Authors: Marien Dore
He violently shook his head, shocking me at the movement. “I won’t let you go back to your house, not with your dad. He will kill you if he sees we are together,” he said, repeating my thoughts.
“That’s why we are going to have to keep our distance.” My voice broke as my heart was too. That seemed to be a recurring thing. “I love you so much. I don’t want us to be apart. I want to be with you more than anything, but being apart will be for the best, just for now.”
He nodded. “I know. I don’t want to let you go right now. I don’t want you out of my reach. I understand keeping our distance and agree with that. But Janice, this is more than our relationship. This is your life.”
I took a shaky breath. I shouldn’t tell him, I shouldn’t tell him my dad was coming to get me today. He was weak, tired, and in need of rest. But I needed him to not freak out when I go home, and he doesn’t.
“You trust me, right?”
“Absolutely,” he nodded.
“Then please understand what I’m about to say. The hospital called my house and left a message, saying I was here. My dad is going to be here at some point today. He will be taking me home, and you are going to stay here. You have to stay to get better.” I cupped his prickly cheeks. “I’m going home, and I will be okay. It’s not new to me. My dad probably still needs the money to get Alex out so he will need me for that. I will be fine. When you get back, then we will talk about making a plan.”
“How will we talk if your dad and everyone else is watching us?”
“We will find a way. Our phone at our house doesn’t have caller ID. Call the phone tonight at around midnight if you can. I will answer, and you will know I am okay. Call every night at that time and we can talk. You will know I am fine. But you need to call me; I can’t call you at the hospital because they will be able to see who is calling. Call me every night if you can until you are home.”
His face in my hands, I saw him nod, surprisingly not fighting me. “We are going back to our normal lives. You with Jill and me returning home with my dad,” I said, flinching.
“But I’m going to break up with her,” he said, stunned with all of this. “I’m not going home with Jill.”
I felt a tear fall but kept it together. “Yeah, you have to. Don’t break up with her yet. You can’t. Do you know how that will look? Jill will make a big deal, guess I’m the reason, and blab about it. The second your back and you break up, that’s a big warning signal.”
His mouth dropped open. “We can’t do that? I want you,” he said, surprisingly appearing very clear to me as if the drugs weren’t affecting him. His eyes hurt in mine, making me feel like a terrible person.
“I want you,” I told him back. “I am yours, baby. You are mine. We just need to do this for now. Do you at least understand where I’m coming from? Please, please know I don’t want this. We just need to do this.”
He nodded. “I do. How long do I need to stay with Jill do you figure?”
“I don’t know. Stay with her and when you get out, we will find a way to meet somehow. You call me every night at midnight, though, and we can talk. My dad is passed out drunk every night by nine most nights. We will be okay.”
He gasped, trying to get this through his head. “I knew it would be hard if we ever came back. I didn’t think this hard,” he whispered.
I didn’t have anything to say to that. I just nodded, leaning in and kissing him softly yet deeply. I was happy he was okay and alive, here to kiss me. It hurt, knowing he had to stay with Jill a little longer and that I wouldn’t be able to see him, but we had to be strong. We have been through so much so far. We couldn’t give up now.
He kissed me back softly with the energy he had, which didn’t seem to be much. When we lightly broke away, he rested his forehead on mine, sighing a soft breath against my face. “I trust you,” he said quietly. “I want you, I love you, I need you. This better work.”
I kissed him lightly again before sitting up, groaning as I stood. I grabbed a pen that was on the small table under the large window and wrote on the paper Jeff gave me. I wrote my number on the back, folding it up and handing it to him. “You don’t need to call every night if you can’t. Just know, I will get the phone if it rings at night.”
“And if you don’t answer tonight?”
“I will,” I said, knowing for sure.
He took the paper and looked it over as if trying to memorize it before he tucked it into his pillow case. As he did, he looked up to me as I was standing at the side of his bed, wanting just to be back on the island with this man. Maybe even still sleeping in our shelter. But now, I knew that the shelter was gone, burned and destroyed along with everything we had there. Sighing, I sat down in a chair next to his bed.
“I’m sorry,” he said, quietly, looking sad.
“For what?”
