Innocence of Love (28 page)

“No, she said nothing…but I have a deep gut feeling, she will turn me down,” he informed her, swallowing hard, his heart aching in severe pain like a knife had been pushed through.

“Why do you think that? Surely she can see how much you love her. I mean hell you have been by her side through thick and thin? I am certain she will come back to you with a better answer,” his mum said confident about the matter.

“Not sharing it, Mum. I have to leave in a few hours to get back to London in good time and get things set up for tomorrow,” he reminded her.

“I’m sure all will come good, just give her time, she has been through so much recently,” his mum added.

His mum came toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him into her chest for a tight cuddle. He placed his arms around her waist embracing tightly, loving her scent. She always knew what to say to ease his heart, yet he didn’t share her opinion on the issue. He loved Sophie without her he knew his life would be lost.

He had to remain strong, yet was weak…he hoped in time she would look into her heart and he would help her heal, if it took forever, he didn’t care. He would fill her life with joy, happiness and keep her from any harm. He guessed he had to wait for destiny, hoping it would take hold. Calvin would not give up, he couldn’t. He loved her and there was nothing more, he wished for.

Calvin went back to his room pacing, back and forth checking out the window waiting for Sophie to appear hoping she wouldn’t be far away. He collected his belongings together gradually filling his suitcase. He checked the time, almost 2pm, still no sighting of her. His heart got the distinct feeling she was not coming. He struggled to function correctly. His chest and heart were unresponsive he soon would end up in cardiac.

He could hardly breathe wondering if to warn York hospital, they might have a critical man coming in with a broken heart. He felt sick. All he could picture was Sophie and Kacey and how beautiful they both looked together. There was no denying Sophie was a great mum, he just wished she had mothered their son, but he wouldn’t argue or try and kick up a fuss, she did what she thought had been right at the time.

Packed and his car loaded. He gazed once more down the driveway, nothing.

He saw his mum emerge out the house.

“Doesn’t look like she is coming,” his mum established.

“No,” he agreed chocked. “Could you please do me a massive favor?” he asked.

She lifted her brows nodding her head agreeing.

“Don’t mention anything to Sophie about me proposing to her,” he begged not needing to course any riff or further gossip.

“Of course not the girl has been through enough. Give her time she will come around, I’m certain of it. She is confused and needs space and time…” his mum added when she reached for him to embrace a tight cuddle squeezing the lungs out of him.

He climbed into his car. The engine fired up. He took a slow drive out the driveway. Once he arrived to the small junction at the top of the lane she gazed toward the direction Sophie would arrive from but no sighting of her or her dad’s car. His heart ached. He sucked in a deep breath knowing…he was leaving without an answer guessing Sophie didn’t wish him to be in her life.

****

Sophie woke up finding Kacey in her arms. She inhaled a deep breath. She reached for her phone, aware time must be getting on not knowing how long she’d been asleep for…she bet she hadn’t got much time to get to Calvin…still unsure what her decision was. She would take Kacey to his parents’ hall and watch him with her, after all her daughter was what was important, not her or him, the tiny little girl who would grow up with them. If they were to be a family she had to test him giving her the best life possible, love and care. She recalled once Rob stating,
I would never take on another man’s brat, why the fuck should you. In fact I wouldn’t even date the woman if she had kids
. She rolled her eyes, but in fairness, Calvin was nothing like that scumbag, In fact they couldn’t be more opposite if you tried.

What worried her was Kacey, hadn’t had the best start, with tubes and beeping machines going on around her not forgetting being brought into the world via a C-section and pretty sudden.

She got her phone out and found it flat. “Oh for goodness sake.” With greatest of care she placed Kacey on the bed tucking her pillows around her. She found her charger and started charging her phone. She got dressed and brushed her teeth. She sat on the edge of her bed while firing up her phone, waiting for it to load. She combed her long dark hair and rolled her head removing the stiffness she’d suffered due to the way she’d laid. She rolled her shoulders removing the tension. She lifted her brows adding a sigh, her head full of thoughts of Calvin. She swiped her finger across the screen to find the correct time, 3pm.

“No, shit no,” she cried out.

Sophie had no time to waste. She quickly bundled her daughter up placing her onto her chest and grabbed her car seat. She rushed downstairs keeping a firm hold of her daughter.

“Dad…Dad,” she yelled out when he appeared frantic.

“Oh my goodness is Kacey okay?” he said in panic rushing toward her.

“She is fine. I need you to take me to Calvin before he leaves for London. I have to ask him a few things and well maybe it might determine our future, but we don’t have much time on our hands,” she told him placing Kacey in the car seat aware soon she would be waking up for her feed.

“Okay, let me get the car ready, honestly I thought something was wrong with Kacey the way you were shouting and holding her.”

“Sorry, Dad, to worry you, but this is urgent. I need to get to him before it’s too late,” she stated moving quickly him.

He walked out the rear door, heading to the garage while Sophie got Kacey ready.

“Mummy will feed you soon, I promise,” she stammered to her daughter keeping her voice calm not wishing to upset her daughter. Her breasts were filling once again, not a particular attractive sight, but she had no choice, getting to Calvin and stopping him from leaving, or at least delaying him for a short while was essential.

The car loaded with changing bag and pram. Her dad drove her to the hall, where Calvin’s parents lived she had no idea what she was doing or whether she needed psychiatric help. She felt a fool, stupid for falling asleep, heck she had done nothing but think about Calvin and the scenario and then when she was about to get dressed Kacey woke up needing a feed leaving them both falling asleep.

