Inside Danger (Outside The Ropes Book 2) (12 page)

I stiffened, expecting him to react but he simply looked up at me with a sigh.

“We’re trying to figure out who, but I know it wasn’t you. Rusnak knows that too.” His soft voice soothed me as he stepped even closer, leaving barely any space between us.

My breathing shallowed, but I still maintained control. “What about Nick?”

He slipped his other hand behind my neck, thinning my resistance even more. “You don’t have to worry about Nick. He’s the one that made mistakes. It was his deal that night, and he let them change the time and location, he let them set it all up so they would out number his crew. His mistakes killed Demetri, not yours.” His fingers grazed over my bare shoulder and arm, and his head dipped towards mine.

His slow movements had me in a trance but I snapped out of it, clinging to what little strength I had left and stepped out of his hold.

He nearly buckled over as I pulled away, but his hand shot out to my waist, stilling me. “Stop. You can’t still be mad at me. You know I’d do anything for you.”

I jerked away, hearing the lie in his words. “Except treat me with a shred of respect in public.”

He took in a deep breath, his hand gripped the back of his neck. “First, I knew they already knew about me going into your room, so I had to play that off as no big deal. Second, and most importantly, you couldn’t stay and hear the meeting we were about to have. I had to do something to get you out of that room and I knew you would react. I saw how tense you already were.” Dropping his hand to his side, he curled his fists. “I wanted to protect you. If you had stayed for that conversation, you would never be allowed out, not with your life, you would be in too deep.”

An icy chill shook me, making my skin prickle with goose bumps, but I met his eyes, deathly serious. “I’m already not going to get out alive.”

The look that crossed his face, a mix of regret and anger, only confirmed my words. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed me to him, filling all my senses and taking away the cold.

“No, you will get out of all of this. I’m going to get you out safe.”

I stopped resisting and let myself sink into his warmth, but I shook my head on his chest. “That’s not true. You can’t promise that, you don’t have that power.”

His hands moved to my face, to make me look at him. His eyes steady as he spoke, “I can promise.”

Realization dropped over me, crushing the security I felt with him. I pushed back feeling sick. “You were there for that conversation, that meeting. So that means you’re not getting out.”

He nodded once, jaw clenched. “I told you I would do anything for you. I haven’t lied to you.”

“Haven’t you though? All that talk about belonging to each other? You belong to Rusnak now.” I tried to wrap my anger around my panic, to keep from breaking down.

His eyes flashed with anger. “I did what I had to. But I don’t belong to him. I work for him. I’m good at this and he’s starting to trust me again. But you still come first.”

I closed my eyes against the pain of stepping further away from him. “Except when he’s around.” I opened my eyes, having pushed down all my emotions. “We can’t go on like this. It’s killing me, waiting for these moments. It’s better to stop altogether.”

There was panic in his eyes, and desperation in his movements as he clung to me, trying to pull me back in. “Don’t say that. I’ll take whatever I can get whenever I can get it. It’s better than nothing.”

I tried to push him away, but he wasn’t letting me, and I felt drained of strength.

“That’s not good enough. I can’t do that. I can’t let myself depend on you when you’re not there.”

He buried his face in my hair, his strong arms pulling me into him tighter. “I am always here. I am always thinking of you. This is all to keep you safe.”

“No, you’re keeping yourself safe. And I don’t blame you for that.” His grasp weakened at my words and I stepped away. “I’m just protecting myself too. That’s why I need to walk away because this only makes me weak.”

I started towards the door, but his hands circling around me from behind stopped me. His whispered breath sent a current through me as he leaned into my ear and spoke, “I’d give you it all.” His hand spread on my stomach, pulling me back into him. “Don’t go.”

This tug of war was driving me crazy and it was my sanity that was slipping and losing.

“Let’s leave.” I turned around in his arms and wrapped my own around him. “We could leave and go away from here. Run away from all of this.” Looking up at him, my brief bubble of hope burst.

The look of regret was back. “We can’t leave.” He locked his arms around me, keeping me in place. “Look around tonight. Do you see all the people Rusnak connects with, people of power? Even the police commissioner is on his payroll. And soon things will change and you can be mine openly. Just wait. I love you, believe that.”

