Imperfections (46 page)

"What was that about?" I ask, a bit irritated.

"I was making a new friend, you can't have too many of those. Especially when they look that good." She unbuttons her coat and sits down.

"You're late as usual, I was about to leave."

"No, you weren't, I know you weren't going anywhere until you found out what you wanted to know about Cat. Did you order yet?"

I would be out of here if it wasn't for Cat. "I have been sitting here waiting on you for forty minutes. The only thing I've had is this glass of wine and enough of waiting for you."

"Good, I think I'll have a nice juicy steak, how about you?" She looks over the menu and puts it down.

"Ava…I'm barely holding on to my patience with you."

"I think you need more red meat in your diet, you're looking sort of pale."

"I'm about to get up from the table, Ava."

She holds her hands in the air. "Okay, okay, okay, what do you want to know about our girl?"

I sit back in my seat, one hand on the table, the other palm down on my leg. "How's she doing? I don't want the generic version, 'she's fine.' I want the truth."

She lets out a big breath. "She's not doing well. I mean, she's doing better this week. Starting work has been good for her; it helps to take her mind off this hot mess."

I nod my head and take a drink from my wine glass. "Is she still crying?" I play with the stem of the glass in my hand.

"One word." She tilts her head to the side and looks at me.

I raise an eyebrow. "Well?" What the hell is it?"

"Sade, I never knew she was such a big fan of Sade."

I look at her for a minute. Then I remember the song I played for her on the roof in the garden. "Sade."

"Sade."

I watch her name off the songs on her fingers one at a time. I feel like she's poking me in the center of my chest with the name of each song. "By Your Side", "The Moon and The Sky", "Love is Stronger Than Pride", "Jezebel", "Baby Father"; those five songs are on heavy rotation. I'm mad at you, I feel like you did me wrong. Next time, keep your draws up around your ass and think before you slide on in to home."

I feel like shit. "Ava, I need to see her." She puts her hand on the table over mine and gives me a sympathetic look.

"Now, don't be mad at me, this is the concerned girlfriend speaking, not the lovable sweet southern sisterly cousin. If I need to protect my girl from an asshole jerk such as you when her heart is crazy bruised and shattered, I will, don't think I won't!"

I'm about to tell her what I think about her concern. She closes her eyes, holds up her other hand to stop me.

"Now remember…that was the kick-ass best friend in me speaking. As your loving cousin, blood of my blood, I'm saying she needs a little distance from you."

Jekyll and Hyde that's how she sounds to me. All she needs is the two-sided face mask.

"She needs a little more time. It's a lot for her to deal with. Her mother and Kate, their huge fight, the pregnancy, you being the father. Now this rumor is out that you're engaged to her sister and expecting. Nick, it's all sloppy and messy."

"I don't care. I need to see her." She's hurting and I should be the one there with her at night. "I need to be with her. She needs me. As much as she thinks she doesn't, she needs me like I need her."

"Honey, I'm the biggest supporter for a relationship for the both of you, but do you want to see her go through all the pain and drama a relationship between you two will cause?

"This falls into the category of scandal, scandalous rumors, gossip, hurt."

"If we're together, we can get through anything. I just have to make her see this. She has to believe we are stronger together than apart."

"I know you love her and you believe this. Think about it this way. She hasn't said this to me in so many words, this is what I'm thinking. But I'm sure she's thinking it too.

"Is she going to wait outside the waiting room while you're holding Kate's hand comforting her with words of encouragement while she's in labor having your baby, or do you expect her to come inside the delivery room and watch all that?

"You're my family and I love you but I love Cat too. She stands to lose more than you do whether y'all make a go of it or not. When it's all said and done, you're going to have a beautiful baby thanks in part to our amazing family genes and you're still going to have a happy family that stands beside you including me. But what is she going to have?"

"She'll have whatever she wants to have. I can make this work for us." She looks at me with a heavy exaggerated sigh and doubt in her deep blue eyes. "Stop with the damn sighs already, Ava," I snap at her.

"This is going to be one thing you cannot control. I know if it comes down to it you're going to choose your child."

"I don't plan on choosing between the woman I love and my child because I know it can work. I can make it work."

"It would be great if you could." She sits back in her chair and puts her wine glass to her lips.

"Has she spoken to her mother or Kate?"

"No. They're having Thanksgiving dinner at her parents' on Thursday. Were you invited?"

"That depends, is she going?"

Ava nods her head. "You will see her there. It's going to be hard for her seeing you, don't make it any harder. Maybe she should bring Matt along; that would even things out."

"What!" That's the only word that comes out in a low growl. I feel wetness and sharp pieces of glass in my hand as the glass crumbles.

"Nick! Your hand."

Ava grabs a white napkin to wipe my hand and the wine on the table. I pull my hand back and wipe it with my napkin.

"I was only joking, Nick."

"Don't run jokes like that, Ava."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize how sensitive you are at the mere mention of Matt and Cat together. Lesson learned; that won't ever happen again. This love is making you downright violent. Take it down a notch. Did you cut your hand?"

"I'm fine. I need to get out of here. I have to get back to the office."

"Okay. Take it easy; try to stay away from stemware. Glass. Anything fragile."

I walk outside the restaurant and pull my phone out to check my messages. A picture of Cat pops up. I took it when she was sleeping in my bed, waking up, eyes full of sleep. I wish she would talk to me. On Thursday she will. That's the only reason I'm going to the Reed's Thanksgiving dinner, to see Cat.