Her father drove into the long drive. She saw the hall looking exquisite and had the most sincere man inside, betting he was almost ready to leave. She bet he had almost given up on her, but she was here and had to get a few things off her chest.

Sophie jumped out the car and hurried to the main door knocking and pressing repeatedly on the bell not giving up until she got an answer. The door opened and she saw Anne.

“Hello, Sophie,” she said surprised.

“Hi, is Calvin in? I urgently need to talk with him...” she spoke fast. Her heart skipped to the dozen.

“I’m afraid not, he left about forty minutes ago for his trip back down to London,” Anne told her.

“What…no.” Her eyes welled up with tears. “Crap I have missed him. I fell asleep with Kacey…and then my phone died and then…oh no.” The tears started trickling down her cheeks.

“Hey, come here,” Anne spoke softly. She stepped toward her wrapping her arms around her. “Ssh, It’s okay…come on in and we will sort this,” Anne reassured her.

“But how? But how I’ve messed up,” she sobbed her heart out.

“Come on, I’m sure between us we can find an answer to this mess. You go through into the kitchen and put the kettle on,” she insisted.

Sophie could hardly argue with the woman with her being so sweet and sincere.

Sophie made her way into the kitchen finding the kettle, being sure she could smell Calvin and his lush scent, but then he hadn’t been gone long. She hated herself for falling asleep, wishing for once something would go right. She was right their relationship was doomed before it even got started.

She heard voices approaching. Her father entered the kitchen wearing a smile. Anne followed him entering the room carrying Kacey.

“I think someone needs to be fed,” she scoffed.

Sophie looked at her seeing her daughter was fast asleep. “You’re leaking,” she added.

“Oh, sorry…yes, I will wake her up,” she added. Her father smiled at her.

Sophie went to collect her daughter.

“Head into the sitting room and we will join you,” Anne added. Sophie did exactly what she was told.

The tears streamed down her cheeks, aware she’d mucked up again wondering when on earth it would all stop.

Annoyed, she’d missed Calvin, however, an idea came to her…that she would act upon. She smiled determined that nothing else, including her lacking in self-confidence would get in the way.

****

Gutted and anguished knowing now Sophie wasn’t interested in him. He had checked his phone several times for any missed calls or texts but nothing. He ached feeling sicker than ever. Calvin knew he had to leave her alone and get on with his life move on from the one woman he had craved for his entire life. God, he loved her and would do anything to be with her.

He arrived back in London and couldn’t even find it in him to call his mum, so he sent her text, letting her know he’d arrived back safe in the city. He sighed loudly his internal guts being ripped open.

Unmotivated he unpacked his belongings and went for a shower to freshen up. The heat had cooled down a fraction with storms forecasted, he hated storms, never been a big person on them and when he had been a child hid under the large table in the dining room.

Calvin felt suffocated hating the fact he was once again alone in the God forsaken apartment, but then in the morning he wouldn’t have time to think about a woman back up north…yeah right! Sophie would be the main feature he would think about it killed him that she wasn’t by his side, then he would never have a child running around his death trap.

Once freshened up, he went to the kitchen to see what he could eat. He hadn’t eaten a damn thing since last night and the meal he had, he hardly touched it, moving it from one corner of the plate to the other. He sighed, resenting the fact he hadn’t made more of an effort last night, with his best friend, instead of having his mind wandering for a certain woman, who he ended up wasting his breath on. He bet she laughed at him. Calvin bet she had a right giggle at his expense. He felt humiliated and a fool. How had he been so stupid to have fallen in love and dedicate his life to Sophie and her children?

He guessed he needed his head testing. He guessed it was time for him to come out the woodwork and get himself dating…dating. He screwed up his nose not liking the thought of doing so. Calvin slumped his shoulders to the thought of getting on the market, like cattle market, putting himself out there for women to look at and pray like vultures. The thought sickened him.

Calvin stared in the fridge, seeing the contents he had left, cheese, eggs, salad, butter, and bread. “Fine omelette it is,” he muttered, not being all too impressed, but there was no chance of him going out and facing the city.

He cooked the omelette which tasted pretty good, considering. He watched TV. The World Cup, he wasn’t particularly a football fan, but he decided to try and watch a little, but soon gave up and flicked the channel to find the movie
The Holiday,
he rolled his eyes reminding him of the night Sophie and him had in the cottage where he had been spoiling her rotten. He flicked it off to find
Love Actually,
he turned that off wondering if he would ever escape the woman. Was everything he did or see going to remind him of her?

Flicking through the channels to stroll across
One Born Every Minute,
women giving birth and their partners beside them or mothers, either which birthing partners. He watched for a few minutes seeing a woman screaming in agony while pushed her baby out. He sighed to the fact Sophie never had that opportunity with Kacey. He didn’t even know if she had a natural birth with Sabastian. Shocked, annoyed he didn’t know such information about his son, he had no idea how much he weighed, nothing.
I will talk to Caroline and find out all this information, after all, it’s things all parents should know, isn’t it?

Calvin knew he was doomed and there was no escaping Sophie Richards even when being involved with their son. Certain their paths would cross, wedding, grandchildren, funerals, parties etc. She would haunt him for the rest of his life.

He flicked onto a home channel,
Escape to the Country.
Perfect setting, being in the Yorkshire Dales…he switched it off not even needing to go there.

Music…he found a music channel while he pottered around the apartment cleaning his dishes, even though, he had a dishwasher, but what was the point with only him? Pointless exercise, but the apartment came with it fitted.

His phone sounded with that song…that song that he needed to change and with immediate affect
Deepest Blue,
by Deepest Blue. He sighed and picked his phone up seeing Ross calling him. He slid his finger across the screen and placed it to his ear.