Kept (32 page)

“You’re an idiot,” Jillian Atkins had spat. “I told you the Mariana Trench is in the Indian Ocean.”

“Oh, shut up,” her husband said. “You always have to be right. I’d bet my ears it’s in the middle of the Atlantic. I watched a program about it on the Discovery Channel.”

They had the kind of arguments where all you could do was try to look away from the pending train wreck. Of course, I didn’t intervene to tell them they were both wrong. They weren’t in my therapy group, after all.

The divorce ceremony should only last about twenty
minutes, then the other candidates and I would be initiated into the pack by Farley. Who had somehow managed to live this long without dying from being an asshole.

After an introduction to the course, the candidates separated to head home to rest for three hours. I didn’t bother to rest at the cottage. Instead, I sat in my car with a large lunch from Archie’s and my last exchange with Nick on my mind. He’d come by early this morning to check on me.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “You’re still weak.”

“I thought I could let it go. But I can’t.” Instead of looking at his face, I watched the way the wind whipped the lapel of his black coat. When I finally braved a glance at his face, he avoided my gaze, and I suspected he knew my feelings hadn’t changed—even with Thorn’s marriage approaching fast.

We didn’t talk about whether I’d see him as more than a friend after the trials either. Maybe after I’d healed I’d be strong enough to think about the future and what I wanted to do. Maybe I wouldn’t. I had a lot of thinking to do once I got past the trials today.

“You’ve given me a lot to think about—especially in terms of healing others,” Nick said.

“I’ve given you that much practice, huh?”

His smile raised my spirits. “I’ve made the decision to enter medical school, under Dr. Frank’s tutelage.”

My mouth dropped. “That’s a big decision.”

“I need something new to occupy my time. A long-term goal instead of working at a pawnshop.” He shrugged and appeared thoughtful. “Doing the same thing year in, year out won’t give me a sense of accomplishment.”

“You’ll do great. And if you need help editing research papers, I’m pretty handy with a red pencil.”

“I’ll definitely keep you in mind.” He reached into his
pocket and palmed something. Then he slowly opened my hand and placed two rose petals there. Bright red and freshly plucked. My skin tingled from where they lay.

With my other hand, I traced along the edge of the petals. “Is this from the rose you gave me? The one to protect my property?”

“Yeah. The magic still lingers there.” Our gazes locked briefly. “It’ll always be there.”

As part of our first therapy exercise together—for me to go into an antiques store without buying anything—Nick had to give me the rose these petals came from. It had been so beautiful.

I managed to nod and thanked him for the gift. He’d never fully explained what powers the rose held, but ever since I received it, I’d kept some of its petals tucked away within my coat. Even though I’d told Nick we weren’t meant to be together, he would always be with me. Forever my friend.

The adrenaline rush of waiting for the trials to start surged through my veins. Underneath it, doubt and apprehension tried to break free. But I refused to let those feelings overwhelm me.

Instead, I focused on what I was about to start. I gathered together with the other candidates so I could hear an introductory spiel from Rex. My luck just kept getting better and better.

“Good evening, candidates,” Rex said. He frowned at me and shook his head. I gave him my screw-you look and then stared straight ahead. “You have the ten-mile run first. Those who complete it will be rewarded points. Anyone with times below the expected minimum will be disqualified as unworthy.”

He paced back and forth between us in a lousy attempt at intimidation. “After the run, you’ll encounter
the most difficult obstacle course on the eastern seaboard. We don’t allow cowards to enter. In our pack, only the strong prevail. The weak go rogue.”

Oh, come on. Can you jack off to your glory speech another time?

(I zoned out for a few minutes but then paid attention again when he talked about the scoring system.) “Those with the lowest scores after the obstacle course will be eliminated. The final trial is the ranking showdown.” He grinned. “My personal favorite. The candidates left will prove themselves worthy before the alpha by making their enemy submit. We want to see strength and character added to our ranks. Not some pussy-whipped morons who can’t defend a perimeter. You will have orders, and we expect them followed. You’ve got two minutes to get ready before the run.”

