Island Rush (76 page)

Slowly, I painfully shifted a little, tilting my head up and looking behind me. Alex’s face was an inch from mine, his head resting against the headboard, his body also slumped back. There was blood running down his face from where the bullet penetrated the skin of his forehead. My brother was dead…

My brother and my father were dead.  Both dead.  I couldn’t register it…

“Janice?” I heard Casey say.  I slowly looked back to him, and he looked weak himself, and I saw that the effects of his weak body were becoming more evident with him again. Worry was written all over his face as well as sadness and horror. There was much more but my sight shifted, and I couldn’t really see him.  Now that Alex wasn’t supporting my back, I felt myself falling onto my side. My head hitting the wet and bloody covers, I grunted, and my breath slowed a little. I was slipping.

“Janice,” he whispered in a panic-filled broken voice. I felt his arms go around me slowly, very lightly. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t really react or move. My eyes were even hard to keep open and I couldn’t. “Oh God! Oh fuck, baby!” he cried as I felt him move me gently onto my back. His hands lightly grazed over my body.

I didn’t want him here. Not because him touching me after what happened bothered me. In fact, I wanted his arms around me, but I didn’t deserve those warm and safe arms. I deserved him gone, and that was what I knew I needed to want.  I felt him get on the bed next to me, hands shaking as they moved over me as lightly as they could. “Why? Why to you?”

I managed to somehow open my eyes. Above me, Casey’s eyes burned with tears and a broken face.  It hurt me even more. I felt him gently brush my hair back, eyes taking me in.  His arms wrapped under me, moving under my back and somewhat lifting me.  He leaned forward, face above mine. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry, Janice. Oh,” he cried. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I—” He broke, moving his face away from mine and off to the side, out of my sight.  I heard him cry harder.  He moved his hand to cover his face before he recovered, looking back to me. I felt my eyes start to close again, and when I did, I felt both of his arms around me again.  He was holding me up to him as softly and lightly as he could. “Stay with me! I can’t lose you. Oh! I’m so sorry, baby. Please, oh please, please… Please!”

I wanted to open my eyes but wasn’t able to. I couldn’t. I didn’t have the energy or the will to do it.  His eyes didn’t need to look into my ashamed ones.  He didn’t need to… I couldn’t… and I was done.

“Why did you come?” I breathed.  It was like my body, the insane pain that crawled over me, could only stand consciousness for so long.  I was going back under and could feel it.  Not before I hear his answer, though.

“Honey, stay with me. Yeah, baby. I’m here. I came because I love you! I… I love you! I can’t. I ca— I can’t live without you, and I need you! I need you to be okay.”

I felt myself start to black out again to the point where I couldn’t hear anything. All I wanted was to disappear. I just wish Casey wasn’t upset. I hated that. He shouldn’t be upset over me. As I started to fade, my thoughts and everything else did too.

Chapter 78

It’s been two months. Yes, two months. And somehow, I’m not insane. Well, says my doctor. Every day was hell. All I had was time to think while lying in this hospital bed.  Two months of horrible cafeteria food, two months of reassuring nurses saying I would be okay.  Two months of doctors talking to me about what happened, two months of methods and treatment to help, and two months of not much progress. Two months of thinking.

Two months without seeing Casey.

I admit that was my choice. I didn’t and couldn’t handle seeing him. A part of me would want to kiss him and hug him. The other part of me, the one responding from what my brother did to me, wanted to yell and scream at him, tell him he was an idiot for coming after me. I loved him so much, and that’s why I can’t have him. He doesn’t deserve this.  He doesn’t deserve me dragging him down. I even began to think that I deserved to suffer.

It sounds melodramatic, but I felt like I truly needed to be punished… punished for the time I took away from people who care. Like my doctors and Casey, who tried calling me but I wouldn’t answer. I knew if he could, he would have tried to see me but he went back to the hospital in New York. I was in the one by my school in town, which was now full of students since school just started.

I was leaving today, though. I was told a couple minutes ago that a man was here to get me. I was so sure it was Casey, and though I don’t want it to be, I knew I would be facing him sooner or later. I was curious about what was happening in his life. Though it was none of my business, I was still curious. Did he stay with Jill? Was he still sick? I figured he was still in the hospital, but wasn’t sure. Was he charged for shooting my father or brother? He killed them both, but only my dad was killed from self-defense technically.  Alex never went after him. Though he held a knife to my neck and was close to killing me if Casey came near, he didn’t go after Casey. I was worried about that, but it wasn’t my place.

“Ready to go?” my nurse asked me as she came in.

