Inky (14 page)

“Okay.” I didn’t move. I wanted to move but my feet wouldn’t work. I smelled his cologne and his own Cole scent when he breezed past me and inhaled deeply. God he smelled good.

“All set?” he said behind my shoulder, making me jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, I’m…I haven’t had a lot of sleep. I…” I didn’t want to tell him everything that happened after he dropped me off. I was already feeling pathetic. “Where would you like to go?”

“Come on, I know a place.” He offered me his hand but I didn’t take it. I walked out in front of him and the same hand met the small of my back, leading me away from the building. “There’s a great little taco bar just across from the beach. Does that sound okay?”

“To be honest, that sounds great. I could really use a beer.”

He chuckled. “Then beer you shall have. Let’s go.”

***

After two tacos and a Corona, I knew he was staring at me again. “What? What is it? Do I have food in my teeth?” I asked.

“Am I making you nervous again?”

“What do you think?” I asked sarcastically, talking my last swig.

“I think you’re not sure about me, yourself, your talent…it’s all happening.”

“Indeed.”

He looked out to the tourists and locals mingling in the beachside community. I loved it here. I wished I could afford to have a home here one day. I don’t think I would ever get tired of the view or take it for granted.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“I was thinking about how, if I had a house here, right there on the cliff, I would never take it for granted.”

I decided to bravely meet his constant gaze only to find he was stifling laughter. “What’s so funny?” I was kind of offended although I didn’t know why.

“It’s nothing. You’re…you have this way about you. You appreciate beauty. I find it…”

“Choose your next words carefully, Mr Carlyle.” I said it to be playful, remembering his exchange with Alicia only an hour before. He rose abruptly from the picnic style bench and turned to me.

“Please call me Cole. Just Cole. Let’s talk business, shall we? Come on. I want to feel the sand on my feet.”

When we got to the shore, he sat down and took off his shoes, stuffing his socks inside. Normally I wouldn’t think anything of leaving my shoes unattended on the beach but his had special red soles and I knew they were expensive. I put my red Chuck Taylors next to his, talk about contrast. “You sure you want to leave those there?” I asked.

“They’re just shoes.” He said and reached for my hand but I hesitated in taking it. “Please, Anika.”

I didn’t want to deny him or myself for that matter. When I put my hand in his, I felt that connection again. I’d read about this in countless romance novels; that electric spark they somehow both parties felt. I’d always thought it sounded great and incredibly fictional, like Prince Charming bullshit. Well, I was wrong. This was a bolt of lightning that went from my fingertips to, well, everywhere else.

“Do you want to finish the series with the trees and woods before I take them, or are you happy for me to have them as they are now?”

Huh?

“I’m sorry?” I asked just to make sure I heard him right.

“Mrs. Emerson said they were unfinished. If that’s the case and you would prefer to keep them until completion, I’m happy to wait.” He said.

“Eight. You want eight of my paintings?”

“Including the one I already purchased, that’s nine but yes. Are there more in that series?”

“Not yet.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“They’re finished. You can have them.”

“Mrs. Emerson will take care of the details then. Enough business. I find that once again I owe you an apology…for last night.”

“It’s okay, really.” I knew he was going to mention last night and frankly, I didn’t want to talk about it at all. He’d kept my mind off Lisa and Evan and him.

“It’s not okay; I crossed a line with you. I’m sorry.”

I stopped in my tracks and let go of his hand. I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding it the entire time. “What exactly is it that you do, Cole?”

“My family has a business.” He said abruptly.

“That was vague. Sorry, I shouldn’t have been so nosy.” I started to walk away.

“No again, Jesus! I’m sorry.” He threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “It’s my father’s company but I run a branch of it now. I never intended to be a part of it but now I am so I try to make the best of it. The painting of the sea is for me but the others are a company investment.” He smiled at me, almost like he was begging for me to give him a chance.

“Good answer.”

“We should get back. Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? I know you’re involved and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just want to enjoy your company if you’ll let me. I promise to be a perfect gentleman.”

Damn.

