Kept (34 page)

But Mom’s words fell on deaf ears. Tradition was tradition.
And among the pack, even my mother held tight to the Code. Among all the excited chatter, I tried to ignore the soft cries of my grandmother. In between sobs, she murmured the Lord’s Prayer in Russian.

Aggie pulled me up and whispered, “You and I both know you can’t walk away from this. I can create a diversion, though, and you can run away—”

Through my layers of pain, I smiled at my friend. If this was the end, I would end my life on a high note. Thorn had chosen me.
Me
. And even if Erica ended my life, she couldn’t take back the words he’d spoken in front of everyone. “Thank you, Aggie. For everything.”

I shifted my gaze to Erica. “I accept your challenge for the position of alpha female for the South Toms River pack.” Weariness tugged at my shoulders, and my leg throbbed painfully, but I tried to stand tall.

Farley ambled forward on his cane. He barked, “Apparently we have a real fight coming.” He assessed both of us, his frown shifting into a malicious grin. “About time I saw some real blood spilled tonight.”

Erica stood at the edge of the circle with an air of fury marring her perfect features. The debutante had been washed away. Now only the ugly ice queen remained.

“You ladies know the rules. Both of you fight until we have a victor and the loser is dead. No one,” he eyed Aggie, “is allowed to intervene.”

Aggie lowered her head and shrunk back.

Erica’s mouth formed a snarl. She rushed to unbutton her coat. Fiery and hungry to fight, she tossed it to the ground. The whole time she did this preening, I slowly unzipped my coat. I mean, who in their right mind should be in a hurry for an ass-beating?

The wolf within me hungered for this final confrontation. A chance to set things right had always been desired. But I was in control now. And this type of thought
brought me both joy and self-confidence. I refused to surrender to the bloodlust.

“Oh, come on, bitch!” She paced back and forth, panting gusts of air that formed a fog around her. “Don’t think by going so slow you’ll get me to change my mind about tearing your throat out.”

How ladylike. From the way she behaved, I doubt the local Girl Scout troop leader would use her as a mentor. Not with that potty mouth. As she stared me down with rising fury, I continued at my own pace, my gaze never leaving her. By the time I discarded my coat, a growl rose in her throat as she surrendered to her wolf and hunched over for the transformation. But I didn’t give her a chance to start. I leaped toward her, swinging.

Erica reacted quickly to my move and slid out of the way. For my quick-thinking, I was rewarded with a vicious jab to my face. Her other hand swiped down my shoulder gouging my left arm. I stumbled away, but she wasn’t done with me. She pounced and grabbed a fistful of my hair. Pain coursed through my scalp. Raw and vicious. Then she slammed my head into the snow. Again and again. The spittle from her growls fell on my face as she continued ramming the back of my head into the earth.

Since I’d recently fought with Kyle, the black spots so close to the surface returned.
Thud! What the hell are you doing? Kick this crazy bitch!

I drew my legs in and thrust upward. The movement sent Erica flying into the crowd. She crashed into a few werewolves, who pushed her back into the circle with glee. Woozy, I could barely make out their yellow glowing eyes. Their excited growls. They wanted to see more blood.

The snow continued to fall and cast a strange scene as Erica came for me again, her blonde hair bouncing as
she plowed into me with her claws extended. I used her momentum and propelled her again into the onlookers.

Deep in the crowd, Becky cackled, “Kill her, Erica!”

My moment of recovery didn’t last long. She jumped on my back and viciously clawed at my ribs. From the way she feverishly swiped and scraped at my clothes, she wanted to rip my body in two.

Then she played dirty and slammed her fist right into the place she’d hit with the crowbar.

I wish I could say I took the blow quietly—that I didn’t scream out and cower before her, but I did. I might’ve even blacked out for a second there.

Aggie continued to roar from the crowd. “Natalya, damn it, fight!”

Lights danced in my vision, but I managed to thrust the back of my head into her chin. The sensation jarred my skull, but the effect jolted her enough for me to free myself. I scrambled to the other side of the circle. The blood from my arm dampened my coveralls and trailed down my side. The healing process was much too slow in human form, but I had to use the advantage, since Erica, as a more dominant female, was stronger in wolf form. I couldn’t allow her to change. Before she could initiate the transformation process again, I ignored my leg and ran full speed and rammed into her hunched body. She sidestepped my movement, caught me, and slammed me into the bitterly cold snow. Erica pounced again, this time wrapping her hands around my throat. Her legs held mine subdued, and all I could do was stare her down while she choked me.

