INK: Abstraction (36 page)

He smiles proudly.
“Smart thinking, but I’m not sure that would be the
outcome.”

“At any rate I
think I’m ready, I’ve been able to open the portal and
keep it open. I think I’m ready to go after the Specter.”
My excitement boils over and I accidentally bump my head on the
camera. “Sorry.” I rub my head.

Carl smiles. “We’ve
all missed you.”

“I’m sure,
I mean seriously, what are you all doing for entertainment these
days?”

“Darlin’,
it’s all about you and how to get you out of here safely.”
He raises his eyebrows. “But I think it’s a bad idea for
you to go into the portal. We need to wait until you’re out,
and I definitely don’t want you going after him alone,”
he warns.

“Carl, I can get
in there and I think I can figure out how to kill him. I can do it,
don’t you believe in me?” I plead into the camera.

“I know you can
do it. It’s more a matter of if you
should
.” He
closes his eyes and inhales a breath. “Once you do this sort of
thing, you can’t come back from it emotionally. I don’t
want you to compromise yourself. There are other ways, and we’re
going to defeat him. Just don’t put something on your heart
that you won’t be able to escape from.” He sounds so
sensible, everything he’s saying rings true. But I want to kill
the Specter, feel the joy of it.

“I’m not
sure how much longer I can take the torment. I have no pendant, no
candles, no you and I’m on my own. I can’t handle it much
longer, I’m breaking.” I look down at my hands, ashamed
that I can keep up the good face.

“Listen darlin’,
you keep meditating. I’ll be back to see you as soon as I can.”
He tries to push out a smile but can't manage it.

“Okay, please
take care of Eli. Make sure he’s eating and getting some sleep
and please tell him I love him and can’t wait for him to hold
me again.” I wax melancholy at the thought of how cold I feel
at night without Eli.

“I’ll tell
him. Any message for McNab?” He asks with a smile.

“Same message as
last time.” I shoot him the bird.

“Still pissed at
him, huh?” He doesn't smile.

I purse my lips and
nod. “Yeah, I am.”

“Well, I think
you should get over it and consider putting him on the visitor’s
list.” His tone is scolding.

“There's enough
assholes in here, I don't think the building can handle one more.”
I raise my eyebrows.

“Okay, I'll let
him know, too many assholes.” Carl shakes his head and stands
from the chair.

“Oh hey, Carl?”
I try to stop him.

He leans down so I can
see him in the camera. “Yeah?”

“Tell Eli I can’t
wait to be his wife, so he needs to hurry up and get my ass out of
here.” I widen my eyes at the end of my sentence.

“Got it.”

He leaves the screen
and I’m sitting here as close to alone as it gets.

The Specter appears on
the screen, his smoky form sporting Eli’s face. “If I
looked like this could you love me?”

I roll my eyes, so not
amused.

“
You can’t
ignore me.
” The Specter is outraged and is now in my head
since I’m being led away by the guard.

“I’m not
ignoring you, I’m planning how to kill you,” I tell him
low and metered.

“What’s
that, Baynes?” the guard asks.

“Nothing. Sorry,
I was just thinking of something my friend said,” I offer.

“I've left you a
gift. I hope you like it.” His voice is full of joy, which just
feels wrong.

“Wonderful,”
I muse.

Morin stops in the
hallway and pulls me to the side. “Listen, word is they are
going to be putting you in the psych ward if your cellmate keeps
complaining that you’re talking to yourself.”

“Is the food any
better over there?” I ask, genuinely curious, cause this shit
is unacceptable.

“This is no
laughing matter.” She pulls her lips to the side. “If you
are innocent, you’re going to have a hard time pushing to get
records reviewed if they think you’re crazy. Don’t do
it.”

Seriousness fills my
demeanor as she reprimands me. She leans back in. “This is
county, it’s a cakewalk compared to prison.”

I believe her.

Morin walks me back to
my cell since time in the common area is over. I’m not sure why
I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s different
than the feeling I get when they close the doors every night; there’s
something more to it, something sinister. For that reason I approach
the cell cautiously, slowing down.

As soon as I see it I
put my arms out against the walls and don’t walk through the
door. “Oh shit.”

