Jenny's Choice (Apple Creek Dreams #3) (20 page)

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY

Jeremy

J
ENNY STOOD ON THE STEP
leading up to the Wooster library, reading a letter from Jeremy.

Jenny started up the stairs and then turned around and went back down. She stopped and turned. Indecision rooted her to the spot.

What am I doing here? Jeremy is under the
bann.
But I want to see him. I miss him!

She took a deep breath, ordered her feet to move, climbed the stairs, and went through the front door.

Jeremy King stood in the lobby, smiling. “That was a real battle for you, wasn’t it?”

“What?”

“I’ve been standing by the door watching you trying to decide whether you should come in. Does Samuel Lapp really hold that much power?”

Jenny blushed. “Actually it’s not about
Bisschop
Lapp, if you must know.”

“What was it then?”

Jeremy’s smile was getting under Jenny’s skin.

“And I don’t like you laughing at me,” she said.
I never should have come here. This is just going to mean trouble.

“Jenny, you’re a strange little thing. I’m not laughing at you. Now, let’s just go over to the coffee shop and get a cup of coffee. I promise to be on my best behavior.”

“All right, Jeremy, but I can’t stay long.”

They walked in silence to the café around the corner. It was crowded, and they took a table in the back.

Jenny got right to the point. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

Jeremy frowned. “Okay, have it your way—no small talk.” He took a breath. “Here’s my proposal. You already know I think your book is terrific. I think it could be a best seller. Interest in fiction about the Amish is growing, and I know the book could do well. If it troubles you to be an Amish woman writing fiction, you could publish it under a different name—what they call a pen name.”

“I know what a pen name is, Jeremy.”

Jeremy looked straight into her eyes. His gaze was so piercing that she had to look down at the table.

“Look, Jenny, let’s just get something clear,” he said. “I only want the best for you. I have no ulterior motives. You’ve made it clear where we stand romantically, and I’m fine with that. But can’t we at least be friends? I would never do anything to hurt you, so you don’t have to be defensive or short with me. Please.”

Jeremy’s directness was like a slap in the face, and Jenny relented.

“You’re right, Jeremy. I shouldn’t be short with you. You’ve only always been kind and helpful to me. You
are
my friend. I’ll be nice. It’s just my way sometimes when I am trying to sort things out.”

“What are you sorting out?”

Jenny looked up into his eyes again. “Well, if we’re going to be direct, then I’ll tell you. I’m sorting out my feelings about you. I told you I wouldn’t marry you, but I’m still conflicted by your proposal. You’re a wonderful man, and you would be the answer to most women’s dreams. You’re kind, considerate, articulate, and generous. You’ve made a place for yourself in the world, and you could offer a woman happiness and security. But for me, there is more to it.”

“Jenny—”

“You asked, so let me finish while I’m able, all right?”

Jeremy nodded.

“I’ve been writing a lot since we last spoke. I’ve been doing a lot of research and digging deeply into my Amish roots. In the process it’s as though I’ve come to the bedrock of my faith. And I discovered something about being Amish I never realized before.”

Jenny took a deep breath.

“Jeremy, it’s a good thing that we do. The Amish people may not be perfect, but the premise behind the Amish way is a good one. You’ve left the Amish faith and have chosen not to return. That for me is the most important thing. I love my faith. I can’t leave the church, even if I’m drawn to you, and…the truth is, Jeremy, I
am
drawn to you.”

“You…you could care for me, Jenny?” Jeremy’s eyes opened wide. “But what about Jonathan?”

“That’s the other thing. I had a wonderful life with Jonathan. Even though I do care for you, I wouldn’t be honest if I told you that my feelings for you are the same as they were for my husband. He was my first love. I thought we would grow old together. When he died, I had no
way to come to grips with the loss. He went out to sea on a boat, the boat exploded, and that was that. No body laid out in the front room, no funeral, no grave. It’s like he just vanished without a word and left me here with no answers.”

“I understand that, Jenny,” Jeremy said. “And if you accept my proposal, I could live with that. Thank you for being honest with me. Now let me ask you something.”

“What?”

“Suppose I told you that I might be able to go back to the church?”

“But you said you would never repent of something you didn’t do.”

“I wouldn’t have to repent if I could prove my innocence.”

“Jeremy, what are you saying?”

He opened his briefcase and pulled out an envelope. “This came to my office a few days ago. It’s from one of the men who falsely accused me in Lancaster. He’s had a change of heart and wants to confess his part in Samuel Lapp’s treachery. He’s willing to testify before the elders.”

“Jeremy! That’s wonderful! I…”

And then the reality of what Jeremy was saying hit Jenny.
If he were back in the church, I would have no reason not to marry him!

