Ignite (Explosive) (3 page)

My heart rose and plummeted at the same time. The thought of being his was something I’d imagined for the longest time, but not knowing how long I’d have to wait terrified me.

“Just get through your training and know I’ll be here if and when you get back,” I said softly, unable to meet his eyes.

He lifted my chin and brushed away the tears that were slowly falling down my face. His thumb against my skin sent shivers throughout my body. How was it that he affected me so much? He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine in a sweet kiss. Pulling back, his eyes searched mine.

“Can we have this last night together? Just you and me? Here? Forget that party, forget that I’m leaving. Let’s just be us—Jace and Alexa. You and me?” he questioned, his eyes boring into mine, pleading for me to give him a final goodbye. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was expecting, but I knew then and there that I’d give him all of me if he asked for it.

I looked at him, gave him what I hoped was a sexy smile, and nodded. Before I could get any words out, Jace’s lips crashed into mine in a heated kiss. His hands found my ponytail as he pulled the tie out, sending my hair cascading down my back.

“I’ve thought about this for years. Every time I’d look up from the field and see you watching me, I’d picture doing just this,” he whispered as he trailed kisses along my jaw before finding my mouth again. His tongue licked my lips, parting them to find my own. He skillfully stroked my tongue with such heat that I thought I would combust due to the arousal building in me.

We stood there, wrapped up in each other, kissing like two people who’d been missing each other for their entire lives. It was as if we were trying to make up for all the lost time we’d stupidly let pass us over the last three years. Jace’s hands ran down my back as he began to explore my body for the first time. He moved almost hesitantly at first before I allowed my hands to travel down his back, finding his ass and drawing him closer to me.

“I want you, Jace. I’ve always wanted you,” I moaned into his mouth as he pulled away.

Jace laid me down on the blanket and placed his body over mine. We were close enough that I could feel his hard erection against my heat, and I wanted so badly to rub myself into him. It took all of my self-control, but somehow I was able to keep myself still as I waited to see what he was going to do. He tossed his shirt off over his head and lifted me up to remove mine as well. I lay back down and he pressed his chest to mine. His cool skin against mine sent a warmth in between my legs, and I squirmed, wanting more.

“You are so beautiful, Alexa Leigh,” Jace whispered as he nipped my earlobe.

Before I could respond, he trailed kisses down my jaw, down my neck, and he landed on my left breast as he moved my bra cup to the side. His lips latched on as he tenderly worked my nipple over. Back and forth between each one, he teasingly licked, nipped, and bit until my arousal was unmistakable.

“Jace…Don’t stop…” I said, hoping for him to take it to the next level.

Jace groaned as he continued to kiss his way down my body, and I writhed underneath him, wanting, needing more. He slowly unbuttoned my shorts as he gazed into my eyes. With one swoop, he pulled them down my legs and threw them to the side. He began to kiss my thighs as he moved in closer to the place that was already causing my stomach to clench. Suddenly, he flipped me over and set me on top of his mouth as he gripped my ass with one hand while the other moved the fabric from my panties out of his way. I let out a small gasp, not knowing what to expect, but Jace immediately moved his tongue across my clit, biting down for effect. A moan quickly escaped my lips as his tongue moved down and he began to love me with his mouth. I lost all of my defenses and began grinding myself against him. His tongue and my hips could not move fast enough. I needed this release, I wanted this release, and Jace was the perfect guy to give it to me. Almost instantaneously, I felt my orgasm drawing near the surface.

“Jace, stop. I want you. Inside me. Now. Please,” I begged, feeling shameless and wondering at the same time what the hell I was saying.

All of the sudden he stopped. He removed his tongue from me and gently pushed me off of him as he looked up at me with conflicted eyes. He wanted me, I could see that, so what was the problem?

“Shit. Alexa, I… You deserve more than me. I shouldn’t have done this. I can’t take that from you. It’s too much,” he said, breathless and shaky.

“Wait, what? What the hell? What did you think was going to happen? I want you. To hell with what I deserve. I want it to be you. I don’t care about anything else!”

Jace stood up, throwing his shirt back on and tossing mine to me. I was crushed, knowing that our evening had come to an end way too soon.

“I…dammit… You have no idea how much you mean to me. I can’t in good conscience take your virginity and leave the next day,” he said, crushing my heart.

“Jace, it’s fine. I want this. I want you. Even if you leave tomorrow and I never see you again. Tonight, it’s you and me.” I tried to reason with him, mentally freaking out that this may be the last time that I have this chance.

