Into the Nothing (Broken Outlaw Series Book 1) (34 page)

She doesn’t just hug me, she hops up and wraps both legs around my waist. I instinctively grab them, getting turned on by just the feel of her toned legs against my fingertips. She kisses me, a deep, everlasting kiss that makes my lips tingle. She takes my bottom lip between her teeth and pulls back. I fight for our lips to meet again, but she stubbornly continues to pull back until finally giving in.

It’s a kiss I never want to end. It’s the perfect combination of passion and freedom. This is what I spent sleepless nights thinking about. This is what got me through the longest days of my life. These lips were worth waiting for. These lips were worth fighting for.

I finally do pull away from her, and her eyes look at me with so much innocence. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“How are you doing, gorgeous?”

“I’m okay.” Her eyes almost instantly dart to the ground. They well with tears. “It’s just a lot. Nothing you haven’t been through, though.”

I wipe the single tear from her face and then kiss her once more. “It’s so good to see you.” I let her go and open her door for her, stepping aside so she can get in.

“It’s so good to see you,” she says without moving.”Hey, Xander?”

“Yes, Paige?”

“I’m sorry… for everything.”

“Hey, Paige?”

“Yes, Xander?”

“Get in the damn car.”

I smirk at her, then make my way around to the passenger side and climb in. She follows soon after.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” I say, so ridiculously ready to rid my life of this place.

The disappearing barbed wire and chain link in the rearview fills me with so much exhilaration I feel I just might burst.

We’re an hour from Truman Valley, on our way to meet up with Brandi and Irish. I haven’t seen him in so long it’s going to be unreal. I was hoping to see Jack too, but I guess he’s just not the same anymore. Paige thinks it’s best I don’t, that he may still see me as associated with his wife’s murder somehow. I don’t blame him. With the tragedy this family has seen, I don’t know how any of them are getting by. I really admire Paige for her resilience. She’s still the same Paige. Her soul’s a little weathered, but it’s still her.

We pass a sign for Twain Lake, and I can see the tears rolling down her cheek from the reflection in the window. I don’t know why I decide to tell her. Maybe to take her mind away from the pain of all the memories she’s made here, and all the ones she’ll never make. Maybe to get it off my chest. I don’t know, but it feels right.

Honesty feels right.

“Hey, Paige?” She wipes her eyes and looks over at me, sniffling.

“I believe in honesty. With friends, in relationships, whatever.”

“Okay?”

“When you visited me in prison…I think it was maybe the second time. You asked about Cody, right? About him disappearing?”

“Yeah.”

I nod my head in the direction of the lake. She looks out, scans, and then looks back, her forehead crinkled in confusion.

“What?”

“You were wondering where Cody was.”

“So where is he? At Twain Lake?”

“No…” I don’t want to say it—I really don’t—but I have to. “He’s
in
Twain Lake.”

The car swerves and she looks at me with her mouth wide open. I turn away. I just can’t look at her right now. The silence is unbearable.

“Xander, are you shitting me right now?”

I clear my throat. “Unfortunately, no. And I didn’t want to tell you because I was too chicken shit. I got the feeling you already knew, though, and that the questions would come.”

“A part of me did know.” Her hands tremble against the steering wheel. “But I didn’t want to believe you could do something like that.
Why
would you do something like that?”

“It was an accident.” I stop and take a deep breath. “I didn’t mind killing him. I really didn’t. He deserved it. But I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“So, what did happen?”

I race to his trailer, my hands white-knuckled on the steering wheel. I only have a little bit of time before the sheriff and his deputies make their way there as well. Then again, with the rage I’m feeling right now, I’d likely beat the ever-loving shit out of him right in front of them.

Thankfully, he lives only a few miles away and the trailer park is quiet and still. I creep to his trailer, hoping to God none of these people spot my truck. It’s not hard to identify this old thing in such a small town, but I know full well how trailer parks work. They keep quiet about things. They mind their business.

As I pull up to his trailer, I can’t believe my eyes… and my luck. His truck door is wide open, dome light on, and he’s passed out drunk in the driver’s seat. Country music still plays low on his radio.

I cut my lights and pull up alongside him. I slink from the truck with a stun gun, a roll of duct tape and some rope from my glove compartment. As I approach him, he still doesn’t move a muscle. An empty fifth is by his side, and the rank smell of piss fills the cab.

In one quick motion, I pull him out and throw him to the ground, face first, between our trucks. He grunts and mumbles something unintelligible.

Before he can say anything else, I duct tape his mouth shut, going around his head with the roll a few times for good measure. He starts to wake so I hit him with the stun gun. His body goes rigid and then limp. I take his arms and legs and hog-tie them together.

As quickly and quietly as I can, I lift him and throw him on the bench seat. I turn his truck off and close the keys inside and then drive slowly back out of the trailer park—to where, I have no clue.

