It Was You (27 page)

“I know.”

“
Do you?” she asked. “Because I’m not sure you do. And I get that you’re upset and confused and you’ve got to get all that figured out. But he drove all the way up here. He didn’t wait for you to come back. He didn’t wait at all. And he did that for you.”

I did know that. It was part of what was adding to my confusion. So many things about him were confusing. I just had to figure out whether or not I wanted to deal with figuring those things out.

“I know,” I said. I nodded at the door. “I need to get my stuff.”

Tana nodded and we went into her room.

Athena and Gil were already under the covers in her bed, giggling, oblivious to us. I quickly gathered up my things, shoving them back in my bag. I gave Tana a quick hug and promised to call her when I got home.

West was standing next to my car when I went back down to the parking lot.

“You wanna get something to eat before we hit the road?” he asked.

“
No. I just want to go home.”

“
Abby, come on. Are we not going to talk…”

“
No, we aren’t,” I said, sharply. “Not tonight. I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m confused. So I don’t want to do anything other than drive.”

“
Well, by all means then,” he said, agitation in his face. “Let’s do what you want.” He stepped out of the way of the car. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“
West, that’s not what I…”

He held up his hand, backing up toward his truck. “Got it. Loud and clear. See you in San Diego.”

I watched him climb into his truck and slam the door behind him. The engine rumbled to life.

I yanked open my door, now more pissed off than ever, and chucked my bag into the backseat. I sat down in the driver’s seat, pulled the door closed and jammed my key into the ignition.

And nothing happened.

I turned the key again. There was a clicking noise, but nothing else.

“Shit,” I muttered.

I turned the key again and got the same clicking sound.

I punched the steering wheel and threw my head back against the headrest. Nothing was going my way.

West’s truck pulled in front of my car and he climbed down out of it, the agitated expression still on his face. He came around to my door. I rolled down the window.

“Your battery’s dead,” he said.

“
How do you know?”

“
I saw you turn the key,” he said. “Your lights flickered. The engine didn’t turn over. Guessing your battery is shot.”

“
Great. What do I do?”

“
I don’t have my cables,” he said. “Or I’d jump you. And we aren’t going to find a battery this time of night. Have to wait until morning.”

I sighed. I was so frustrated and I felt like bursting into tears. “I just want to go home.”

“We can wait until morning,” he said. “Then I can put a battery in and you’ll be good to go.”

But I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to go home. I didn’t want to spend anymore time with him, let myself get more confused. I just wanted to be by myself. But I had only one option to get home.

“No,” I said. “Will just take me home?”

“
To San Diego?” he asked, then shrugged. “Yeah, if that’s what you want.”

I reached in the back and grabbed my back. I got out and shut the door.

I looked at him. “It’s what I want.”

He shrugged and headed back to his truck. “Your call. Door’s open.”

It was a stinging invite, but I didn’t care. I was being just as aloof with him and I couldn’t blame him for returning the attitude.

I climbed into the truck and set my bag between us.

He looked at it, shook his head, then laughed as he shifted into park and we pulled out of the lot. We drove away from the dorm, thru downtown and he pushed the truck onto the highway,

Then promptly proceeded to get off at the very next exit.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

He didn’t say anything, just stared straight ahead. We drove through an intersection and he pulled into the parking lot of a small motel.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked again, completely enflamed.

He pulled into a parking stall and shut off the engine. He shifted in the seat. “I’m tired.”

“You said we were going back to San Diego.”

“
I’m tired and I’m not driving five hours in silence without getting things figured out between me and you,” he said. “So we're spending the night here so we can get it figured out.”

“
I’m not spending the night here, West,” I said, angry. “I got in the truck because you said we were going back to San Diego. If you don’t want to drive, then I will.”

He shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere until we get this figured out, Abby.”

Anger boiled in my stomach. “Then take me back to Tana’s.”

“
Your car doesn’t work.”

“
I’ll find another one.”

“
No, you won’t.”

He was exasperating and seriously pissing me off. “West, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny,” he said. “I’m really not. But there’s this…thing…between us now. And I don’t like it. I want it gone. And I’m not gonna spend the entire night driving and pretending like it’s not there.” He pushed open his door. “So I’m going inside and getting us a room for the night. With two beds. Just so you don’t think this is some sort of plan to get you in bed.”

He shut the door and disappeared into the motel office.

I leaned my head against the window. I only had one other option and that was to call Tana and tell her to come get me. And then tomorrow she and I could figure out what was wrong with my car. But I felt like all I was doing was calling Tana to rescue me, like I’d done when I’d gone running up to San Luis in the first place. At some point, I was going to need to take responsibility for myself and my life. I hated that he’d lied to me and gotten me into the car under a false premise, but I wasn’t looking forward to the suffocatingly silent drive, either.

So my choice had been made for me.

West came back out from the office, clutching a key and a small folded up piece of paper. He opened the car door. “We’re set. You can come in or stay here or whatever. It’s 131.” He shut the door.

I watched him walk down the concrete walk that ran the length of the motel. He stopped at the last door, shoved the keycard into the slot and disappeared into the room.

I sat in the truck for a minute. How had I gotten to this point? Two weeks earlier, I'd been all set to go a four year college and live in the dorms. I didn't have a boyfriend and I was OK with that. More than OK. Now, I was sitting in a truck outside of a motel in the middle of the night, halfway up the California coast, with a guy that I was pretty sure I was in love with.

