to throw the phone across the room. Kaitlyn was being a royal bitch and she had to defend the man she wanted to beat.

“Believe what you want to believe, Liza, but if you get busted over this, we won’t be there to bail you out,” Kaitlyn responded.

“You’re a damn fool, both of you.”

“As long as you’re with Julian, we can’t be friends, Liza,” Kaitlyn stated. “I refuse to be associated with someone who deals drugs for a living. We agree on this one. It’s either us or him.”

“Who’s us?” Liza dropped on the closed lid of the toilet. She was about to lose at least two friends over someone who was absent from her life.

“Shana, Monica, and I,” Kaitlyn answered.

Liza was stunned. Monica had been her friend for almost twenty years. She and Kaitlyn had been friends for fifteen. The gravity of the situation hit Liza.  She stared at her palms. “Wow, I thought our friendship was stronger than this, but I guess I was wrong.” She paused before letting out a deep breath. “You know what? We’re done. I have had too many disappointments in the last week to deal with fake friends. I hope you all have a happy life, but don’t bother including me in it.”

“You’re going to pick him over us?” Kaitlyn asked.

“The funny thing, Kaitlyn. I’m not picking him over you, because I’m not even with him anymore. The only thing I’m doing is ending false friendships.” She clicked off her phone and tossed it on the counter.

Liza put her hands over her eyes and let out a growl and then a scream. She was so mad she couldn’t think straight. She got undressed, got in the shower, and let the water run over her. Her phone rang four times, but she ignored it.

Her headache didn’t get any better, but the tears stopped. Her phone rang again and she checked to make sure none of the missed calls were from her boss. Two were from Julian and two from Kaitlyn and one text from Shana. Liza clicked on her voicemail and deleted all four messages. She blocked Kaitlyn and Monica’s numbers and then headed into the living room. It took her five minutes to build up the courage to read Shana’s text.

We’ve been fighting all week. Moved out this morning. If you need to talk, call me.

She let out a heavy breath before texting Shana.
Thanks. I’ll be in touch.

She gathered the stack of mail she had retrieved earlier and sorted through it. Finding a letter from the bank, she opened it and read it.

The letter included a check for three-hundred and fifty dollars. According to the bank, she overpaid on the interest when she paid the loan off early. She pulled laptop out of her bag and logged into her bank account to check her loan. She didn’t think the insurance company would over pay. She checked the account to see Julian signed the last check and paid the remainder of her balance.

Liza rested her head in her hands and cried again. She picked up her phone and dialed her mother’s number.

“Hey kiddo, what’s up?” her mother asked her when she answered the phone.

“Mom, I’m in trouble.” Tears continued to run down her face.

“What’s wrong?”

Liza proceeded to explain the tale to her mother. Liza talked to her parents about Julian while they were dating. Now, she found herself having to explain to her mother about the unexpected pregnancy and the news on the vehicle. There was no way she could keep the car if he paid for it. It wasn’t right. If it had been the insurance company, fine, but not with him paying for it.

“I don’t know what to do. The bank said they’d give me another loan if I need one. I guess I’m going to have to find something cheap.”

“I’d keep the car. You’re pregnant with his kid. If he’s not interested in helping you than the least he could do is buy you a car. You’re going to need a vehicle to get back and forth to work.” Her mother’s logic was sound.

“I can’t.”

“I know how you feel, but you need a reliable vehicle with your job and a baby on the way.” Her mother sighed. “Why don’t you take my car? Your father and I are more than able to pay for a loan for another car. A lot more than you, at least.”

“I don’t want to do that either.” Liza let her head fall against the couch cushions. Her refusal to owe Julian would cause her parents undue hardship and she hated that. But she hated the thought of owing him even more.

“Do it.” Her mother’s tone was insistent. “You need it and right now it’s important for you to have a job.”

“I don’t have a choice.” Liza rested her head on her hands. “I can’t believe I’m in this situation. What was I thinking?”