“Your life belongs to me,” she whispered. “In your death, I will live on.” Her eyes, once blue and regal, became amber. She said more words, but I missed them as she faded away. Everything went numb except the sensation of her blood dripping on my face. “And as
you die by my hand you’ll know it was I who killed you. It was me who flooded your little piece-of-shit house.”

Give up
, whispered the wolf.
Play dead. Set me free
.

Erica giggled, sweet and melodic. “It wasn’t too hard to release the locks on one of the levies. And watch the water spill forth.”

My flailing arms ceased while I faded again. I heard the cries of my grandmother begging Erica to let me live. The nonchalant snort from my aunt Yelena. My brother had attempted to intervene as I laid still.
Slow your heartbeat. Calm yourself. Slow down
.

The spell that Grandma had taught me flowed through my head and emerged from my lips. No matter how much she’d beaten me down she couldn’t take away the fire I had within. The spell calmed me and helped suppress the wolf that never surrendered. The wolf wanted to fight, but now wasn’t the time. Soon my chance would come. Nick was right, if I believed enough, the magic was there waiting for me.

As expected, Erica shook my shoulders. When I didn’t twitch, she stood to scream out, “I win!” She kicked my side, the force propelling me onto my belly. With wide, staring eyes, I watched my blood turn the snow crimson. I breathed into the snow once and then no more. Let her gloat. “Let me go to her,” Alex snarled. “If she’s dead, it shouldn’t matter.”

Not far away, I spied Thorn with his fists clenched. He hadn’t intervened—there was no sorrow on his face. From the way his gaze bore into mine, he probably knew what I was about to do next.

The roar of the crowd dulled the sounds of my heartbeat. Erica would never see me coming. I set the wolf free. Unchained the vengeful animal within. Rage over the flood that had occurred a few months ago and ruined my belongings. All my precious ornaments. All the cleaning my family had done on my property. All those
new memories I had due to the flood. I should thank her for bringing my family together—after I beat the living shit out of her. I slammed into her back. With my left hand wrapped around her golden mane, I lifted her head up and belted her face with the other. Again and again.

The stunned crowd fell silent to see Lazarus had risen from the dead. The change enveloped me. Fur sprouted along my back. The bloodlust filled my vision with crimson. Soon enough the hissing from my bruised throat turned into grunts as I gave into the fury.
Must. Kill. Her
.

But then I stopped.

The landscape around me turned white again. The all-consuming anger left as quickly as it had come. It took me a moment to realize I’d won this time. My gaze went to my hand, which held a thick portion of her hair. I dropped it. My opponent gasped in wet breaths, but didn’t stir.

Somehow, I found my voice. “I refuse to lower myself to treat you as you’ve treated me.”

Everyone, except Thorn, stared with wide eyes. My mother and aunts huddled together with handkerchiefs over their faces, drying their damp cheeks. They’d mourned too soon.

Even Auntie Yelena, who’d cheered—for Erica—had been silenced.

Farley finally spoke. “Kill her, Natalya. End this now.”

I didn’t waver. “No.”

Every head bowed before Farley except two—Thorn’s and mine. “No? You defy me?”

“If you want her to die, you come kill her.” With my entire body yearning for me to rest on the bitterly cold snow, I stood my ground with a straight back.

Farley nodded to Rex and Will. “Finish this, now! A challenge has been made. According to the Code, the challenge must be completed.”

Before they touched Erica, Thorn stepped in front of us. “That’s enough.” He growled deep in his throat. “It’s over!”

“Thorn! Stand down.” Farley’s withered body shook with anger. Erica’s father seethed as well. Their deal had been broken—in front of everyone. Farley poked his cane at Rex and Will. “This has gone on long enough.”

