Innocence (25 page)

“You aren’t?”
 

Lisa was finding it increasingly difficult to speak with his fingers doing wicked, intimate things to her body. Their positions didn’t seem conducive for what he clearly had in mind, but when she tried to turn to face him, he held her in place.

Puzzled and a little wary, she tensed when he lifted her leg.

“It’s all right. You can trust me.” He slowly entered her from behind, rocking his hips and pushing inside a little further with each movement, until he was all the way inside her again.

There seemed no end to the possibilities when it came to lovemaking. Or to their appetite for one another.

“Oh, my,” she whispered, and then giggled, surprising them both.

“You find this funny?”
 

 
“No, it’s just, you seem to have a detrimental effect on my vocabulary.” Arching backwards, she moved her body in rhythm to his slow, gentle thrusts.

“You have a very
beneficial
effect on me.” Nathaniel’s words hummed against her shoulder. “Every. Single. Aspect.”
 

“But we
will
get to talk some more later?”
 

She was determined to gain his assurance before she was swept away by the power and passion of his lovemaking once more.

“You have my word.” He groaned. “But most definitely
later
.”

Chapter 21

Hopes

Opening her eyes, Lisa blinked at the sight of pale spring sunlight streaming across her pillow. Stiff, sore, but not at all sorry for herself, she sat up, clutching the sheet to her breasts.
 

“Lisa?” Ruth’s softly spoken query drew her attention, and she looked up to see her friend standing by the bed. “Sorry to wake ye. But it’s almost noon, and his lordship said ’e’d be coming to take ye for a walk in the gardens after lunch.”

Lisa’s eyes widened. “Good heavens. I can’t believe I slept so late.”

“I can,” Ruth said wryly. “If the state of the room and yer ’air is anything to go by, I’d say ye ’ad quite a night.”

Lisa shrugged sheepishly, relieved to see Ruth smile at her admission. But then the girl’s smile faded.

“Lord Marsden treats ye well?”

“He certainly does.” Lisa blushed.

“I’m glad for ye.” Ruth nodded decisively. “He
is
the Duke’s son, so I figured ’im for one of the better ’uns.”

Lisa didn’t dispute Ruth’s assessment, though she worried her relationship with Nathaniel might be causing unpleasant memories to surface in the girl’s mind.

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to move past what happened to you? To find love one day?”

“Love ain’t the problem,” Ruth said, her dreamy look giving way to a grimace. “It’s what comes later on I ain’t so sure about.”

Lisa nodded sympathetically, unable to imagine being intimate with a man after having been through an ordeal of the magnitude the girl had suffered. She hoped for Ruth’s sake being with a loving and gentle partner of her choosing might make a difference one day.

“You and Ben?” she asked, and it was Ruth’s turn to blush.

“Aye. He says ’e loves me, and ’e’ll wait for as long as it takes. I do like his kisses, so maybe one day.” She shrugged uncertainly.

“I hope it works out for you both,” Lisa said, not wanting to overstep the mark.

“Oh, aye, so do I, Miss.”

“What’s this ‘Miss’ business?”
 

Ruth took it a step further and dropped a curtsy.

“If I’m to be yer lady’s maid—and ’specially considering yer a real lady and not just pretendin’ to be one—I think it be best if I started playin’ me part right.”

Lisa winced. “That’s very kind of you, Ruth, but do you think you could wait until we’re no longer at Worthington Hall to address me so?”

“What do ye mean no longer at Worthington Hall?”
 

Lisa recalled she’d yet to ask the girl if she’d like to accompany her to London. A part of her was uncertain if she should still do so, as the more knowledgeable she became regarding her new station, the more precarious it appeared.

“Lisa?”
 

“How about we continue this discussion while I bathe and dress?”
 

At Lisa’s suggestion, Ruth hurried to bring her a robe. Once she was soaking in a tub filled with hot water and bath salts, Lisa told her about Nathaniel’s plans.

“I’ll ask Lord Marsden if Ben can come also, if it’s what you both want. He said I’m to have my own horses and carriage, so I’ll need a groom. Do you think Ben would be interested?”

“Aye, I’m sure of it. He thinks Lord Marsden is brilliant when it comes to ’orses, and ’e’d jump at the chance to work for ’im.” Ruth ducked her head “And to be with me.”

Taking a deep breath, Lisa broached the less palatable aspect to the situation.

“Before you make your decision, you need to keep in mind you’d be in service to a gentleman’s
mistress
. Not quite as respectable as working in the household of a Duke, I’m afraid.”

“It don’t bother me none.” Ruth shrugged, and Lisa smiled her gratitude.
 

After a light luncheon Stephens delivered on a silver tray, Lisa awaited Nathaniel’s arrival. With her hair freshly coiffed and dressed in another new gown, she felt quietly confident in her appearance. It wasn’t something she had worried about overly in the past, but considering her current circumstance, she needed every advantage she could get.

The dress she had chosen for her meeting with Nathaniel was made from a light green fabric that brought out the colour of her eyes. Seeing her reflection in the mirror stirred up memories of home, and she found herself wondering how John and Helen and the rest of the staff were faring. She would like to think their neighbours would have defended her against Lord Copeland’s scandalous accusations, but somehow she doubted it. The weight of her circumstances bore down upon Lisa’s shoulders. The longer she remained with Nathaniel, the greater the risk of her identity becoming known. It was a pity she could not trust him with her secret, but it was too late to tell him the truth now.

Or maybe not.

Allowing a tentative hope to burgeon in her heart, Lisa shooed Ruth aside when the knock came, eager to greet Nathaniel herself. But when she opened the door, all she could see was a staggering assortment of spring and hothouse blooms gathered in a large array.