“That you love him?”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.” Liza peered at the picture sitting on the coffee table. Jackie snapped a picture of her and Julian at the charity event and printed it for her. Jackie laughed when she gave her the picture. She said, she tried to get one of Julian looking at the camera, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Liza. “I’ve only known him a short time, but when he ended our relationship I thought my heart was ripped out of my chest.”

“Sounds like love to me,” her mother said. “Why don’t you rest up tonight and I’ll come over tomorrow. We’ll bring the car to Julian’s family. You’ll have to bring me home if you’re going to keep my car. I’ll go in on Monday and get a new car.”

“I appreciate everything you’re doing for me and I’m sorry I got myself into this situation.” Liza sighed.

“Things happen, it’s not the end of the world. I’m your mother, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you have what you need,” she stated. “If it gets to the point you don’t think you can handle everything we’ll try and figure out some options. And maybe Julian will come around.”

“Thanks, Mom. And I’m hopeful.” Liza ended the conversation and dropped the phone on the table. Thankfully, she was lucky enough to have a supportive family.

Chapter Eleven

April 15
th

Liza parked the car in Jackie and Everett’s driveway. She let out a deep pent-up breath. She didn’t seen Julian’s car. The last thing she needed was to face him this morning. She slid out of the driver’s seat and headed over to where her mother sat in her car.

Her mother rolled down the window and Liza rested her hands on the door. “Do you want me to go in with you?” Her mother grasped Liza’s hand.

“No, you stay here. I need to do this myself.” She squeezed her mother’s hand before heading toward the door. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

“Let me know if you need anything.”

Liza looked around at all the cars parked out in front. Why couldn’t she found this out on Friday? Why did it have to be Sunday when his whole family was here?

She walked to the door, took a deep breath, and pushed the doorbell.

The door came open and Julian’s brother Blake stood there. “Hey, Liza, come on in.” He moved out of the way so she could enter.

“I need to talk to your father.” She shifted from foot to foot, clutching the straps of her purse. “Would you get him for me?”

“Liza, what a pleasant surprise.” Jackie glided out of the kitchen and over to where she stood. She clasped Liza’s arm and tugged her into the house. “Please come in, dear.”

“Sorry to interrupt breakfast, but I need to talk to Mr. Vitalli.” She tried to muster the most professional tone she could, but with most of the family staring in her direction it made it difficult.

“He’s in the kitchen, dear.” Jackie patted her on the back.

“Thank you.” Liza strode into the kitchen. Her head held high, back straight. Her mother always told her even if you’re not confident you can always fake it.

Everett looked up from the stove and smiled.  “Liza, we’re glad to see you. Julian’s not here. He’s been staying away since you two split.”

The smell of the sausage and bacon cooking on the stove turned her stomach. “I came to talk to you.” She placed the letter from the bank and an envelope addressed to Julian on the table. “Julian paid off the balance on my old car. I want to know who paid for the car I have now.”

“I did.” Everett yanked a towel off the counter. He wiped his hands before picking up the letter. “Julian had full intention of paying, but I figured since it was my wife who ran into you it was my responsibility to take care of the costs.”

“I know how much I owe Julian, but I need a bill from you to pay you what I owe you.” She stood as straight as she could and lifted her chin.

“You don’t owe me anything. My wife ran into you. The least I could do is replace the damaged vehicle.” Everett put the paper down. “And my son may be an asshole, but the last thing he wants is to be repaid for paying off your car.”

Liza covered her mouth as a wave of nausea hit her.

“Are you okay?” Everett was at her side, his hand resting on her shoulder.

She closed her eyes and took a couple deep breaths, letting the nausea pass before continuing. “If you want to file a claim with the insurance company and they agree the vehicle is totaled than I will be more than happy to take the money. However, if you’re not going to take my money, I can’t take your car.” She pulled the keys out of her purse and held them out to him. When he wouldn’t take them, she dropped them on the counter. She had to leave before she puked. “Thank you for the gesture, but I can’t accept it.” She turned and headed out of the kitchen.

Her stomach rolled again.

Jackie began to say something.

Liza covered her mouth and ran out of the house. She managed to make it into the grass before she lost her fight. She hadn’t eaten anything so all she threw up was stomach acid. A hand touched her back and she looked up to see her mother standing there.