“Not doing anything. Ever. You are the strong one. When I got cut, when I needed you for support, and when I was bitten. You risked so much for me. To save my life and to do whatever it took to save me. You are always there for me, and I’m sorry I didn’t have much of a chance to be there for you. And now, look who is lying in bed while the woman I love will have to try avoiding getting beaten.”
“Stop,” I said, looking to him. ”You—”
I was cut off by the door opening. I looked up, seeing the door slowly open. A beautiful woman reached my sight. She had soft blond hair that hung down past her shoulders. Her pretty blue eyes came in with her through the door.
I have seen her before. She was in the pictures on the camera and in a frame on Casey’s desk at school. She was beautiful, and I hated her for what she did to Casey. Hated her for the fact that he couldn’t break up with her yet.
Hated Jill Andrews as she stepped into the room and ruined the rest of my time with him.
I stared, feeling my mouth drop open. Jill. Casey’s fiancée and soon to be wife now that we were back. A part of me wanted to die at that moment. I wanted her gone. Out of his life now that he was himself again. What if she tried to taint that? What if he started acting like how he use to because he would have to be with her for a while?
She walked through the door slowly, cautious steps as if not sure she was in the right room. With her echoing heels clicking on the tile floor, she continued in. When she came to the light more and into Casey’s vision, his heart monitor went erratic. Not like it did with me when I came in. He was nervous, immediately on edge from that noise. I knew that his body was probably tense as we both stared at her, shocked.
My eyes never left her. I could feel my cheeks flush red, ready to burst from everything. She was beautiful, more than me (though I believed Casey when he said I was the most beautiful woman to him). That wasn’t what bothered me, though. What bothered me was that everything Casey said about her came back, about how she made him change for her.
She froze at seeing him, eyes wide and mouth dropping open. She blinked a few times, trying to process what was before her, which was the man I love. The man she loved too. A soft hand flew up to cover her mouth in a gasp. Unlike me, that gasp was out of disgust and not relief. Her eyes showed that she was disgusted with what she was looking it. It made me want to punch her. I stared at what she was taking in. How pale he was, the lines under his eyes making him seem older, and how he was much skinnier. Seeing his messy hair and finally, seeing his arm gone too.
“Casey,” she said, staring. A second later, her heels started that annoying rhythm on the tile, shuffling over to the side of his bed, not even acknowledging me. Her back to me, she bent closer to him. “Oh baby, you look terrible! Are you okay?” She lightly caressed his face, brushing his hair back as she sat on the side of his bed. He looked nervous, pissed, sad, and uncomfortable.
“I’m fine.”
She raised a brow, giving him an ‘are you kidding me’ look. She pointed to where his arm was gone. “Does that look fine? Don’t worry honey, we can sue the airline and—”
“Jill, I’m fine,” he sighed. “I was really lucky. I was nearly dead.”
“Have you seen yourself?” She groaned, shaking her head, putting on a fake smile to her aggravated face. “We’ll deal with that later. I’m just glad you are okay.”
I wanted to scoff. If all she cared about was him being okay, then why did she worry about how he looked? That was the first concern she had! I saw she cared for him but, God, after thinking he was dead, I expected more! I expected more than the first thing she said being that he looked terrible. Glancing to Casey, he smiled to her, but it was forced.
She leaned forward and down, cupping his cheeks. She pressed her lips to his. There was so much pain at that sight, but I couldn’t look away. My gut jerked and this was the one time I wouldn’t have really minded to see my father take me home. I was thinking about just getting up and leaving, knowing I could do nothing about this, and neither could he until we came up with a plan. But even though Jill was here, kissing him, and I wanted to leave… I wouldn’t know when I would see Casey next. It hurt after only having a few minutes with him earlier.
The moment she kissed him, I saw his body tense and slightly jerk. Then, he froze that reaction, his eyebrows lifting in surprise. He closed his eyes, knowing he must play along. It hurt because I know he was hurting with guilt as of now. A lot of it especially now that he was more than aware that I was right here, and all he wanted to do was tell her it was over.
I heard her moan lightly as she kissed him. I saw his lips were nearly frozen in place, not really responding. We both knew he needed to try at least, stay with her for a while until the buzz of everything dies down.