“You say a bunch of pretty words, but they don’t mean anything without action.” I pushed away one last time, headed for the door. “You’re doing well in all of this, I can tell, and I don’t want to bring you down.” The way he spoke of Rusnak’s connections merged with my memory of his easy smiles at these parties, and I realized this was him. Stepping further back, I cut lose my feelings, getting rid of them. “I have to do this on my own. It’s better for both of us this way.”

I pulled open the door as he grabbed my arm. “You’ll see I mean what I say.”

I twisted towards him. “You don’t get it. I’m telling you not to bother. I want out and you don’t.” I yanked free and escaped the room, walking away.

As I made my way back into the ballroom Rusnak stopped me with a hand on my back. “I was beginning to worry. Where have you been?” He spoke in my ear with a smile covering his suspicion.

“The bathroom, I’m not feeling well.” My head was swimming and my stomach was in a vice.

His eyes dropped over me. “You don’t look well. Have a seat and don’t go anywhere. We’ll be leaving soon.”

In the limo, his wife kept her hands on him, petting at his chest as they talked about everyone they saw and what new connections they made. When the limo pulled up to their house, Rusnak got out with his wife. Then he leaned back in to the car and spoke low to me. “You can tell Kiera something’s come up.” He winked with a sly smile. “I’ll call you Sunday about the gun range.” He closed the door.

I HAD SOMEWHAT CONVINCED MYSELF I WAS being dramatic when I told Gage I wasn’t making it out alive. But as I watched Rusnak load an M16 assault rifle, I was certain my words were true.

My thoughts had already been spiraling down since I talked to Gage Friday. But I had thrown myself into training and wouldn’t allow myself to form any assumptions about what Rusnak wanted.

The sinking realization that I would be killed started when he sent a stranger to pick me up from the apartment. Kiera had thought Rusnak was showing up and primped for him. Her face dropped when she opened the door to this other man and she sulked away to her room, just like she had done Friday night when only I came back. Except this time she didn’t glare at me, she gave me a nervous, wide-eyed look.

When the man finally spoke, telling me to come on, a knot ripped in my stomach. It was the guy from the phone, the one that knew I was on a walk that first night here in the apartment.

As we pulled onto the back roads leading to Rusnak’s, I fully expected him to pull out a gun and shoot me. It wasn’t that he was mean, he wasn’t. He was silent. I didn’t exactly know why they would kill me now, but I figured maybe because of Demetri, or maybe Nick finally convinced Rusnak I was talking to the police.

I kept my hands on my legs, out in the open, and sat statue still, barely even breathing. I doubted I could move faster than him and a gun, but I would try. When the car drove over Rusnak’s property, to his Gun range, my blood was pooled heavily in my feet, leaving the rest of me freezing.

As I got out of the car, the boom of a shotgun sounded and I almost fell over thinking that was the sound of my death, but the bullet never reached me. Rusnak had shot a distant target in the tree lines.

He greeted me with a smile and told Boris, the stranger who drove me, to come back in an hour and then escorted me into the stables.

He had the M16 taken apart on a table. Putting the pieces together he tried to explain to me the history of the gun and the power, but I wasn’t listening. All I could do was stand and stare as I contemplated if I should run or attack now before the gun was put together and operational. But my feet never moved.

“Have you shot a rifle before?” he asked, with the weapon now built and loaded, resting on his shoulder.

I shook my head, eyes on the gun.

He cocked his head with a ghost of a smile and lifted my chin up with his free hand. “Always so serious. You’re much too young to be so serious.”

I leaned away from his touch, but the tightness in my chest kept me from speaking.

“We have girls your age working at the club, they’re always smiling and joking, always looking for the next good time. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile yet. Those girls are fun to be around.”

I shrugged and spoke through the strain in my chest. “Then go be around those girls.”

If he was going to kill me, I wish he would just get on with it and make a move. This unknown anticipation was straining all of my muscles.

He clicked his tongue with a grin. “Sweetheart, I invited you today.”

