Later that
night, I fall into bed, more exhausted than I’ve felt in a long time. Who needs wine when you have a toddler to wear you out? Reflecting back on the evening, I realize that I haven’t had such a good day in a very long time. Finally getting a moment to myself now that Ava is successfully passed out next to me, I think back on the offer I received tonight from Sierra and Jeremy.
When I went to pick up her up earlier this afternoon, Jeremy gave me a quick hug as he greeted me.
“Hey, long time no see! How ya doin’, sis?” he asked.
Hugging him back, I answered, “One day at a time, Jeremy.”
“Well, what’d you think about our proposition? A little fun in the sun can help cheer anyone up!” he responded, thoroughly confusing me.
“Wha—?” I started to ask when Sierra walked in, swatting Jeremy on the behind.
“Jeremy! I told you I didn’t get a chance to ask her, dammit!” Sierra scolded him.
I looked back and forth between them, wondering what the hell I was missing.
“I know you probably won’t believe this, but I didn’t come by this morning to grill you,” Sierra said.
“Okay…” I hesitated, curious as to where this was going.
Sierra picked up Ava as she ran around the corner. “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but our ten-year reunion is happening this summer. Jeremy and I really want to go, and some of our old friends want to meet Ava. There are going to be family events as well as adult ones. Obviously, we can’t take her to the bar nights, so that’s where you would come in.”
“What does this have to do with me?” I asked, still confused as to how I would have anything to do with this. I graduated the year behind them, so there’s no reason for me to be at the reunion.
“Well, we were hoping you’d agree to go with us to watch her while we go out with all our old classmates. You can also come out, too, whenever you get a chance. You practically hung out with all of my friends before we graduated anyway.”
“Umm, thanks for the offer, Sierra, but I don’t think I can afford to take the time off work and pay for a vacation right now,” I answered.
Then Jeremy piped up. “Oh, no, Lexi, we’ll be paying for you to go. After all, it’ll be like you’re a nanny on vacation. The perks are that you’ll get to see some of your old high school friends that you haven’t seen since your family moved away before your senior year.”
“Please, please, please say you’ll go. It would be such a great help, and Ava loves being around you anyway,” Sierra said, sticking out her bottom lip in a little pout.
“Please, Aunt Lexi! Please!” Ava exclaimed, joining in on the pleading.
“I know I’m going to regret this, but fine. I just can’t say no to that face, and especially not to an all-expenses paid vacation to the Emerald Coast on the Florida Panhandle.”
“Oh, great! Thank you so much. It’s going to be so much fun!” Sierra shouted as she wrapped me up in a hug.
“Okay, okay, I agreed to go. So when is this thing anyway?”
Sierra looked at Jeremy before answering, “It’s not until the end of July, so you have a few months to give your boss notice. Oh, and there’s one more thing I forgot to mention.”
I had no idea what she could possibly say that would matter at that point until I heard the words fall from her lips.
“Jace McAllister will be there.”
Now that
I have time to think, I realize that it’s been a really long time since I let Jace McAllister enter my thoughts, and it’s been even longer since I’ve seen him.
When I was a junior in high school, Jace was a senior and the star of the Navarre High School baseball team. He was gorgeous, and every girl in high school wanted to catch his eye. As the second baseman, he was tall on his six foot four muscular frame. When he played, his bright blue eyes lit up every time he tagged the base to get another out. He was a machine at second base, and I remember lustful thoughts consuming me every time he took the field. I can practically still picture him taking his hat off and running his hands through his dark hair before replacing the hat again. He did it after every out, almost like it was a ritual to him. Occasionally he’d look up into the stands and catch me staring. He’d shoot me a wink before bending back down to watch the batter. I remember sitting in the stands, fantasizing that he was running those large hands through my hair, down my body, in between my legs. Suffice it to say, I didn’t miss a single one of Navarre High School’s baseball games.
I had watched Jace play with fascination for the past three years in high school, and he’d definitely given me a new appreciation for tight baseball pants. I loved seeing him in them, but hell if I didn’t imagine him taking them off. He always wore his pants old-school style, with them rolled just below the knee, and I loved that. The tight baseball socks showed the definition in his calf muscles, and my eyes were always drawn to them as they flexed when he stretched.
We’d actually become friends pretty quickly my freshman year, as I was a Diamond Girl, helping out with stats and concessions at the games in order to earn some community service credit. He had always gone out of his way to talk to me as we fell into an easy, comfortable friendship, but it never went beyond that. With our combined love of baseball, we ended up spending more and more time together over the years, watching the Braves and the Reds when we could as we put off studying. By the beginning of my sophomore year, we were practically inseparable. In fact, he started coming around so often that my mom began to set a place for him at the dinner table. We became as close as two friends could be, even when we found ourselves dating other people. Looking back, I don’t think my high school boyfriends really appreciated my close friendship with Jace, and I can’t say I can blame them. He was gorgeous and we were always together. They probably could sense that deep down I wanted more, not that I ever said it out loud. I knew I was in the friend zone where Jace was concerned. Sure, he’d flirt with me a bit here or there, but I never took it seriously. I mean, come on, he was Jace, Baseball God, and I was Sierra Sullivan’s little sister. One of the guys. Never in a million years did I ever expect Jace to feel the same. At least that’s what I told myself. And then my world turned upside down on the night of his graduation.
Since Jace and Sierra graduated in the same class and we all ran in the same circles, I was invited to the graduation party they were both attending. After a few drinks and some dancing, I decided that I needed some fresh air. I went out to the back deck of Ryan Harper’s parents’ beach house and walked to the edge, leaning my elbows on the wooden post as I enjoyed my slight buzz and listened to the waves crashing in the ocean. I remember it being so peaceful until my reverie was interrupted.