Thanksgiving Dinner

God, this is going to be awful. It's freezing out here, what's taking them so long to open the door? I fold my hands under my chest and bounce up and down. I should use my key but it feels strange now that I've moved out. I wish Ava could be here with me, I'd feel better. She flew out to Nashville to spend the weekend with her parents. Come on, this is ridiculous. I reach into my pocket to pull my key out and I hear my mother ask who is it. Great, she'll probably leave me out here to freeze and get frostbite to punish me.

"It's Cat."

She opens the door and I see her for the first time since our fight and her physical attack on me. She is flawless as usual. A real socialite; every inch of her well-manicured from head to toe, string of pearls, blue form fitting evening dress. Not a hair out of place, it lays on her shoulder pulled back from her face perfectly. As if every hair is trained to stay in place.

"Good evening, Catherine. Happy Thanksgiving."

Aloof. Looks like that will be the word for tonight. There's a good chance inside is also going to be chilly for me tonight.

She moves back to let me in. "Hello, Mother. You look nice."

"Thank you. So do you." She folds her hands in front of her and motions toward the dining room. "Everyone's here except for your sister. When she arrives we'll start dinner. As you know, Sophie if off tonight, but she made us a beautiful dinner. I'll see you inside."

She leaves me to close the door behind me. All right. After two hours I'm outta here. Me being here is all a show for my father and my brothers.

"Hi, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving." I make my way around the table and greet Vanessa, Chris, Jay, and my dad with a kiss and a hug. My dad hugs me tight as usual. I don't mind putting on a show for him.

"My kit Cat, where have you been, baby girl?"

"Dad, I talked to you yesterday."

"It's not the same as coming home to see you. I know you're grown up now and you need your space but you can still come over to see your parents."

"I will try to come around more, but I'm working now."

"You need to make time for family, baby girl. Family is everything, if you don't have family you don't have anything."

"You're right, Dad. I will make time even if it's just to pop by the office and say hi."

"That's my baby girl."

I take a seat at the table next to Chris. "What's up, sis? Haven't seen much of you lately."

"Like I told Dad, I've been busy."

"Like Dad said, you can't be too busy for family," Jay says from across the table.

"Like I told Dad, I'm going to make time to come around more. Okay, Jay?"

I don't mean to snap at him but this talk about family sticking together is getting on my nerves. They're acting as if I've abandoned them. It's only been two weeks since I moved out. I lived in another country for four years and they didn't complain about not seeing me.

"How is it living with Ava, Cat?" Vanessa asks.

"It's great. We've worked out a routine that works for us."

"That's good. Maybe Sasha and I can stop by one day to visit."

"That would be fun, I'd love that. Sasha and I need to spend more time together, we had a lot of fun when I babysat, didn't we, Sasha?" Her face lights up and she reaches for me across the table.

"Aunty Cat, Aunty Cat!"

She wants me to pick her up. I laugh and go to get her. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I missed you too, baby."

"Vanessa, you don't mind if I take your daughter for a few minutes, do you?"

"No, not at all."

I walk over to my chair with her and sit down. "I almost forgot I have something for you. My favorite time of the year is coming up and I'm starting early with you."

"Where is it, Aunty Cat?"

"You wait right here with your mommy I'll be right back with it." I go into the foyer to get the present out of my pocket. She's going to love it; it's a little elf on a shelf snow globe. When I saw it the first person I thought of was Sasha. The elf is perched on the top, when you shake it the glitter swirls all around and it changes different colors when you turn it on. It's adorable like her.

I stop mid-step when I hear voices. It's Nick and Kate.

"Kate, let's not pretend, the only reason I'm here is because of Cat."

"I know—" Kate stops talking and puts her hand on her stomach. "Nick, the baby moved!" Kate takes his hand and places it on her stomach. I want to leave but I can't. He looks bored and irritated but then his face lights up, looking at his hand on her stomach.

"I feel it. Is that him moving?"

"Yeah." Kate bobs her head up and down with a big smile on her face.

Talk about twisting the knife in my heart. They're sharing a moment, I shouldn't be here. This should be something between the two of them.

"Nick, I think it's time we tell everyone. I'm going to be showing like any day now. We know you're the father so I don't think it makes a difference; it's only my family, no one else."

He looks at her apprehensively.

I turn to leave and Nick looks up at me. I try to smile but I can't. "Hi." My voice wavers. "I came out to get something I bought for Sasha, I can get it later."

I turn around as fast as I can and leave. I go back to my seat in a daze.

"Aunty Cat!"

I hear Sasha and hold my head up looking at her. "I'm sorry, Sasha, I think I forgot it at home. I'll bring it by tomorrow, okay?"

She looks at me with her chubby cheeks and her eyes shining. "Okay," she says, poking her lip out.

I'm sorry I'm disappointing her but I can't turn back to go out there. I watch as Kate and Nick make their way around the room and say hello to everyone. When they sit down I take a long drink of my wine. I'm going to need a lot of this to get through the night. I only have to hold it together for another hour and a half. I'm not staying a minute longer.

Dinner was torture. I drank too much and I couldn't eat a thing. I felt Nick watching me the entire time. I couldn't look at him once. I felt like everyone knew about us. I wanted to bolt from the table but I couldn't.

After the table is cleared by the person my mother hired to serve dinner, she clears her throat and stands with her glass in her hand looking down at Kate smiling. "Kate has a special announcement she would like to make."

The last announcement she made ripped my heart out of my chest, this one might stop it. She's probably hoping it will. Kate stands, looks around the table and her eyes land on me. She wants me to hear what she has to say. Even though we both know what it is. She wants me to hear it from her.

"I'm pregnant. Nick and I are having a baby."