“I can’t.” It looked like I knocked the wind out of him. I wasn’t ready to divulge everything. I didn’t want to get emotional with him and I knew it wouldn’t take much for the floodgates to open.

“I understand. I shouldn’t have asked. You made yourself clear last night. We better get back.” He stood up. “I’m sure you have other things you need to do today. I’m sorry I’ve monopolized your afternoon with…business. Thank you for having lunch with me.” He was being so formal. Picking up his shoes, he didn’t even check to see if I was still beside him. He was all business now.

“Wait, please stop walking so fast. My fucking head is killing me.” He turned around and took in my face.

“Oh.” He said softly.

“What do you mean, ‘oh’?” I asked, trying to catch my breath.

“Something’s wrong. I didn’t see it before. It’s not just your head, what happened?”

“Please, Cole. I’ve had a, God, I don’t even know how to describe it. How about a ‘tumultuous’ twenty-four hours. I just need a minute to take a breath. It’s nothing personal. I would love to have dinner with you, but not now. Can you please just give me some time to get my head around... my life? Please?”

He dropped his shoes in the sand and cupped my face just as he had not twenty-four hours before. If I met his eyes, I’d have to kiss him. Or cry. Or both. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. I was too vulnerable. “Look at me, Anika.”

“No” I said and shook my head slowly, looking at the sand beneath my feet..

“Please look at me.” He asked softly.

“No,” I answered in almost a whisper.

“Please.” His thumbs brushed my cheeks. I looked up and saw his pleading. He wanted something from me. I wanted to give him whatever that was but not now, not like this. It was too soon, too raw.

“You’re right. There is something but I need you... ” I felt the tears escape and he brushed them away.

“You need me?” He asked hopefully.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” I was trying so hard not to whimper, not to show this weakness. At my rejection, his shoulders began to slump. “I can’t, please. It’s too much, it’s too intense. I just can’t, not now.”

“So, I can…hope?” He asked, holding my gaze.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again, almost in silent prayer.

“Yes.” I couldn’t deny that I wanted to know more about Cole Carlyle. I wanted to hear what he thought about everything. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I wanted to fix him, feel his pain, know how he copes. He seemed to already know me better than I knew myself and certainly better than Evan. “Whatever this is, whatever there could potentially be between us, it can’t be like this. I don’t want it to be tainted.” He thought I was still in a relationship of course, but the meaning was the same. I didn’t want Cole to be a rebound.

He pulled me into a hug and I didn’t hesitate holding him just as tight, holding on for dear life but the emotion started to flood me again. I had usually practiced at keeping my emotions at bay but I couldn’t with him. He was making me open myself to possibilities I never indulged or wondered about. I had no doubt he could handle me and my past. I just wasn’t sure I could let my guard down. Not now, not after the hurt I’d just endured.

I pulled away from him and walked back to the gallery. I knew he was right behind me but I never acknowledged him. When we arrived at the back door, I spoke to Alicia.

“Hi, Alicia. Listen, whatever Mr. Carlyle wants, that’s fine. I trust you to negotiate what you think is fair for me and for the gallery.” I grabbed my purse from the desk in Abe’s office.

“I’m sorry to do this but I’m really not feeling well. Do you think we could talk another day?” I made sure to look as anxious and miserable as possible, so I didn’t have to fake it.

“Of course, Inky. That’s fine. You and I can speak another day.” She was as affable as ever but I’m sure she assumed there had been some kind of exchange between Cole and myself.

“Thank you. Abe, can you walk me out?”

I turned away, not acknowledging Cole. His hands were in his pockets, awkwardly standing with Alicia. I should have been embarrassed by my behavior but I couldn’t be bothered to have any more emotions in one day.

Safely out of earshot, Abe moved us toward a tree to block us from prying eyes, “Inky, darling, what is going on with you? You look worse now than when you arrived. Did he upset you, Mr. tall, dark and handsome?”

I took a few deep breaths and told him everything. “Last night, last night was incredible, Abe. To see people actually admiring my work, to have Alicia negotiating commissions for me, this is my dream come true. Thank you. I know it wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for you. But part of that dream was to share it with Evan, you know?”