Only a few miles down the freeway, I find the perfect exit. There’s nothing here. Not a soul to be found. There are endless miles of thick, thriving woods. The only sounds are the echo of crickets and the occasional croaking of a frog.

My high beams pour light on his hog-tied body. I can see him, but he can’t see me. He’s crying and struggling to see through the light. I grab him by his hair and pull his head up. He cringes with every movement I make.

I don’t know how many times I hit him, I just know each one feels better than the last. His face is humorously contorted with welts and gashes, and his nose points sharply to the left. I keep going. I think about Paige, half naked, beaten and dirty as she ran through the front door. I think about him trying to rape the woman I love. It fuels me.

I am a man on fire.

I don’t know when he stopped breathing…but he did. The duct tape and mess of crushed bone and cartilage blocked both of his airways., It’s not hard to see how it happened after the fact, but at the time I didn’t fucking care. I wanted to teach him a lesson.

Then again, maybe a small part of me wanted him dead all along.

I don’t panic. I can’t panic. I can only act. And that’s what I do.

I make him disappear
.

She still hasn’t said much since I told her. With the uncomfortable silence fucking with my head, I’m thankful to see her pull into a long drive leading to a beautiful house on a plot of land just outside of Truman Valley.

“Damn, is this the place?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

As the Chevelle comes to a stop, Irish’s big teddy bear ass comes out of the house. He’s holding hands with Brandi, who looks as if she hasn’t aged a day, and the sight of him nearly brings tears to my eyes. The feeling of being free is still so incredibly surreal. It’s not like anything I’ve ever felt before.

Rowdy comes sprinting out after them, his tongue flopping freely from his mouth and his eyes bugging with excitement. I get out of the car and he jumps up on me, his paws meeting my chest and I hold him there. He slathers my face with dog kisses and the tears really do start to fall.

I let Rowdy down when Irish approaches, a broad smile on his face. As Rowdy makes his way to Paige, sniffing up a storm, Irish grabs me up in a big hug. He holds the hug for a moment and I feel like a little kid in his bear-like arms. In most circumstances I’m not about any male-to-male contact, but this right here…this is the real thing.

“Dude, so fucking good to see you.” Irish says as he finally lets me go.

“Good to see you too, my man.” I hug Brandi as well and squeeze her just a little tighter than I ever would have before.

“How’s it feel to be free?” she asks.

“Like a fucking dream.” I laugh, taking it all in for a moment. “What do I gotta do to get a beer around here?”

Irish laughs, throwing an arm around me.

“We’re gonna get you good and fucked up tonight, my friend.”

“I like the sound of that.”

It was one of the best nights of my life. I kept it pretty chill on the alcohol, keeping a good buzz going most of the night, but after a blunt or two of Cali’s finest, I was flying. Freedom tasted really fucking good.

This feeling right here though, waking up next to the love of my life, being able to cradle her in my arms until she wakes… it’s everything. It’s still going to take some getting used to being out of that place, but it helps having her next to me.

Paige is still passed out cold on my chest, but I don’t mind at all. She did her own bit of partying last night, and it was a nice reminder of just how fun this woman can be. I pull her in tighter. Her beautiful amber curls splay out in every direction, and even though some of her hair is in my face, it doesn’t bother me one bit. The smell of it is distinctly her, and breathing it in is instantly comforting.

She wakes up and smiles as her sleepy eyes adjust to the light. When they finally do she takes me in and then kisses my chest. I love the feeling of her lips against my skin.

“Good morning, baby.” One of her eyes remains closed as she says it.

I could really get used to waking up like this.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” I kiss her forehead and then pull back. I try and read her face, wondering if I should say what’s been on my mind all night or not.

“Paige?”

“Yeah?” She leans up on an elbow and traces my arm with her fingertips. “What’s up, babe?”

“Whatever happened, whatever needed to be done, just know it was for you. It was all for you. I couldn’t let him get away with it.”

She smiles, placing her hand against my cheek and rubbing softly.

“I know, baby. I know.”

Irish has done well for himself. Retired from the Army and racing full time, he’s made a shit-ton of money while I’ve been away. As I scan the massive kitchen, I can’t help but shake my head. Three years I ate breakfast chow in my cell. Now this.

“Not too bad, huh?” Irish asks, shoving a piece of toast in his mouth.

“This place is amazing, man.” Rowdy’s head is lying on my lap, and though he’s no doubt waiting for me to drop a piece of bacon, he also hasn’t left my side since I’ve been back.

Irish shoots a glance at Paige, who’s picking at her own breakfast right next to me. I get the feeling there’s something they have to say to me. Brandi is still comatose in the bedroom upstairs.

He takes a swig of his coffee and clears his throat. “So, you know you need to go see your sister, right, bro?”