Suddenly Jenny’s emotions were in turmoil. “When will you be able to work this out?” she asked.

Jeremy put the letter away and took Jenny’s hands. “If everything goes well I should be able to meet with the elders next week.”

“Next week?” Suddenly the choice being set before her was almost too much for Jenny to bear. She wanted to run away, far away. She wanted to hide and put all this away from her mind.

“I don’t know what to say, Jeremy.”

“What needs to be said? If all goes well, you and I would be free to begin courting in a month.”

“But what about your publishing business?”

“I wouldn’t have to give up publishing. Amish people run all kinds
of businesses—manufacturing, retail stores, builders…there are even Amish accountants. Being a publisher wouldn’t keep me from being Amish. I would just concentrate on the Amish community. And your book could be our star.”

“Star?”

“Yes, Jenny. I believe in you, and I believe in this book. So that takes me back to my first suggestion. We could publish it under another name—even a man’s name if you like—and you could remain just plain Jenny. You could keep doing what you love, I could do the same, and we could get your books out where they could do some good.”

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘do some good,’ Jeremy.”

“Look, Jenny. I’ve been doing some research of my own. There haven’t been many Amish fiction books published, but the ones that are out there have done quite well. I wondered about that, and I have my opinion about why that’s so. I think people outside the church are interested in the Amish way because we offer something the world doesn’t have—peace. We’re not caught up in the hustle and bustle of the world. We live a plain and simple life, we’re tied to the land, and we have an identity that goes back for centuries. Most people today move around so much they have no roots. They no longer live where they grew up, miles divide families, and the sense of community is gone. If they could read about a life that brings them back to the simple things, I think it would become a huge market, and we would be positioned to go with it.”

“Go with it?” Jenny asked.

“Yes, Jenny, we could be part of something that could make us very wealthy.”

Jenny looked at Jeremy across the table. Her emotions began to calm, and suddenly she saw things very clearly.

“I never thought about having a big success, Jeremy. And now that you put it so clearly, I’m not sure this is what I want for my books. I’m Jenny Hershberger. I’m an Amish woman. I love the Plain way. Wouldn’t that kind of success just take away our peace? Wouldn’t we become like those who are out there in the world?”

“And isn’t that a very old-fashioned way to look at it?” Jeremy patted her hand. “Jesus said we would be in the world even though we’re not of the world. I think we could work it out. Just trust me in this, Jenny. Let me do this for you.”

Jenny felt like he was patronizing her.
Am I willing to sacrifice everything I love just to have a man in my life? Do I really want fame and fortune? What about Rachel? Can we raise her in the Amish way if we have so much money?

Jeremy kept pressing his point. “What do you say, Jenny? If I can get reinstated in the church, are you willing to consider what I’m asking—about the book and our relationship?”

Jenny looked at him for a long moment, collecting herself. Then finally she spoke.

“This is very sudden, Jeremy. I had reconciled myself to the fact that you and I could never be together. And I had given up on the book ever being published. Now you tell me that you can probably go back to the church and you still want to publish the book. I need to pray about all of this, and I need to talk to someone.”

“Your parents?”

“No, I need to talk to Jonathan.”

Jeremy and Jenny hadn’t noticed the man sitting at the table in a far corner of the room. He had been watching them intently. Now he finished his coffee, put some money on the table, and walked out of the shop. He walked down the street to the row of telephone booths in front of the library. He stepped inside, put in a quarter, and dialed a number. After a few rings, someone answered on the other end of the line.

“Yes?”

“Can you get in touch with
Bisschop
Lapp?”

“Yes…who is this?”

“Matthew Bender. I’m a friend of the
bisschop
. I saw the Hershberger woman in Wooster today, and I followed her. She is with Jeremy King.”

“Jenny Hershberger?”

“Yes. They met at the coffee shop, and they were holding hands.”

“Thank you. I’ll make sure he gets the message.”

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY
-O
NE

Trouble

“I
NEED SOME TIME ALONE,
Jeremy. And there’s still the matter of your
bann
. Until that’s settled I need to be careful. We shouldn’t be seen together. I don’t want to complicate things any further.”

Jeremy understood. Jenny left the shop and went to the bus stop. She felt trapped, and she knew why. A choice she had never wanted to make had been thrust upon her.

Why couldn’t he just leave it alone? If he’s allowed back in the church, I can’t use his
bann
as an excuse. I will have to deal with my feelings, and I don’t want to.

The troubling thoughts turned over and over in Jenny’s mind all during the bus ride home. When she got off the bus in Apple Creek, she had barely walked a block toward home when a car pulled up next to her.