“I have bags in the car if you need them, let’s get you out of here.”

Liza stood and wiped the tears out of her eyes. She turned to see Jackie standing in the doorway. “Are you all right, darling?”

“I’ll be fine.” She walked to the car, her mother’s arm still wrapped around her shoulder. Liza ducked into the car and turned to close the door when she noticed Jackie moving toward her mother.

“Jackie Vitalli, Julian’s mother.” She held her hand out to Liza’s mother.

“Sally Thomas, Liza’s mother.” She shook Jackie’s hand.

“I’m going to take a wild guess and say she’s pregnant?” Jackie bit her lip as she looked over at Liza.

“I think that’s a conversation you need to have with your son.” Sally responded. “I’m going to take my daughter home.”

“If you need anything, Liza, don’t hesitate to call me. I don’t care what my son thinks, you’re carrying
my
grandchild. Your care and the care of that child is important to me.” Jackie squeezed Liza’s arm.

“I won’t cut you out and I appreciate the gesture, but I’ll handle this myself.” Liza nodded as Jackie moved her hand and shut the car door for her.

“Anything.” Jackie mouthed before she headed into the house.

“I think she’s going to have words with her son the next time she sees him.” Sally put the car in drive and began to drive down the circular driveway.

Liza caught sight of Julian’s car pulling in on the other side of the drive. “Looks like we’re leaving at the perfect time.”

*****

Julian observed a blue car pulling out of his parent’s driveway. He swore he saw Liza in the departing vehicle, but her car was already parked there in front of his parents the house. The fact she would show up at his parent’s house on a Sunday was bold. But it gave him a chance to try to salvage something of the relationship.

The house got quiet when he came in the room. He scanned the faces all staring back at him. He didn’t see Liza anywhere, but then again, his parents were missing as well. Probably telling them she was pregnant.

He headed for the kitchen.

“After breakfast, I’m heading over to Julian’s and he and I are going to have a long talk,” his father was saying to his mother.

“Talk about what?” Julian folded his arms across his chest. The fact his father planned on having any kind of talk with him told him more than he wanted to know. “Where’s Liza? And what does she want? Because her whole crying and telling me she didn’t want my money was a lie if she showed up here.”

His mother spun around, stalked over to where he was standing, and jabbed a finger into his chest. “How dare you accuse her of anything other than loving you? You’re a selfish, spoiled, pig, and I raised you a helluva lot better. Grow up!”

Julian held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “What the fuck?”

Everett sent him a look of disapproval. “Don’t speak to your mother that way. Why don’t you go to my office . . . I’ll be there in a moment.” He picked up the set of keys, a paper, and envelope sitting on counter and headed for the study.

Julian and his mother locked gazes once again, before she turned and stalked out of the room. He and Liza were going to have a discussion and it wasn’t going to be pleasant. He strode across the living room and into his father’s office.

“What the fuck is going on?” Julian demanded as he slammed the door behind him.

“I have no idea. Please feel free to enlighten me? Because Liza handed me these and the keys to the car saying she couldn’t take the car without paying me.” Everett handed Julian the letter and the envelope. “Then your mother comes in madder than a hornet and chews you out the moment you walk in the door.” He sat down in one of the two chairs across from his desk.

Julian looked down at the letter in his hand as he tried to process everything his father told him.  

“She what?” He dropped into the chair next to his father. He opened the envelope to find three hundred and fifty dollars inside along with the signed title to her old car. “Damn it, Liza.”

“What was it?”

“Money and the title to her old car.” Julian stared down at the letter. “So what all did she tell you?”

“She gave me the keys and told me if I wouldn’t accept her money she couldn’t accept the car. I assume that’s her first payment to you.”

“She doesn’t owe me anything. I don’t want her money.” Julian wadded the letter and threw it across the room.  “I didn’t think about over paying and the bank sending a letter.”

“I’m not sure if she told your mother something or not, but it’s more than the car Liza’s upset about, Julian. You did something to her to make her this upset.”