Thorn thundered, “The alpha female has been chosen by me and, as my father decreed five months ago, I am the new alpha male.” He shifted his gaze to his father. “Unless you want to stand before me and contest
your
decision.” A battle of wills ensued as father and son stared each other down. In all my years, I’d never witnessed a fight for the position of alpha. Whines and growls of anger accompanied the tension in the air. But it was the elderly wolf Farley who backed down and bowed his head.

“We had an arrangement—” Erica’s father cried.

“Oh, shut up!” Aggie pushed him into a snowdrift. He attempted to stand, to snap at her, but Will jumped between them. “It’s over, Blake. Go get your daughter. She needs medical care.” Erica’s father rose, but his gaze never left Aggie’s as he walked backward to where I guarded his daughter.

When he got close, I stepped back so he could pick her up and cradle her in his arms. Becky approached, with her eyes averted, and wrapped Erica’s coat around her still body.

In one fell swoop, the cold air and my injuries gripped me in a savage vise. I clung to Thorn’s back as my legs became warm custard.

“Nat!”

“No!” I ground my teeth together as the chill bit into the soles of my feet. “Don’t turn around. This is my time. My moment. Don’t take it away by babying me.”

“Still the same stubborn Nat. You do realize you’re
bleeding all over the place.” He chuckled and placed his hand over mine to make sure I didn’t let go.

“No shit, Captain Obvious.”

When Erica’s father carried her away, I took an unsteady step to reach for my shoes. Thorn grabbed them for me. Gently he placed my coat over my shoulders.

“You want to try to put them on?”

I grunted—even that hurt my ribs. “Bending over right now isn’t a good idea.”

My limp was painfully obvious, but I managed to walk through the crowd with my head high. What happened next was something I wasn’t sure how to take in.

In between the shouts of congrats from the pack, I noticed that no one made direct eye contact with me. Every man, woman, and child lowered their head when I passed. The whole scene felt surreal.

But then I stopped before Auntie Yelena. Proud Auntie Yelena Torchinovich. Our gazes locked for a moment, and I could almost hear her virulent words, “They
tolerate
you since they pity you.”

This time I didn’t back down—I didn’t turn away. After everything I’d been through, she could take me down with a single flick. But tonight I’d been pushed over the edge and survived. No one could take away my victory.

Auntie Yelena trembled, and then slowly turned to gaze at the forest ground, exposing her long neck. Thin fingers pushed her coat down to further expose her collarbone. Her acquiescence to me was complete.

The whole time, Thorn didn’t speak or look my way.

At the edge of the crowd, I found my parents waiting. They quickly surrounded me in a hug. My knees buckled again, but Mom and Dad held me up without the others noticing. Grandma reached between them to sprinkle kisses along my forehead.

I managed to whisper, “Thank you, babushka.”

“No worries; you rest for now.” She blew me another kiss then hugged for my brother.

I thought my father would offer to carry me to a car so they could take me to the healer’s house, but instead he took Thorn’s hand and extended mine to him.

“She’s yours to take care of now.” He gave Thorn a stern look that melded into a grin. “Be careful, though, if she’s like her mother you may need to keep her busy in the kitchen.”

I rolled my eyes as Mom swatted Dad’s arm.

Thorn kissed my forehead, and I winced. Every step to his SUV was pure torture until he set me down on the passenger’s seat. Instead of closing the door after me, he stopped and stared.

“Did you doubt me?” he asked.

I didn’t hesitate. “Yeah, I kinda did, but that doesn’t matter now. I know the truth about my heart.”

“What’s that?”

A smile snuck on my face. “You never lost it. You just
kept
it.”

With that wide grin of his, he shut my door then moved around the car and climbed into the driver’s seat. Once the car was started, he set the heater on full blast. “Looks like I have some work ahead to patch you up.” He took my hands and rubbed the palms. “I want to make everything right between us. We got a lot of talking to do.”

Yeah, we had many conversations ahead of us. But then again, didn’t all relationships have baggage—or in my case, baggage in the form of boxes? “We’ll figure things out, but there is something I need to make clear right now.”

“What’s that?”

I took a deep breath. Right after I won the fight I knew I’d need to say this. “I’m not completely ready yet to be
alpha female. And after a night like tonight, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”

With a slight smile, he set out to reassure me, whispering, “You won’t ever need to do anything you don’t want to, not anymore.”