I checked out the competition. As the only woman, my odds weren’t great. All of these werewolves had lived as rogue wolves at one time or another in places outside my territory. I recognized two of them. One was Ian, the mechanic who worked on Aunt Vera’s car. He was a good man and wanted a fresh start in town with his small family. The other one I recognized, Sean, had arrived in town a little over a year ago. He had drifted here from Arizona and worked odd jobs until he’d secured a position at the mill. The other three candidates eyed me with disdain. To them, I was an easy way to gain points and achieve a higher rank.

Ian nodded in my direction. “You ready?”

Not really
. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I can keep a good pace if you need a running partner.”

I smiled. “No need. I couldn’t prepare for the rest of this course, but I did train for the run.”

He chuckled. “Well, then I expect you’ll be running circles around me.”

Aggie and my family waited at the starting line, along with the rest of the South Toms River werewolves. Far behind the crowd, I spied Thorn standing next to his father. Bundled up for the cold, Old Farley leaned against his cane and watched us with his beady eyes.

“Let’s go, Nat!” Aggie cheered.

The sun hung low in the sky as Rex raised a flag to signal the beginning of the trials. My heart nearly exploded in my chest as I waited. The frost in the air created gusts of mist with every breath. As I watched the flag hold steady in the air, I psyched myself up. Flared my nostrils. Allowed adrenaline to fill my blood. I could survive a ten-mile run in the middle of winter. Even with an injured leg. This was what I wanted.

The flag flew down with a
whoosh
, and we all sped ahead as fast as we could—in the snow. The path hadn’t been carved out for us; only flags marked our route. Whatever happened to global warming, with all this powdery white? I plowed through the snow in my light boots, trying to think only of the course, to empty my mind. Does that ever work? The forest was quiet, except for my heavy breathing and the sounds of boots thumping through the snowdrifts. I had dressed appropriately, of course, but that didn’t prevent the film of sweat across my brow under my cap. Aggie had warned me earlier to wear warm yet light clothing. Thankfully, my father had supplied me with some of my uncle’s work clothes from his automotive repair shop. The garment was clean, and now I had something with movement and that would ensure my hairless rear end wouldn’t freeze as I battled through the snow.

The three candidates I didn’t know managed to sprint to the front. Sean was about five hundred feet ahead of me, while Ian had slowed down to run next to me.

“Come on, Natalya,” he belted out. “You need to
move them legs, girl. You can’t let those guys set the pace.”

I grunted in response.

Ian resumed his faster pace, then doubled back to push me forward.

“All right, all right,” I said. There went the idea of pacing myself to protect my leg.

“Hike them legs up! There you go,” Ian panted.

After half a minute, we passed Sean.

“Move it, Sean!” Ian yelled. “You got to show them pups ahead who’s boss.”

Panting, Sean barely yelled out, “I couldn’t train with the hours I got to work.”

At the pace Ian the Taskmaster set, I couldn’t catch my breath. My lungs burned, but with his sturdy legs and army-built voice urging me on, we rounded the corner and spotted the first of the other three ahead.

“We can pass him. In your head, keep seeing yourself passing him.” Over and over again he spouted his mantra as we approached the man in a red snowsuit. The snow began to clear a bit as we approached a thicket of trees, and as we bounded over a log, we noticed another competitor ahead of us, trying to trudge through a heavy patch of snow.

I pointed to a log on the left. “There!” We went around the patch and, with a celebratory war cry, passed the wolf in red. The work was almost done. We had two runners behind us. Of course, my bad leg picked the perfect time to have sharp pains.

I tripped in an attempt to grab my thigh. “Ack!”

“Damn it, woman! Quit whining and ignore it.”

“Oh, that’s easy for you to say. You’re in shape!”

“Yeah, right. I was shot three times in Vietnam, had the butt of a gun shoved into my face at the Alamo, and now I have a pissant werewolf complaining about leg pain. Move it, woman!”

As best as I could, I plowed ahead with him … and, finally, the finish line was in sight. I couldn’t help but laugh as Ian shoved me forward so I’d finish with a time slightly ahead of his own.

I turned to him and punched his shoulder. “Thanks. For yelling at me.”

Ian shrugged, grinning. “I don’t get to do it often.” He walked over to a friend waiting with hot coffee. I didn’t have to wait long before Aggie and my father came to my side. My best friend pushed a mug of hot coffee into my hands.