I nodded.  She helped me into the wheelchair, even though I could walk fine now. I was healed, but there were scars that made me want to die. The scars showed how ugly and horrible of a person I was. Deep healed cuts showed through my skin along my stomach, arms, thighs, chest and a few faded ones on my face that were barely noticeable. Nonetheless, I noticed them. It was the first thing I saw when looking in a mirror.

My nurse rolled me out of my room. Moving down the hall and into the elevator, she soon was pushing me into the lobby. I looked around but didn’t recognize anybody. My eyebrows slightly rose in surprise at not seeing Casey.  It was a good thing he wasn’t here.

A man stuck out of all of the people when he turned, looking at me and smiling lightly. He wore a police uniform, and I immediately felt myself cringe. Though I didn’t recognize him as my father’s friend, I knew that any cop would have a hard time getting me on their side. Every time I saw a cop, it gave me the chills and brought back the memories of my dad’s friends.

I knew this guy was okay since I didn’t recognize him.  I still felt myself going tense and stiff but couldn’t bring myself to care much about it. He walked towards me, and I noticed more about him.  He was young for a cop, around Casey’s age, I would guess. His hair was short, cut to his neck and a soft dirty blond. With nice and blue honest eyes, he gave me a sad smile that told me he knew about me. Knew who I was and what I went though.

“Hello Janice,” his soft and strong voice said, words sure when he said my name. I nodded to him, not being able to bring a full smile to my face. When I didn’t answer, he went on. “I’m Brad.”

My eyebrows rose, and I immediately understood who this guy was. This man was Casey’s best friend. I smiled just barely, recalling the things he told me about him. They were close, good friends. Casey also said they didn’t really talk much after high school. I imagine they knew everything about each other, though.

Looking up at him, I felt my heart jump at seeing how true that really was. They knew everything about each other.
Everything
. I knew this from the way he was observing me, from the small glint in his eye.  He and Casey must have spoken recently if he knew who I was. It was even clear that he knew about us being together. That might not be the best thing considering he was a cop!

Oh, Jesus. I understood how my future wouldn’t turn out great regardless. But Casey… he had a future. If a cop knew that he and I were together, Casey could lose everything. If Brad was disgusted with this or even just doing his job, he could get Casey fired and jailed. Even though they were friends, it might be the right thing to do in his mind.

I heard him chuckle after a moment of seeing my reaction, nodding. “I’m guessing, you know about me then?  Has he told you anything I’m going to regret telling him?”

Glancing behind me, I saw my nurse left, leaving just him and me. The people around us were occupied with their own problems and reasons for being here. Brad and I could talk without anybody hearing. But I wasn’t sure if I could trust him yet.

“Have you... spoken to him?”

He nodded. “Yes and more than you probably think. I know about the two of you.”

I watched his face carefully, looking for a sign that he was ready to escort me to his car. He knew Casey and I were in an illegal relationship. A cop knew. Why, out of all the people, did Casey have to be friends with a cop? Why would he tell him? Sighing, I looked up to him, unsure of what to say. Did he want me to nod and admit that he was right? He was observing me with quick eyes, waiting for some form of answer.

“That’s something he told you?”

He shrugged. “Well, we talked about it. I noticed it first.” He looked around, and he didn’t seem too comfortable talking to me around people. Glancing back to my confused expression, he went on. “Look, I’m here to get you. We can talk in the car on the way there.  My car is parked in back to avoid any reporters. I don’t like talking with so many people around.”

Suspicious, I asked, “Where would you be taking me?”

“I will be taking you to your aunt’s house.”

My aunt. The only family I have left that I actually really knew. My mom’s sister was a great woman who was a lot like her.  We were never really close, but that was before she moved into town. Until a few months ago, she lived far away but moved closer after mom died because she was worried about Alex and me. She was outraged when she saw Alex arrested and thought he would never do anything like that. I knew I could never tell her about anything and never did before. Of course, she couldn’t avoid the obvious now.

“Why can’t my aunt come and get me?” I already knew the answer but was still a little suspicious.  Despite it, I felt I could trust him. I got a good vibe, and if this was Casey’s friend, he must be trustworthy.

“Out of town on business. She wanted to be here, but I knew she couldn’t,” he answered.

That was true. She traveled a lot for her job. My aunt worked as an observer of some company, inspecting how business is done and helps keep track of everything. I honestly didn’t know much because we never spoke about it. I knew she tried coming to see me, but all she was able to do was call a few times. I understood and was happy she didn’t check in on me. Not to mention, I was persistent saying I didn’t want to see her. I didn’t deserve any helpful words or any warm hugs. She was the hardest working woman I knew, and I knew how badly she wanted to be here. She was thinking about quitting to just come and see me, but I talked her out of it, reassuring her I was okay and would be. 

“So? Is it okay if I take you to her house while we talk?” he asked when I didn’t answer.