“And that’s the part that’s none of your business. I can’t handle the situation if she refuses to talk to me.” His knee bounced.

“How am I supposed to clean up your mess if I don’t know all the details?” Everett scrutinized every move his son made.

“There’s no mess to clean up. I’ll give her a week or two to calm down and then I’ll deal with this. Don’t worry, I’ll figure out a way to set things straight.” Julian shifted in his chair. First one side and then the other.

“I can tell by the way you’re fidgeting there’s something more. Spit it out, son.”

Julian his father’s gaze. “She’s pregnant.”

“She’s what?” Everett’s eyes widened. “Well that explains some things. No wonder your mother’s upset.”

“What do you mean?” Julian’s eyes narrowed.

“Liza appeared a little queasy while she was here. I thought she was going to throw up. She ran out of the house and your mother followed. When Mom came in she was livid.” Everett undid the top button of his blue shirt.

“Mom would assumed pregnancy if she was throwing up.” Julian shook his head. “I didn’t react to the news the best.”

“She’s pretty pissed, Julian. I’d say you screwed up royally.”

“You could say that.”

“What’d you do? Ask her if it was yours?”

“I said the wrong thing and she left. It surprised me when I saw her car here, because she wasn’t happy last night.”

“What are you going to do?” Everett steepled his fingers. “She’s pregnant with your child. Even if you have no feelings for this woman . . . which I don’t think is the case . . . it’s your responsibility to take care of her and the baby.”

“She doesn’t want my money. She gave you the car back.”

Everett gestured for his son to come a little closer. When Julian leaned in, Everett smacked him in the back of his head. “Taking care of someone isn’t all about money and things.”

Julian rubbed his head. He should have seen that coming. “I’m not ready to make any commitments. I don’t know what I want. I’ve been married twice.”

“Your two ex-wives wanted two things from you. The first being your money and the second being the drugs you grow in your basement. They wouldn’t have hesitated in taking the car no matter who paid for it. And believe me, if they had gotten pregnant, they would have sued you for everything you’re worth.” Everett placed his hand on his son’s shoulders. “Liza’s not like them.”

“I know she’s not like them, but it doesn’t stop me from questioning everything, because of my past experience.”

“Come here, son.” Everett motioned for Julian to lean in again.

“No thanks.” Julian sat back in the chair to avoid being smacked — whether he needed it or not — again. “I need to figure things out before I can even think about working out my relationship with Liza. Let me do this on my own time and in my own way.”

“Yeah – look how well it’s worked for you so far.”

Julian stood the last thing he needed was to hear more of the lecture from his father.  “Let me live my own life, please?” He headed out of the room.

*****

April 21
st

Liza sat in the living room of the visitation house her head in her hands, her elbows on the desk. Her week sucked. Between the constant nausea, the back-to-back visitations, and the endless hours of driving, she was exhausted. Tomorrow was her day off at least. Sleeping in sounded like a wonderful idea.

Her phone chimed, a text from an unknown number, she opened it to read it.

It’s Kaitlyn. Give me a call. Really, if Julian’s not in the picture there’s no reason for us not to be friends.

Liza deleted the message. She grabbed a package of crackers she’d been carrying with her, they helped fight the nausea. Another text message, this one from Julian.

We need to talk, call me.

Liza laughed. He thought he was calling the shots. No way.

The door opened. “Liza? Are you here?” Kate called to her.

Liza stood and headed into the dining area to meet Kate. “I’m here.”

“Oh good, can we talk?” Kate straightened her three quarter sleeved blue blazer and rested her bag on the table.  

“Sure.” Liza sat down at the table across from her boss.

Kate sighed. “I’ve been getting complaints you’re not answering your phone again.”

“I didn’t think I had to answer calls after nine? I mean, if they’re from you or Trina I do, but if it’s a client, I call in the morning. I haven’t missed any calls.”

Kate scowled. “Trina complained you didn’t answer her call the other night and said you never called her.” She scanned through her appointment book until she found the right note and tapped her finger on the date. “It was last Saturday.”