As her lips moved, they moved his a little as well. It was hard to watch and seemed to last forever. I knew that he at least wasn’t happy about this either. A few seconds later, as she tried kissing him deeper, I saw him break the kiss by moving his head to the side and away from her lips. She looked a little startled at that and upset he would dare to do such a thing to a princess like her. Casey pursed his lips for a moment, meeting my eyes with his in a short glance. In that glance, I saw that he was really sorry I had to see that and that it even had to happen in the first place. He quickly turned his lips up when he turned to look at her. He quickly leaned forward, pecking her on the lips fast so she saw he gave some form of affection to her. Quickly, he laid back, smiling up at her.
She smiled, eyes roaming over him, not liking how he looked, but she was convinced that would change later on so she didn’t bring it up. Sighing, she sat at the edge of the bed, still not even looking at me. Did she even know I was here? Her eyes were on Casey that whole time, which upset me because I knew, she didn’t like how he appeared. But it would also piss me off if she was checking him out so I would settle on disgust from her for now.
“Oh, I missed you so much. I love you.”
He smiled at her. “Yeah, I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” he said, avoiding both things she said. Before she could say anything else, he looked at me before looking back to Jill. “Jill,” he gestured to me, showing her I was here. “This is Janice. Janice, this is Jill.”
She turned to me, smiling a bright smile though confused. She acted pleasant enough though as she reached her arm out, shaking my hand. Though it was obviously fake, she tried hiding it and appearing polite. But after really seeing me, her smile transformed into a different form of one.
“Well, Hello Janice,” she said, voice changing as if she were talking to a five-year-old, her smile matching that tone of voice. Too bright and overly nice, overdone as if I were a little kid. “You’re looking very pretty today.”
I took a deep breath, smiling still as I held it there. “Um, thanks,” I said quietly, feeling embarrassed at how she was talking to me. It was clearly pointing out how I was a kid to her. As Jill spoke to me, I glanced to Casey and saw he noticed how she was speaking to me. He didn’t like it. I saw that there was actually some color in his face, and it was from how mad he was getting, a red tint along with a scowl forming on his mouth.
“How do you know Casey?” she asked.
That’s why she was being nice - or rather at least trying. She didn’t know who I was yet. Well, we will see her reaction to seeing I was his student, the one that was stranded with him.
“I’m his student,” I said.
She raised her eyebrows, smiling and nodding. “Aw, that’s so nice! You were willing to travel up to New York just to visit your teacher after you saw he was alive. That’s so sweet!”
Jesus. I knew Casey liked smart girls, and I guess he considered me one. But so far, she didn’t seem too bright. If he fell for her before, she must have been so different because I knew Casey would never go for how she is now. Before, he just couldn’t see how much she had changed. Now that he did… he looked upset and disgusted.
“Jill,” Casey said, a note of impatience in his voice. “This is the girl that was stranded on the island with me.”
I got the reaction I was waiting for! Her eyes narrowed slightly, teeth clenching through her closed mouth. The smile remained but was slightly colder. She turned tense.
She spoke and unclenched her teeth as she looked at Casey. “This is the girl that everyone is talking about?”
Everyone was talking about me? I knew this was huge news and that the reporters and everyone were anxious for answers. But me? She was talking about me specifically. I didn’t like that mainly because I’m sure the rumors expanded and will keep going. I wanted to know what people were saying and thinking about me, what they thought happened, and was happening.
“Everyone is talking about me?”
She turned back to me. “Yeah, they are. Can you guess what about?” She looked amused but also under that… suspicion like we figured.
I knew what she was talking about. She heard me and Casey were lovers, are lovers, were together or something along those lines. Sighing, I slightly chuckled. “From all the interviewers and questions, there are a lot of things they are thinking, mainly about me.”
She laughed. “They were saying that you two were lovers that got together on an island.”
“Yeah, they kept asking me if that was true, asking about silly things like whether we tried killing ourselves or something. I swear, some people just really piss me off when they accuse me of something they have no evidence of.” I was looking at one of those people right now.
