Into the Nothing (Broken Outlaw Series Book 1) (31 page)

“He could’ve easily went into hiding after the attack. Maybe Russ and Benji are hiding him. I think we gotta focus on his friends.”

Paige looks inquisitively at me. “Is there something I should know?”

She tries to read my face and it feels like she sees right through me. I can’t tell if she knows or if she doesn’t, but this is not the time or place for it anyhow.

“Not at all. With everything that’s happened with you and Cody, with what he’s capable of, I don’t want you anywhere near him. And Paige…”

“Yeah?” she asks.

“Please be careful. You have no idea what your help means to me, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

“I honestly don’t know why I am helping. I still can’t wrap my brain around that.” She shakes her head.

“Do you still think I did it?” I’m afraid of what her answer will be, though I wouldn’t blame her. How could I?

“Do you still think it was me?” I ask, then regret asking immediately. But I desperately need to know the answer.

“I don’t know, Xander. This hate for you has been in my heart for a long time. It’s not something that can just go away. But the possibility of your innocence is there. And if there’s one thing that’s remained consistent, it’s that I’ve had a terrible time seeing you as a killer. I knew you. It was a short time, but what I felt for you…” Tears build in her eyes. “What I felt for you was real. I didn’t want to believe it was you for a long time. I fought it. My family is falling apart piece by piece, Xander. Don’t ask me what I think. I don’t know what I think. I don’t know anything anymore.”

I stand and put my hand to the glass as the CO calls that our time is up. I look at Paige and see the tears swallow up her beautiful doe eyes and it breaks my heart completely. In this moment, I want to pound this plastic until it breaks and take her into my arms. I’d never fucking let her go.

With every ounce of sincerity in me, I say, “Paige… I
didn’t
do it.”

I set the phone back on its cradle and walk the path back to my own personal hell on earth.

The days have been unbearably long—four of them since I last saw her.

If I didn’t have Twitch, I’d be a fucking mess.

Paige is all I can think about. The feeling of seeing her again only to be ripped away in ten minutes is so very bittersweet. It’s something though, and on sleepless nights, thoughts of seeing her again are what get me through.

The book in my hands does nothing to take my thoughts away from her. The hustle and bustle of normal midday prison activity doesn’t help much either. Without Twitch here to bullshit with, I find my mind running away from me. It makes it even worse that he got to go outside the gate for some denture work this morning. He still isn’t back yet. Chained and handcuffed or not, seeing something other than barbed wire and concrete would be incredible. I’d almost be willing to give an eye and some teeth.
Almost.

I’m right at the part in
Shutter Island
where US Marshall Teddy Daniels discovers that his wife drowned all four of their kids in a lake and it guts me in the way I love how books do. I set it on my lap, absorbing what I just read when I notice Joker and his crew lingering near my door, not looking in but back over their shoulders. My stomach squeezes into a tight ball. An icy chill travels throughout my veins. I know what’s coming, and it’s not going to be pretty.

Just past the BQs, four others in their posse start attacking each other, throwing wild, arching punches. COs swarm them in seconds, and that’s when Joker’s crew makes their move. I’m off the bed with a shank held tightly in my hand when Chester and Sanchez enter, hungry looks on their faces. Two more follow behind them and come immediately for me. I slash them across the face and arms, which moves them back, but the other two come at me immediately, grabbing at my arms. Sanchez buries a shank into my stomach, just above my hip. The pain is almost unbearable. It’s as if hot coals have been burrowed under my flesh. Blood pours from the wound and puddles on the floor. Chester then grabs my wrist, hard enough to make me drop my shank, and in one quick motion, throws me down onto the concrete floor, face first.

They kneel on either arm, and it feels as if my arms may snap like twigs at any moment. The concrete floor pushes the shank in deeper, taking the breath from my lungs completely. I start to fade in and out of consciousness.

I feel two more sets of hands cinch each leg. Chester grabs a fistful of my hair and slams my head into the concrete with full force. My ears start to ring.

Darkness.

I fight my eyes back open. A deep, mind-numbing throb ravages my entire head. My vision is blurry, and my taste buds detect only blood.

I feel Chester’s hand clutch my hair again. In my head, I beg him to stop, but words can’t be formed. Thoughts barely process. My head hurts so badly.

As he holds my head up, I see Joker through clouded vision laughing maniacally as he walks toward me, his hand pulling his dick out of his pants.

I feel my own pants being pulled down. I try to kick, but I can’t even tell if I’ve moved.

