Irresistible Forces (19 page)

“What? Are
you kidding? This is a joke, right?”

“This is no joke. The guy who was leaving, the number-one guy, isn't. He changed his mind. And they can't force him to leave. They're probably the only trauma unit in the world that's overstaffed. They can't make room for me.” He sounded devastated, which was exactly how she was feeling. “I called all the other hospitals I saw, and all they have is a spot as low man on the ER team at SF General.” And Meredith couldn't bear the thought of his doing something like that. The job in the East Bay had been so perfect. “They were very apologetic about it, when they called from the East Bay. But they can't ask the guy to leave, and besides, they don't want to. They love him.”

“Oh shit, Steve. What are we going to do now?”

“I don't know. Wait, I guess. There's nothing else we can do. Something will come along eventually. And in the meantime, I can stay here. Lucas was thrilled when I told him.”

“He would be. I don't know what to say, sweetheart. I never thought that would happen.” If she had thought it wasn't a sure thing, she wouldn't have taken the job with Callan. Now they were stuck with a miserable situation.

She told Cal about it late that afternoon, when they finished a meeting.

“That's terrible. Why don't you let me make some calls and see what I can do?” But his conclusion the next day was what Steve's had been. There seemed to be no opening for him anywhere at the moment, unless he wanted to take a far more junior position. And Cal told Meredith he didn't think Steve should do that. “He's just going to have to be patient.”

But it had been so difficult for them for the past seven weeks. And now with no hope in sight, it was going to add further stress to their situation. And commuting bicoastally hadn't been the easy deal they had both thought it would be. Most of the time, one or the other of them couldn't make it. Their lives were just too busy where they were working.

Meredith was depressed about it for the rest of the week, and Steve sounded even worse whenever she spoke to him, and as usual, he was working that weekend. And she wasn't due back in New York until Christmas. She was planning to take the week off between Christmas and New Year, and then they were supposed to return to California together for good. But everything was up in the air now. All she could do was hope that a job would open up in a trauma unit somewhere quickly.

December was a grueling month for both of them, as it turned out. At work, Cal was trying to tie up a lot of loose ends before the end of the year that kept them working day and night. And with the ice and snow in New York, there was a constant stream of accidents, hit-and-runs, broken hips, and head-on collisions. Only the gang wars seemed to have diminished in the bad weather. And the week before Christmas, they were hit by yet another bolt of lightning. Harvey Lucas had a bad fall on the ice at his home in Connecticut, and broke a hip and his pelvis. He was going to be out of commission for eight weeks, and even if Steve had had a job to come to, he couldn't have left the trauma unit where he was working. Steve felt he owed it to Harvey to stick around until he had recovered. The only break for Steve was that they had hired a
locum tenens
trauma doc to work with him for the duration. Her name was Anna Gonzalez, and she made her career doing fill-ins, and Steve said she was smart, had trained at Yale, and she was the only thing making life bearable for him at the moment. She was acting as his assistant, while he took Harvey Lucas's place and ran the unit.

So all Meredith and Steve knew now was that, whatever happened, they had another ten weeks of separation ahead of them. And Meredith had already been alone in California for more than two months now.

“What on earth did we do to deserve this?” Meredith asked, near tears, when they talked about it.

“At least you'll be home in a week. I'm going to see if I can take some time off when you're here, Anna says she'll cover for me.”

“Thank her for me,” Meredith said, feeling as miserable as she had since she'd heard the news about Harvey Lucas.

For the next few days, Meredith did everything she had to do, and got ready to go home for Christmas. She was taking all her presents for Steve with her. And as she packed a few days before she was to leave, a blizzard hit the entire eastern seaboard. It only made things harder for Steve, there were more accidents and more broken bones, he never seemed to have a free moment.

Meredith was planning to fly east on Christmas Eve, and the night before, she had dinner at Callan's with him and his children. There was a pretty Christmas tree in the living room, and in contrast to New York, they were having unseasonably warm weather, which seemed ironic.

