Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 1.1 - Sometimes You Just Know (7 page)

Justin increases his efforts, and then a hand is coming down to warn him, and he decides there's no way he's pulling off when Dan didn't, but he also doesn't want to choke on come, so he leans back a little, focuses on the head, and it isn't long before he can feel Dan's body seize up as he finds release. There's still no noise, though, other than a little rough breathing, and it's disconcerting.
Justin leans back and wipes his mouth and chin, and as soon as he's

out of Dan's space, Dan's hands come down to tuck himself in and zip up. He's still pretty hard, so it can't be totally comfortable, but Justin doesn't stop him. Maybe the guy's a bit more hung up about sex than he'd seemed, although he sure hadn't seemed shy about
Justin's
dick, and there's just no way someone can give a blow job that good without some serious practice.

Dan carefully shifts his feet back into the truck, away from Justin, and Justin sighs, but then berates himself. Okay, so they've got some adjusting to do; they need to get used to each other's styles, or something. He can do that. But Dan should do a little too, he decides, and as he pulls himself to his feet he leans in and finds Dan's mouth with his. Dan opens his lips without resistance, but there's not a lot of enthusiasm, and Justin pulls away shortly after he starts.

"We okay here?" It sounds a bit testy, maybe, but Justin isn't sure what else to say.
Dan looks startled. "Oh, shit, man, I didn't say thanks. I'm sorry…yeah, that was great. Thanks." The guy looks about twelve, like he got scolded for forgetting his manners. Justin feels like a dirty old man. He wonders for the first time just how old Dan is. He's younger than Justin, maybe mid-twenties…Justin hopes. But he was bartending, so at least he's over twenty-one, even if he isn't acting it right now.
"Dude, I didn't mean you had to thank me…. I just meant… you seem a bit distant, or something."
The mask is on in a fraction of a second. Dan grins cockily at him. "Nah, man, I'm right here!" He looks down. "Hey, are your knees okay? I should have put my jacket down or something."
Justin shakes his head impatiently. "No, I'm fine." He looks at Dan again, trying to understand, and to come up with a plan. But he gets nothing.
"You ready to go, then?" Dan asks, and Justin surrenders.
"Yeah, I guess." He crosses around to his side of the truck and climbs in, and Dan puts it into gear and pulls out. The 'kittens' start up again, and Dan throws a smile at Justin, but it's remote and a little sad, like

an old man reminiscing about fun he'd had as a boy. Justin's head is spinning. He'd thought he was getting somewhere, but now he feels like he's right back where he started. Or maybe even further back, like he's lost ground.

They drive in silence for quite a while. Justin struggles to find something to talk about, something that might throw a rope across whatever chasm it is that seems to be gaping between them. Finally, "So, Magic's doing really well this season."

Dan's quiet, and then says almost grudgingly, "Yeah, you've done a good job with him. In the ribbons seven times out of eight events."
Justin remembers that Dan had mentioned that at their last meeting. "So you've been following him, then?" It's hard to tell in the darkness of the cab, but Justin thinks maybe Dan blushes.
"You know, I try to keep up. And he was a good horse, better than I usually get to ride. So…yeah, I kept an eye on him."
"I don't get that. You're a great rider." Justin catches himself. "Well, from what little I've seen, at least. Why aren't you riding good horses?"
And now Justin is sure that Dan is blushing, but maybe not with embarrassment, because his tone is bitter when he speaks. "Not everyone's Mommy and Daddy run a stable, you know. We don't all get our rides handed to us on a silver platter."
Justin's taken aback. He knows he's lucky that horses are a family business, but there really aren't a lot of silver platters around the Archer stable. He tries to laugh it off. "Silver manure fork, maybe…"
Dan doesn't say anything, but he's staring ahead like he's fighting to stay on the road through a blizzard. Justin has a feeling he should stay quiet, but he can't let it go. "Seriously, I know it's easier with connections, but lots of people just get hired on to barns, work their way up…"
Dan looks like he's going to fight, and then his shoulders slump as if he's already lost. "Yeah, you're right, lots of people do."
"Well, it's not like it's too late, right? You're still young, you've got