“Why?” I stopped breathing as I waited for the answer.

His smile grew and he nodded out the stalls, into the bright sunshine. “To shoot, so let’s get to it.”

“Ah, there’s that smile.” Rusnak took a step towards me as I lowered my gun, having shot all the rounds.

I dropped my smile. I should have shot him when he gave me the gun, but he always held one of his own too.

“Did you like the feel of it? That could be your gun if you like it.” His long fingers slid over my hands, removing the gun from me, as he nudged closer.

I shot him with a look, hoping it would keep him back, but knowing it couldn’t.

He met my eyes, for an intense moment, a standoff. Then the corners of his eyes wrinkled slightly with his soft smile. “You have her eyes.” It came out just slightly louder than a whisper. “And her smile. But she used hers more than you.” His eyes dropped low. “At least when I first met her.”

My skin broke out in goose bumps as a cold chill shot through me, my body was warning me for bad news. I took a step, only wanting to get away from him.

He gripped my shoulder as I turned. “Don’t walk away from me.” His voice was cold with the order, soft tone gone.

I turned around and crossed my arms, trying to protect myself from whatever was happening. “Who?” If he was going to make me fight this head on, then so be it.

His lips thinned as they stretched into a smile. “You’re stronger than her though, that’s a good thing.”

I jerked away from his hand as he tried to tuck a stray hair behind my ear. “And she would never have worn her hair up like you, or jeans like you. She was always dressed up, in an appealing way.”

It was like he was squeezing my heart in his hands, squishing it with his riddle.

He sighed. “But your mother didn’t stick around to teach you any of that.”

My heart exploded and I might have blacked out, but we were still both standing in the same spot when the spinning slowed.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” My head was pounding.

He gripped my elbow, maybe for support or maybe to keep me from bolting. “Let’s sit down.”

My thoughts were all in pieces I couldn’t comprehend. Before I knew it, I was in a chair and he was dragging another one over close to me, so he could sit directly in front of me.

“I met Angela Sommers when I first moved to America, when I was your age.”

I dropped the hand I was rubbing my temple with and stared directly at him in complete shock. No one besides social workers and therapist had mentioned her to me, ever.

“She was most men’s type; soft spoken, sexy but classy. She was the boss’ girl, but she always treated me nice.” He slid his hands over the top of his thighs, his voice hardening. “I thought she was the perfect girl, but I didn’t realize she was so weak. When the boss was done with her she went off the deep end and your mom became a common, drugged out whore.”

Anger was boiling in me now, searing away the shock. “Don’t call her that.”

“Whore?”

“No. My mom.” I spit the word out. “She was no ones mom. I never had one.”

When he spoke her name, he released demons that I had trapped a long time ago. They took over my body and thoughts. I rose out of the chair, nearly knocking it over in my attempt to escape this conversation.

He was up just as quick, grabbing my arm, and I broke.

I spun on him and pushed him away. “Leave me alone. Don’t fucking touch me.”

He pulled his hands back, raising them palms up, but stalked towards me as I backed up further into the stables. I knew it was the wrong way, I needed the exit but I couldn’t pass him.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Of course you do.” My body was shaking as I stopped walking backwards. I’d soon be at the back wall and I didn’t want to be trapped there. “What other reason do you have for doing all of this? Everything you do is to scare the crap out of me.”

“Calm down.” He stopped walking towards me, eyes wide as my sanity slipped away.

“Calm down?” I shouted. “I keep waiting for you to attack me. And I don’t know if it’ll be to kill me, hurt me, or rape me. How the hell am I supposed to calm down?”

His chest vibrated with a breathy laugh and I gripped my stomach. He was enjoying tormenting me.

“I’m not going to do any of those things. I promise and I keep my promises.” He dropped his smile. “Now sit back down. We need to talk.” He stood behind a chair and gestured for me to sit.

Falling apart in front of him was the last thing I should be doing. And I was trying my damndest not to, but holding it all together was like holding onto water, it kept slipping out. My rubbery muscles somehow carried me back to the table, but I walked in a wide arc from him and chose the chair on the opposite side of where he stood.