Imperfections (30 page)

When I'm finally finished my body feels like its drained. He stands up, smiles at me and places his hand between my legs and gently rubs me with his thumb.

"Are you okay?"

The aftershocks and what he's doing feels so good. I can't look at him. It's stupid after what we've done, but I feel a little embarrassed. The way I acted. The things I said. The things he said. "Yeah," I answer. I can't stop myself from letting out a little whimper of pleasure from what he's doing. I try to still his hand and sit up but he shakes his head at me.

"No. Don't move. The last thing in the world I want you to be is embarrassed or ashamed of what we did. I love you, Cat, and I think you love me. I've always loved you. It's changed over time and over the years, but I've always loved you. And what we did here was right, it was us. No apologizing, no regrets. Regrets are for weak men who don't go after what they want and I'm anything but weak. You're everything I want. I don't regret anything."

I have absolutely nothing to say. More feelings flood me, I'm feeling the wetness again but this time it's running down the side of my face. He doesn't say anything else; he puts his hand on my face and kisses me on my lips. A kiss so soft and gentle I hardly feel it. I part my lips tasting myself on him, and he fits his lips between mine with my bottom lip inside of his. He pulls my skirt down and moves his hands up my sides and wraps his arms around me all the time never breaking the kiss. I put my hands on either side of his face, he takes me off his desk and sits in his chair with me across his lap.

"Cat, I messed up. This is how we should have always been. You and me together. Give me a chance to make it right. To make it the way it was always supposed to be. Please. I want you in every single way possible. I don't want to lose you, please give me a chance. We'll take it slow. Just me and you."

He looks into my eyes, our foreheads come together and the tears just keep on coming.

"How can we? Everything has changed, it's different now."

He puts his hand on my face and brushes my tears away with his thumb. His hand is so large against my face and warm. These are hands I know will always protect me, as they have always protected me whether I wanted them to or not.

"Baby, don't cry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I can't bear the thought of you with anyone else. I don't want to lose you, I don't want you to walk out of here and we go back to the way we were before you walked into this room.

"Promise me you will meet me tonight so we can talk, we can figure this out together. You're not going to be alone, I'm with you. You can talk to me, don't push me away. Stop running from me. We can work this out, and we will find a way."

I nod my head yes to keep from crying again.

"Remember, friends first and foremost, you and me."

"Dad, you wanted to see me?"

"Come in."

"I have a meeting I have to get to in twenty minutes."

"Then I'll get to the point. How are you doing? I mean, we work in the same building, you're my son, yet I haven't seen or spoken to you directly in over two months."

"I've been busy, you know my work schedule."

"Yes, I do, that is why you're one of the best young lawyers I know. You're dedicated, when you're in the courtroom you know when to push and when to hold back. It's a sight to see. In cross examination you sympathize, make them feel like they can almost trust you, then you slowly move in for the kill, piling on fact after fact, poking little holes of reasonable doubt into the opposing counsel's case. Until it falls apart like a torn-tattered piece of worn-out paper. You plant the seed of doubt into the jurors' heads. I love to watch it, it's an art."

Destroying someone's credibility and or life would be a form of art to my father. He and I don't agree on many things. Since I can remember, our relationship has always been rocky. After my mother and he were divorced it was worse. He's a powerful man. He didn't get to where he is by making friends with everyone he meets and giving second chances. To get to the top, sometimes you make deals, cross a few people, and make a few enemies along the way. If you want to stay on top, always watch your back for the enemies you've crossed and never go back on a deal you've made. That will be your downfall, unless it's going to save your ass. Those are his words. I'm not proud of it but I have lived by those words in my career as a lawyer.

"Son, I want you to fly out tomorrow and handle the Paxton merger."

"I can't."

"They like you, they trust you."

"I can't. Send someone else."

"Why not? You're my number one."

"I already have a pressing merger I have to deal with tonight. It's shaky; it can fall apart at any minute. It has top priority over everything."

"They asked for you personally, they want to see an Alexander."

"Send Paige, they like her. She was with me the last time I met with them. That's her specialty, mergers and acquisitions. The only reason I was there was to make sure everything went smoothly."

"Fine. I heard you're not seeing her anymore."

"You heard right."

"Shame, you would have made a hell of a powerhouse couple. Damn fine looking gal too."

That's my father. "Do you remember Catherine Reed?"

"Cute little girl you and your friend Chris used to hang out with."

"That's her, she's Chris's sister." I don't know why I'm telling him this but I am. "She's not a little girl anymore."

"I liked that little girl."