Dan just nods. "Yeah, lots of time." He makes it sound like they're talking about the length of his jail sentence.
Justin has no idea where to go with this, so he decides to shift the subject again. "Willow's going to be great, we think. The mare from the other day?" He shakes his head. "She's got some issues under saddle, but she's an incredible mover." He glances over at Dan, hoping for a spark. "Well, you saw that yourself, you said. You saw her in the field?"
Dan nods in confirmation. "Yeah, great balance, a lot of natural collection…"
"That hill in the back that I was telling you about? We ride the eventers up and down it, usually just at the walk, maybe a trot if they're hyper—great for their backs, their hindquarters…" Dan nods, and Justin feels a bit stupid. Hill riding isn't exactly a revolutionary idea in equine conditioning. But Dan seems to be calming down a little, so maybe Justin's doing something right. "My friend Chris, he lives across the road, and they have quarter horses." Dan glances over to see if there's more to the story, and Justin congratulates himself on having regained at least some portion of the man's interest. Unfortunately, there
isn't
really too much more to the story; Justin had just been grasping at straws, trying to find a horse-related topic that didn't relate to Dan's lack of professional success. But then he thinks of something. It's not great, but it's something.
"When we were kids, we used to set up courses, me on an eventer and him on a quarter horse, and we'd race each other. And we'd take turns setting up the courses, and we'd both cheat like crazy. Well, not cheat, but…I'd set courses with lots of long gallops, and big jumps, and he'd set courses with, like, a barrel-race in the middle, or…." Justin laughs to himself, surprised by the memory. "This one time he had a course that was like a horse-version of one of those Halloween haunted houses, you know? He set up all these tarps to flap in the wind, and the horses had to take this path between them, so close that the tarps actually hit them. And then you

these crazy birds squawking and flapping, and then you had to ride right up the front steps of their porch and go along the side—they have this great wrap-around porch—and down the back stairs. I can't even remember all the stuff there was."

"So how far'd you get? On the eventer?" Dan sounds genuinely interested.
Justin shakes his head. "I can't believe we got past the tarps, but we did. But those chickens—there was no way on earth that horse was going in the damn chicken yard."
Dan smiles and nods. "And how about the quarter horse?"
"Made it all the way through, the son-of-a-bitch! Took a shit on the porch, though, and Chris's mom was not impressed. Said it was bad enough that Christopher came home every day smelling like horses, she didn't need them right up on the porch." Justin remembers Mrs. Foster yelling at them, and how Chris had hung his head, not because he was truly ashamed, but because he had to hide his triumphant grin.
"He still around? They still live there?" There's a new note in Dan's voice, and Justin has to school himself to not hope that it might be a touch of jealousy.
"His parents are still there…he lives in town now. He's a lawyer."
"Lawyer, huh?" Dan sounds like he's not a fan of the profession. "You guys still friends?"
"Yeah, absolutely. We don't spend as much time together as when we were kids, obviously, but, yeah, he's my best friend. And our parents are friends, and his sisters are great. You know, kind of like extended family."
Dan nods, and they drive on in silence again, but it feels a bit more comfortable now, or at least Justin hopes it does. As they get closer to the farm, he gives Dan directions, and suddenly they're there, Dan turning the ignition off and climbing out, and Justin is following, but now that they've arrived, he's starting to wonder if the whole thing is a good idea. Well, not

the
whole
thing—he definitely still thinks that Dan is a good idea, but… "We don't have to do anything, you know." Judging by the look on
Dan's face, that was a little too vague. "I mean…we can just go to sleep, if
you want. I can show you around tomorrow, we can go for a ride, and, you
know… we could get to know each other a bit better."
"How well do we need to know each other?" The barnyard is lit from
above, and Dan's facing away from the light, so his face is in shadows.
Justin doesn't think he needs to see it to know that Dan's got his mask back
on. Dan moves in, pulls Justin's face down and gives him a deep, probing
kiss. Justin can feel his body respond even as his brain hesitates, but he
fights for control.
"Are you sure you want this?" He manages to take a half-step
backwards.
Dan stares at him. "Yeah, I want it. Jesus, what's the problem?" "I just… is this what
you
want, or what you think
I
want?" "I don't even know what you're talking about. If you're not into it,
just say so, stop trying to blame me." Dan's voice is strained. Justin shakes his head. "No, I'm not trying to blame you. But on the
roof, and in the truck… I don't know, you didn't seem too happy,
afterward. I just… nothing needs to happen tonight, you know?" Dan looks a little stunned, then laughs bitterly. "You just don't want
to bottom, is that it? Fuck, man, I was just joking." He steps forward and
runs his hands down Justin's chest towards his groin. "We can do it any
way you want to…."
It takes superhuman strength to pull away, but Justin does it. "No,
Dan, it's not that, it's just…we should just slow down a little, I think…." And then Dan steps away and his voice is cold, and tired. "Yeah,
okay." He shakes his head. "What the fuck, man? Did your car break down
and you needed a lift home? You could have just asked, you know…" Now it's Justin who's moving forward, reaching out for some
contact. "No, Dan, I want this. I do, I just want to do it right." He looks

