Innocence (28 page)

The risks if she stayed with him were both real and as far as she could tell insurmountable, just not the ones Lord McGivern was aware of.

“The thought of Nathaniel being harmed in any way is an anathema to me,” she said.

“Having made your acquaintance, I now fear your absence from his life may do the greatest harm. But I can see you have my friend’s best interests at heart and will desist from pressing you further. Despite the harshness of my prior accusations, I hope you might consider coming to me if you should need assistance in the future.”
 

His complete turnaround in manner and opinion astonished Lisa, but she doubted she would ever take him up on his offer. The risks
were too great.

Chapter 24

Courage

If Nathaniel was surprised by the way Lisa threw herself into his arms when he arrived that evening, he made no comment other than his usual words of endearment. While Lord McGivern and she had parted on better terms than when he had arrived, Lisa had been rattled by the encounter. She didn’t tell Nathaniel about his friend’s visit, afraid of his reaction and of giving away more than she should. But it saddened her to add one more prevarication to the list of those she had already told. Sometimes it felt the only honest interactions between them were at opposite ends of the spectrum . . . the superficial sharing of their ideas and opinions or the intimate sharing of their bodies.
 

After spending time acquainting each other with the events of their day, they dined in her suite before sitting by the fire. When it came time to retire,
early
as was their habit, Nathaniel turned to her with a request.

“I thought we could spend tonight in my bed, if you were agreeable. I dreamed about having you with me so many times before offering you my protection, I’d like to make it a reality on at least one occasion while we’re at Worthington Hall.”

Lisa gave her assent, flattered to think he had wanted her so badly from their very first meeting. His considerate deeds, almost constant expressions of love and, of course, his passionate lovemaking all combined to bolster her belief in the genuineness of his affections. On occasion she questioned her worthiness to be the recipient of such bounty. But Lisa concluded it was not her place to deny a man of such high standing what his erudite tastes demanded.
 

The smile Lisa’s musings elicited faded as she once more considered the future. If only she could be everything
Nathaniel wanted and needed, fulfilled every role in his life and not merely the one available to her.
 

“Give me a few moments to change, and I’ll meet you in your suite,” she called over her shoulder, fighting a growing sense of despair.
 

Lisa had considered asking Nathaniel to take an extended trip but feared she would incite his suspicion, not that it was easily aroused. It really was a wonder how many inconsistencies he was willing to ignore in the name of love.
 

When she entered the dressing room, Ruth was waiting for her, having returned from her dinner with the staff. Lisa had never expected to say such a thing, but she missed being able to dress herself without assistance. Not that she was pining for the horrid maid’s uniform or preferred wearing her button-front blue dress day in and day out, but there was something to be said for wearing clothes that could be donned and removed without assistance.
 

Fashions for the upper classes were designed for the wearer to be unable to dress alone, evidence of their exalted position in society. Only members of the
ton
could afford the requisite lady’s maid or valet to help them with the extravagant garments. Unsure where her future might lead, Lisa made a mental note to discuss with the seamstress ways to make a few of her plainer gowns wearable by a lady who was required to dress herself.

After receiving Ruth’s assistance to change into one of the modest nightgowns she presumed had once belonged to Lady Rebecca, Lisa wished her friend a goodnight and then reassessed her attire. Thankfully, there were a few items of clothing a lady could don without aid.

Crossing to a dresser, she opened a drawer and removed the white silk negligee and robe Nathaniel had provided for her to wear their first night together. On that nerve-wracking occasion, she’d been far too shy to consider agreeing to his scandalous wishes. But something about tonight felt right
,
and she quickly changed into the silky garments.
 

Although tempted to avoid looking at her reflection in the full-length mirror, Lisa checked her appearance before leaving the relative safety of the dressing room. Her long red hair hung in waves almost to her waist. The locks partially cloaking her breasts which were otherwise clearly visible through the gown—a mere whisper of silk and sensuality that floated in revealing folds to the floor. Apprehensive, she considered the view from Nathaniel’s perspective, and a soft but far from shy smile lit her face as her courage returned.

Nathaniel opened the door to his adjoining suite at Lisa’s knock and immediately froze in place, his jaw dropping open.

“May I come in?”
 

“Yes. Yes, of course.” He shook his head and stepped aside.

“Heavens.” She came to a halt inside the door. “How lovely.”

The fire blazed, though not too hotly, and before it Nathaniel had placed a quilt and at least a dozen pillows. Numerous candles cast a soft glow around the room, the effect rather magical.

“I’m glad you like it, but
you
are the lovely one.”
 

She looked up to see his gaze slowly perusing her body from top to toe and then back up again. His gaze seemed to linger over every curve, dip, and swell before meeting hers, his expression awestruck and aroused.

“You own me, Lisa,” he whispered. “My life, my
heart
, are yours.”

Lisa wanted to assure him he could trust her with their possession, but she couldn’t. Pain stabbed at her chest when she considered what her leaving would do to him, for she doubted her own heart would ever recover. Before she could respond, he closed the distance between them and drew her into her arms, his hands sliding over the smooth silk of her gown while his lips claimed hers. He growled possessively, and she whimpered beneath the onslaught of his hands and mouth.

When he finally released her, breathless and a little dazed, she marvelled at the desire she saw in his eyes, a desire that would grow to fever pitch in them both before they found release in one another’s arms. Before they could continue their journey of shared passion, she looked around and smiled.