“What did that smarmy little weasel do?” He looked pissed. I trusted Abe; he was one of my confidants. I’d even told him about Joe and I knew I could tell him anything.

“You’re not gonna like it, Abe. I don’t want to go into it but basically, he cheated on me, I caught him last night when I got home and we broke up.”

He looked past me. I could see his thoughts gathering, he was carefully planning what he was going to say, or so I thought.

“Good.”

Huh? “Good?”

“Yes. Inky, that guy has been stringing you along for what, three, four years?”

“Yes, but…”

“And every time you were happy, he would swoop in and screw with your heart and convince you there might be a chance for the two of you.”

“That’s not exactly how it…”

“Yes, Inky. That is how it happened. You would never have cheated on Gerry. I don’t doubt the two you would have split anyway, but not like that. Evan cheapened you. He influenced you and I know you’re not happy about that. He manipulated you into loving him, always keeping you hoping with his little liaisons. Well, good riddance.”

“You could have mentioned this before, you know.” I said smiling up at his tall, lithe frame.

“No, I probably couldn’t have. Nothing anyone said would’ve changed your mind. You know what pisses me off about you?” I stiffened, bracing myself for the words to come.

“Uh, what?”

“You don’t know your worth. You’ve been made to feel like you’re not good enough. Years of that kind of abuse is bound to really fuck with you. But at some point, I hope you meet someone who sees you for the wonderful girl you are and cherishes you. Treats you like a Princess.”

“That’s just it, Abe. I thought that person was Evan. I still love him. I don’t love what he did to me but I can’t just turn that off. I thought he was my future... ” I couldn’t speak. The words were there, the words that Cole had said to me less than twenty-four hours before.

“What? What is it?” He asked.

“Nothing. I gotta go. I’ll see you Monday if that’s okay. I want to spend a little more time in the studio. I’ve taken a month off from Rusty’s, just to give me some space and time away from Evan.”

“Sweet Pea, I would love that. I know there’s more you’re not telling me. I can’t wait to hear the details but I know it’s raw. We’ll lock the place up for lunch and have Talkies and Thai. Deal?”

“Deal.” I agreed. Then I got in the car and drove away. I never looked back toward Cole and Alicia, even though it took all my willpower not to. I would certainly have more to tell Aimes when I saw her.

Chapter 15

On Monday morning at ten a.m. I arrived at the gallery. I wore a little black blazer with a red pinstripe, a red silk shell and three quarter black dress pants. I swept my dark hair into a nice chignon (a style my BFF had forced me to master) and garnet earrings. Well, not real garnets, but nice none the less.

Abe had a great sense of timing and I was met with a perfectly warm latte. Not too hot and not too cold, just right.

“Here. I have muffins in the office. You and I need to have a chat and I’m afraid it can’t wait until Thai and Talkies. Tall, dark and rich grilled me about you after you left. Tell me what’s going on? Start at the part when you left the exhibit with him. Okay…begin.”’

“Abe, let me at least have half this muffin.” I said teasing him. I had already planned on telling him everything.

“I don’t care if you chew with your mouth open, macerating every damn bite…start talking. I can’t stand it.”

“Very well.” I let out a big dramatic sigh and put down my muffin. “We didn’t say a word to each other until he veered off to the Lookout. He helped me out of the car, we looked at the ocean, we talked, he tried to kiss me, well, he kissed my neck but I stopped him and asked him to take me home.”

“Why on earth for?” He looked absolutely disgusted.

I let out a stifled laugh, “Because I was in a committed relationship with a guy I was gonna marry?”

“Timing is everything, huh?”

“Yep. I explained Evan was my future and, without missing a beat, he said ‘Evan is your now. He’s your safe.’ I’ll never forget it as long as I live.”

“God, he’s dreamy.”

“Abe, I should never have left with him in the first place. It was stupid. All I did was lead him on and make myself look bad. When I was dating Gerry, I did the same exact thing. Except this time I replaced Evan with Cole. Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

“But you didn’t sleep with him, did you, sweet girl?”

“No, God no.”

“Then you didn’t cheat.” He put his hand on mine.