“Nathaniel?”
 

The bouquet lowered to reveal his smiling face.

After curtsying in response to his formal bow, Lisa thanked him for the enormous bouquet and handed it to Ruth. He’d said he would not be bringing her any flowers, and she couldn’t help feeling pleased he had changed his mind.

“I trust you slept well?” he asked.

“Yes, thank you. I slept very well.” She ducked her head at the memory of what had preceded her rest. He raised her fingers to his lips, a courtly gesture. At least, it would have been if he had immediately let go. Instead, he used it to pull her into his embrace, capturing her lips for a kiss. When he finally released her mouth, his eyes had darkened, but Lisa forestalled any diversions.

“You’re taking me for a walk?” she asked, albeit a little breathlessly.

“It’s overcast, but the head gardener has assured me if we keep our eyes peeled we may catch a glimpse of the sun.”

Lisa smiled, pleased at the possibility. Other than her trip to the village on market day, she had barely been outside Worthington Hall since her arrival.

“And we can talk?”

“Yes, my darling, we can talk.”
 

After she donned a new pelisse and bonnet, Nathaniel escorted her down the sweeping central stairway and out through the front doors to the gardens. To Lisa’s relief, they didn’t come across any of his family members or guests, though she averted her gaze when they passed members of staff. If anyone was looking at her with censure, she would rather not know.

The gardens were beautiful, and they strolled along the pathways for a while before she raised the first of a number of issues. Within a short period of time, she had received Nathaniel’s agreement Ruth and Ben could accompany her when they left Worthington Hall. Her hope was Nathaniel would make sure they were taken care of if—no,
when—
she was required to flee.

He didn’t deny Sam was a bright young lad, but he seemed surprised when she suggested the boy be granted the opportunity to further his education.

“I think he’s happy working in the stables, but I’ll consider it, if you think it’s warranted.”

Lisa smiled broadly as he led her to a bench in a vine-covered gazebo overlooking the lake.
 

“While I admire your concern for others, I’m curious to know if there is anything you would ask for yourself?”

Sensing her opportunity, Lisa felt a fluttering in her stomach, nervousness instead of desire, for a change.

“Not
exactly
.”
 

“But there is something?”
 

Taking a deep breath, she summoned the courage to broach the subject teasing her with the possibility for a very different future than the one Nathaniel had mapped out.

“What if . . .” She swallowed hard. “What if I
wasn’t
a commoner? What if I was a member of society, like you, though not as highly ranked. Say the daughter of a retired officer or maybe a country squire? I wouldn’t be a
lady
, per se, but as a member of the gentry, could we be together?”

“By
together
, I assume you mean marriage?”
 

Lisa doubted the answer would be yes but held her breath awaiting his response.
 

“Ah, sweetheart.” He enfolded her in his arms. “I know this is difficult for you, but there really is no other way. Please don’t misunderstand.” He pulled back to meet her gaze. “If anyone could pull off such a ruse, it would be you. Your father and governess did a remarkable job preparing you for entry into a higher level of society than the one to which you were born. With the right background story and someone willing to provide an introduction, you could waltz into any ballroom in London and have the society matrons eating out of your hand. Not to mention every wet-behind-the-ears young buck wanting to fill your dance card, and all the damned rakes wanting to . . . well, never mind. But your beauty and grace would only get you so far. The best you could hope for would be marriage to a very minor member of society, possibly the youngest son of a lord if he was particularly determined. Without a dowry and prominent family backing, even that would be doubtful.”

“But not a marquis?” Lisa added softly. “Not even if my position was legitimate and not a deception?”

Shaking his head, Nathaniel ran his fingers gently down her cheek.

“I’m no ordinary marquis, I’m afraid. As a descendant of George the Second, I’m subject to the Marriage Act and must gain the approval of the crown before I marry.”
 

“But you’re not a prince, are you?” Lisa puzzled.

“No, thank God. My great grandmother was supposed to wed a Prussian prince, but the negotiations dragged on for years, and she eventually settled for a duke. Her daughter, my grandmother, found herself in a similar position, and it was thought she would never wed. George the Third enjoyed toying with his royal cousins, refusing their choices for matrimony. But he surprised everyone by taking pity on my grandmother, approving her marriage to my grandfather, the Duke of Worthington, despite his less than aristocratic bloodlines. Consequently, Michael, Rebecca, and I are unencumbered with a royal title.

“Nevertheless, my future wife—the daughter of a duke or an earl at the very least—must have a lineage that is above reproach and easily verifiable. My father has plans for me to make a politically advantageous alliance one day
if
he can gain the new King’s approval.”
 

His voice and expression bleak, Nathaniel stared over the lake as he made his pronouncement.
 

Lisa’s heart ached at the loveless future he described for them both.

“What would happen if you were
to marry a woman of your own choosing?”
 

“After I’ve turned twenty-five, if my petition is rejected by the King, I can wait a year and bring it before the Privy Council. If they approve, along with both houses of Parliament, I may marry as I choose.”
 

His bleak expression let her know what he thought of his chances.
 

“Otherwise, I’d lose everything, be stripped of my titles and inheritance, and have to flee the country as I’d be committing a criminal offence. The marriage would not be recognised by the church, and my children deemed illegitimate.”

“Good Lord,” Lisa whispered, stunned. She had thought the chances of them being able to marry were slight, not nonexistent.

“Darling, it’s no great tragedy. Even if I
could
marry you, I wouldn’t want to.”

Lisa flinched and went to stand.
 

“Let me explain.” He caught hold of her arm. “I would rather have you as my mistress than my wife any day. It’s better this way.”