“So you’re finally going to ‘have me’ on the floor by the fire?”

Nathaniel frowned, then clapped a hand to his forehead.

“You’re referring to our carriage ride when I told you all the ways I’d imagined making love to you?”
 

“You do realise I had absolutely no idea what you were talking about.”
 

“I do now. I was such an ass.”

“
Ahh
,” she whispered. “But what an irresistible ‘ass’ you were.”

His eyes widened.

“You’d rather I referred to you as a
pompous
ass?” She fluttered her eyelashes.

“You think I’m pompous?”
 

She pinched her thumb and forefinger together in front of him. “Maybe a little.”
 

“Such impertinence demands a response,” he said, lifting her in his arms.

“You seem to be forgetting I said you were an
irresistible
ass.”
 

She giggled as he bussed her neck with his lips.
 

“That’s all right then.”
 

He smiled between kisses and carried her to the love nest he had created by the fire before kneeling down with her in his lap.

“I apologise if my uncouth words hurt or offended you in any way.”
 

“No one could ever accuse you of lacking imagination.” She smiled.

“You inspire me. My imagination. My fantasies. My dreams.”

“Well, that’s all right then.” She moved to straddle his lap “Since you are the man of
my
dreams.”

Wiggling a little, she positioned herself so her feminine softness aligned perfectly with his decidedly masculine hardness. Rocking against him, she delighted in the feel of their bodies pressed together. Her silk covered breasts brushed against his naked chest, the nipples clearly visible through the sheer fabric. Without removing the gown, he leaned down to nuzzle her breasts through the negligee, brushing them with his lips and tongue until the silk was wet and clung to her flesh. When he blew puffs of air across the damp fabric, she arched her back, eager for more of his attention. He suckled her through the wet fabric, favouring both breasts with the same attention until she moaned aloud. After slipping the thin straps of the gown over her shoulders so that it pooled around her waist, his hands reached to cup her creamy, rose-tipped flesh.

“
Now
, Nathaniel, I don’t want to wait.”
 

She had prepared herself earlier, and tugged her gown up and out of the way. Releasing the ties on his silk pants, he allowed his erection to spring free. Grasping his length in her hand, she lifted high up on her knees to guide him to her entrance.

“Yes,” he hissed as she slowly sheathed him. “You’re better than any dream or fantasy.”

Moving seductively, she rose up on her knees so only his tip remained inside, and then lowered herself until he was buried deep inside. Groaning, his hips flexed upwards in rhythm with her sensual ride. Her breasts swayed before his eyes, and he captured a nipple with his mouth. Gently sucking the peak between his lips before drawing it deeper, he tongued her sensitive flesh while she moaned. She tried to ride him harder, but his hands on her hips prevented him from going deeper.

“Nathaniel?”
 

“I don’t want to hurt you.”
 

“You won’t,” she whispered. “I want more of you.
All
of you.”

His cheekbones stood out starkly as he clenched his jaw.

“Tell me if you need me to hold back.”

“I promise.” She moved her hand to rest on his shoulders, so she could lever herself up and down. With the other hand tangled in his hair, she guided his mouth back to her breast.

Lisa had grown in boldness over the days and nights they had been together, but Nathaniel didn’t seem to mind. His groans mingled with her cries as, bathed in golden firelight, they moved together. The expectation built higher until they climaxed simultaneously, the pleasure pulsing through Lisa in wave after wave until she couldn’t tell where Nathaniel ended and she began.

Returning to a warm, loving, and very satisfying reality, she nestled sleepily in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. After slipping the gown over her head, he lay her down on the fire-warmed blanket, cushioning her head on a pillow before divesting himself of his pants. Then wrapping his body around her, Nathaniel pulled a soft quilt over the two of them and held her close while they slept.

Lisa woke before him. Leaning up on one elbow, she stared down at his precious face, tears blurring her vision, as she wondered how she would ever find the courage to leave him.
 

“What’s wrong?” he asked upon waking.

She shook her head but didn’t speak.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.” He drew her down to rest her head on their shared pillow.

Lying on their sides facing one another, intimately connected by the warmth of their bare skin, Lisa remained silent.

“Please, sweetheart, tell me what’s bothering you.”
 

He drew her body partly atop his, and she smoothed his hair back from his forehead.

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking how much I love you, how much I love being with you like this.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered, and she relaxed against him, purposefully pushing her fears aside.
 

The soft light of the candles caught her attention, and she took in their surroundings more fully.

“You’ve gone to quite a bit of trouble here.”
 

He shrugged, but she could tell he was pleased she had noticed his efforts.

“I’m thinking there might be one or two more creative ideas lurking in that wicked imagination of yours,” she continued, a teasing tone to her voice as she sought to lighten the mood.

His brow quizzed as to her meaning.

“Fantasies of yours we’ve yet to fulfil?”
 

“Well, now that you mention it.” He rolled her over, pinning her beneath him. “There is still a position or two we’ve yet to try.”

“Truly?”
 

Her eyes widened in surprise.
 

“Truly,” he whispered, and proceeded to show her just how imaginative he could be.

Chapter 25

If

Lisa awoke late and lay staring at the canopy above Nathaniel’s enormous bed. He had left earlier to go for a ride, and she had enjoyed watching him wander around the room naked while he prepared for the day. Until his valet had arrived, at which point she had dived under the covers, mortified. Chuckling, Nathaniel had lifted the blankets to peer in at her.