Life was happening fast.

And it felt like it was rushing at me at warp speed.

I grabbed my bag and pulled it onto my lap.

Maybe it was time for me to figure out how to slow it down.

FORTY FOUR

I slammed the door to the motel room and threw my bag on the empty bed closest to me. West was stretched out on the other, one hand tucked behind his head, the other pointing the remote at the TV on the dresser.

“
Okay,” I said. “You wanna talk. Let’s talk.”

He lazily rolled his eyes in my direction. “Well, this sounds like it should be fun.”

“Don’t be all passive-aggressive with me now,” I said. “You’re the one who pulled in here. You’re the one saying you can’t take the silence. You’re the one saying you want to deal with it. So let’s deal.”

He stared at me for a moment, before breaking into a slow smile. “A side of you I haven’t seen yet. I think I like it.” He punched a button on the remote and the TV shut off. He propped himself up on the bed. “Okay. Let’s deal.”

“Me first,” I said. “Why do you insist on beating the shit out of people at the drop of a hat?”

“
I don’t.”

“
Yeah. You do. And when Griffin stopped you on the beach that night, he mentioned the police,” I said, my anger and frustration pushing me forward. “Have you been arrested before for fighting or for something else or what?”

His cocky grin faded. He folded his arms across his chest. “Yeah.”

“Yeah, what, West? You’re gonna need to be more specific,” I said, finally feeling like I had the upper hand with him.

He looked away from me. “Yeah. I’ve been arrested. Yeah it was for fighting. Yeah that’s why Griffin brought up the police. Because I’m still on probation.”

The churning in my stomach picked up the pace. I knew that there was something he’d kept from me. I’d felt it from the first night. He was so direct with nearly everything else, but there was always a certain point where he went vague on me.

I sat down on the edge of the bed with my bag on it. “Tell me.”

He shifted uncomfortably on the bed. “Tell you what?”

“
Tell me what happened.”

The muscles in his neck tightened. “I got in a fight. Pretty simple.”

“Jesus Christ, West. You tell me that you wanna clear the air and I’m sitting here asking questions and you’re just avoiding them,” I said. “You blame me for this thing between us, but you aren’t exactly helping.”

He rubbed at his chin, then ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Alright. Summer after I graduated. Was having a conversation with my dad. My scholarship to Stanford was only partial. We basically had to pay half. Not a bad thing. All I had to do was keep my grades up and basically money for housing and scholarship was mine.” He paused. “I kept my grades up. My dad said not to worry about the housing money. He’d have it for me. Don’t get a job. Just told me to play ball all summer and he’d take care of it.”

I sat and listened, watching him. He grew more uncomfortable the more he spoke.

“
So the bill comes,” he continued. “It’s sitting on the table and I opened it. Money was due a month earlier. It was basically last call. Pay or I could forget everything. I asked him about it.” He cleared his throat. “Said he didn’t have it. I was like ‘so you don’t have it right this second or you aren’t gonna have it at all?’” He shook his head, smiled bitterly. “He said he wasn’t gonna have it at all. I had to call the coach at Stanford, basically beg him for a full scholarship. But the money was gone, you know? They’d already given it to the guys who were getting it. There was nothing he could do for me.” He shrugged. “So I was shit out of luck.”

As angry as I’d been with him, seeing him sitting there, remembering it, I felt sorry for him. And sorry that I’d basically screamed at him to tell me the story.

“I was confused,” West said, staring at his hands in his lap. “We’d had a savings account for years. I’d even put some of my own money into it. It was always supposed to be my college fund or whatever. When I found out I was getting the partial, I didn’t even think twice about it. I knew there should’ve been enough in there to cover it.” He chewed on his lip for moment, shaking his head. “So I asked him where it was and he wouldn’t really give me an answer, but I wouldn’t leave it alone. He finally told me.”

A car engine started out in the parking lot and I heard muffled voices. Car doors shut and the engine quieted as it drove out of the lot.

“He’d gambled it away,” West finally said. “Went out to the Indian casinos and lost it all. I still don’t even know why. I don’t know if we needed the money or what, but he took it and pissed it away. Totally gone.”

My fingers tightened against the bedspread. It was hard to listen to and it was hard to see his confident exterior cracked. As much as his cockiness could drive me nuts, it was strange and disconcerting to see him without it.

“I got in touch with some of the other schools that offered me scholarships,” West explained. “But by that time it was so late, all I was offered were walk-on spots. Which wasn’t gonna happen because I had zero money for tuition.” He shook his head, deep lines forming on his forehead. “So I was stuck.”

The air conditioner kicked on and buzzed quietly in the corner.

“So what happened?” I asked after a moment. “You got in a fight with your dad?”

He smiled, but it wasn’t a happy one. “No. Exactly the opposite. I totally stopped talking to him. I’ve barely spoken a word to him since.”

I was puzzled. “I don’t get it then. You said you got in a fight. Or something.”

“
I’m getting there,” he said, glancing at me for a moment before dropping his eyes back to his hands. “So two days after I knew I was totally screwed, I went out with Griffin. And Kayla.”

Hearing her name caused a twinge in my gut.

“We were at a party down off Law,” he said. “I’d had a few beers, but I wasn’t drunk. But I was just pissed off at the world. Just mad, in general. And I was looking for a fight.” He shook his head, his eyes far away. “So stupid.”