"Me too. I like her even more now." I smile to myself remembering the way she looked standing in the middle of my office with the sun shining down on her through the window.

"She must have turned out to be a real beauty to put a smile like that on your face. Shit, I haven't seen a smile like that from you since you were a kid."

"She is. Her sister's pregnant and I think it might be mine."

"Shit, you're knee-deep in the shit, aren't you? Didn't I always tell you wrap it up, don't bring back anything you didn't leave with or want, especially a baby?"

"I did. Looks like it didn't work."

"Well shit!"

"Exactly." My father puts on his lawyer hat.

"First things first, before you admit to anything get a paternity test done pronto."

"Already did."

"Good. Do you love this girl?"

"No, we hardly get along."

"Well, you don't have to like a woman to have sex with her. It only requires she looks good."

I have to laugh, this is my dad. "She wants me to marry her. I thought about it when she told me but it's not going to happen. Not with Cat back."

"You knocked her up you don't have to marry her but there are all types of marriages, if it's yours. There are marriages that come with a mutual understanding of what is to be expected in a loveless marriage."

"I know, she doesn't have a problem with that. She would agree to it all."

"So what's the problem?"

"That's not the life I want for me or my child—a life without Cat. I have to go. I'll call Paxton and tell them I can't make it but we're sending our next best in my place."

"Keep me informed and let me know how it all works out. It would be nice to have a grandchild around instead of ungrateful kids I don't see. That part was meant more for your brother than you. When you see him tell him I want to talk to him. If your sister can call me once a week where she's at, I think he can manage to call me at least once a month."

"If I can get ahold of my wayward brother, I'll let him know."

After I leave Nick's office I go to see Ava at her new apartment building. She moved out of the hotel room she was renting. I love it. There is a doorman downstairs dressed in a bow tie and suit. Ava has expensive taste and it shows in this building. She has three bedrooms and there is a fireplace in two of them and one in the center of the living room wall with a plush white bare skin rug in front of it. Every room has cherry hardwood floors. It's really nice and cozy.

I get a bottle of water out of the fridge and sit across from her at the kitchen table. "I saw Nick today." I can see her perking up. She wasn't quite herself today when I came by but she said she was fine. So I left it alone, she'll tell me.

"Really?"

I take a sip of my water. "I didn't realize how irresistibly sexy a man with power could be."

"Honey, yes."

"I'm in trouble. I need to stay away from him."

"Why would you want to do that? You have a man who's powerful, sexy, and most of all into you like a fat man in a pie eating contest."

I look down at the water bottle in my hands. I peel back the edge of the label with my fingers without thought to what I'm doing. "This is not right, this is so wrong. I'm betraying my sister." I feel a tickle in my throat. I try to clear it without her hearing me.

"Git your little ass over here, don't you start crying. It's not a sin to be attracted to a man who is equally attracted to you."

She waits till I look at her.

"You had sex with him again, didn't you?"

"Yes. I went to his office to talk and apologize for the way I left without telling him."

She slams her hands down on the table and I almost jump off my chair. "Wait a minute, you had sex in his office?"

"Yes, it was wrong!"

"Wrong my ass. It was so good the first time you had to get it again. I hear that."

"Ava!" I put my hands over my face and groan. "That's not what I went there for."

She pulls my hands down from my face and lifts my chin up. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're getting more action than me, I should be ashamed."

I tilt my head to the side. "Seriously?"

"Seriously, you two have something that keeps drawing you back to each other. You should try to find out what it is. One of the worse things in life is to have regrets."

"I have regrets now."

"But would you take back what you've already done?"

I say nothing, because I know I wouldn't. She smiles at me.

"I didn't think so. You and Nick should spend some time together and talk. Get to know who you are now. As close as you and he were I'm sure there are things about him you don't know and things about you he doesn't know."

As I found out today. "That's the problem; every time we're alone together we end up having sex."

"I'm not saying you should have sex with him…" She leans over and lowers her voice.  "Damn, is it that good?"

"Ava!" I reach over and slap her on the back of her hand. She holds her hand up and her eyelids go up over her dark blue eyes, like a Kewpie doll with the top knot over her head to match.

"I don't want to know because he's my cousin but I'm just saying, if it's that good, then it can't be that much of a problem. That's a bonus, and y'all don't even need a bed. Hmmm hmmm."

"Get your head out of the gutter and help me."

"I'll try. You two should go to lunch in a public place. No one's going to think anything of it, you're friends. The only people who know you have passed the point of friendship are you and him; so long as you can refrain from ripping each other's clothes off and going at it on the table."