The darkness comes again as my face meets the concrete one final time.

F
or three weeks, I didn’t hear back from Xander. I sent him letters and even went as far as including my number in one of them, which I said I would never do. Still nothing.

But today I finally received a phone call from him and found out what happened. His voice, gravelly and weak, absolutely killed me. For the first time, I wish I could just get him out of there. For the first time, and for reasons I can’t comprehend, I believe he’s telling the truth.

This evening, I’ll have the chance to finally see him, but first, I have business to carry out. I’ve been tracking Benji and Russ for a few days now. I know where they live, and I’ve seen a few of the people they’ve done business with, but no sign of Cody. I don’t imagine he’d stay anywhere around here, but if there’s a chance…

This neighborhood is not one you want to be hanging out in after dark. I stay parked far enough down the street to not be made out. I give one last good scan before I head over to the prison, hoping I can get any sort of information for Xander. Anything that could clear his name.

There’s been a lot of activity around this house, but Benji and Russ rarely leave it.

I don’t want to believe my eyes when a distinct ’96 red Civic pulls up to their house. My heart clenches in my chest when my biggest fear becomes reality.

Caleb exits his Civic and approaches the house. Benji takes a step out, greeting him at the door. Caleb shakes his hand then pulls the backpack from his shoulders as he enters.

A slow-moving F-150 and suspicious eyes scare me from my spot. I’ve seen enough for now, anyway. I can’t stomach anything else today. I pull out and make my way back home to get ready to see Xander.

At least that was my intention. I can’t help but roll my eyes when I see Ethan sitting on our stoop, smiling with that odd little smile of his. He’s still wearing his Whittaker’s uniform, which is a nice little reminder that he quit his job at the garage so he could work with Brandi and me. Never mind that it was very much unwelcomed.

Here we fucking go.

“What’s going on, Ethan?” I ask, hearing the attitude in my voice though I tried to stifle it.

“I just got off work. Hadn’t seen you in a while and thought I’d drop by and say ‘hi’. It’s weird, but we haven’t really been scheduled together lately.”

“Yeah, sorry, man. I don’t make the schedule.” But Brandi does. Of course I’m not going to tell him I asked her to not give us shifts together. “And unfortunately, I’m just a little bit busy. Would you mind if I hit you up later?”

He motions for the door. “Just for a second? I wanted to talk to you about something really quick.”

Here it comes…

“Okay, Ethan, but only for a second. I really gotta hop in the shower.”

“What, you got a hot date?” he asks defensively as I unlock and open the door.

“Dude, Ethan, it’s three in the afternoon. Who the hell goes on a date at three in the afternoon? Is that what you came here to ask me?” I walk in and throw my keys onto the kitchen table, waking my dad up in the adjoining living room—but only for a moment. He’ll have to sleep through our conversation because Ethan
is not
going anywhere near my room.

“Do you want to sit?” He looks over his shoulder at my dad. “Or go in your room?”

“I’m fine here, Ethan. What’s up?”

He leans back awkwardly against the kitchen counter.

“You know, I’ve just thought a lot about you and I, and with what you’ve been through, and…” He still hasn’t looked me in the eye. Taking a big gulp, he digs his hands into his pockets.

“I just think… we make sense. I think it’s something we both have been fighting for way too long.”

Dear Lord, are you kidding me right now?
It takes everything in me not to cringe.

“Ethan, you’re a really great guy and I really appreciate you as a friend, but I think you’ve got this situation all wrong. I don’t look at you like that.”

“Paige, c’mon. We both know there’s something here. I want to protect you and take care of you. I want to be the best husband for you.”

I’m completely taken back. I knew it would be something along those lines, but I wasn’t quite expecting this.

“Listen, I’m not trying to be a bitch in any way, shape or form, but I’m not into you like that, Ethan. You have to stop talking like this.”

He stands, and his sudden movement startles me. A tingle trails up my neck.

“
Why
are you denying us, Paige?” His brows furrow and there’s a look of pure disdain on his face.

“I’m just telling you the truth. That’s it. Now, I think you need to leave.” I look at my dad. He’s still passed out and snoring. Ethan takes a step forward and puts a hand on my hip. I pull away.

“Ethan! I don’t like you like that. Please, now I have to get ready.”

“Going to see him again, huh?” he mumbles under his breath.

“
What
did you just say?”

“Nothing. I said nothing. I’ll leave you be. Just think about what I said.”