“Maybe you won't be able to leave tomorrow,” Andy said ominously as they talked about the bad weather in the East, and the volley of snowstorms that had hit them. There were more than two feet of snow covering New York now, and Steve had said the city was at a standstill.

“I hope not, Andy,” Meredith said fervently. She had just given them all their presents. A dress for Mary Ellen that had elicited squeals from her, another for Julie with a funny pair of shoes that she said were the “coolest,” and a robot for Andy that could play ball with him, and pour a can of soda. “Steve is going to be really upset if I don't get home tomorrow.” That was a major understatement.

“You could have Christmas with us,” Julie volunteered. They were spending Christmas with Cal, and their mother was coming in the day after to take them skiing in Sun Valley. She hadn't seen them since the previous summer, and they were only halfheartedly looking forward to it. Understandably, they seemed to have a lot of reservations about her.

“I'd love to have Christmas with you,” Meredith said, “but I need to go home to my husband.”

Cal was going to Mexico with friends, and she knew he had chartered a yacht there, while the kids were away with their mother. All she wanted was a week in New York with Steve. Their life at the moment seemed to be filled with nothing but problems and disappointments, and for the moment worrying about it was overshadowing her love for her job. Knowing they would be apart for several more months, she was beginning to worry about her marriage. And Cal could see she was troubled.

After dinner, he chatted with her and talked to her about it. “You two just have to tough it out till he finds something out here, Merrie. He'll find something. He's too good not to.” He was worried that she would feel pressured into taking a leave of absence, or worse, going back to her husband.

“This is a lot harder than we thought,” she admitted to him, looking depressed about it.

“Men go through it all the time. They take jobs in other cities, and sometimes it takes a year for their families to join them. Houses have to be sold, kids have to finish the school year where they are. People get through it. And you and Steve will too. Just try to be patient.”

“I am … we are … but I feel as though I deserted him when I came out here. And I think that's what he feels. I'm not sure he understands it.”

“Sure he does. He's a big boy. He knows this job was important to you. And in the end, it'll be good for him too. I'm sure he's willing to make some sacrifices for your career, Merrie. He loves you. Women do this kind of thing for their husbands all the time. They give up jobs they like, and friends, and homes, to follow their husbands when they're transferred. He just has to be patient. You did the right thing when you came out here, Meredith, and I'm sure Steve knows that.” She wasn't sure what Steve knew anymore, except that he hated the way they were living. He was trapped in New York by force of circumstances, and he seemed to think she was having a grand old time in California. She loved her job certainly, but she missed not being with her husband.

“I hope he finds a job out here soon, a good one, not a big step down for him like the one at SF General,” she said sadly, as Cal put a sympathetic arm around her shoulders. He wanted to do something to cheer her, and the only thing he could think of was to give her her Christmas present.

“I have a little something for you, Meredith. It's just a thought.” He handed her a small box he'd had in his pocket, as he said it. And she had something for him too. She had left the orange box in the hall with her handbag, and she went to get it before she opened his present. As she handed it to him, he recognized the box and ribbon instantly. It was from Hermes, she had bought the gift for him the last time she'd been in the city.

They sat down side by side, and began opening their gifts. And as she opened hers, there was a sharp intake of breath. He had bought her a beautiful gold watch at Bulgari, it was exactly what she would have bought herself, if she had dared to spend that much money on a wristwatch.

“My God, Cal, you shouldn't have … it's so beautiful,” she put it on and it fit perfectly, and he was pleased that she seemed to like it.

And then he opened the box she had given him, and was equally impressed. She had bought him a very handsome leather Hermes briefcase. The leather was rich and smooth, and it was every bit as elegant as he was. He loved the gift, and he gave her a big hug and kiss the minute he saw it.

“You spoiled me, Merrie! I love it!” He beamed as he looked at it, and she was excited about her watch, as she hugged him back.

“Look who's talking! I've never had a watch like this, Cal.”

“Well, you should have.” It was something she could wear every day with her well-tailored suits, and the pantsuits she wore to the office. It was businesslike and at the same time it looked chic and expensive.