Morin gives me a nudge
in the back. “Come on Baynes, we’ve got a good thing
going here, don’t get sketchy on me now.”

“No, look.”
I gasp and back away from the door and the pool of blood on the
floor.

“Shit.”
Morin pushes the alarm button and I drop down to my belly on the
floor like we were told to do at intake. “You stay put,
Baynes.” She goes in and checks for a pulse. I want to throw
up, Savannah was nice. She was a little rough around the edges, but
she wasn’t violent and she didn’t steal my shit.

Guards fill the area,
dressed in riot gear, and come up to the second level where my cell
is. The medic enters the cell. I feel the poke of a billy club in my
back and a deep male voice orders me, “Get up slowly with your
hands on your head.”

Compliance is the best
policy, that’s what Eli and Jason both told me, and now is not
the time to start arguing that point. I stand with my fingers
interlaced on my head.

“Turn around and
face the wall,” he barks.

“Baynes didn’t
do this.” Morin comes to my defense.

“Is that so?”
he challenges her. “We all know she's a cop killer.”

“She was in
visitation and Jennings was very much alive when Baynes left.”

“Standard
procedure,” he says, slapping handcuffs on my wrist. I notice
they don’t hurt as bad and don’t bother me as much as
they used to.

I’m led down to a
holding area, and I feel deranged for feeling a sense of relief,
knowing that I’ll see Jason in person and possibly even Eli.
God, I miss him so much. I just want to melt into him.

A few guards come in to
question me, and I respond just like Jason told me to. “I want
to have my attorney present during the questioning.”

“Okay, if that’s
how you want it.” A guard that I don’t recognize says and
turns around to leave, “I was just going to tell you what we
think happened.”

I feel bad, but I’m
doing exactly what I was told to do. I don’t want to be in here
one more minute longer than I have to. I nod indicating, that I’m
waiting.

I’ve learned
while being in here that time can be deceiving and they don’t
exactly have a clock on the wall. The telltale smell of the Specter
invades my senses; the air grows heavy with his presence.

“My love, do you
like what I’ve done for you?” he asks, manifesting in the
seat across from me.

“No, actually, I
don’t.” I turn away, not looking at him, and realize how
much this has become a sick relationship that I can’t escape
and the only way out is going to be to kill him, or myself. How do
you kill a spirit, a ghost or whatever the fuck he is? I don’t
know, but I’m going to figure it out.

“I did it for
you.” He stands to glide back and forth across the floor. “You
are so ungrateful.”

“Well the thing
is I’m probably going to get blamed for it. All of this is
because of you. Me being here. It’s all your fault,” I
say in an even tone. I’m not sure why I’ve become so
calm, I think it’s something in the pudding cups we get on
Wednesdays.

“You being here
allows me access to you like I’ve never had before. No
interference from anyone. It’s wonderful.” He leans down
close enough to my ear that I feel the temperature change in the air
around me. “I lay with you every night while you sleep.”

I push the thought
away, “Why are you doing this to me?” I don’t have
it in me to cry or yell.

“Because I love
you and I want to be with you. I've gone to great lengths to find
someone like you.” He smiles wickedly, swaying in front of me.

What does that even
mean? “Keep looking, this girl isn't interested.”

“Soon I’ll
be strong enough that we can be together.” He passes through me
from one side to the other and I’m filled with a sickening
horror of emotions, all depraved. “Since the moment I first
felt you, I knew I would have you, and here we are. You are my lover,
you are mine.”

“No.” I try
to focus but can’t. Even though I’m calm, I’ve lost
the ability to manifest any inner strength, fucking pudding cups.
“Just go away.”

“Sooner or later
you’ll map out my next big kill. This one was just for fun, it
was an added bonus and I wanted to shake things up a bit.” He
turns his back on me.

“I will not draw
until I’ve defeated you,” I say simply. It doesn’t
matter how many nightmares I’ve had, how many times I’ve
wanted to storyboard another issue. I won’t until I know the
Specter can’t make them happen.

“You think I
don’t see you, but you’ll break, you’ll draw soon
enough. I see you when you think I’m not looking. Drawing in
the sand with your finger in the yard, doodling with a French fry
dipped in ketchup. You’ll break down. I’ve seen to it
that you have a sketchpad and pencils in your cell.” He's so
pleased with himself.