I nodded and watched as he stepped out of my sight, moving behind me. I felt my chair move and knew he took the handles behind me. He began to push me back and to the other side of the lobby. He walked through a hall to the back of the building before reaching a narrow door.  He pushed me out and under the sky where the sun was slowly retreating towards the crust of the Earth. I knew it was around 4:30 or 5:00 from that.

When we got to his police car, I stood up from where I was sitting in the wheelchair and saw him wheel it back towards the entrance. When we were in his car, me on the passenger side, he started the car and pulled out. His face was thoughtful as he scanned out the windshield, moving across the crowded parking lot before pulling onto the road.

From the corner of my eye, I could see him smile. “He talks about you, constantly.” I looked at him as he continued glancing to me and back to the road. His smile grew, and he chuckled a little. “He talked about you so much.  It got annoying sometimes. I know a lot about you.”

“So you did talk to him. Is he out of the hospital?”

He nodded. “He’s been out for about a week. I visited with him a lot of the times while he was in the hospital.  Most of the time, he seemed fine, but he was drugged up a lot, which got him talking more than I think he wanted. The moment he was out, he wanted to come see you. I told him it would be best if you didn’t see him until after you were out. He understood especially after you didn’t want to see him from the unanswered phone calls.”

I sighed and internally kicked myself. He must feel awful. Must think I am so broken and so far gone if I didn’t bother talking to him. I probably made him feel like shit for not answering. But I couldn’t. He didn’t deserve me and my drama in his life.

“What do you know?” I asked.

He scoffed. “Everything.” When I didn’t say anything, he looked back to me. “He kind of had to tell me everything after all that happened.” My eyes met his for a small second, and I wanted to know what he meant by that. He seemed to have read my thoughts. “It all started when he called me. And he was freaking out — no that’s an understatement. He was on the edge of becoming crazy.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He called me, saying he needed my help. He told me that it was important I do this alone and with none of the other cops, saying some were traitors and working with your father. I didn’t want to believe him and didn’t, at first, but if anybody, I trusted him and did as he said. He told me that a girl was going to be killed or hurt and that no cops could be involved. I said bullshit about acting alone, but he wouldn’t tell me who it was until I promised to not let anyone else know about it. Like I said: I trust him, so I said okay.  He gave me your name and I gave him your address through our records. This was after what seemed like fifteen minutes of us arguing. I am strict when it comes to following rules, especially with my job.”

“How did you find out which cops were the traitors? My dad made a deal with them, and if my dad died, they were to kill me. That didn’t happen so I assume you were able to figure out which cops weren’t on your side.” After waking up in the hospital, I thought a lot. But I thought while my eyes were nailed on the door. I figured they would come and kill me, but they never did. 

He nodded. “Casey told me to check the other cops before I help him. He wanted me to help him come and save you. First, he made it clear it was important to find the few men he was certain betrayed us. So, I looked through their files a little deeper and also found some weed in their cars. Casey told me they were pot smokers so that was a big clue.” Hearing that, I recalled telling Casey on the island about the men that my dad knew. Told him they would smoke pot with my father. He obviously remembered to tell Brad that. “I also looked through phone records between anyone that was an officer. The couple officers that I saw connected to your father were the same ones that I found pot in their cars.”

“Then, after you busted them, you came for me too?”

He nodded, eyes straight as he turned down the main road I was familiar with. “Yeah, when I got to your house, I found a bat on the floor of the kitchen. I knew Casey got there before me. Later, he told me that when he came in, he found a bat behind the door and snuck up behind your father. He said he knocked him out and grabbed the gun that was on him.” Well, that explained the gun Casey had and how he got by my dad.

Brad went on after taking a small breath. He lifted a hand from the wheel, running it through his hair.  “The moment I saw that bat, I heard the gun go off. Immediately after that, I heard it go off again. When I got to your room, I saw him holding you with you blacked out.” He paused and glanced at me, eyes intense. He shook his head, voice full of honesty and feeling. When he didn’t say anything, I spoke.

I didn’t want to pry any more than I already was but I could tell, there was more he wasn’t saying.  “What is it?”

Sighing again, he glanced at me as he stopped at a red light. “I’ve known Casey almost my whole life. He’s been through a lot and has been with a couple girls.  In my life, I have never ever seen that look on his face when he was holding you. He never came close compared to that with other women. Not even with Jill — not even close. He loves you so much. So much. It’s unreal. Him holding you…” He shook his head, moving again at seeing the light was green. He looked back to me as I felt my eyes get watery.  “I was never caught off guard or ever froze doing a job, but all I could do was stare at him as he held you. He kept crying and screaming at you to wake up. Yelled at you that you better not leave him and that he loved you so much. That he loves you more than anything.  I saw it on his face.”