Into the Nothing (Broken Outlaw Series Book 1) (14 page)

T
he alarm clock screams at me to get up far earlier than I’d like it to. Last night after work, Jack asked me to meet with him at six a.m. I’m hoping it’s not regarding the incident with Cody a few days ago. When Jack did ask me about it, I kind of just shrugged him off and made up a lie. He didn’t look like he believed me.

Regardless, there was never any police involvement after the fact. Not that I see that as a realistic course of action for a guy like Cody. Surprisingly, there’s been no repercussion at all yet. I’d be kidding myself if I thought it wasn’t coming. It’s only a matter of time.

Eyes closed, I swat a hand over the snooze button, and out of nowhere I feel Rowdy’s cold, wet nose meet the side of my cheek. He nuzzles into me as if bartering for my eyes to open and the food bowl to be filled, then he slathers the side of my face with saliva. I open my eyes and can’t help but laugh at his big brown eyes staring back at me. He lifts a paw and bats at my arm.

“
Alright
!”

After feeding Rowdy and letting him out to do his business, I make my way to the main house.

“Morning, buddy,” Jack says from the kitchen table as I come through the back door. A cup of coffee is cradled between his hands.

“Morning, Jack. The ladies gone already?” I pour my own cup of coffee and sip it, taking a seat across from him.

“Teresa is. Paige is getting cleaned up at the moment.”

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” I ask.

“I’ll actually need you to run up to St. Louis with Paige here in a little bit. Say around seven?” My ears perk up, my attention all his. That’s nearly a three-hour drive— just the two of us. This is not the conversation I thought I’d be having with him right now.

“No problem at all. What are we doing up there?”

“She’s gotta hit a big junkyard the ladies always go through for parts, and I’m going to have you hit the wine supply depot in Grafton while you’re at it. Paige knows where it’s at, and they know you’re coming. They’ll have everything ready for you once you get there. I’d have her do it all herself, but that’s a lot of lifting. Plus, there’s not an ice cube’s chance in hell anyone is driving my truck!” He lets out a hearty laugh and rises to his feet, then sets the cup in the sink.

“Oh, okay.” I stand, adding more coffee to my mug. “I’ve never been to St. Louis. It’ll be nice to see it.”

“It’s a real nice city, especially this time of year. Make sure you guys take some time to drive by the Arch. It’s definitely something to see. A drive-by is just fine though. You don’t wanna be getting into those tiny-ass elevators. It’s just asking for an anxiety attack.”

“Wait a second,” I say. “There’s an elevator in that thing?”

“Yeah, and if you have claustrophobia, you’re likely not to come back down conscious.” He shivers and then shakes the thought away. “Anyhow, I’m gonna go get changed. I’ll see you when y’all get back.”

“See you then.”

He heads upstairs and I take my coffee with me back to the guesthouse, my mind running a mile a minute. I’m both excited and nervous at the same time. Of course, I couldn’t be more thrilled to spend some time with Paige, just the two of us, but the more I let this girl in, the harder it is to keep myself from wanting her. I can’t want her. I can’t…but Lord knows I do.

I’ll stick to my guns, though. I
will
keep myself from ever being with her. There’s just too much to lose. What’s the point, anyway? My time here is fleeting. In three months or so, I’ll be back on the road, headed to Washington to see my little sister for the first time in twenty years—a sister who likely remembers nothing about me.

With the St. Louis Arch two hours in our rearview mirror, Paige and I are just an hour or so away from Truman Valley. The truck’s bed is filled to the brim, and my worried eyes have been cautiously checking it the entire ride. Most of our time together so far has been spent with the windows down and music blaring. Paige has somehow taken over my radio and forced country music onto my helpless eardrums. I don’t much mind though, because watching her belt out every tune is both hot as all hell and just a tad funny. She wasn’t lying… the girl really is tone deaf.

A road sign catches her attention and she abruptly turns the music down.

“Hey, so I almost forgot. I was hoping we could stop somewhere before we go back.”

“Sure. Where at?”

“Well, it’s my favorite place in the world. Somewhere my family and I always go. It’s just a few miles down the road off Exit 45. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” This girl could ask me to watch paint dry, and I’d be
all
for it.

A few minutes later, I see exit 45 and take it. There’s nothing except a plethora of trees and one old, abandoned gas station. Just as my doubts begin to rise, I notice a beautifully constructed wooden fence with a large sign atop it that reads: TWAIN LAKE. Paige points to a small dirt road just past the sign and I take it, careful not to spill anything out of the truck bed as I do.

We cruise down the road a mile or two, the woods around us thick with a richness in the leaves you only really see in the heart of spring. I notice an opening just in front of us and catch a peek of the lake and all its shimmering glory. The lake glints majestically from the midday sun and it beckons me toward it like a mirage.

Just before the lake, there’s a fork in the road. A few houses line the shore on all sides. Paige directs me to take a left, and I do so. The sprawling lake stretches into the horizon. As we pull down the road, she points to the first lake house we come across, and I see a dock jutting out from behind it.