“Oh, sorry, Alexa, I didn’t realize anyone was out here,” Jace said as his voice moved closer to me.
I shrugged without looking back at him. “No big deal, Jace. I just needed to get away for a bit. It’s way too crowded in there for my taste. ”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve always hated crowds, especially at these parties. I can’t think and it drives me nuts,” he replied, shocking the hell out of me. Hotshot, popular Jace McAllister hated crowds? How was that even possible? He was surrounded by them constantly. And with as close as we were, how did I not know this? He always seemed so comfortable at being the center of attention.
“Trust me, I’d rather be sitting in the sand, listening to the ocean, than having to hear Dylan and Amy sing Camron’s Hey Ma to each other for the millionth time.”
Jace laughed and surprised me when he grabbed my hand. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!”
“Wait, what? Hold on, Jace. You can’t leave your last high school party right in the middle of it,” I protested as he started to pull me towards the house.
Jace stopped at my words and turned to look at me, hitting me with an intense gaze I’d only seen him use on the baseball field. It unnerved me, so I backed up until I hit the wooden rail. He stalked forward, placing his hands on the deck on both sides of my shoulders. He leaned down, and for one split, insane second, I thought he was going to kiss me. His head went to my right ear at the last second, where he whispered, “You just don’t get it. You’ve never gotten it. It makes me crazy, but I also love that about you, Alexa. You’re so unaware that it drives me insane.”
I swallowed hard, wondering what he meant. He was right. I didn’t get it. I had absolutely no idea what he was saying, and my mind started racing as he grabbed my hand, pulled me through the house, and dragged me toward the sand, stopping only to pick up a blanket off the back of the couch. We headed for the shore and then walked for a few minutes in silence before he decided we’d gone far enough away from the party. We settled into the sand behind two huge dunes that hid us from the rest of the world.
After spreading out the blanket, he sat down and surprised me when he pulled me onto his lap. Feeling awkward, I just kind of sat there, avoiding his eyes, not knowing where to place my hands. I didn’t think I’d be able to mask the pent-up crush I’d been hiding all of this time if I looked into his piercing blue eyes. He took his hands and placed them on both sides of my face, forcing me to look at him. He looked like he was about to say something, but instead he shook his head as if trying to shake some thought away.
“Dance with me,” he said as he pulled me to my feet and wrapped his arms around me.
We swayed in time with the ocean’s waves, nothing but the moonlight illuminating us. His strong arms held me in his tight embrace as he whisper-sang to me. This was a completely different side of Jace I’d never been witness to. It was the most beautiful experience I’d ever lived as I moved in his arms, my heartbeat increasing with each word he sang. I never wanted to leave his embrace; I never wanted to forget his whisper in my ear. A few minutes passed in silence as we held each other, listening to the waves crashing and our hearts beating. Eventually he led me back to the blanket and pulled me into his lap once again. I gazed into his eyes and was taken aback. All I saw was a pained expression mixed with hesitation, and I couldn’t have been more confused.
“Alexa, I…I’m leaving tomorrow and I can’t do it without letting you know how I feel,” he said quietly, his voice almost drowned out by the sounds of the ocean.
I drew in a quick breath, unable to believe what I was hearing. “You’re leaving? Tomorrow? I thought you were going to Alabama in the fall to play for the Tide. Are workouts starting early?” I asked, not understanding what he meant and obviously missing the last bit of his statement.
Jace laughed and kissed my forehead. “You really have no clue. At first I thought you were just playing hard to get or that you didn’t want to mess with our friendship, but I’m seeing now that you really have no idea how crazy about you I am.” He inhaled and looked away from me before continuing. “I’m not going to Alabama. I’ve decided to follow in my dad’s footsteps and join the military. I’ve been thinking about it ever since the September 11
th
attacks, but I finally made up my mind. I ship out for Boot Camp tomorrow.”
I jumped off of his lap, not knowing how to process what he’d just told me. Walking towards the shore, I tried to put some distance between us. He was crazy about me? He was leaving tomorrow? My mind raced, not able to process the two bombs he’d just dropped on me.
Jace hesitantly walked up to me as I turned around. I backed away from him, not sure what I was feeling.
“Hey, what’s wrong? I’m sorry. Did I misjudge your feelings? Oh shit. I… Hell, Alexa, I thought you felt the same,” Jace said, half talking to me and half talking to himself.
“Are you kidding me?! I’ve had feelings for you for three years and you’re telling me the night before you leave town that you feel the same? Not to mention that you’re my best friend! Even as a friend you should’ve told me you were leaving so I could at least prepare myself for it. But to tell me now? How the hell do you expect me to respond to that?!” I yelled as I continued to back away from him
Jace rubbed his hands over his face before he walked towards me and pulled me to him. He kissed the top of my head and sighed. “Alexa, I…I messed up. I should’ve told you a long time ago, but things just felt weird with you being Sierra’s little sister and my best friend. And then you were with Aaron and I was with Mallory. It just seemed like our timing was always out of sync and I never had the opportunity to pursue it. But when I saw you out there tonight, knowing it was my last chance, I couldn’t leave without telling you.”
“So you’re really leaving? For good?” I asked, breathless at his revelation.
“Yes, babe, I am. I don’t know if it’ll be for good or how long I’ll be gone. But this isn’t it for us. I’ll go through my training, and when I get settled, I’ll come back if it’s what you want. I know that’s what I want,” Jace responded.