“Alexa, I care about you. I have so many feelings for you that I’m having a hard time bottling them up inside. That’s why I’m walking away. It’s killing me, and I’ll probably regret this for the rest of my life, but… this is goodbye. Not for good. Just for now.”

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. Jace walked to me, kissed my forehead, and began to walk away.
Oh hell no, he does not get to walk away from me,
I thought. I stood up and ran after him like a lovesick fool—or at least a really horny one. He wasn’t expecting me, so when I jumped on his back, he fell to the sand. I landed on top of him, and when I rolled him over, he looked into my eyes.

“Jace Michael McAllister, you do not get to declare feelings for me, go down on me, and then try to walk away in some ‘knight in shining armor’ fashion. I may be a virgin, but I’m no innocent.”

His eyes went wide as I continued.

“Oh yeah. Little Lexi Sullivan’s run around the bases, making it all the way to third. You’re a hotshot baseball player, Jace. You’re in this to score. I’m a sure thing. A goddamn freaking home run. If you don’t go back to that blanket and send me to home plate, then you’ll have a losing record,” I said, trying to feel as confident as I sounded.

He looked up at me with such emotion that I could hardly handle being so close to him.

“Alexa… I…”

I put my index finger to his lips. “Jace, if I never see you again, I’ll remember this night for the rest of my life. I’ll always have a special part of you in my heart. I want… No, I need it to be you. Please. If you’re leaving tomorrow, give me this piece of you to hold on to.”

Jace let out a deep breath before standing up to brush the sand off of his shorts. I was utterly terrified that he was about to break my heart for a second time when he grabbed my hand and led me back to the blanket. Laying me down, he looked into my eyes, and it was all I could do not to shake nervously.

“I need to know that you’re sure about this. I’m leaving and I don’t know when I’ll be back. But I do know that when I can come back, it’ll be for you. You’re it for me. I want you so bad, but I need to know that you’ll be okay with this. That when I leave you won’t hate me. That this night will be enough for you—at least for now. I promise you, I’ll come back for you, but that has to be enough.”

My heart warmed and melted at his words. I thought I could never see him again and I’d still want to give my virginity to him, even though part of me was beginning to feel anxious and apprehensive.

“Jace, I fell for you a long time ago, so it only makes sense that it’s you. I’m terrified that I won’t see you after tomorrow, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting you tonight. If nothing else, I want to have the memories of this night. Please. I need it to be you.”

Looking down at me, he pressed his lips to mine. He was gentle at first, and then his tongue moved into my mouth, assaulting my own. I could feel his passion building, and I knew that I had him hooked. He lifted up off of me, and for the second time that night, he quickly performed a removal of both of our shirts. This time he didn’t look at me with a gentle smile. Instead there was a feral look on his face, and I knew he was desperate to devour me. I’d never felt so sexy in my life, and the nervousness vanished as I rose up and pushed him onto his back. I straddled him and began to kiss down his throat, eager to taste every inch of him. He shuddered under my lips as I moved down his chest. My tongue slowly trailed down his skin until he could no longer take sitting still. His hands moved to my hips as he moaned.

Knowing he wasn’t going to let me explore much longer, I quickly worked my way down. His abs tensed as my tongue worked over him. I slowly moved down to the waistband of his jeans and he quickly lifted his hips as my tongue teased him. I took a moment to look up at him, and I was mesmerized by what I saw—his head tilted back, eyes closed, and his jaw tense. He was trying too hard to hold on, but I could see on his face that he was desperate for more. Unbuttoning his jeans, I slid down his zipper and pulled them off of him. I inched his boxers down his legs and he kicked out of them. I gasped at the sight of him, the sheer size taking my breath away. I’d seen several, but none were as big as his.

I nervously ran my hand across him, and he shuddered beneath me. Something about his movements was empowering, so I took the tip of his cock in my mouth. Licking the head, I felt him jerk under me. I felt even more confident, so I took him as far as I could without gagging. My tongue caressed him while my mouth sucked in unison. Finding my rhythm, I continued for a few minutes. I was getting so turned on, and I was prepared to swallow if he wanted me to. As soon as this thought crossed my mind, he was out of my mouth and I found myself on my back.

“Baby, if I’m going to last at all, you have to stop,” Jace whispered huskily in my ear.

He began to kiss down my body when I grabbed his face and pulled him up to me, wanting him to do this before he changed his mind.

“Jace, if I’m going to lose you tomorrow, then I need all of you tonight. Right now. I want you, and I want to have this moment to remember for the rest of my life,” I breathed as I tried to calm my racing heart.

He brushed my bangs away from my face before responding. “Are you sure? I care about you so much. I don’t want one night and then have to leave. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” His voice cracked.