“Here. Pull in here,” she says with a smile.

“Are we going to be trespassing? Because this looks like gun country.” She laughs and shakes her head as I park.

“We’re in Missouri. This whole
state
is gun country. But no, there’s no one here, and we definitely aren’t trespassing.”

“And how do you know?”

“You mean beyond the lack of any cars in the driveway? Because it’s ours.” She climbs out, shutting the door behind her, and I follow right after her.

“Wait, what?” She’s several paces ahead of me, heading straight for the dock. “Hey lady, wait up!”

She turns her head without slowing and says, “Hey, mister. Keep up!”

I jog a little until I’m just beside her.

“So, this is your place?”

“Yeah. Well, my parents’. My dad and I come up here a few times a year to hunt hogs. And usually the whole family will take a trip here for spring break every year. Come sit on the dock with me.”

“Wait, so you hunt?” I ask, genuinely surprised. “I feel like there’s so much I don’t know about you.”

She pops off her shoes once she hits the dock and sits down, dipping her feet into the water. I take off my own shoes and settle down beside her.

“What, do I not look like a girl who knows how to shoot?” She glares at me. “I’ll have you know I’ve been shooting since about the time I started walking.”

“Well damn, color me impressed.” She smiles and scans the lake, her eyes squinting through the beaming sun.

“There’s quite a bit I don’t know about you too, you know.” She looks at me with mischief written all over her face. I’m afraid of what’s to come. “That changes right now.” The joy she’s getting out of this is far from subtle.

“Oh, does it now? Am I going to regret coming here?”

“Probably,” she says with a devilish smile.

“Another game of twenty questions?”

“It was three questions, mister, not twenty. This is more like one question and one request.”

“Oh God.” I roll my eyes. “Yep, I’m definitely going to regret this.”

“Don’t be such a downer. There’s a lot I want to know about you, and I hope there’s a lot you want to know about me too. We don’t have a whole lot of time here, so you just let me do what I want. Mkay?”

“I feel like I should’ve taken shots before this.” I think about the fifth in the glove compartment. I wonder how I could grab a few shots without being figured out. I come to terms with the improbability of it, but the urge is so strong I can nearly taste the bourbon.

“Oh shush, quit being a drama queen!”

“Hey now, woman. I’ll do my best to play nice, but if you ever call me a drama queen again, I’m done with you!” I smirk and playfully swipe a leg against hers. “So what’s first, request or question?”

“I think request would be the best way to start, but you have to hear me out before you say no, okay?”

“Uh-oh. I don’t like the sound of this.”

“Come on now, I have a feeling you can handle it. Now, no interrupting until I’m finished. I’m serious!”

“Okay, okay. Just get it over with already.”

“So, Whittaker’s has an open mic night every month. It’s coming up next weekend, and I want you to do it.” My head is already shaking before she even finishes her sentence.

“No freaking way, woman. Not a chance in hell. You do remember I told you I’ve never sung in front of anyone, right?”

“Yes, you did. And then you sang in front of me, and hun, you are amazing. It’s not fair to keep that kind of talent to yourself. You heard my vocal skills in the truck—or lack thereof, I should say. I only
wish
I had a voice like yours. You need to share it with other people.”

“No freaking way,” I repeat, my head still shaking as if I were a four-year-old refusing broccoli.

“Listen to me, Xander. I know I said this was a request, but you can just consider it a requirement. I will make your ass go up there. Beyond your vocal and guitar skills being ridiculously impressive, your lyrics, your writing… it’s beautiful. You could connect with so many people in this world through your music if you wanted. I’m not bullshitting you. I really think you have incredible talent, and it would be so disappointing if other people never got a chance to hear it.”

“I’ve never done anything like that before. And I don’t think Truman Valley is the place I want to start.”

“You won’t ever start. You don’t want to, and I know it can’t be because you think you’re bad. We both know full well you aren’t. I think you’re just afraid.” For a moment I’m offended, but before I can proceed, I realize she’s right.

Spot on.

“You can’t let fear control who you are. I’ve seen you in action. You don’t let fear control any other aspect of your life. Why this?”

“I think it plays a bigger role in my life than you realize.” My gaze drops to the water, and my legs kick nervously back and forth, splashing the cool water back toward us.

“Well, that’s something I hope you share with me one day, but right now, this is about your music. I don’t think anything in this world should keep you from sharing this amazing gift God’s given you.”

“I honestly don’t even know how to respond. I don’t even know if there is a god. If there is, he sure hasn’t been there for me. Listen, I get where you’re coming from, but this has been a lifelong fear. Would I love to get up there and play? Fuck yeah. But I’m scared shitless about it. I feel like I’ll just go up there and freeze.”

“Maybe you will… though I highly doubt it. But how will you know if you never try?”

“That’s not helping any,” I say, flashing a nervous smile.