Into the Nothing (Broken Outlaw Series Book 1) (21 page)

“Sort of. I know I hit something. I’m afraid of what that could have been.” He finally looks at me, pure shame in his eyes.

“Well, thank God it wasn’t a person. Thank God you didn’t take somebody’s father away. Somebody’s son. Somebody’s brother. You only wrecked the guesthouse porch… this time.”

He puts his face in his hands and groans. Then he stands, staggering a bit before collecting himself and walking past me to the window. He looks out and sighs.

“So, yeah, there’s that fun little problem we now get to deal with. I already cleaned up your puke and Ethan’s on his way to tow your truck.” He looks back at me sharply. “How were the burger and fries, by the way?”

He looks back out the window, cursing under his breath again.

“How the fuck am I supposed to explain this, Xander? It was my Dad’s
brother
. He doesn’t look past stuff like this, no matter how much he likes you.”

“I’ll just tell him the truth. And then I’ll move on.”

“I don’t want that.”

He glances back at me. The shame in his eyes makes my heart ache for him, but I won’t let up. Not for something like this.

“I don’t want that either, Paige. But you’re right. We have no options. This is my fault. I’m a fucking moron, and I need to deal with the repercussions.”

“No, I won’t let that happen. I don’t want you to go. I just don’t want you to be a fucking idiot. I mean, seriously, is that like a regular thing for you?”

“No. Not at all.”

I’m not sure whether to believe him or not.

“Well, I’ve got your back this time. This time, and only this time… because I care about you. And I believe people are allowed to make a few mistakes… if you learn from them.”

“Paige, how exactly do we explain this?”

“Your truck is old. Brake lines go bad. That’s all we’ve got, and we’re going to roll with it. You need to get your ass in the shower, wash some of the hangover off your face and get that damn whiskey off your breath.” I pull my phone out and check the time.

“It’s 5:32 right now. Dad will be up in a few. We’ll meet him in the kitchen for coffee as usual. You tell the story and I’ll back you up.”

“This will never work, Paige.”

“Well, it has to work. Unless you have any better ideas.”

He shakes his head.

“Well, alright then. I share everything with my Dad. I always have. I’m his only daughter. He trusts me. And if I back your story up… he’ll trust us.”

I hope.

“Are you sure about this, Paige?”

“Just get in the shower, Xander.”

I leave the guesthouse without another word.

“S
o wait, what happened?” Mom looks up from her workstation and eyes me curiously.

“It’s an old truck. I guess it had been a while since he changed out the brake lines. Luckily, he wasn’t going fast. I’m surprised you guys didn’t wake up. It was loud!” I say, as convincingly as I can. I’m naturally a terrible liar, but to my parents? That’s a whole other story.

She seems to accept my explanation though and shifts her attention back to her pencil and paper, drawing up plans for her next project.

“Well, you know how heavy we sleep. It’s your father’s snoring. I’ve had to train myself,” she says with a smirk.

“Oh, trust me, Mom, you aren’t the only one who suffers. I can hear it from all the way downstairs. I’m still shocked you didn’t hear the wreck. It was pretty bad.”

“Is Xander okay?” she asks.

“Yeah, Brandi and I went out there right away and checked on him. He was a little shaken up, but otherwise alright. The guesthouse porch, not so much.” I laugh, scanning my mother’s face for any sign of doubt.

Her head pops up, her eyes gazing out the front windows in thought. She looks over to me slowly, a wrinkle of concern in her forehead.

“Do you think Cody did something to the brake lines?”

“I thought about that at first, but Xander was at Fort Leonard Wood all day hanging out with his friend. He wasn’t even around here. Ethan’s got the truck in his shop now though, so he’ll probably be able to tell us soon.”

She’s believing it now. I can tell by the way she looks at me. And I feel terrible for it.

“I bet that’s what it was,” she says, shaking her head. “Pardon my language, but I’d like to kick that boy’s ass. And that’s just what he is… a boy.”

“I know, Mom.”

“What he did to you…” Her voice trails off, and I know without even looking at her that tears are welling in her eyes. They always do when she brings up my past with Cody. “I’ll never forget it.”

I leave my desk and meet her at her workstation. I take her in my arms and squeeze her, holding her for a few extra seconds for good measure. She leans her head on my shoulder, sniffling.

“It’s alright, Mama. That’s over now. Never again.” I pause a moment. “Mama?”

“Yes, dear?” I release her and sit on a stool beside hers.

“I think I’m falling for him.” I haven’t mentioned anything to my mother about Xander and I at this point, but she nods as if she’s known all along.

“I feel so stupid because it’s been such a short time, but—”

“Do you know how long I knew your dad before I was convinced I was in love?”

I shake my head.

“Two days. And I hated him after our first date. The man forgot his wallet, for Pete’s sake!”

I laugh, remembering the story she so often tells… my father running terribly late, picking her up in a beater of a truck, getting all the way to the restaurant and forgetting his wallet, my mother having to pay.

“After the next date, I knew he’d be the man I would marry.” She smiles

“He was so charming, and dorky, and perfect. He was everything. Don’t put a time constraint on your feelings. Trust them. And trust your gut, of course. I like Xander, dear. I really do. I’d like to learn more about him, but I like what I do know. Your father likes him too. I’m not so sure he’ll like you all together though.”

I know full well if my father doesn’t already know, he will not be happy when he finds out.

“A lot of people at Whittaker’s last night,” she says, catching me off guard.

“Oh god. Does he know?”

Mom nods her head and my heart sinks.

“When?”

“Bryson Whittaker called your dad earlier today. Wants Xander to start playing one night a week up there or something. Talked about him being your ‘boyfriend,’ and obviously your father had all sorts of questions.”

I drop my head in my hands.
This is not good
.

“So how did Dad react?”

“Well, you know your father. Keeps to himself mostly. Didn’t talk to me much about it after Bryson called.”

“And Xander?”

“I assume they will talk. But honey, if these feelings are real and this is something you want to pursue, your father will understand. He’s got a bigger heart than anyone I know. He’ll get it.” She rests a hand on my knee.

“It’ll never go anywhere though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Xander’s leaving in like a month. He’ll never come back down here again. It’ll die off eventually.”

“Well, why does he have to leave?” Mom asks.

“It’s a long story… and not really mine to tell, I guess. He’s just had a really rough life and has some unfinished business he needs to take care of. He could stay longer, if he wanted to, but it would be selfish of me to try and keep him here.”

“I don’t see how it would be. Does he not feel the same?” She looks at me inquisitively.

“Yeah, I think he does.” I hesitate, knowing full well that he does feel the same, but still battling some self-doubt.

Could this all be a game?

“He says he does anyway, but there’s just a whole lot to it.”

“I don’t think anything should get in the way of love,” she says.

My thoughts stray to Xander and his sister. The longer he stays here, the longer he puts off reconnecting with her. And that… that is what’s most important. I just can’t get in the way.

“It’s complicated,” I say, exhaling with a long, drawn out sigh. I think about what it must be like between Xander and Daddy right now as they work, and I almost feel bad for Xander.

Almost.

“By the way… we’ve gotta talk about Caleb.”

I
got off easy this morning. Besides the blindingly painful headache and an unquenchable thirst, Jack seemed to buy the whole brake line story. Hell, he even suggested that Cody could have been involved. I went with it. When I need to act, I can
fucking act
.