"Yeah, okay. Talking. Sounds like a good time." Dan shakes his head. "I don't know what you're after, man, but I don't think I'm the guy you're looking for." He's back at the truck now, and he opens the driver'sside door. "I'll see you around, Justin."

"No, shit, Dan, don't leave, man…"
"Nah, I've got a bit of a drive ahead of me, I'd better get going." "You should stay, then, and make it in the morning…" Dan's polite voice cuts through Justin. "Thanks, but I'll sleep better

in my own bed." He's in the truck now, and he shuts the door and turns the ignition on. Justin thinks about making a grand gesture, throwing himself in front of the vehicle,
anything
to stop Dan from driving out of his life. But he just stands there as Dan backs up carefully and pulls away. The driveway has lights along it, and as Dan heads out, Justin can see that he doesn't look back.

"Okay, just run through it one more time." Chris's enjoyment of Justin's pain is typical, and almost soothing. Almost. “So you've had a crush on this guy for a year—even though you're
not
actually a pre-teen girl—and you finally have the chance to get it on, and you talk him into going back to your place, which is, like, an hour of highway driving away, and when you get there, when you've finally got Mr. Perfect right where want him, you chicken out and can't seal the deal." Chris is driving Justin back to pick up his car, which, technically, is a favor, but Justin should have known it wouldn't come for free. "Was it performance anxiety? Were you afraid that it couldn't possibly be as romantic and perfect as you'd dreamed about for so long?"

Chris shakes his head. "I think I've been pretty open-minded about your obvious sexual deviancy, but this…you want to be gay, okay, whatever… it's your dick. But I don't know if I can accept that you're such a damn pussy."

Justin leans his head against the glass of the window and sighs. Chris likes to make speeches, and he likes to make fun of Justin. So he's pretty much in heaven right now. There's no point in trying to stop him, Justin knows from experience. It's best to just wait it out.

"This is the con man, right? Were you afraid that he was going to lift the silverware if you let him upstairs? Oh, that's right; you don't have anything worth stealing in that shit hole." Chris sighs, and glances over at Justin with a mock-dreamy expression. "Unless you were afraid he was going to steal your heart…" Justin flinches a little, and he knows that Chris sees it because the other man is quiet for a moment. "Shit, Justin, seriously? Are you really that hung up on this guy?" Chris sounds like he's not sure if this is the funniest thing ever, or if it's actually too sad to make fun of. He seems to be waiting for a response.

it's…it's different, somehow." He looks out the window, and remembers the mix of apprehension and hope in Dan's real smiles. "He's…I don't know. There's something there. Something good."

Chris is quiet for a minute. "Shit. How bad do you figure you fucked it up last night?"
Justin shakes his head. "Pretty bad, maybe. It was… he booked out of there pretty fast, and he was kinda mad."
"Yeah, no shit. You make him drive you all the way home, when you've got a perfectly good car just sitting there, and then he doesn't even get off? That's not cool, man."
Justin can feel Chris building up for another of his lectures on sexual etiquette, and he decides to make a pre-emptive strike. He hadn't told Chris the whole story of the night, but now he thinks maybe he should add a detail or two. "Well, that's not entirely true…he did get off, once at least."
Chris looks confused. "Wait, what? You said you backed out as soon as you got home…."
"Yeah, but… rest stops aren't just for resting anymore." He knows he sounds a little smug, but he can't help it.
It takes a minute to sink in. "Jesus, really? So, why'd you chicken out at home?"
"Okay, I didn't chicken out…I just didn't want to rush things."
"What rushing? If you already did it at the rest stop…"
"No, the rest stop was just blow jobs."
Chris shakes his head. "Oh,
just
blow jobs. Fuck, why can't I be gay? I could have
just
blow jobs for a long time and still be pretty damn happy." Justin thinks of Dan's mouth, his hands, and he has to agree that he'd be happy with just that for a long time too. Hell, he'd be happy with just a smile.
While Justin's been reminiscing, Chris has obviously been thinking.