I’m taken aback;
I thought those were sent by Eli, I recall the card that came with
them. “Not what you’re used to, but hopefully it will
hold you over.” They came from the commissary, so the note
wasn’t personalized. Now I’m wondering how I got them.
“Go away.”

“Never, I will
never go away from you.” His echoing bellow startles me.

“I said go away,
you fucking freak. I don’t love you, I don’t want you.”
I realize when a guard enters the room that I’ve been yelling.

“Did you need
something?” she asks, concerned and looking around the room.

“No thank you,
I’m fine.” I follow her gaze around the room, not sure if
I want her to see the Specter or not. He’s gone, dissipated as
fast as he came. I’m left with the residue of his evil crawling
on my skin.

Shay

A few
hours go by and I can feel him before he walks in the room. Eli is
here. If the handcuffs weren’t locked to the table I would get
up and wrap my arms around him. He walks in the room stiff as a
board. “Miss Baynes, I’ll be standing in for Attorney
Garner.”

Jason walks in behind
him. “Hey Shay.” He pulls his mouth to the side with
disapproval.

“I didn’t
do anything. I swear. I was in the visitor’s room talking to
Trish and Carl.” I try to put my hands up, but I’m not
able to.

“I am proud that
you wouldn’t talk, that’s good. But, you have to remember
everything in this room is monitored.” He gives me a look like
I should know what he’s talking about.

She’s
breaking, she’s really breaking. We’ve got to get her out
of here or I may lose her forever.
I hear Eli’s voice in my
mind. Pain clouds his cobalt eyes and he’s looking at me like I
just gave him the news that I’m terminal.

“I’m not
breaking, and I’m not sure what you mean. I’ve just been
sitting here, talking to my imaginary friend.” I realize how
the conversation with the Specter must have looked. I need to really
be more careful about that.

“They aren’t
monitoring now, attorney client privilege enters here.” He
motions toward Eli.

“Come here.”
I offer a tight smile.

He approaches me but
remains stiff. He bends down at the waist and stays at least a full
meter from my ear. “They can’t hear us, but they are
watching.”

I turn to face him and
just want to feel his scruff against my cheek. “Watching?”

“Yes. But so you
know, I want so badly to hold you.” I notice for the first time
that he’s not looking so good. His eyes are ringed with dark
circles, and his hair is disheveled.

I nod compliance. “Just
know I want your arms around me.”

“I lay awake at
night missing you; I can only take shallow breaths because I’m
afraid that I’ll lose what’s left of you inside me.
Sometimes it feels like your absence is the only thing I feel
anymore.” Those words break me and my tears start to flow. “I’m
sorry, Sweetybird.” Sharp pains shoot through my soul, reaching
my heart; I wince at the sadness in his voice.

“No, you don’t
have to be. Thank you for coming. I know what you’re putting at
risk.” He is too. Unless something has changed, he’s
supposed to be distanced from the case. Hopefully most of that’s
been cleared up, but judging by the physical distance he’s
putting between us it isn’t.

“I had to see
you.” He presses a tight smile into his cheek.

“Eli, I always
feel you thinking of me whether you are a foot away or a hundred
miles away.” I try to lift his spirits.

“Shay, I’m
sorry, but I need you tell me what happened,” Jason interrupts
while looking at his watch.

“I went to
visitation, and when I came back she was dead on the top bunk and
there was blood everywhere,” I say simply and then add, “She
was alive when I left.”

“Okay, it would
seem they don’t want to pin this one on you.” He inhales
a breath. “We are making some progress, but we are still
getting stonewalled on all the evidence. They sent us so many boxes;
even with extra man power we haven’t laid eyes on it all.”

“How’s my
dad?” I ask, feeling very uneasy that he hasn’t come to
see me.

“He’s doing
fine, but he’s not been able to make it up here. He’s
been traveling a lot with the investigation, leads the organization
has picked up.” Eli rolls his eyes.

“Should he be
traveling like that after the heart attack scare?” I try not to
worry about Dad, but I can’t help it.