She still looked amused, like she was going to laugh. I wanted to know what was so funny. “What did you say to that?”
“No, obviously. He’s my teacher. Casey is with you, getting married to you. He told me how much he missed you,” I said, wanting to smirk because it wasn’t much.
She laughed. “Yeah. He’s so sweet.”
He looked confused as well as to what was so funny to her. “Jill, why are you laughing?”
She scoffed. “Those people would even think for a second that someone like her,” she said, emphasizing ‘her’ and pointing to me as her eyes were on Casey, “could be with someone like you.”
It seemed as if at first, she was at least trying to be nice. Now, that effort was fading and those words… hurt. I knew she meant it, and it hurt. I tried hard to brush her words off, knowing it didn’t matter. Casey knew too. He just wasn’t ready to drop it yet.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked.
She scoffed. “Uh, did you look at her? Honestly, I was worried at first about it being true. But now, seeing that she is the one everyone thinks could be your lover, it’s just funny. She is so young and… Yeah,” she trailed off.
I knew that it went deeper than that. What she really meant was that it was ridiculous to think that Casey and I were lovers for the fact that she was prettier than me and older, more mature. She saw how weak, young, and ugly I was and knew that her precious Casey wouldn’t dare lift a finger for a girl like me. She wasn’t worried, but… she still looked suspicious, as if she just said that to hurt me and that she thought it could be a possibility.
Casey looked ready to dump her then and there for that. His eyes wide, mouth open, he couldn’t believe she said that, would say something so insulting. Something so untrue to him. Before he could say anything, though, I laughed and nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right. He is way too old for someone like me,” I said, showing her that I didn’t take that as an insult as if I didn’t hear the bigger meaning she wanted me to. Plus I was showing Casey that I was okay and for him to remain calm about this. “I’m just here to check on him. After all, I did save his life,” I said, smiling and not able to help myself.
“Well, I’m glad you did,” she said smiling, placing her hand on his leg she was sitting next to, rubbing it up and down. “Otherwise, I would be attending a funeral and not a wedding in a few months.”
I didn’t know she was planning a date to get married. I just knew they were engaged. When I looked to Casey and heard the heart monitor step out of rhythm, I knew he was just hearing about this for the first time.
“Aw, look at that,” she said, turning to look at the heart monitor. “Honey, you’re excited.”
“Jill,” he sighed. “I just got back. Just… went through a lot. Can we not plan for anything so soon? There is still a lot going on in my head that I’m trying to process. I don’t think we should rush it. Let’s just have a long engagement.”
I felt so bad for him, mostly because I knew how he was feeling as of now. He was so sorry I was here to watch this. Sorry that she was still a part of his life and that he couldn’t do anything about it yet. He was upset at how she was acting. Guilty because he must think I was hurting seeing this. And though I was, it wasn’t his fault.
I watched as Jill whined lightly, somewhat playfully, pouting as her hand on his leg slid up more, more… Oh god, I couldn’t watch this! Didn’t want to! It was as if I became paralyzed and hadn’t realized it, eyes following her hand. A quick glance to Casey, I saw his fake smile completely drop as he watched her, so shocked at what she was doing, mainly because she knew I was right here! Her hand slithered up his thigh, red nails brushing his leg through the sheet of the bed. She stopped at the top of his thigh, moving her hand to his inner thigh then out, rubbing back and forth.
I knew he wanted to look to me, but he didn’t, couldn’t as she leaned forward, nailing his eyes to hers. I noticed as she leaned forward, she placed her other hand on the bed beside his thigh, making her shirt hang lower. It was sickening and terrible. I was really thinking about just getting up and leaving
She lightly whined, her hand still slowly moving back and forth at the top of his thigh. “Oh, but… I’m ready to be Mrs. Jill Rush. I love how that sounds.”
Oh god! I wanted to leave! I wanted to believe this was a dream because it seemed like one. It wasn’t because I wouldn’t, couldn’t, dream up this. He chuckled uncomfortably, grabbing her hand on his thigh with his hand, needing it off him. To make it so she wouldn’t throw what I’m sure would be a fit, he kissed her hand, twining their fingers together. It was much better than where her hand was before.