“Let’s not think about that tonight. If you leave now, I’ll never forgive myself for not being with you tonight.”

Jace kissed the single tear that fell from my face before he retreated down my body. He trailed kisses down my neck and onto my breasts. I stopped him just like before and pulled him up to me. “Jace, we’ve been there tonight. I want you inside of me. Please.”

Jace exhaled a breath as he lifted off of me. “Are you sure, baby?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, so please stop asking me that. I’ve always imagined my first time would be with you,” I replied, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice.

Finding his jeans, he pulled a condom out of his wallet.
Oh my god, I’m really about to do this
. He peeled off the shorts I’d thrown back on before tackling him and his eyes widened with surprise as he took in my lacy boy shorts underneath like he was seeing them for the first time. He took his time pulling them off, and I resisted the urge to cover myself.

Jace rolled the condom onto his hard cock, and I couldn’t help but be fascinated by the size of him. How would that thing fit inside of me?

He placed his body over mine and kissed my forehead. “You’re sure you’re ready?”

“Jace, if you ask me that one more time...” I warned as I pulled his face down towards mine.

He rubbed his shaft over my wet center before inserting the tip in me and then quickly pulling it out. A whimper escaped my lips as he teased me, repeating the motion. He let out a low growl as he slowly pushed into me. I held my breath until he went deeper and hit a pressure spot.

“Hold on, baby. This will only hurt for a few seconds,” he reassured me, pausing as he brought his lips to mine in a passionate kiss.

He began to move again and he pushed through, going as deep as I could take him. I had to brace my hands on his stomach to handle the pain. He was so big inside of me, and while it felt good, it also felt uncomfortable. It was as if my stomach were being impaled and a fire burned my insides. I had to blink away the tears that suddenly formed in my eyes at the intense pain I felt as he filled me fully.

Jace noticed my discomfort and stopped his movements. “Baby, are you okay?”

I caught my breath, not wanting him to stop as the pain was fading. “I-I’m fine. It’s just… a lot to take,” I breathed, bringing a cocky grin to his face.

He began to move slowly inside of me, letting his groin create a blazing friction against my clit. The more he moved, the less pain I felt as pleasure began to replace it. As he rubbed against me, I could feel the pressure building up, threatening to spill over at any moment.
Oh my god. He feels amazing. Why did I wait so long for this? And how the hell am I going to say goodbye?
A thousand thoughts ran through my brain as he continued to move on top of me. I pushed them from my mind and concentrated on matching his movements with my own, rolling my hips in rhythm with his.

Jace looked down at me with an intense array of emotion in his eyes. He leaned down and kissed me breathless. “You’re so tight, Alexa. I can barely control myself with you. I want this to last longer for you, but I’m almost there, baby. You ready?”

I looked up at him, more than ready for this, and nodded my head. Bracing both hands on the ground on both sides of my body, he started to move faster, picking up the pace and making it nearly impossible for me to match. A sweltering heat began to form inside of me as I felt myself losing control.

“Oh my god, please…” I let out as Jace thrust one final time before we were both sent over the edge.

Panting, we lay on the blanket together, a tangled mess of limbs, not wanting this night to end. I never thought my first time would be so incredible. Sure, it hurt, but what I had just experienced with Jace was a closeness and intimacy I’d never forget. And in that moment, my heart was both soaring and breaking. I knew I couldn’t say goodbye to him. I knew I loved him. I’d just fallen even further in love with him. How could I ever not love him?

I come
out of my thoughts, mentally cursing Sierra for placing Jace back in my mind. It’s been ten years since I’ve seen him—and almost as long since I’ve let my mind wander to that night. The summer that Jace left, my dad was transferred to Ohio, moving my family far away from the beach I’d called home for seventeen years. I never heard him Jace again, but once she found him on MySpace, Sierra made sure to keep me posted on where he was and how he was doing in the Army. I feigned disinterest, but I secretly loved hearing about how well he did in his Army Boot Camp and how he breezed through Explosive Ordnance Disposal school without any wash-backs. Eventually, the stories trailed off as he began traveling the globe, one deployment after another, disabling one explosive device at a time.

I met Tyler in the fall of my first semester of college, and we hit it off immediately. It was the very definition of a whirlwind romance. We were married within a year and spent the next seven in a relatively happy marriage. It wasn’t always perfect, but it was a beautiful and real, and I’ll mourn the loss of it for the rest of my life.

So here I am. Sharing this king-size bed for the first time in ten months with a stretched out four-year-old, wishing I could somehow wake up from this nightmare.