“Drink it.”

I took a sip and choked on the strength of the alcohol. “What the hell is in this?”

“Oh, it’s just Irish coffee. A little bit of whiskey should keep you warm
and
wake you up.”

“Wake me up? Is this before or after I pass out from inebriation?” I shook my head and shoved the cup into her hands. “You should tell people what’s in stuff before they drink it. I can’t have alcohol—I’m on enough anti-anxiety medication to calm a herd of horses in line at the glue factory.”

Aggie rolled her eyes as my father chuckled. “Fine! I’ll go get the drink made for the pups.”

I scowled at her as she stalked away.

“How are you holding up?” Dad asked.

“As well as I can. Thanks to Ian over there.” I wished I could tell my dad I was in pain already, but he looked so proud of me.

Dad nodded and patted my back. “Ian’s a good man.”

We stood side by side, and he didn’t stop me when I leaned against him for a bit to focus on forgetting the persistent pain in my leg. My dad was also a good man—even with the past he had. No one could change that in my mind.

“Dad?” A question tickled the back of my throat.

“Yes?” He looked at me.

“How do you endure all the things that have happened to you without breaking? Without becoming an animal?” Some of what Roscoe had said about Dad went through my head. As I’d grown up, Dad had never exuded all the bad things Roscoe and even Luther had said about him. But it was hard to deny the truth: Perhaps a killing machine lived within my father. It was rather hard, though, to look up at him and think that. I much preferred to focus on moments like this.

Dad sighed. “I’ve roamed the earth for almost a century, daughter. I’ve been broken many times in the past.” He paused. “Seen and done many things I wish I hadn’t. But I still have my heart. And within my heart I have unrelenting love for my family. For my children. The wolf within can’t change that.”

Dad tilted my chin up. “You’ll always be my daughter. And as such, you have what it takes to be part of the pack again. I know it.”

I nodded and tried to fight the emotions that threatened to overflow. Before I could ask Dad more questions, Rex announced it was time for the obstacle course.

“All right, candidates! Let’s head on over.”

The course was less than a mile long. I’d learned from my father that every year the pack gathered together for more than a week to create the obstacle course. How they managed to accomplish this feat during the winter left me baffled. Maybe they kept warm and toiled drinking Aggie’s Irish coffee.

Tired and in pain, I joined the other candidates at the startling line. The urge to limp was strong, but I kept it at bay. By this point, the sun had disappeared and only the winter moonlight cast a glow against the snow. The wintery breaths of the other werewolves filled the air as we waited. The other candidates’s hunger to complete the trials hit my gut.

“Based on your final finishes we have the following point values: 100 for Sean Smith, 200 for David Fields, 300 for Ian Denton, 400 for Natalya Stravinsky, and finally 500 points for Heath and Kyle Reynolds, due to a tied finish.”

The current standings left me eager to begin. I had a few people behind me, but then, the obstacle course and the standoff didn’t bode well for my entering the pack. I glanced at the Reynoldses.

We all lined up at the starting point. I could hear Aggie cheering for me from the sideline. She held a mug and took a sip. I figured it was some of her coffee—I sure hoped she didn’t drink too much. The last thing I needed was a drunk cheering squad. Before Rex threw down the flag, I caught Thorn’s eye. From his position on the hill above me, our gazes locked for a half second.

He pumped his fist in the air and mouthed, “C’mon, Nat.” Erica noticed our exchange and marched over to him. Before I could witness their conversation, Rex threw down the flag. Fresh out of the starting gate, I ran ahead of the men through the snow, toward the tire run. The snow had been cleared here, and I used my few seconds’ lead time to plow through the tire run. Then I encountered the horizontal bars. Shit! I tried swinging from rung to rung, hoping my meager upper-body strength would hold me up. I watched in despair as everyone passed me.

“Move it, Natalya. It’s just a bunch of bars!” Ian barked.

To make matters even worse, when I was only halfway done I fell from the bars, into the soggy mix of mud and snow. My bad leg took the brunt of my fall. The werewolf who oversaw this portion of the course told me to return to the start. “Go on, it’s the rules.”