They sat and talked for a while afterward, and at eleven o'clock, he flipped on the news, so they could see what the weather was doing in the East. There had been stories about people snowed in and stranded all week, and all the major cites and airports had been shut down one by one as the storms continued. And things had not improved while they were eating dinner. Another major front had moved in, and a fresh load of snow was being dumped on New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Massachusetts.

“You know, I hate to say it, but I'm not sure you're going to get out tomorrow, Meredith. You'd better check your flight before you leave for the airport.”

“Steve will kill me if I don't make it home for Christmas,” she said glumly. It would be the topper on an already terrible situation. She really missed him.

“It won't be your fault if you don't, he's got to understand that.”

He drove her home after that, and she thanked him for the gift again. She was still wearing it, and she smiled as she pulled up her sleeve and admired it again. “Thank you, Cal. I really love it.”

“I'm glad,” he said with a look of pleasure. “I love my briefcase.”

“We're going to be the two fanciest people in the office,” she said, smiling.

“What are you going to do if you can't go home?” he asked, worried about her.

“Cry,” she said, and then laughed ruefully. “What can I do? If they close the airport, or cancel my flight, there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.”

“If that happens, I want you to spend Christmas Eve with us. I don't want you sitting alone here.”

“Thank you, Cal, I appreciate it. But hopefully, I'll get out tomorrow.”

“I hope so too. But just in case … I don't want you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself all alone in your apartment.”

“I won't. I promise. I'll feel sorry for myself at your house.” They both laughed, but she was desperate to get out, and he knew it.

But no matter how desperate she was, the next day the snow was still falling in New York, and by nine
A.M.
on the West Coast, noon in New York, they had closed Kennedy Airport. She managed to reach Steve at the hospital, and he was disappointed, but philosophical about it.

“You'll get here sooner or later, sweetheart. We'll just have to postpone Christmas till you get here. What are you going to do tonight?”

“I don't know. The Dows said I could come over if this happened.” She didn't have any other friends there. She hadn't had time to meet other people yet, she had been too busy at the office.

“At least you'll be with kids,” he said, but she could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn't overly pleased about it. But he could hardly expect her to spend Christmas Eve alone, and he didn't say anything to her. He was going to stay on at the hospital. He didn't want to be alone either. And most of the staff was working.

Cal had heard on the news that the airports were closed, and before he left at noon, he reminded her of his invitation. He was going to do some errands with the kids that afternoon, and he told her to come over around four o'clock, they'd be home then.

She arrived with a huge can of caramel popcorn for them, and candied apples, and the kids dove into them with glee. They sat around the tree in Cal's living room, and he put on a CD of Christmas music. She shared an early dinner with them that night, and afterward the kids went to their rooms, Cal lit a fire for them, and the two of them sat talking about Christmas and their youth and childhoods. He told her his mother had died when he was a child, and how hard the holidays had been for him after that, and she began to understand how loath he was to make a commitment to women. As far as he was concerned, although he didn't express it that way, women always deserted him, one way or another.

“Did your father ever remarry?” she asked with interest.

“Not until I was grown up. My stepmother and he died a long time ago. I have no family other than my children.”

“I only have Steve. He has no family either. I think that's why he wants kids so much, to form a family of his own. I guess I'm unnatural because I don't want them.”

“Not necessarily. Maybe you're right for you. But that's why I wanted children of my own. I wanted the perfect family, and I have it now … I just picked the wrong wife,” he said, helping himself to a handful of her popcorn.

“Your kids are great,” she said, eating some too, and he looked at her from where he sat, the room was warm, and the fire was crackling softly.

“You're pretty great, too,” he said softly. He hadn't expected to spend Christmas with her. It was nice to have an adult to talk to, and she was grateful not to be alone in her apartment. She didn't know what to make of the compliment, and she just looked at him, and then stared into the fire, thinking of Steve. She really missed him. “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Merrie …I'm sorry.”